Count on Me (Bayview Heights Trilogy) (17 page)

“That would be great.” She checked the clock, too. “I’m meeting Zoe and Cassie for pizza in an hour. But Seth will be home with the boys.”

“Then I’ll stop by.”

“Go inside. Josh asks for you all the time.” She grinned. “You’re his hero, after the appendix thing.”

“It’s nice to be liked.”

“What’s wrong?” Lacey asked softly. “Is it Zoe?”

He started to deny it. But Lacey was a friend and he cared about her, didn’t want to be dishonest with her. “Yes.”

“It must be hard working with her.”

 You don’t know the half of it
. “It is.” He could still see her face when she’d recovered enough from their lovemaking to remember what was between them.

Lacey waited a minute. “Can I ask you a question?”

“Of course.”

“Would you get back with her if you could, Kurt?”

“In a heartbeat.” He scowled. “I know you and Cass would hate that. I don’t blame you.”

“No, I wouldn’t hate it. But I
am
worried about Zoe. She was overwrought last year when you split.”

He remembered Cassie’s indictment.
She cried for days. She missed school. You know what a Pollyanna she’s always been. But she was depressed for a long time, and so sad it broke my heart.

“It’s not going to happen, anyway, Lace. She’s made that clear.”

Lacey stood. Surprising him, she circled the desk, leaned over and gave him big hug. “I’m sorry. I wish I could help.”

He let himself take comfort in Zoe’s words. “You’re helping a lot with the clinic.” He indicated the letter. “I’ll get right on this.”

With a squeeze of his hand, Lacey turned and left. Kurt sat in the shadowy early-evening light and watched her go. She and Seth had had a devil of a time getting together. Just like Mitch and Cassie. He shook his head. Maybe…

 Don’t think about it.

He didn’t, at least while he was writing the rebuttal. But when he finished, inactivity gave way to uncontrolled thoughts. And now he had more recent memories—vivid and in 3-D—with which to torture himself.

Weary, he got up and, on his way to the couch, remembered he should lock his private-entrance door. Security in clinics these days was crucial, especially at night, because of the drugs they housed. Once he was safe and sound, he crossed to the sofa and stretched out. He hadn’t been sleeping again. For a while his insomnia had abated. Now, since Down to Earth, he was mired in the vicious cycle of watching the red numbers flip over on the digital clock. He was more exhausted than he’d been in the days of his internship and residency.

He rubbed his eyes tiredly. Had he been wrong to make love to Zoe? His fingers flexed. How could anything so wonderful be wrong? She’d felt like silk and tasted like honey under his hands and mouth. Her scent—sexy and womanly—had lingered with him for hours. Her response had been unbridled. She’d been as frantic, as desperate, as he. If nothing else, those few fleeting moments on his couch had shown him she still cared. She still loved him.

It was the aftermath that haunted his waking hours…

 I can’t forget about it...I’m afraid...I don’t trust you...you gave up all rights to make decisions in this relationship when you slept with Elizabeth...

He sighed and opened his eyes in the dim office. A tree limb beat a soft pat-pat on the building, creating an ominous accompaniment to his thoughts. Frustrated beyond measure at the turn of events, he rolled off the couch.

And as he’d done all week, he went to work.

He might not be able to salvage his relationship with Zoe, but he’d be damned if he’d let anybody sabotage his clinic.

 It’s all you have, buddy.

o0o

“YOU LOOK AS BAD as Kurt,” Lacey told Zoe, who sat across from her and Cassie at their favorite place, the Spaghetti Warehouse.

Her mouth full of pizza, Cassie scowled. After she swallowed, she asked, “What’s wrong with Kurt? Is he sick?”

Lacey shook her head. “No, he just hasn’t been sleeping.”

“Problems at the clinic?”

Silently Zoe listened as Lacey told them about Bosco’s letter.

“How did Bosco find out about all that?” Cassie asked.

“Kurt’s advertising the clinic’s services.”

“What a jerk!” Cassie’s words were vehement.

Lacey reached out and squeezed Cassie’s hand. “Cass, Kurt’s doing his best. The kids need to know what the clinic’s about.”

Sheepishly Cassie glanced at Zoe. “I didn’t mean Kurt. I meant Bosco.”

Zoe took a bite of pizza and chewed, gathering her scattered thoughts. Finally she suggested, “Can we change the subject? What time do you need me next weekend to watch the kids while you and Mitch go on your romantic getaway?”

