Conservative Affairs (8 page)

Jo returned to her desk and quickly crafted templates for all contingencies she could envision cropping up. When she was done, Ian and Gabe told her to spend the rest of the day tending to Madeline and helping her get settled in wherever she chose to stay. They suggested a hotel near City Hall. Jo decided she would present Madeline with options—Jo would take her to a hotel, she could continue to stay at Jo’s or she could go home.

All the options were fine with Jo, although if she were being honest with herself, she had to admit she wanted Madeline to stay. There was something invigorating about having another person in the apartment, even if it was close quarters and even though it meant having to keep a secret from her.

There was a warmth about Madeline, even when she was upset, that made the thought of going home more enticing to Jo. That transformed a lifeless space into something like the sanctuary she wanted it to be.

On the drive across town, Jo figured it was as good a time as any to pick up her phone and call her father. He had been calling all day, but she simply had not had the time or the energy to deal with him.

Her hands shook slightly as she hit the speed dial button that would connect her with him, wishing that she could avoid it, but also knowing that his persistence wouldn’t fade. Unlike the media, this was a call she couldn’t ignore.

The phone hadn’t even completed its first ring when she heard him pick up.

“Hey.” His voice was rushed with anticipation. “How is it going? Is everything okay?”

“It’s all going to be fine, Dad,” she said, unable to stifle a sigh.

“Is it? We need her in that office. We can’t let the liberals and progressives take it back.”

“It’s Oklahoma, Dad. It’s the reddest state in the country, and her reelection is going to be a cakewalk. And in case you were wondering, she’s also a human being who has emotions. This is about a little more than poll numbers.”

“Of course it is,” he quickly responded. “But, the fact of the matter remains that there’s a lot at stake here. Are you working hard to make sure that it’s handled correctly?”

“That’s not exactly my job alone, but we’re all working very hard.”

“Good. I’m glad to hear that. A couple of the guys likely to be running against each other in the Democrat primary have publicly stated their support for both abortion and gay marriage. We can’t have that kind of influence leading our capital city.”

Every word was like a blow to her gut, but she hung on. She fought the urge to tell her dad that it didn’t even matter. The mayor’s office was a city post; it would have no real bearing on those issues anyway. They were largely peripheral for anything but a state or federal seat. She didn’t want to debate.

“Thanks for checking in, Dad. Have a good night.”

“Keep me posted,” he squeezed in before she hung up.

She knew deep down that he meant well, but every conversation with him seemed to reinforce the fact that she was never going to be able to please her parents. Her heart pounded, each beat angrier than the last, as she tried to focus on the issue at hand. The mayor was the most important thing to worry about right now.

As she thought of Madeline, her smile returned. Jo hoped that she had slept well and that she would ultimately choose to stay, even if for only one more night. She didn’t care if Madeline slept on the couch or if they only made small talk while Jo cooked her dinner. She just wanted her nearby. Wanted to hear the sweet sound of Madeline’s laugh again, wanted to relive the closeness of last night.

It was selfish, she knew, considering all that Madeline had been through in the past twenty-four hours, but still, she had enjoyed being there for someone else—enjoyed being someone’s rock.

That kind of intimacy was something she had all but forgotten. These days, she was lucky to have a conversation outside of work with a convenience store clerk or a one-night stand. The notion of having friends had pretty much died when she took this job. For one thing, the hours did not really allow for maintaining friendships. For another, it was hard to be close to someone and not divulge the deep secrets she was keeping.

Regardless, she was determined to find a way to win Madeline’s friendship and keep her secrets in the process. There was no sense in letting a golden opportunity like this slip through her grasp simply because she was too weak-willed to hold on to it. There was also no point in jeopardizing her job.

She pulled into the Starbucks drive-through a few blocks from her apartment and ordered two coffees. After Madeline’s drinking binge last night, coffee would likely be appreciated. Minutes later, she was getting out of her car and walking to her front door. She unlocked it and swung it open—a difficult task while carrying two cups of coffee—and her smile instantly faded.

