Contributor (Contributor Trilogy, book 1) (31 page)

"We should meet later tonight and discuss Project Epsilon," Dara told Letizia, her tone very businesslike.

Letizia took one look at Dara's burning gaze and nodded, her face tense. Dara knew she wanted to say something but couldn't. "I'll contact you once I've finished meeting with Head of Engineering Andersen."

"I'll be home waiting for your call."

Jumping up from the table, Dara rushed to the bathroom. She quickly scanned the room, found it empty, and stumbled into a stall, where she promptly threw up everything she had just eaten. She wiped a shaky hand over her mouth as her stomach continued to roil.

Never had she thought of herself as capable of pure, unadulterated hatred. How many careers and lives had Andersen managed to destroy during his tenure as Head of Engineering?

The door opened, and Dara hastily got up and flushed the toilet, waiting until she heard another stall door close before she went to the sink and angrily scrubbed her hands. A quick glance in the mirror told her that, miraculously, despite her inner turmoil, she wore such a placidly bland expression that she couldn't even see her own distress.

If Andersen thinks I'm some sort of innocent little creature he's about to lead to the slaughter, then that's what I'll give him.

As she returned to her station, Dara wondered if he had chosen her for precisely this reason. While her latest work had been superior to Javier's, Dara suspected that her seeming innocence added an appealing spice for Andersen. Undoubtedly, the sadistic bastard would relish doing his best to destroy her.

Chapter 39

It was difficult to make it through the rest of the day. Perceptive as ever, Javier watched Dara closely, and she suspected he already knew what Andersen had told her. When end of shift finally arrived, Dara hurried through the crowd of Magnum employees, feeling as if the more she moved, the further the exit got from her. As she burst out of it, she panted like she'd been under water, unable to draw oxygen into her lungs.

"Dad!" Dara called, when she arrived home, dizzy with relief at having at last reached sanctuary. Twice, Raj had someone to sweep their apartment, and both times the sweep hadn't turned up any signs of bugs. Just as Raj had predicted, Magnum couldn't have been less concerned about Leona's disappearance.

Silence greeted Dara, so she dropped her things by the door and made her way through the apartment, looking for her father. The very lack of her mother's presence assaulted her. They had already packed up her things and given them to the Authorities. After all, resources were scarce, and they were expected to Contribute. Not a trace of Leona remained, save for that precious book, hidden away in a secret compartment in the pantry.

Dara's stomach contracted with increasing degrees of pain as she made her way around her now-alien home. The apartment gave no indication that Leona had ever even existed. Dara and her father were supposed to act accordingly, as if Leona's absence hadn't left a gaping hole in their lives, as if they cared only about being devoted Contributors to Magnum.

Crumpling into a chair, Dara chewed at the cuticle on her right thumb until it began to bleed. The metallic taste startled her, and she looked down at her thumb as if it belonged to another person. Never in her life had her nails been anything short of perfectly groomed.

I can't do this
, she thought, as she fetched a clean piece of gauze and pressed it firmly to the wound.
No matter how much it's eating me up inside, I can't show Magnum.

But how, exactly, was she supposed to hide these feelings? How was she supposed to ignore this inner turmoil?

By the time her father arrived home, Dara had paced from one end of the living room to the other more times than she could count. He looked tired, but his face creased in concern when he saw her.

"Dara? What happened?"

"Andersen chose me as his assistant."

She watched as a thousand emotions played out over his features. Though his pride was plain, so were his anger and fear.

"I don't know what to say," Joshua finally admitted. He sighed tiredly and turned away to put his things by the door. The stooped way he moved made him look like a very old man, and Dara shuddered.

"Dad, I..." But she couldn't quite get the words out. It wasn't that she didn't want to tell her father how she felt; she knew he would understand. She was simply unwilling to expose him to the risk.

"You're going to do it, aren't you?" he asked, turning to face her.

Dara didn't even pretend to misunderstand him. "Yes. I'm going to see Letizia tonight."

"Good," he said, shocking her to her core. He folded her into his arms.

"I was afraid you'd be mad or disappointed or—" she said, her voice muffled as she pressed her cheek against his suit.

"No, Dara. I've never been anything less than overwhelmingly proud of you," he said in a firm voice, and she closed her eyes, her body relaxing in relief. "If anything, I'm even prouder of you now."

"You are?" Surprised, she drew back from him.

He nodded, his eyes serious. "I wish I'd had the courage to act."

"Courage?" She felt anything but brave.

"I took the easy way out. I just did what I was told, even though I knew it was wrong. Unlike me, you're brave enough to try to change things. "

"I'm no hero, Dad."

"You are to me."

"Well, you're one to me." Tears sprang to her eyes and she hugged him fiercely. "You didn't take the easy way out. You had to pretend to be something you weren't, and you did it because you were trying to protect me and Mom."

"You and your mother are the only things that kept me going all this time," he said, his voice breaking. "And now they stole her from me, just as surely as if they'd taken her to one of their facilities."

They stood quietly for a few moments, hugging each other, and when Joshua spoke again, his voice was soft.

"I failed you and your mother, and I'm sorry for it. I thought I was doing what was best, what would keep you safest, but look what happened."

"That's not your fault. It's Magnum's," Dara responded fiercely.

