Contingency (Covenant of Trust) (13 page)

“Just stick with me,” Phil answered. “Here’s the tough one. Have you thought about being with someone else, or even wondered what it would be like to be with another woman? Maybe not any particular woman?”

“Yes.” He was ruined. Phil had to think the absolute worst about him now.

“Thank you for being honest,” Phil said. “I know it’s hard, but we have to face all this head-on.”

We? I’m the one doing all the ‘facing.’

“Let’s switch gears now. What was your marriage like a year or so ago, before any of this was even on the horizon?” He leaned back and picked up his tea again.

“Good.”

“Not great?”

“It’s been almost twenty years. We’re settled into our routines. With our schedules, and now the boys’ schedules, we’re lucky to have a cup of coffee together.”

“So, ‘comfortable,’ ‘safe,’ and ‘routine?’”

“You make it sound bad.”

“I’m not trying to make it sound like anything. I just want to make sure I’m hearing what you’re saying. Did you date much in high school and college?”

“Not so much in high school, but I bounced around from girlfriend to girlfriend in college.”

“Did you ever get physical with any of them?”

“I had sex before I was married if that’s what you’re asking.” Chuck said.
After everything else, what’s a little premarital sex?
“But not after I got serious about Jesus. Bobbi knows all that.”

“Give me a rough timeline between meeting Bobbi and marrying her.”

“I made a commitment to Christ between my junior and senior year in college, and I met Bobbi the summer after I graduated. I was working for a contractor then, and her dad was a master plumber. She came to pick him up one afternoon at a house we were working on. I’ll never forget it.”

He smiled, visualizing it once again. “I thought she was five years older than me. Just the way she walked up the sidewalk ... I had to meet her. She was going to start college in the fall when I went to law school. We got engaged before the summer ended. She worked extra hard to get her bachelor’s degree in the three years I was at Northwestern. You baptized me that spring, and we got married that summer after we finished school.”

“How were those years being apart?”

“Tough, but I think it helped us both focus on our studies. Plus, Bobbi got to make her own friends and be on her own for a while before getting married.” Chuck shifted in his chair again. “Did you talk to her last night?”

“Donna did. She’s grappling with quite a bit emotionally. Bobbi’s also especially concerned about Brad. He’s taking this very hard.”

“I didn’t say it was hopeless. I said
you
can’t fix things. You let God make the changes in you that need to be made, and things with Bobbi and Brad will heal. You need to think in terms of months, not weeks.”

Chuck dropped his eyes. “That’s not what I wanted to hear.”

“With your confession, you’ve laid this huge burden down, and things feel better to you already, but Bobbi’s not going to heal until she can’t hurt anymore.”

“You
have
been listening. Let me give you an overview of what to expect from me, and then we’ll be finished for today.” Phil leaned up to his desk. “I have found that sin, especially big sin, happens when we get lax in our spiritual lives. Our relationship with God becomes mechanical, cold, indifferent, and this leaves us susceptible to attacks or temptations that wouldn’t merit a second glance otherwise.

“So, first off, I want you to rediscover your relationship with Jesus Christ, that foundation we talked about. Then we’ll look at what’s in your makeup that made you vulnerable to an affair, and build a hedge against it ever happening again. From what you’ve told me, purity issues have been a consistent problem for you, and it’s going to take a conscious, active commitment to change that.”

“You make it sound like I was an affair waiting to happen.” He couldn’t mask the frustration. He didn’t have time for Phil to drag him through some Bible study designed to point out how rotten he was while Bobbi drifted further and further away.

“Thirty-four years ago, Donna left me. She wouldn’t come home, wouldn’t talk to me until I got myself under control.” He leaned across the desk. “I know where you’re at, Chuck. I know how it feels to lose control and have everything you care about in a heap at your feet.”

“I’m sorry. I never dreamed—”

“Well, that just shows you the kind of changes God can accomplish when we get desperate enough to let Him.” Phil took a long drink from his tea. “Trust me, you can recover from this, and my, it will be worth it.” He leaned back in his chair. “Now, Mr. Hot Shot Lawyer, tell me what a contingency fee is.”

Chuck smiled. “It’s a fee built in to cover unforeseen circumstances or events.”

“An extramarital affair was a contingency you never considered, so there was no protection in your marriage against it. I want us to fix that.” Chuck nodded. “Okay, your homework, then, is to read the gospels. I want you to note every person Jesus comes in contact with, what their issues were, and how He dealt with them.”

