CONTROLLING HER: 7 BOOKS COMPLETED BOX SET - (Adult Short Reads Romance Novel Stories Series): Contemporary Love Thriller, Suspense, Control & Erotic Menage ... Male Domination Novellas 1 2 3 4 5 6 7) (18 page)

I watched Claire walking away; I thought she was going to break out in a skip. I sat there, didn’t move. Wasn’t upset, wasn’t sad either, I was sure. Women weren’t hard to find. I was not about to lose all my power. I would gain it back one way or the other, Veronica? I guess her phone must be broken, and I called the house, no answering machine any more. Fuck her, I’d had my eye on something else anyhow. How had Claire felt like she had broken free of me? I didn’t know. I looked up the park, saw her in the distance, shook my head, got up, I had parked in the opposite direction.

I swung around just in time to hear the second thud. I heard the tires screeching against the asphalt, I saw Claire’s lifeless body as it landed on the ground, I ran for life. By the time I got to her, the driver had already reversed and made his way up Knutsford Boulevard I tried to catch the license plate number, it was gone. Only thing I had been sure about it was a white Honda civic. I looked at Claire, close to death, the crowd running towards us. I don’t know how I got to her first, I held her head in my hands, the back of it was soft, blood was everywhere, she looked at me, her last words where “Adam..” She died eyes open at twelve twenty seven p.m.

She didn’t have any identification, when the police showed I gave them her information, I went to the station, made a statement, described the car, explained my relation, gave them Adam’s number. I could only imagine the grief he’d have to suffer; I knew the grief he’d have to suffer with. I didn’t feel anything, I just had a crave for flesh beneath me. I went home, called Veronica, she wouldn’t answer, I was forced to my last resort, I was desperate.

I’d prayed for a heart of forgiveness, I think the lord does answer prayers, he made it easier for me to let go. Veronica’s poem her performance, I heard her poem for the first time and it didn’t sound the way I’d read any of her poems before, I could feel it; I could feel it in my bones as she spoke her words to me. I felt my soul reach out to her, I felt sorry for her, sorry for myself, sorry that I had no idea how I was going to let this go.

I’d kissed her, I don’t know what had come over me, I couldn’t say anything to her, couldn’t explain how her poem how her repentance made me feel. I had to show her, I knew a kiss would’ve worked. It worked. I couldn’t stop thinking about her. I went home to mom, laid in bed, resisted crying into my pillow. I was still a man.
Could I forgive her and still hold my dignity close to me?
No one knew what she’d done, I was grateful; we could both take it to our graves. I could wipe the slate clean and forget that I’d ever heard his voice or name. I could hold the best thing that ever happened to me in my arms again. I reminisced. Heard her voice, saw her tears, felt her genuinely asking for my forgiveness. I knew it before the sun rise Friday morning, I had forgiven her. 

I went to work, in a better mood than I’d been in for over a month. I took better shots, delivered better reports, wrote an amazing story about a couple who survived a burning house in St. Thomas. I went home, had dinner, felt like seeing Veronica. I called, asked if we could watch a movie, she wasn’t feeling well, I remembered her period was to come that day, that explains how emotional she got, maybe she should do all her poems when it was PMS time of the month. I offered to come over, we could always watch bootleg on the couch. I thought to myself, like old times. I was smiling all the way there.

I didn’t bother knocking; she didn’t move the spare key from its hiding place. I got in, she eased herself up off the couch

“That’s ok, you can lay down, I’ll get everything sorted out.”

I let her rest, went to the kitchen, microwaved the popcorn and set up the movie. She looked her usual self that meant it wasn’t one of those months where she’d have the vomiting. I was grateful for that too. She didn’t say much, she was usually quiet when she was in pain, didn’t make me feel bad that I couldn’t help her. I did all I could do, I put the comedy in and gently eased her head up sat down and rested her head in my lap. She was still my Veronica.

Half way through the movie, with me rubbing her belly she fell asleep. I picked her up, put her in bed. I stood there watching her peaceful face for a while, I looked at the bags under her eyes, how dark around them looked, she looked so fragile and broken. I kissed her forehead and didn’t get in bed and cuddled her as I wanted to. I couldn’t and shouldn’t. I called mom.

“Mom, you alrite?”

“Yes, Jonny, I’m okay, I’m okay. I’m always gonna be alright.”

“Cool, I’m not coming home tonight okay?”

“Everything’s alright with you?”

“Yes mom, I’m just going to spend the night at home.”

I thought about it, this hadn’t been my home in two months give or take a few days.

