Count on Me (Bayview Heights Trilogy) (21 page)

She listened to his even breathing, inhaling his unique scent, until she yearned so much for him that she had to move. She slipped out from his grasp, tiptoed to the bathroom and closed the door.

A few moments later, her heart breaking, she fished in the overnight case she’d left on the vanity earlier for a tampon. As she stared at herself in the mirror afterward, tears streamed down her cheeks. “You idiot,” she said. “So you got your period. So what? It’s for the best.”

Backing up, she leaned against the wall. Slowly she slid into a slouch on the floor and buried her face in her hands.

o0o

KURT AWOKE BY DEGREES in the guest room of his brother's house. Eyes closed, he reached for Zoe, but she was gone. He sat halfway up and scanned the room; he noted the pretty peach walls and white wicker furniture that Zoe had helped Cassie pick out. Last night had been too dark to see the decor.

Last night, when he’d carried a sleeping Zoe in here and couldn’t resist the temptation to join her on the bed. He’d held her all night while she’d snuggled up to him as she used to do.

Where was she? Easing out of bed, he headed to the adjoining bathroom; when he opened the door, he was shocked to find her huddled on the floor, her head down.

“Zoe, what’s wrong?”

She didn’t look up.

“Sweetheart, are you ill?”

Still nothing. He dropped to his knees and pried her face up from her hands. She was crying, soft silent tears. “What’s wrong?”

She just shook her head.

“Is it because I slept with you? I’m sorry, baby, I just couldn’t resist.” He shrugged helplessly.

“It’s not that.” Her gaze strayed to the counter. He followed it and saw the tampon box sitting there.

“Oh.” His heart plummeted. For a second. Then he realized the significance of her tears.

Sitting down, he propped himself against the wall, stretched out his legs and tugged her onto his lap. She resisted, marginally, but then went into his arms. He held her close. “You’re crying because you got your period.”

Vehemently she shook her head.

“Yes, love, you are.”

“I’m tired...”

He said nothing.

“The girls were sick...I was worried.”

Still he made no comment.

“It’s been a hard few months...”

His hand drew circles on her back, soothed down her hair. He kissed the top of her head. “You know in your heart it’s none of those things.”

After a long time, she drew back. “All right. It’s just a temporary aberration.”

He pinned her with an intense stare. “No, Zoe, I won’t let you kid yourself about this anymore.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean that we belong together. And you know it. You’d hoped, maybe unconsciously, that the decision would be made for us, that we’d be forced together by a pregnancy, but that’s not going to happen. You’re going to have to make a conscious choice to try again.”

She straightened. “I won’t.” She bit her lip. “I can’t.”

“Yes, you can.” He stared hard at her, praying he said the right thing. “I’m asking outright for another chance with you. I know I hurt you. Let me make up for what I did. Let me prove our relationship can work.”

Fear filled her eyes. “I’m too scared.”

“I won’t accept that answer. Not anymore. I’ve let you call the shots because of my guilt. I’m not going to let that go on any longer.”

Her face was full of questions.

“I want another chance, and I’m not giving up until I get it.” Easing her off his lap, he stood and pulled her to her feet. “Now let’s go check on the girls, cook you breakfast and we’ll talk about this some more.”

He held out his hand.

Her gaze dropped to it, then back up.

“Zoe,” he said, his voice a little desperate.

Finally, she placed her hand in his.

CHAPTER TEN

AS HE DROVE to the Bayview Heights Administration Building at nine o’clock the following Monday night, Kurt was not happy. Irritable from lack of sleep, he struggled for calm. Thinking about the upcoming meeting—instigated by Bosco—made him crazy, and thinking about Zoe didn’t exactly help.

Sunday morning had not turned out as he’d hoped...

She’d taken his hand and accompanied him to the kitchen, but over coffee, she patiently explained why she couldn’t risk starting a relationship with him again.

Just as patiently, he’d coaxed, cajoled and even got angry. “Tell me one thing. Why didn’t you fight for me a year ago?”

“Fight for you?” The color had rushed to her cheeks. “You mean, beg you to stay, not go back to Elizabeth?”

“No, I mean try to talk me out of it. I’ve wondered. You let me go fairly easily.”

“You jerk! If you thought for one minute I’d grovel...”

He’d swallowed hard. “I never wanted you to grovel. But you might have been able to talk some sense into me. I was making the biggest mistake of my life. I’ve wished a thousand times you’d talked me out of it.”

For a long time, she’d been silent, then her face crumpled and the comment seemed to slip out. “I’ve wished that sometimes, too. It was pride, I guess. Along with shock.”

