Count on Me (Bayview Heights Trilogy) (15 page)

Well, damn, she thought as Dan walked away and the two adults left. What the hell had happened here?

o0o

ERICA STROLLED into the clinic at four o’clock, whistling. She’d completed her physics homework before she left school, so after she finished volunteering, she could spend all night on her English paper. She felt like a million bucks, and it had only taken one Bennie to give her the energy she needed. So far she’d kept her usage to a minimum, having researched on the Net the negative effects. She only had a few minor ones— dry mouth, an itchy scalp, some dizziness. And she hadn’t been sleeping well. Long-term effects could be severe—she could do without increased blood pressure, hallucinations and fidgetiness. But she had things under control. Any more side effects and she’d stop.

Mostly she was concerned about getting the damn pills. There was a little problem with that…

 I’m uppin’ the price
, Carl Pike had told her.

 Why? They’re exorbitant as it is.

Your daddy can afford it
.

Squelching the sinking feeling in her stomach, she knocked on the open door to Lansing’s office.

He glanced up from his desk, and the genuine smile he gave her made her heart hurt. Dr. Lansing’s daughter was a lucky girl. Erica wished her father would look at her like that just once—as if he was glad to see her, as if she didn’t have to do anything to earn his love.

“Have a good day?” Dr. Lansing asked, eying her carefully.

“Yep.”

He stared at her a long time, as if assessing her mood. “I’m surprised. Sometimes reentry’s hard.”

“Reentry?”

“Coming back from a weekend of intense camaraderie can be difficult.”

She smiled. “It was, sort of. I liked the debriefing in Life Issues class today, though.”

His smile slipped. Damn, she didn’t want to remind him about Ms. C. “Did the debriefing go well?” His voice had all the casualness of a bulldozer.

“It was fun, except for Bosco being there.”

Dr. Lansing tossed his pen to the desk and leaned back in his chair. It had been a kick seeing him in jeans and sweats all weekend when he was usually dressed like this, in pressed suits and starched shirts. “Oh, no, was this the day he came to observe?”

“Yep.”

“Poor Zoe.”

“She was cool. She always is.”

He sighed. “Good.”

Actually she wasn’t always cool. Erica remembered the time Ms. C had found out that Caufield’s Chicks had been to a bar in the city…

“Well, this makes me feel terrific.” There’d been sarcasm in Ms. Caufield’s voice, which was a rarity.

“What do you mean?” Erica had asked.

“What good have all my drug-and-alcohol-use lessons done if my best kids go out and do this?” She’d shaken her head. “I feel like a failure.”

“It isn’t your fault.”

“And, anyway, you’re underage. Think of what might happen if you were caught.”

“We weren’t driving,” Shondra had said defensively.

“It’s still illegal. All those fancy schools you ladies applied to would love something like this on your record.”

They’d said nothing. Ms. C had stormed out of the room then, saying, “I’m very disappointed in all of you…”

The Chicks still drank, but not as much, and mostly at Erica’s house.

“Erica? Are you all right?”

“Huh?”

He was leaning over his desk. “You zoned out.” Again his gaze narrowed. Jeez, he was a doctor. Could he tell she’d been taking Bennies? She usually tried to take them when he and Ms. C weren’t around, but today she’d needed one, and she didn’t think there were any visible symptoms of her use, anyway.
Distract him
, she told herself. “I was thinking about Ms. C and how neat she is, that’s all.”

Her answer seemed to satisfy him. He cleared his throat and fished some papers out of his in-box. “Here’s the drug order for last week. They came in this morning and Diane Diaz is going to unpack them today. I’d like you to help her check them against the order forms.”

She could hear the thump-thump of her heart pounding in her chest. “I get to handle drugs?”

“Ah, no, we’re not quite that liberal here. The drugs are Diane’s responsibility, but you can help her inventory them.”

“Oh.”

“It’s nothing personal, Erica. Bosco’s on the town council, too. He’d love to see us allow students to handle drugs. Then he’d have a reason to close us down.”

“So why do I even do this?”

“You should have some experience with ordering controlled substances.” He smiled. “Besides, it’s a tedious job that has to be done.”

“And I’m a peon.”

