Convergence (66 page)

"Hello," Valiant Ro said as he just about materialized in front of me. "I'm glad to see you're back early. I hope that means you're through with qualifyin'."

"Yes, all three of us are," I agreed, gesturing toward Rion and Jowi, who were continuing on toward the dining room. "We got back a little while ago, and—But you're back as well. Does that mean you've also qualified?"

"Yep," he answered with a grin, actually looking proud. "Holter and I were first back, and both of us qualified at just about the same time. I don't know about him, but I owe my success to you. If you hadn't given me a good talkin' to, I probably never would have seen what I was doin' wrong."

"Were you doing something wrong?" I asked, feeling my cheeks heat again as I looked away from his very handsome smile. He smelled so good, as if he'd only just come back from the bath house, and the nearness of his big, hard body brought waves of warmth very much like my flames.

"What I was doin' wrong was
believin'
I could ever go back to my life the way it was," he replied, the words sad but not depressed and miserable. "It was the stubborn dream of a boy desperately lonely for the haven of his home and family, not the realization of a man that the time had come to make his own way in the world. But I understand that now, and wanted to thank you for helpin' me see it right. Most women just wouldn't have bothered."

He took my hand then and raised it to his lips, but his light, compelling gaze never left my face. I both saw and felt the slow, deliberate kiss reach my hand, and a shiver raced through me.
But not a shiver of fear, at least not entirely.

"I . . . really did nothing at all," I managed to get out, both wanting and not wanting to pull my hand back. "You were the one who—accomplished it all, and—and—so all congratulations should be yours."

"I would much prefer to share them with you," he murmured after finally ending that kiss. "But only if you don't mind. You're much too marvelous to be made to do anythin' you don't care to, especially now that your protector is goin' to be around for good. What kind of protector would I be, if I was the one you needed protectin' from?"

His
grin made me laugh
, bringing back my previous good mood with a rush. He was going to
be
here, just like the rest of us, and now
wanted
to be here as well. I hadn't thought it would happen, hadn't even hoped because hope never works, but now . . .

"May I have the honor of escortin' you in to lunch?" he asked, offering his arm the way Rion had with Jowi. "I'm starvin' and you're probably the same, but maybe later we can walk in the garden. It would be a real nice place to share thanks and congratulations."

"Yes, I'd like that," I said,
hesitating
only a heartbeat before taking his arm and joining him in walking toward the dining room. The beauty of the garden was usually ruined for me by awful memories, so perhaps it was time to reclaim it with some pleasant ones. That word, pleasant, so close to its other form, pleasure. Everyone said that was what was supposed to come from a man and a woman being together, not pain but pleasure. For the first time I found myself believing it might be true and real, as true and real as the strong, solid arm my hand rested on.

Maybe . . . later
...
I'd find out. . . .

thirty-six

Jowi enjoyed Rion's attentiveness during lunch, but she couldn't help noticing that Lorand hadn't gotten back yet. Valiant Ro sat in his place next to Tamrissa, speaking to her in a low voice that occasionally rose a bit in shared laughter. Tamma's cheeks seemed to have turned a permanent pink, but she obviously enjoyed the attention Valiant paid her. Jowi was happy for her, but—

But Lorand's absence was becoming more upsetting. Pagin Holter sat to Jowi's left, polite but so tightly withdrawn that she couldn't even consider trying to reach through to him. He had no intentions of sharing his disturbance with anyone at all, and he ate quickly before leaving with no more than a nod. Rion, on the other hand, was in a light and expansive mood, reveling in the memory of having come to the rescue of two women. His offer to her had been sincere and interesting as well as flattering, but not difficult to deflect. Rion was definitely becoming a very charming man, but he still lacked the experience to make refusing him difficult.

And none of that was able to distract her from the fact of Lorand's continued absence. Was he having trouble qualifying for the competitions? Well, that was a silly
thought,
of
course
he was having trouble. Jowi helped herself to a cherry tart and took a bite of it, but couldn't keep her mind from asking the much more pointed question she'd been trying to avoid: he was certainly having trouble, but would he be able to overcome it?

The answer to that lay out of reach, invisible along the path of the unsolidified future. Jowi finished the tart and then her tea, spoke lightly to Rion for another minute or two, then excused herself. She needed to be alone for a while, to balance the worry that threatened to ruin her entire equilibrium. And it was so silly! It wasn't as if she and Lorand were going to build a life together or anything. So why did the worry over him even distract her from the near disaster of Allestine's visit?

Jowi didn't know, but as she climbed the stairs to her room she thought again of how close she'd come to being right back under Allestine's hand. And with Tamrissa to keep her company! She wouldn't have minded having Tamma in her own residence here in Gan Garee, but wouldn't have wished even Beldara Lant the burden of having to work for Allestine. As long as you were obedient and popular with the clients, Allestine was all sweetness and smiles. But just try to balk her on something. . . .

As Jowi entered her room, she wondered if Eldra really had run away from the residence. She wouldn't put it past Allestine to use the story as an excuse to let her come to Gan Garee herself, most especially if she'd noticed that Jowi had taken most of her favorite outfits. That was probably the silliest thing she'd done, but there was no helping it now. Allestine was here and would be back, just as soon as she got over her fright, but—

But where was Lorand? Jowi discovered that she now stood with her hand on the door after closing it behind her, only two steps into the room. Obviously she was very badly in need of restoring her balance and equilibrium, when she wasn't even sitting down to worry. She had to find a comfortable place quickly and do what was necessary, so she started for the bed—

—and nearly tripped over something invisible halfway there! Running into whatever-it-was hadn't been painful, but it
had
almost sent her sprawling. Jowi spent a moment trying to see what it was, then gave up using her eyes and instead used her hands. Bending down and groping found her the invisible obstruction, and she ran her fingers over it.