Madeline was sprawled out on her couch…and well into Season One of
The L Word
.

Jo’s jaw dropped open, while Madeline fumbled for the remote—acting very much like a clumsy teen who had been caught watching porn.

To make matters worse, at the moment an intense sex scene was filling the screen, complete with moans of pleasure. Jo’s surprise was compounded when Madeline turned her gaze back to the screen, seemingly unable to tear her eyes away from the sight of the two women who were enjoying each other’s bodies. She shivered and finally found the off button when the two women on screen began to get dressed.

The silence in the room was almost palpable. Jo wished she could think of something to say. Instead, she walked awkwardly into the kitchen, set down the coffees, removed the messenger bag holding her laptop and briefcase and busied herself refilling Jaws’s food dish and water bowl.

It was Madeline who finally broke the silence, calling to her from the next room. “I’m sorry.”

Despite the tension, Jo laughed. “You don’t have to apologize to me.” She moved back into the room, though she took care not to meet Madeline’s gaze directly. She watched as Madeline followed suit, diverting her eyes and shifting uncomfortably in her seat. Jo stood awkwardly in the corner, hoping Madeline couldn’t hear her heart beating uncontrollably.

“That show is…um…very interesting, actually,” Madeline admitted, her cheeks flushing.

“It’s not bad.”

“Have you watched it all the way through? I mean, through Season Six?”

Jo nodded. She had watched it time and again when it first came out on DVD. It had made her feel as though she wasn’t the only lesbian in the world. She knew she wasn’t, of course, but in her family, her circle of friends, her world—she was.

“I may have to rent it and watch it through sometime. It was entertaining me.” Madeline paused and appeared to be thinking through what that meant.

“Guess those gays aren’t so bad after all, right?” Jo laughed.

“I don’t have a problem with gay people,” Madeline said quietly. “But you can’t exactly embrace everyone when you run for office.”

“I understand. It’s how our donors think, how this area of the world works,” Jo conceded. “I doubt that you would have received many votes if you supported the gays, even though you were running strictly on the issues of government accountability and limited spending.”

“You sound like a campaign commercial.” Madeline attempted a laugh, but the sound fell awkwardly in the space between them. “But what about you, Jo? How supportive are you of the gay lifestyle?”

“I have many friends…” Jo trailed off as Madeline’s brow arched in curiosity. Jo could tell where this was headed.

“So are you…?”

“Do you need clothes or anything else from your house?” Jo interrupted. It was better to avoid anything that personal for right now.

Jo could see that Madeline wanted to pursue the subject. She had to find a way to cut her off at the pass.

“I can go get them for you if you’d like,” she continued, determinedly steering the conversation down a different path.

“I’ll go with you.” Madeline finally gave into the subject change. “And then you can drop me off at a hotel. That way, I can be out of your hair and your life can return to normal.”

“You are more than welcome to stay here.”

“Oh no.” Madeline waved her hand in the air, dismissing the thought. Jo’s heart fell a little as she continued, “I’ll give you your space back.”

Chapter Eight

Madeline hadn’t expected Jo to come home so early. She needed to have a talk with Jaws.

“A warning bark wouldn’t have killed you, you know?” she imagined telling him.

At least Jo hadn’t walked in an hour earlier when the heat on the television screen had become too much for Madeline to take. She had given into temptation and pleasured herself on Jo’s couch as she watched two women make love, long-forgotten lust reawakened by the images.

It had been electrifying, and she hadn’t been lying when she told Jo she’d check out the show sometime. In fact, it was nearly all she could think about as they drove to her house to pick up her clothes.

At the same time, she couldn’t help but wonder about Jo. Why did she own all the DVDs of a lesbian television series if she didn’t enjoy watching two women together? Was this why the DOMA speech had been a little soft at first?

Was Jo Carson a lesbian? She let the thought circle around in her head. She secretly hoped the answer was yes. It wouldn’t play well in the press if anyone learned that one of Mayor Stratton’s staff members was a lesbian, but Madeline hoped that one day—if Jo were, in fact, a lesbian—she could come out of the closet and embrace who she was.

