Conklin's Blueprints (39 page)

“Um, what ass?  Speaking of which, when was the last time you ate?  You are wasting away.”

“I ate a bag of Doritos yesterday.”

“One, a snack size bag of Doritos doesn’t count, and two, it isn’t a meal, and three, since when do you eat Doritos?”

Since I realized my life would always be a giant cluster fuck.

“Becca, you need to eat.  I’m not doing this with you again.”  She pulled the blanket down to expose my face.  “I know you miss Tyler, and believe me, he is getting on my nerves too.”

I gave her a quizzical look.  Why would he be bothering her?  “Has he… called you?”  I choked, not sure if I wanted to know the answer.

She looked uneasy, as though she wasn’t sure how to tell me something.  “Yes, he has called me every day.  He keeps bugging me to talk to you, and he wants me to tell him how to make you forgive him.”

I couldn’t hide the irritation in my eyes.  I didn’t like that he was calling Jamie, and I didn’t like that Jamie didn’t tell me.

“The past week whenever I answer I say the same thing, ‘Did you tell your parents about Becca?’ and if he doesn’t answer me, I hang up.  I’m on your side Bec.”

I felt bad for being annoyed with her and a tear escaped my eye.

“Becca, I’m sorry.  I should have told you.  Come on, let’s do something fun tonight.”

“I don’t feel like going out,” I said wiping the tear from my cheek.

She sighed at me again.  “Why don’t you call that Gage guy?  And Lauren?  We could play that card game you taught me in college.  Oh Becca, let’s do that!  It would be so much fun!”

“I need to stay far away from Gage, Jay Rae.  I’m so emotionally unstable right now, and I would do something stupid with him.”

“Maybe that’s what you need, Bec.”

I was agitated with her again.  When was she going to believe me that I didn’t want to do that anymore.  “I’m not going to just fuck random guys anymore.  When are you going to get that?”

Jamie blanched at my words.  “I’m sorry,” she whispered.

I felt bad again; I really needed to get a hold of myself.  “Speaking of guys, what about Sean?  You haven’t gone out with him in a while.  Why don’t you give him a call?”

She bit her nail and shrugged her shoulders.  “Well… he has his kid tonight…” she trailed off.

What?

“
He has a kid?
” 
I asked in shock. 

She sat up on the bed and crossed her legs.  “Yeah… he is kind of… married.”

My jaw dropped.  “What?”  I said in a low tone.

She shrugged her shoulders, “Well, they are separated.  He isn’t sure if they are going to get a divorce or not.  He has his son every Wednesday night and every other weekend.”

How could she do that?  “Jamie, they are
married
.”  I was trying to fight back fury towards her.  I had been cheated on, and it was miserable.  She had witnessed it, and now she was doing it to someone else?

“Becca, don’t look at me like that, he is only married on paper,” she said.

I shook my head at her.  I had to leave before I said something I would regret.  “I’m going to the gym,” I said, getting out of bed and going into my closet to get some clothes to workout in
.

“Didn’t you go to the gym after work?”  she asked, following me off the bed.

“I feel like running.  I will be back late.  Don’t wait up for me,”  I mumbled while putting on shorts under my sweats.  I grabbed my sneakers and headed for the front door.

~

I sat in the lounge area of the gym staring off into space with my knees to my chest on the large sofa couch trying to push the fact that  Jamie was sleeping with a married man from my mind.   I managed to drop most of the irritation about Jamie keeping Tyler’s phone calls from me while hitting the row machine.  Fiddling with my protein shake, I was startled by Gage’s voice.

“Hey Bs!  What are you doing here?”  Gage said with a huge smile.  He set his bag down and sat down on the couch next to me.

“I have a membership here.  What are you doing here?”  I asked him, puzzled to see him at a downtown gym when he lived on the other side of town.

“I play in a basketball league here with some guys from work.  I have tried to call you the past couple of weeks.  Have you been avoiding me for a reason?” he teased.

I hugged my knees tight to my chest with my chin resting on my shoulder as I looked at him.  “Sorry, I haven’t been checking my phone a whole lot lately.”

“Well, why don’t we go get some pizza.  It was fun chatting at McFaddens.  Let’s catch up some more.”

My face went contrite at his invitation.  I knew I would have fun if I went out with him, but I just didn’t feel like going out.  I was too busy trying to forget about Tyler.