Apparently he caught her teasing tone. “You got it, girl.” She never would have joked with him before the weekend. Nor he with her. It made her heart swell and scared her at the same time. She didn’t want to like him

“Then I’ll go don my serf’s dress and get to work.”

Lansing laughed. She was halfway out the door when he said, “Erica?”

She pivoted. “Uh-huh?”

“I enjoyed getting to know you better this weekend.”

Her throat tight, she said, “Me, too.”

He looked as if she’d given him a gift. “Thanks” He coughed nervously again. “Now go make sure my drugs are in order.”

When she got out to the hall, she glanced down at the sheet. Her heart stopped.

At the top of the list, under A, was amphetamines.

o0o

SHONDRA SIGHED HEAVILY Tuesday night as she cleaned the coffeepot in the waiting area of the clinic.

“Crummy job, huh?” she heard from behind her. Turning, she found John Battaglia in the entryway. He’d just come from outside, and his jet-black hair was wind-whipped, his dark eyes smiling. Damned if he didn’t look like a tall Andy Garcia.

“No, it’s not that.” She smiled back. “What are you doing here? You don’t work tonight.”

“I came to Bayview to see Alexandra’s preschool play, and while I was in town, I thought I’d pick up a book I left here.”

Reaching into a cupboard, she drew out a heavy text. “Endocrinology.” She rolled her eyes. “Even the books in med school are weighty.”

He took it from her. “You’ll know soon enough. Heard from Harvard yet?”

“December fifteenth is early-decision notification.”

“You don’t look happy about that.” He cocked his head. “What’s wrong? You were sighing like an old lady when I came in.”

“Parent problems. Immature stuff to you, probably.”

His face sobered. “No way. My life was on a fast track to nowhere because of my ‘rents.” He smiled, but it was not a happy look. “If it hadn’t been for Cassie, I’d be lying in a gutter somewhere now.”

“What happened with your parents?”

John dropped onto a vinyl chair and stretched his long legs out in front of him. As always he wore black jeans, tonight with a gray T-shirt under his battered bomber jacket. “My dad died when I was ten. He was a Vietnam vet and was not a good father. My mother was ineffective, to say the least.” His face darkened. God, he was cute, even when he was sad. “If it hadn’t been for Cassie, then Mitch—” here he smiled brilliantly “—I’d never be where I am today.” He shuddered. “Sometimes I still have nightmares about it.”

“That’s a nice story about Ms. Lansing and her husband.”

“So, you neglected, too?”

She rolled her eyes. “Just the opposite. My mother’s on my back all the time about my grades, how I act,
everything
.” She shook her head. “She says I have to set an example, you know, because I’m black.”

“No kidding?”

She laughed at his reaction; most people shied away from talk about race. “And she won’t let me do anything that interferes with schoolwork. She told me I couldn’t go to Down to Earth this weekend, but I went anyway.”

“She get pissed off?”

“Big time.” Shondra scowled. “You know, I never defied her before. It was like she didn’t know what to do when I said I was going—so she ended up signing the permission form in a state of shock. Now she’s not talking to me, though.”

“Was it worth it?”

“Yep. We had a blast.”

“I heard Kurt almost fell. Cassie got really upset when she was telling me about it.”

“He was so cool, so blasé about it.”

“I’ll bet Zoe almost freaked when she saw it.”

Shondra scowled. “They’re not dating anymore.”

Johnny stood. “Yeah, I know. Well, I gotta split. I still need to do a couple of hours of studying tonight.” He watched her. “Want some advice?”

“Uh-huh?”

“Work it out with your ma. Mine’s in Florida now, living with her sister. She drove me nuts in high school, but I miss her.”

“Thanks. I’ll try.”

“Oh, and Shondra?”

“Yeah?”

He nodded to Kurt’s office. “Go easy on the doctor. He’s a great guy. Relationships, you know, between men and women—they’re funny. Full of ups and downs. People hurt each other all the time, and it’s nobody’s fault.”

“You speaking from experience, Romeo?”

“Me? Nah. I’m too busy with school.” He winked at her and headed out the door.