"I can't tell you how difficult it is to look at you and know that I can't protect you any longer. I want to tell you not to do it, that it's not safe. I'm terrified for you. But I know this is what you have to do." His eyes filled with tears as he spoke, and he stroked a gentle hand over her head.

"It is," she confirmed, her own eyes tearing.

"Then I'll do whatever I can to support you, no matter what. I mean it, Dara. I've wasted far too many years being passive. "

Reluctantly, she nodded. Just as he was setting her free to do what she needed, she had to let him do what his heart told him was right.

The com line rang, and she glanced over at it. "That's Letizia."

"Go," he said. She gave him another quick, fierce hug before she hurried off to Letizia's.

Letizia was agitated when she let Dara in. "I should be happy. Things have worked out precisely the way I'd hoped and planned."

"Congratulations. Let's break out the champagne," Dara said sarcastically. "So what did the esteemed Andersen have to say to you?"

"I've received a promotion and additional privileges," Letizia replied in a flat voice. "I now have thirty staff reporting to me, which means I'll have far less time to keep an eye on Andersen."

"Then I'll keep an eye on him."

"What?" Letizia went deathly still, her eyes opening so wide they looked like they'd fall out of her head. The color drained from her face.

"I'm going to be his assistant. Who better to keep an eye on him?" Dara kept her voice calm, trying not to reveal her alarm at Letizia's reaction.

"Dara, no." Letizia began pacing, tugging her hands through her hair. "No, you don't want to do that. Trust me. Andersen is... No, it's too risky."

"Why don't you let me make that decision for myself?" Dara snapped.

Letizia stopped, looking Dara directly in the eyes, surprising her with an anguished expression. "All this time, I wanted to keep you safe because I knew Andersen had the power to destroy you. But now that you're his assistant, you'll be under his constant scrutiny. I've just pushed you from the frying pan straight into the fire."

Dara's face hardened. "What can he do to destroy me? I've already lost almost everything that means anything to me."

"There are things you don't know, things none of us is meant to know. Things I know only because of Mal and the free thinkers. If Andersen begins to suspect you, if he reports you to his superiors, they can make you disappear."

Though Dara's stomach twisted in fear, she refused to acknowledge it. "I can't go on like this, Letizia, and you know it. I'm no longer one of them. What else do you suggest I do?"

Letizia began pacing again. "I didn't want this. I swear to you, this was not my intention."

"I know that," Dara said, placing a hand on Letizia's arm, trying to still her. "This is my choice, and you can't stop me. If you won't help, I'll figure out some other way to get a message to Mal."

Throwing her hands up in the air, Letizia let out a groan of frustration. "Fine, you're right. I can't stop you, and I shouldn't try. But if something happens to you—"

"Don't you think I worry about something happening to you too?" Dara asked softly.

Deflated, Letizia blew out a breath. "All right. I'll send a message to Mal telling him you want to meet with him, but I'm coming with you."

"I'd appreciate you being there," Dara said sincerely.

"I want you to listen carefully to what Mal tells you," Letizia said. Dara had never heard her speak in such a ferocious tone. "Before you commit to anything, I want you to listen to him and make sure that you're prepared to deal with the consequences."

"I promise." Dara's voice was solemn, which seemed to placate Letizia.

"I'll let you know the details. I'll tell him it's an emergency, so hopefully he'll be able to get back to me quickly. But it could take a couple of days."

Dara didn't know if she could wait that long, but she nodded anyway.

Squeezing her eyes tightly shut, Letizia rubbed a hand over her forehead. "I'll do everything I can to help you, to prepare you, but you have to promise me you'll never let him catch you off guard."

"I do promise you that. I know this is a bad situation, but at least we have each other now. You don't have to do this on your own anymore."

Letizia gave her a pained smile. "I'd rather be on my own."

Chapter 40

As Letizia had warned, it took several days for the meeting to be arranged. At first, the delay surprised Dara, but as Letizia fed her the details of how they would slip from the domes, Dara realized just how difficult coordinating such a disappearance must be. Unlike Raj, Dara and Letizia couldn't simply walk through the thoroughfares in disguise, due to the risk of running into someone they knew.

Dara would get no sleep on the day of the meeting, but that was fine with her. She was too anxious to speak to Mal to even attempt to get any rest. Instead, she paced her living room for two hours after the end of her shift, waiting for the moment of her departure.

"Be safe," her father said in a hushed voice, hugging her tightly before she slipped through the door.

The thoroughfares bustled with activity, full of first shifters out enjoying an evening courtesy of privilege vouchers, or conducting their normal day-to-day business. Dara did her best to appear natural, walking at a normal brisk pace, her gaze fixed straight ahead of her purposefully.

To her relief, she made it to the rendezvous point without incident. She looked around cautiously before slipping into the utility hatch. If anyone saw her, they'd definitely find her behavior suspicious.

"No need for contingencies," Dara told Letizia.

Letizia exhaled and nodded. "Here's your uniform." She handed Dara the jumpsuit of a Core utility worker, and Dara quickly pulled it on over her normal clothing. It would be uncomfortably warm, but leaving her clothes somewhere was far too risky. If someone found them and scanned the ID tags, there would be questions that would prove difficult to answer.