"Neither warm nor cold, and soft but not really yielding," she muttered, at the same time distantly wondering where it could have come from. It hadn't been here this morning, when she'd gone down for breakfast before leaving for the session. It was rounded and about mid-thigh height on her, and stood directly in her path to or from her bed and the door. It also had no odor, and was very smooth to the touch.

Moving around the thing to the left brought Jowi's hands into contact with an opening, which turned out to be a hole in the circular object. As soon as she realized that the hole was large enough for her to climb into, Jowi went from mystified to
delighted
. As a child she'd had a favorite hiding place where she'd gone for refuge anytime life began to be too much for her, an old, discarded barrel that no one had ever claimed for a more practical use. Now here was almost the same exact shape, and just when she needed it so badly. But who could have done this for her, and how had they known?

And then it came to her what the invisible barrel must be made of, which told her who had produced it. It could hardly be anything but solidified air, and that meant the gift was from Rion. But how had he known she needed a refuge, and how had he found out about her childhood one? Those two questions didn't have answers at all, but Jowi was still grateful for the gift. Without wasting another moment, she bent and crawled inside.

By the time she came out again, her equilibrium was as restored as it was going to get. Possibly it was the fact that she could see out of her refuge through its invisible walls that had kept it from being wholly effective, or maybe she'd just been trying too hard. Jowi wasn't sure, but at least the time she'd spent curled up had done
some
good. She no longer felt like being cooped up in that room, which was always a step in the right direction.

Taking a book to keep her company, Jowi went downstairs and out the back door with the intention of sitting in the garden and reading. She'd gone no more than three steps up the path, though, when she saw Tamma and
Valiant
strolling through the garden. Tamma held to the big man's arm with more confidence than she'd shown yet, and the blush seemed to have finally faded from her cheeks. The two seemed delightfully involved with each other, and Jowi didn't have the heart to intrude and ruin the time for them.

So she turned back to the house with a sigh, resigned to finding an indoors place to read. Maybe the library, she mused as she retraced her steps to the front hall, with the door open enough so that new arrivals could be heard— Jowi stopped short in both her thinking and her walking, since the sound she now heard
was
the front door opening. Telling herself it could be anyone—like the other missing members of the residence—let Jowi walk rather than run the rest of the way, but it wasn't just anyone. It was Lorand who had just come in, and his face looked tired but not in the least defeated.

"You qualified, didn't you," Jowi said, bringing his immediate attention to where she stood. "It wasn't easy, but you did it."

"I certainly did," he answered, matching her smile as he took three steps in her direction. "I just threw caution to the winds, and it was no harder than jumping blind off the top of a cliff. I'll be glad to tell you all about it—as soon as I pay a visit to the bath house. If I come any closer to you before then, I'll probably knock you over."

He'd stopped after
coming
only those three steps nearer, and Jowi couldn't help laughing gently.

"I'm not quite as delicate as all that, but visiting the bath house is a good idea. Just be careful not to disturb Tamrissa and Valiant, who are currently walking in the garden. Try to get to the bath house without them seeing you, and put the 'occupied' sign on the door."

"I'll do just that, and I'll also be back before you know it," he promised, already edging toward the stairs. "Just don't disappear anywhere, because I want to talk to you. You don't mind not disappearing, do you?"

The afterthought was very sweet, and Jowi shook her head as she drifted toward the stairs herself. Once he had his answer, Lorand grinned, waved a silly little wave, then turned and went up the stairs two at a time. Jowi waited only until he was completely out of sight, then she raised her skirts and went up the stairs at her own best pace. There was no real reason to wait for Lorand-—when she could join him in the bath house.

Jowi broke records getting out of her clothes and into a wrap, and didn't even really notice that the invisible barrel was gone. She hurried downstairs and out to the back at top speed, then crept along the path to keep Tamma and Valiant from noticing her. Personally she didn't care
who
saw her, but Lorand was still sensitive about things like this. She'd have to work on him—
after
she showed him exactly what he was missing.

The "occupied" sign was on the door the way it was supposed to be, so she opened the door slowly and quietly and slipped inside. The warmth of the air quickly surrounded her, and she saw that she didn't have to worry about Lorand noticing her at once. He was already in the bath and scrubbing his long dark-blond hair with soap, and obviously hadn't heard her entering. She smiled at that as she moved to where he'd left his clothes,
then
slipped out of her wrap and slippers. He'd know she was there soon enough, and in the right way.

Moving down the steps into the bath had to be done slowly, and Jowi kept her eyes on Lorand as the water lapped higher and higher against her body. His broad, muscular form glistened with the same water, suds from his hair marking him here and there with sliding foam. As he finished scrubbing and began to rinse the soap away, Jowi paused in her approach. For some reason she suddenly felt very shy, as if she'd never shared a bath with a man before. She had, of course, many times, but only once before with
this
man and he hadn't enjoyed the experience. Would the same thing happen again? Or worse, would he be angry? Had she made a terrible mistake doing this?