“Alright, make sure you use a condom!”

She was laughing, but I knew she was serious.

“Mommmm! It’s not that kind of night, she isn’t feeling well.”

“Whatever you say boy.”

I smiled, “Love you,”

“Love you too baby.”

I hung up, got a pillow and sheet from the linen closet and made my bed on the couch. The familiar smells made me fall asleep with a comfortable smile on my face.

I woke up early to a banging on the door. I seriously contemplated opening it up. I prayed it wasn’t him, I knew I’d never met him, but I’m sure if were ever face to face I would know it was him. I opened it slowly, was surprised to see Becky standing there, she didn’t look well; she looked surprised to see me as well.

“Where’s Veronica?” She walked in.

“Well morning to you too.”

“Good morning, where’s Ver?”

“She’s sleeping, what’s wrong?”

She didn’t answer me, she headed straight to the room, I followed her. I didn’t complain I knew they were best friends, I watched as she rocked Veronica from her sleep, dazed she slapped the arm away, then opened her eyes smiling, her smile dropped as soon as she saw Becky.

“What the fuck are you doing here?! Didn’t I say never be back?”

I was shocked out of my wits. What had I missed? I’d never seen this side of Veronica before; she got out of bed fast for a woman bleeding. I swore by the look on her face she was about to kill Becky and I didn’t know why. I wanted to know why. She got louder, screaming all manners of things. This could go the wrong way and fast. I eased closer into the room, she looked at me, looked at Becky and looked at me again before looking back at Becky. Becky was calm, calmer than I’d expected her to be; all I could catch was

“You lesbian slut!”

Wow! This was her best friend though. How could she be saying all these things? What had Becky done? What was so cruel?

“Ver, please listen!” She pleaded; Veronica wasn’t having any of it. She stormed out, went to the bathroom and didn’t come out.

“What happened?”

“Nothing.” Becky left sorrow in her eyes, she looked defeated I knew she’d just given up on their friendship. I had to admit, though the foul language didn’t appeal to me, but she sounded so cute cursing. Her brow knitted.

I went to the bathroom door. Knocked. Veronica yelled “Go away!” from the other side.

“It’s me, she gone” I heard her fumbling with the lock, she opened it, crying. She hugged me. I eased her away from me and looked into her eyes. ‘What happened?” I listened to her tell me how Becky had come onto her, I thought it so contradicting. She was so homophobic, and had a gay best friend. A lesbian one at that, this should’ve been obvious, Veronica would attract any gender.

“Veronica, come on, give the girl a break.”

“Jonny how can you say that!” She was getting upset all over again, I hushed her, hugged her. Let her go. I gave her some space and time to calm down. Hormones I thought. I went to the kitchen, to make some breakfast. She’d begged for my forgiveness maybe she needed to forgive Becky as well. I’ll convince her later. I stayed there all day; the entire time resisting the desire to kiss and fondle her. It felt good being home. I felt good knowing I could be around her and control myself. That’s something we’d have to work on, her self-control. I wasn’t coming back just yet.

Jonathan spent the night. I don’t know when I fell asleep. I don’t know if he’d slept beside me, but the pillow on the couch suggested otherwise. I sighed, even if I wasn’t aware of it, it would’ve been nice to know he’d held me throughout the night. He was in the kitchen making breakfast. I was trying to catch up on what I missed from the rest of the movie before he came back to chat it out. He always did that, if we were ever watching TV and we were watching a show he’d watched before, I’d lose interest by the middle because he’d ruined the end already.

He came back, handed me my plate, I got half a grape fruit, a banana and a bologna sandwich with lettuce and cheese and a glass of orange juice. He’d made himself two sandwiches had the other half of the grapefruit and a cup of fever grass. I’d drink my ginger tea later.

“I loved your poem; I can’t stop thinking about it.” I blushed; I don’t know why that poem had been delivered so strongly, it was so short compared to the other poets.

“Thanks”

“You should be more confident and do more of your poems, train yourself. You’re a powerful spoken word poet. Your poems will never be as good as they really could be unless you do what you did up on that stage.”

I sighed, maybe someday; I was ok with taking it one poem at a time one step at a time.

“Maybe,” I looked away as he began talking about how I should forgive Becky.

“I don’t mean to bring this up, but look how I’m trying to forgive you, trying to understand that he gave you something that I wouldn’t try and put yourself in her shoes.” He had a point, my hairs prickled every time I thought about the way she looked at me, could I trust her?