“Father God, thank You for Phil and for his time and counsel. Thank You for Your mercy, and for grace and forgiveness. Dear God, help me follow where You lead, and be patient and teachable. In Jesus’ name, amen.” Chuck stood and shook hands with Phil. “Thanks again.”

“Not at all. Let’s meet again Wednesday morning.”

*******

Ann Molinsky waited
as long as she could stand it before calling her son. “How did it go last night?” she asked as soon as Chuck picked up the phone.

“No. As much as I hurt for you both, as much as I would like this to be over, I don’t think it’s wise for me to get in the middle. You need to talk directly to each other, not through a third party.” Chuck gave her the same silent response he’d used since grade school. “Did you start counseling?”

“Well, he would have made a terrible mistake if he had,” Ann said. “I’m proud of you, and the steps you’re taking. God’s going to honor this.”

*******

Later that evening
, Chuck unpacked a box of fried chicken and coleslaw, and set it on the coffee table along with his Bible and a legal pad. “Okay, Matthew, what have we got?” he asked, flipping in his Bible to the first gospel. “Chapter one, Jesus isn’t born yet. Chapter two, He’s a baby. So chapter three, John the Baptist.” He scribbled on his legal pad. “John didn’t have any issues,” he said, writing his observations down. “Treated John with respect, validated John’s ministry.” He flipped the page in his Bible. “Chapter four. Oh wait. I should pray first.”

Father, it hasn’t even been a week yet. I don’t have the patience for this. I want Bobbi to forgive me and have it over with, but I know she needs time. I can’t thank You enough that she’s willing to try to work through this.

Be with her and help her see how sorry I am, and that I want to make up for what I’ve done. Forgive me for being such a jerk with Phil.

Bobbi stopped in the school office to pick up her mail, then she led Joel to her classroom. She was grateful to have his company for the day. He would keep things light and, best of all, wouldn’t give her any advice.

Surveying the room, she muttered, “Okay, where to start ... Joel, why don’t you get the desks in groups of four while I go through my mail and try to get a plan.”

Joel swept his hand up to his forehead in an exaggerated salute and started dragging desks across the floor. Fighting the impulse to chide Joel for making so much noise, Bobbi turned on the computer on her desk and shuffled through a handful of memos while she waited.

“Wow.”

“What is it?” Joel asked.

“I was checking my class list. I have a Kelsey, with an ‘ey,’ a Kelsee, with an ‘ee,’ and a Chelsea, plus I have a Tanner and a Tannen.”

“Mr. Henneke is messing with you,” Joel smiled.

“No doubt. Hey, the desks look good. Now, I’ll put you to work on the calendar cut-outs, the weather cut-outs, and the numbers. Then we’ll laminate them and cut them all out again. You’ll love that part.”

“What’s Aunt Rita’s phone number again?” Joel teased. “Do you have any big people scissors?” Bobbi handed Joel a pair of scissors, along with a stack of construction paper and patterns, then she returned to her computer and began setting up her electronic grade book. Typing in students’ names, addresses, and phone numbers was exactly the kind of mechanical task she needed today. No thinking, no reasoning, just read the name and type it in. She flipped the sheet over to get the last child’s name and she froze.

The last student on her list was Tracy Caroline Wexler. Tracy. Every day, dozens of times a day, Tracy ... It wouldn’t matter that the little girl was innocent ...

“Oh, I looked at your list. That’s Seth Wexler’s sister. She goes by Caroline. Tracy is her dad’s name, too, so it was too confusing.”

“Are you sure?”

“Seth has been in my class twice. I’m sure.”

“Well, thanks for catching that.” Bobbi corrected her list, and thanked God for small graces. “Now, the laminator is around in the next hallway.” Bobbi dropped her voice to a whisper. “In the teachers’ lounge.” Joel gave her a conspiratorial smile.

Bobbi and Joel spent the rest of the morning working on more cutouts and labels. His presence kept her attention on the job at hand and prevented her mind from drifting. A little after noon, Joel spoke up. “So what time is lunch around here?”

“Oh, lunchtime slipped up on me. I bet you’re starved. You want to go for a burger?”

“I thought you’d never ask!”

Settled in a booth at Wendy’s, Joel devoured his cheeseburger and fries, while Bobbi pushed her salad around on its plastic plate. Joel chattered in between bites about a sequel playing at the multiplex he wanted to see, Cardinals baseball statistics, and an Internet rumor about somebody finding a live frog in their salad. Bobbi struggled to stay engaged in the conversation. After he finished his lunch, he folded his wrapper in a tight square, then spoke without looking up. “Mom, I don’t want to upset you …”