She sighed heavily again, staring after him. Only this time, it had nothing to do with her mother.

o0o

ASHLEY GRABBED the colorful brochure from the stacks in Dr. Johnson’s office reception area and ducked into the hallway. She’d waited until almost everyone was gone. Leaning up against the wall, she put on her glasses and read the front of the leaflet, “All about Abortion.” She hadn’t been able to do what Evan wanted, and last night he’d literally screamed at her to get her ass in gear.

Swallowing the bile in her throat, she promised herself again, as she had in the middle of the night, to deal with this pregnancy thing first, then to make a decision about her relationship with Evan.

He wasn’t the man she thought he was.

Slowly she opened the brochure. Her eyes devoured the print until she came upon what she wanted. “NY State law requires no parental notification/approval of abortion for minors.”

She could do it, and no one would be the wiser.

 Except God. And yourself.

For a moment she leaned her forehead against the wall and moaned. It was cool against her cheek. Oh, Lord, how had she gotten into this?

“Ashley? Is that you?”

She stuffed the brochure into her pocketbook and looked up into Dr Lansing’s face. “Um, yeah.”

“What are you doing here? It’s late.” He came closer. “Are you all right?”

Suddenly it was all too much. The secrecy. The shame. The fact that she hated what she was going to do. She opened her mouth to speak when her stomach lurched. Oh, no, not again.

She dropped her purse and bolted for the bathroom. The door slammed shut and she made it to the toilet just in time.

She was violently ill.

Wishing Dr. Lansing would just disappear, she washed out her mouth, threw water on her face and headed out to find her purse.

He was holding it in one hand. In the other hand was the brochure. His eyes were kind as he asked, “How far along are you, Ashley?”

o0o

KURT PULLED some tissues out of the box on the low table in front of his couch and handed them to the girl next to him. Her emotional distress was heart-wrenching.

“Cry it out, Ashley,” he’d said as he helped her to his office. So far she’d done nothing but; it wasn’t easy to watch, but he knew such a catharsis was the best antidote to her despair.

“I’m sorry. It’s just that nobody else...I don’t have anybody...just Rachel, and she’s so mad at Evan...”

Sympathetically Kurt nodded.

When Ashley quieted she told him, “I’m two months pregnant.”

He glanced at her purse. “And you’re considering an abortion.”

“Evan says I have no choice.”

 Ah, the plot thickens
. “And what do you think?”

“Ms. Caufield says there’s always a choice.”

“You probably know that’s true.”

The girl slapped her hands on her pink jeans. She looked ludicrously young in them and the matching blouse she wore. “I’m so confused. I don’t know what to do.”

“Then you should take your time in deciding.”

“Evan says I gotta do it soon, before it’s too late.”

 Be neutral
. “An early abortion is safer than one in the second trimester.”

“I just never expected him to be so
mad
, you know, like it’s my fault. Like
I
did something wrong.”

“That should tell you something about him, Ashley.”

“I don’t like to think about that.”

“Denial won’t make it any different.”

“You don’t understand.”

“Then tell me.”

“Evan’s the first real boyfriend I’ve ever had. He’s the only...” She broke off, flushing furiously.

“The only boy you’ve ever been with.”
The bastard
. Though he’d learned long ago to remain objective, Kurt allowed himself to feel anger at the irresponsible boy.

“I’ll deal with our relationship afterward. First I gotta deal with
this
.”

“Aren’t they related?”

“How?”

“If you decide to have the baby, you should consider the state of your relationship with its father.”

The phone rang and Kurt ignored it. Elizabeth had called earlier and sounded as if she’d been drinking, so he didn’t want to talk to her, especially in front of Ashley.

“You can answer that.”

“No, it’s my private line. I’ll get it later.” He glanced at the clock behind her as he heard a woman’s voice on the machine.

Ashley lay her head back against the couch and said, “Do you think it’s a sin?”

“What?”

“Abortion.”

“As a doctor, I think it’s a right all women should have. As a man, I think I might feel differently if it was my child.” He gave her a small smile. “How about you? Why don’t you tell me your beliefs, and we’ll see if that helps you figure this all out.”

“Okay.” She checked the clock. “I was supposed to call Evan for a ride.”

“We won’t worry about Evan now.”

“Why are you being so nice to me?” she asked. “I’ve been rotten to you.”

Again he smiled. The child in all these kids peeped out regularly. “I like you, Ashley, and I’m here to help. Let’s put the past behind us.”