Madeline knew she was dreaming. Times were changing, but no one in the world of politics was that lucky or that free. Everyone was restricted. Everyone had the full attention of the media on them at all times. Everyone was under a microscope. So those who had such desires had to keep them under lock and key.

Everyone, Madeline reminded herself again, had secrets they needed to keep. For her, that meant spouting angry words in speeches on the subject of same-sex relationships, words that she could hide behind. It was a necessary evil if she wanted to continue her political career, her “normal” life. It was for the greater good if she wanted to keep trying to accomplish positive changes for the city. In a perfect world, it wouldn’t even be an issue. But the world wasn’t perfect. All of which meant those feelings of the past had to stay that way.

As Jo pulled into the driveway outside of the house, Madeline was thankful to see that John’s car was not there. This, at least, would be quick and easy. She would grab her things and leave. Later on, after the dust had settled and the paperwork was drawn up and signed, she would return to take whatever she needed and never again come back to this place…
The House of Broken Dreams
, she decided to call it.

Jo helped her from the passenger side of the vehicle, her hand steadying her. She was thankful for the support, even though she was overly aware of the tenderness of Jo’s touch. A strong, independent woman, Madeline rarely admitted, even to herself, that she needed help, but she was honestly not sure that she could have survived the events of the past day without Jo’s help.

There was kindness and compassion in everything Jo did. Madeline had come to rely upon it, actually. If she were being honest with herself, she didn’t want to spend the night at a hotel. In fact, there was nothing she wanted less than to be utterly and completely alone. But it didn’t seem right to continue to hole up in Jo’s apartment, intruding on her privacy.

Jo didn’t speak, didn’t push, as they went through the house, packing clothes and toiletries, and for that Madeline was thankful. Jo’s intuition was strong enough to sense when words weren’t necessary. It was a trait Madeline valued greatly.

Madeline tried, as she and Jo went through the house, to remember the good times she and John had shared there, however long ago that might have been. Over and over, though, the truth came spewing forth like a gusher in the oil field, reminding her that life wasn’t fair. Not every story had a happy ending. A love that seemed good—great even—could fall apart in front of your eyes, leaving you with nothing but a packed suitcase and the memory of silent glances, separate bedrooms, looks that said, “I don’t love you anymore.” She and John had become roommates who hated each other. There was no more passion, not even kindness. Whatever spark of friendship they had once shared had burned out and grown cold.

Madeline let out a long sigh. “That should do it for now,” she said. She heard a car door shut outside. “Dammit, let’s go.” They gathered her suitcase and cosmetics bag and went out the back door.

Madeline couldn’t get over the fact that she was fleeing her own house. It was all so ridiculous, but she did not want to see John again, not under any circumstances.

When they rounded the corner of the house, though, instead of seeing John’s car she saw three unfamiliar vehicles. She craned her neck to make out the faces of the people standing at her front door. As soon as she saw their cameras, she pulled back, prepared to run back into the house and hide out until they left. But she had stared a moment too long and was spotted.

Apparently, reporters could move at the speed of light. Before she could get even a few steps away, they were at her side. One was snapping pictures, while another was thrusting a microphone in her face and signaling to her cameraman to start filming.

“Mayor Stratton, did you know that your husband was having an affair?”

Madeline stared at her, dumbfounded, recognizing the co-anchor of the evening news at KWWG, the largest station in the city. This story clearly was a much bigger one than she had hoped it would be.

The reporter, an experienced interviewer, tried again. “Let me rephrase that. Do you know this woman?” She held up the picture of a gorgeous blond.

Once again, Madeline didn’t speak, but the shock she felt was most likely evident on her face. She hoped they would interpret it as dismay at being confronted with the reality of her husband’s cheating, but yes, she knew the woman in the picture. All too well, unfortunately.

“If you’re not staying here, where are you staying? In a hotel?”