“What is it?  You worried about what that guy is going to think if we hang out?” he flirted.

My face fell again.  I didn’t want to talk about Tyler.

“Uh oh, trouble in paradise?”  Gage asked, shifting so he was facing me.  The urge to cry was on the horizon.  Hearing Gage ask about him brought me back to when they had first met, how I wrapped my arms around Tyler because I was so happy to see him come get me at the bar. 

“My life was never a paradise, you know that,” I said, trying to change the subject.

Gage gave me a crooked smile and stood up holding his hand out to me.  I took it as he helped me up.  “Well, let’s go find paradise.”  His eyes were dancing, and I couldn’t help but smile at him.  His dimples made an appearance when his grin grew wider to my reaction.  I let go of his hand to reach for my hoodie.  His eyes studied me as I put on my warmer clothes.

“Let’s go to Vitale’s.  You need to eat something,” he said, putting his backpack over his shoulders.

“I look awful.”  It was true.  My hair was sweaty and my skin was glistening.  I was in desperate need of a shower.

“Yeah, you look like you haven’t eaten in days.  Come on, I’ll drive.”

I walked with him out to the parking lot.  My eyes widened to see he had the same car after all these years.  He opened his door and flashed a smug smile at my opened mouth.  His black two-door Chevelle from the 90’s held lots of memories.  Shaking my head, I climbed in and took in the smell of the white leather.  I closed my eyes and felt the smooth texture on my fingertips, remembering how it felt on my bare back.  This really wasn’t a good idea.

“You know, I’m really kind of tired.  Would you mind just bringing me home?  I live about a half a mile north.”

“Sure, after we eat something.” He grinned, starting the engine to the Chevelle, having it roar to life as he pulled out of the parking lot.

“Gage, I really don’t feel up to going out and seeing people in my gym clothes,” I whined.

“Becca, you look beautiful and way too skinny.  It’s time to eat some pizza.”

I was so not skinny.

I slouched in the seat holding my gym bag to my chest.  I wasn’t going to win with him, and I hoped he wouldn’t be too annoyed when I ordered a salad. 

Fortunately Vitale’s wasn’t crowded, probably because there weren’t any major sporting events taking place on a Wednesday night.  As we sat in a booth, Gage ordered a pitcher of Bud Light.

“So, do you still like Hawaiian pizza?”  Gage asked as he opened the menu.

“I don’t eat pizza,” I said biting my lip.

He scowled at me.  “Well, I think you should splurge tonight.  Besides, we always went and got pizza together.”

“Gage, that was almost six years ago.”

He leaned over the table and licked his lips, “Maybe we should relive the past tonight.”

I leaned backwards.  He was so tempting, but I couldn’t. 

“Gage…”

He laughed and leaned backwards throwing the menu on the table.  “Becca, relax.  Can’t we just have fun like we used to?  You obviously haven’t had a good time in a while.”

The server came back and took our orders.  Gage frowned at me when I ordered a salad.  I was frowning internally because it was so late, but I was hungry and the only food I had eaten all day was a protein shake at the gym. 

When our food came, Gage made a big deal about how awesome the pizza looked and tasted.  I just picked at my salad.  The pizza did look really good.

“B, you really need to eat a slice of this… it’s really good… mmm,” he exaggerated as he took a bite.  I let out a small smile.  He leaned forward chewing with his flirtatious gleam in his eye.  “If you don’t take a slice of this pizza, I’m going to come over to your side of the booth and tickle you.”

I narrowed my eyes at him.  “Yeah, right.” 

He lifted his eyebrows and cocked his head.  “I mean it Bs, you better take a slice of this…”

I rolled my eyes trying to contain my smile as I took a bite of my boring salad.  I felt a body slide next to me in the booth and an arm relax across my shoulder and a hand on my hip.  I froze.  “Don’t even think about it,” I said sternly while glaring at him, leaning as close to the wall as I could.

He moved his hand from my hip and took a piece of pizza and put it on a plate in front of me.  “Come on, one little piece…” he coaxed closer to my ear.  His voice was sensual, and I was caught off guard by his playfulness turning into seduction.

I moved my eyes from the pizza to his face.  His eyes were dark with hunger while a smile played on his lips. I took a breath in when he moved his hand to my thigh.  I clenched my teeth and shook my head.  “I’m not eating that.  Go back to your side of the table.”