I second guessed it, Becky had seen me in less clothes, and she didn’t make a move then. I probably shouldn’t have reacted the way I did. Maybe I should reach out to her. Maybe she had been weak to her desires like I was. I would call her. Maybe we could go out like she’s always wanted and I’d try to forget this happened if she’d promise me not to ever bring it up. For now I was enjoying Jonathan’s company. I’d call Becky later.

Veronica had flat out rejected me, shamed me as if I were a dog. I couldn’t help myself, one person can try and try so hard and no more. If someone didn’t want to let you in, you could never force them. I accepted it, went home. Thought about a patient I had named Garry, he was gay, his family didn’t know, he was role model, first high school graduate, first college graduate, a success strong from Tivoli, he’d grown up in that homophobic society, and was still gay. We couldn’t help ourselves. I shared it with him one day as he cried, that I was in fact gay, my family knew, disowned me, told him the closest family I had was Veronica, told him how I’d felt like I fell in love with her in the beginning but how I soon realize that the love I had for her was filial. He had become more like friend than like a patient. I drove straight to his house I didn’t know who to else to turn to.

When I got to Garry’s house, he wasn’t there. I didn’t want to be around any women, I thought of the next male I knew. Bill. I called him.

“Hi, this must be really awkward hearing from me.”

“Not really, what’s up?” he replied. Yea we really should be friends we had Veronica in common.

Well he had her, not me. Then I remembered seeing Jonathan at her house. Was she seeing both of them at the same time again?

“Nothing, feeling kinda down. Can’t go to Veronica.”

“Why? What happened? You heard from her?” that was strange...

“You haven’t been hearing from her?” he cleared his throat, seemed perturbed but played it off as nonchalance he was good at lying I could tell. A fellow bro I smiled to myself. I told him what happened. Told him how Veronica flipped. Told him that I had nobody to talk to, and he listened for what reason I don’t know.

I was on my way to the mall, getting some shopping done sounded up my alley. Clothes, pretty things, different things the smell of new, having something that belonged to me was good. Bill asked what I was doing,

“You sound like you’re in your car.”

“Yea I am.” I replied. He tried to change to topic from Veronica. I let him.

“Where you headed?”

“Just the mall, need to get some shopping done, a girl’s favourite pass time” I said sarcastically.

“Oh cool what mall?” I told him, he asked me to call him back later or so, I said sure and hung up as I pulled into the underground parking lot. It was going to be a long evening.

I bought six blouses, a dress for a girl I was linking and a watch I spent almost a total of forty grand.  I pulled my phone out as I headed down; I remembered I had to call Bill.

I’d been fucked up since Claire’s death. I’d been on edge; I’d wanted to beat an ass until it turned purple wanted to take virginity, an anal virginity. I needed release. I thought and thought and thought, again I considered Polly, and the famous back road. Couldn’t do it. Days passed since she’d died, I still hadn’t fuck, countless of women at work flirted with me. But I’d locked in on a target weeks ago. This one would be the real deal.

I knew exactly who I wanted. She never flirted. Wasn’t attracted to me, not that I knew of. Was always either professional with me or cordial whenever we communicated. We however rarely spoke. I have been watching her for a few days. She had no idea, more and more she’d become so attractive, maybe it was her skin. Before Claire died, before Veronica stopped taking my calls, I should’ve been fucking them more. Now all the tension was building up and baby oil and my palm wasn’t working.

This submissive would be different, I knew it. It’s different when you know they wanted it. I knew where she worked, that was easy of course, and then I followed her home from work one day. Of course she didn’t know the car; I thought my plan would’ve been hard, since she never left home. Just work and home sometimes out on a date. I knew that much, but no dates recently. Did she and her boo break up? I laughed to myself.

I took some photos one day when I realised how good she looked. Played around with Photoshop, put her face on the bodies of porn stars with her skin tone. Yes, I admitted to myself, I was now obsessed. I was hooked, I’d caved in on my desires long ago, and I realised this was something I didn’t know if I could live without.

I thought about it at work, while I was with T, on the road, in traffic, I’d slowly devised my plan. It had pieced together and I was about to take action.

***

She looked beautiful. I’d strung her up, we were in the house, I couldn’t have managed taking her to the loft. She was close to lifeless when I’d pulled her body from the rental truck. No one paid attention as I eased it into the drive way. Getting the drugs was easy, it would wear off soon. I had to get her saddled in and quick. I moved rapidly. I brought her in first and then the grocery. We were going to be here for a long time. I took a vacation off work; I was dedicated to this challenge. No matter how long it would take.