“In a minute,” Cassie said, surprising them. “I wanna say something about Kurt.”

Please, God, not another onslaught. Zoe couldn’t handle listening to Cassie’s list of grievances against him today. Not after last night.

“I think I was wrong about him.” Cassie’s face was somber. “I’m not sure you shouldn’t give him another chance.”

Zoe sputtered soda all over her plate and shirt. “
What?
”

“I’ve changed my mind about him.”

Wiping up, Zoe asked, “What brought this on?”

“When he was living with us, we talked. A lot. He got up with Camille several times during the night and gave her a bottle so I could sleep. Even when I got to her first, he was usually awake. We ended up sharing some things.”

Oh, no, this was the last thing Zoe needed now. “Cass, I know you mean well, but I’m not letting him back into my life.”

 Hypocrite
. He couldn’t get more into her life than last night.

“He’s sorry for what he did. He’s changed.” She shrugged. “He made a mistake.”

Zoe felt anger rise inside her. “Cassie, this wasn’t a matter of his not calling one night or forgetting my birthday. He left me for his ex-wife; he
slept
with her while he and I were still together, and he broke my heart. I won’t give him a chance to hurt me again.” She drew in a breath. “I won’t risk it.”

Cassie frowned.

“What’s life without a little risk, honey?” Lacey asked.

“I can’t believe this. Two months ago, I was telling both of you to ease up on him. Now he’s a saint.” She slid out of the booth. “I don’t want to talk about it anymore. I’m going to the ladies’ room. Change the subject, and when I come back, let’s enjoy our meal.” She stomped away.

In the restroom, she threw water on her face and watched her reflection in the mirror. The feel of Kurt’s muscles bunching under her hands, the image of him driving into her with a passion she’d never known from him, made her shiver right there in the small bathroom.

It was hard to regret that time on his couch. Hard to wish it away. She’d never been happier in the past fourteen months than she was for those few stolen moments in his arms.

Which didn’t change a thing. It just made the whole situation harder. Because one truth remained. She couldn’t trust Kurt Lansing.

o0o

MITCH DRAGGED OPEN his front door, a look of weary exasperation on his face. His hair was askew and the sleeve of his dress shirt sported some odd-looking stain. Against one shoulder cuddled a tiny bundle of pink, enthusiastically sucking her thumb. Clinging to his dress-pant leg was a three-foot imp who immediately hurled herself at Kurt.

“Boy, am I glad to see you, buddy.” Mitch gave him a baleful look.

“Girls keeping you busy?” Kurt asked.

“They behave for Cassie, but I don’t stand a chance with them.” Mitch stepped aside. “Come in.
Please
, come in.”

With Alexandra in his arms, Kurt entered the foyer laughing. “All right.”

“What are you doing way out here? Not that I’m complaining.”

“I had to drop something off at the Taylors’.” He focused on the baby. “Isn’t it past Camille’s bedtime?”

“Every time I put her down she screams.”

“Mommy says Daddy’s a cream puff,” Alexandra mumbled into Kurt’s shoulder. The little girl rubbed her eyes and yawned; she was ready for bed in her yellow footed pajamas, and she smelled like bubble bath. “She says he picks
her
up too much.”

“Harrumph.” He ruffled Alexandra’s auburn hair, which was now down to her waist. “All those street punks would be shocked to hear that your daddy’s such a pushover.” They made their way into the great room, which was strewn with toys, blankets and other paraphernalia. Kurt asked Alexandra, “Did a tornado come through here?”

“Yep,” Mitch answered, dropping into a rocker. “And its name starts with
A
.”

“My name starts with
A
. Johnny taught me.”

Kurt knew Alexandra thought Johnny hung the moon; Johnny, in turn, spoiled the little girl shamelessly.

Mitch’s smile was profound. “I know, sweetheart,” he said. He looked at Kurt helplessly. “If Camille’s up, Alexandra won’t go to sleep.”

“Camille’s not up.” He nodded at the now-sleeping infant.

Alexandra studied Mitch and Camille, reminding Kurt of Cassie’s intense scrutiny. “But she’s not in bed,” the toddler said matter-of-factly. Oh, Lord, Mitch had his work cut out for him with this one.

Kurt sank onto the couch, Alexandra on his lap. “But she
is
asleep. Want me to put you to bed, honey?” he asked her.