He shrugged his shoulders and then attacked my sides.  I didn’t think he would actually start tickling me in a restaurant like this!

“Gage, STOP!”  I laughed as I wiggled trying to grab a hold of his hands.

“I’ll stop when you eat it,” he smirked.  The few heads that were in the restaurant were starting to turn our way.  My face grew beet red as Gage’s fingers were relentless.

“FINE!”  Gage pulled his hands off of me and remained in the booth, eyeing me with amusement as I picked up the pizza.  I let out a sigh and bit a small piece off the end.

Oh my…

It tasted unbelievably good.  I chewed it slowly as if that would make me burn the calories I was consuming.  The way the cheese was melting in my mouth mixed with the sweetness of the pineapple and the saltiness of the ham.  It was as though I had died and gone to heaven.

“It’s good, right?”  Gage grinned, encouraging me to take another bite.

I guess one piece of pizza wouldn’t kill me.  Hopefully I wouldn’t dream about it the next few nights and cave to the urge of ordering one in the middle of the night.

The rest of the meal went by with great ease.  Gage talked about his work and how his manager was really fond of him and was helping him learn how to manage the shop.  He filled me in on how his mom was doing and that he was staying with her to help with the mortgage.  I admired his loyalty to his mom.  She worked so hard for Gage, and they clearly were all each other had.

He stayed on my side of the booth, and when we were done eating and had gotten our change back, he slid his hand back on my thigh.  It felt nice, but I felt uncomfortable that it didn’t bother me.  I went to move his hand, and he interlaced our fingers while standing up to pull me out of the booth in a swift movement.

He gave me a heartwarming smile as we walked out of the restaurant hand in hand.  I tried to let go, but he wouldn’t let me until we got to his car.  He even opened the door for me.  Gage never did that.

He got into his side of the car and pulled out of Vitale’s.  “Where do you live?  Or is your car back at the gym?” he asked.

“No, I walked to the gym.  I live in the River House Condos on Lake Michigan by Pearl Street.”

He smirked and almost had a hint of sadness in his eyes.

We pulled into the ramp, and I told him where to park.  “You could have just dropped me off at the front.”

He shrugged his shoulders and turned the car off.  “I don’t mind,” he said, not budging from his seat.  I gulped at his stare.  His eyes were getting hungry again, and I wasn’t ready for what he wanted. 

“Gage…”  I didn’t know how to tell him I wasn’t ready to be with another man, especially one that I knew didn’t want anything more than something physical.

He stretched his arm out across the back of the bench seat and slouched a bit in the seat, as though he were inviting me to come snuggle up next to him.  “Bs, we’ve had some good memories in this front seat,” he said, ignoring my accusing tone.

I sighed.  “Yeah, I know… and thank you for tonight.  It was nice and took my mind off of… things.”

He smiled and patted the seat next to him.  “Let’s clear your mind completely.”

I rolled my eyes.  He was always so blunt, acting as though he were joking but really wasn’t.

“I’m not going to have sex with you just to have sex.  I’m not letting myself do that anymore,” I said in a whispered, unable to look at him.

He scooted so he was right next to me.  “Becca, I’m not just some random guy.  We know each other,” he said lifting his hand and moving my bangs across my forehead.  “You and I both know it will be good.  It always is with us.”  His lips were so close to my ear. 

“I know, but I’m 24.  I want to settle down, get married, have a family.  I know that might seem weird now a days, but I don’t...I don’t want to be used anymore,” I choked out.  I felt tears build up in my eyes. 

He put his forehead on my temple and wrapped his arms around me.  “You can have all that, but why not start tomorrow?”

Was he serious?  God, he was a tramp.  I always knew he was, but those words sealed the deal.  I opened the door and pushed him away from me.

“Bs,” he said in a scolding tone, while scampering out of the car to follow me.  “This is about that stiff you were with at McFadden’s, isn’t it?  You’re hung up on him aren’t you?”

I marched to the elevator.

“No, he turned out to be an asshole, and I don’t invest time into assholes anymore,” I seethed with tears flowing down my cheeks, tapping my foot on the floor as though it would make the elevator arrive faster.

“Come on, you know you can’t put me in that category.  We had something that summer.  You were the one who squashed it.”