“Daddy promised me a story.” Her blue-gray gaze narrowed on her father. “I want
him
.”

“After Camille’s bottle,” Mitch said tiredly.

“I’ll feed Camille,” Kurt offered. “Get me her bottle and you take this one upstairs.”

“You’re a lifesaver, bro.”

After a hug from Alexandra, Kurt settled in the rocker with Camille and the bottle. She’d awakened to eat and was staring at him with big eyes the color of Mitch’s. And of his.

She sucked vigorously and patted the bottle with chubby little hands. “There you go, darlin’,” he crooned softly. He smoothed back the tuft of dark hair curling on her head. “You’re gonna be a beauty, you know that?”

She smiled around the nipple and Kurt’s heart turned over. He loved these kids. Hell, he loved kids in general. He’d always wanted another child and had hoped he and Zoe—

He froze at the thought.

His heartbeat speeded up.

Baby...baby...
baby!
He stopped rocking. Camille fussed, and he automatically started to rock again. She quieted with the motion.

In sequence Kurt pictured the night before: they’d torn each other’s clothes off, stumbled to the couch and made love there—without using any protection. Caught up in the emotional drama of the night, it hadn’t once entered his mind that Zoe could have gotten pregnant. Could
be
pregnant.

He was still reeling with the possibility when Mitch came back down fifteen minutes later, but he tried not to show it. After all, it was only one time. Many people tried for years to conceive. What were the chances?

His brother stood in the doorway, watching him. “You know, when you guys had Lauren, I used to envy you so much I couldn’t stand it.”

“I never knew that.”

Mitch crossed to them and smoothed a hand down Camille’s hair. “I know. I never told you. Hell, I didn’t admit it to myself until I met Cass.” He surveyed the mess in the brand-new house and shook his head. “And now I have all this. Sometimes I can’t believe it, you know?”

Despite his state of mind, Kurt smiled. “You deserve it.” Easing the bottle from Camille’s lips, he set it down, then cuddled her to his shoulder and rubbed her back. “You’re a lucky guy.”

“Don’t I know it.” Mitch gave the messy floor and the couch another sideways glance, then, as if deciding the litter was too much to handle, sat on the leather recliner and stretched out. “What about my baby brother? How’s he doing?”

Holding Camille close, Kurt frowned. “I’m okay.”

“You look like hell. I thought you were sleeping better.”

“I was.”

“It’s Zoe, isn’t it?”

He nodded. “Things keep throwing us together.”

 Especially last night.

“Kismet.”

“Think so?” He kissed Camille’s head. “You told me to stay away from her.”

“I don’t like what this is doing to either one of you.”

Kurt remembered Zoe’s anger and bitter words last night. “She’s finally angry at me.”

“Well, maybe that’s good.” Mitch sighed. “You’ll never get past this if she buries it.”

Silence.

“Something else happen? Besides the Down to Earth weekend and the clinic stuff?”

Kurt shook his head. “No. Nothing I want to talk about, anyway.”

“Maybe you should look for somebody new, Kurt.” He nodded to Camille. “Have your own little bundle of joy.”

Camille stirred and let out a shriek. “Oh, God, what’s that?” Kurt rocked again and patted her back.

“It’s the ‘Banshee wail.’ She does it from a sound sleep. Scared the life out of Cassie and me the first few times.”

Laughing, Kurt stood up to walk her. Could Zoe possibly be pregnant with his own “little bundle of joy,” who’d have her own Banshee wail? As the one in his arms screamed her head off, he wondered if he could ever be so lucky.

o0o

AT FOUR O’CLOCK on Friday afternoon, Zoe surreptitiously studied Kurt over the folder she was perusing. His dove-gray suit fit him better, but the signs of fatigue she hadn’t seen in a while were back. And he looked sad.

Exactly how she felt. Making love had unearthed too many memories, which kept coming to the surface. “Julia’s review is great,” she said.

“She’s a good kid. Louise says she’s very perceptive and would make an excellent therapist.”

“She wants to be the next Julia Roberts.”

“Plans change.” Kurt shrugged. From across the table, his green eyes bored into hers. “People change.”

“Yes,” Zoe said pointedly. “I’m well aware of that.”

“Are we going to talk about it?”

“What?”

“The elephant in the room with us.”

That made her smile, albeit reluctantly. “No, we’re going to ignore it.”

“I can’t stop thinking about what happened between us.”

“Don’t.” She picked up another folder. “How about Dan?”