“Then don’t let that pride get in the way now, love.”

“It has nothing to do with pride now. It’s fear.”

“Then don’t let fear keep us apart.”

After a long day of discussion in between playing with the now-healthy Lansing girls, she’d finally agreed to give them another chance—with lots of conditions. He’d followed her home after Mitch and Cassie’s return, and they’d stood inside the foyer.

“So, how do we do this?” he’d asked, his heart thudding wildly in his chest, his hands itching to touch her.

“Slowly.” Her voice was quiet. “And very carefully. I’m not diving back into this relationship without caution.”

“I guess that means I’m not staying overnight.”

“No, you’re not.” She frowned. “We’ll date. And we’ll keep it to ourselves.”

“I’m not hiding this from anybody, Zoe.”

“I wouldn’t ask you to. But we don’t need to take out an ad in the
Herald
, either.” She raised an eyebrow. “Take it or leave it.”

He’d grabbed her then and kissed the challenge off her face. “I’ll take it.”

He hadn’t seen or talked to her since.

Frustrated, he parked and met Seth on the way into the building.

“Hi, buddy.” Seth clapped him warmly on the back. “You looked pissed off.”

“I am.”

Seth shook his head. “I’m sorry about this,” he told Kurt. “We should be grateful to you for opening a clinic here, not questioning your ethics.”

“It’s not just Bosco. But come on, let’s go slay this dragon first.” He’d take care of his five-foot one later.

They were the last to enter the room. Around the conference table was assembled a wide cast of characters. His gaze zeroed in on Zoe first. The deep pink of her very proper suit highlighted her cheeks, and her eyes were snapping fire. She wasn’t happy, either. He wondered if it was just the situation with Bosco, or if she was upset with him, too.

She nodded at him, smiled at Seth and faced Joe Finn. First the superintendent asked everyone to introduce themselves and explain who they were. Bosco preened with self-importance, the mayor sat cozily between two other board members asked to attend, but the people that really snagged his attention were Mr. and Mrs. Emerson. Ashley’s father—a small stocky man—introduced them both and held his wife’s hand tightly. Their faces were lined with pain. Kurt thought about Lauren and how he’d feel if he’d been the father in such a situation.

Joe Finn began the discussion. “Both the town council and the school board have some concern over the events of this past week. We need to get the facts straight and listen to everyone’s version of what happened. But for the record—” he held up a folder “—I have the ER report that Ashley Emerson did indeed have a miscarriage, not an induced abortion.”

Bosco sat forward and frowned. “She would have had an abortion if the miscarriage hadn’t happened.”

Mr. Emerson’s face reddened and his wife turned her cheek into his chest. Damn Bosco.

“Jerry, speculation isn’t going to help us.” Finn’s tone was barely controlled. “Why don’t you tell us your concern?”

“The clinic and the course Ms. Caufield teaches encourage immorality among our kids.” He held up a thick bound book Kurt recognized as Zoe’s curriculum. “There’s a whole section in this course outline on tough choices kids have to make. It deals with having sex, birth control, abortion, and gays and lesbians coming out, for God’s sake. It’s no wonder that young girl ended up pregnant and pursuing an abortion. Our school encourages it.”

Seth threw his pen on the table. “We do not, Jerry. We discuss it.” He shook his head. “Forty-five percent of all teens report being sexually active. Do you really think
not
talking to kids about these things will make them
not
do them?”

“Talking about them is tacit approval.”

“No, it’s not.” This from Zoe. She slid a newspaper article toward him. “Read this. It’s a survey done in upstate New York recently. The kids in it said they want to talk to adults about their relationships with the opposite sex. My course and all the other health courses encourage kids to discuss the pressures and problems they’re confronted with every day. Our lessons help them deal better with everything and make informed choices that are right for them personally.”

“Oh, Ashley Emerson dealt well with her situation, didn’t she? She
told
you she was considering an abortion.” His scornful gaze swung to Kurt. “And you were going to help her get it, if not do it yourself.”

“The clinic doesn’t perform abortions,” Kurt said tightly.

“But you counsel kids about them.”

Angry at Bosco’s shortsightedness, Kurt leaned over in his chair. “Planned Parenthood offers many forms of counseling—all over the country, I might add. For heaven’s sake, Bosco, that organization is an institution in America. It’s funded by the United Way. Even your narrow-minded views won’t get rid of it.”

“Thank God,” Zoe said.

Joe Finn shook his head. “Mr. Bosco wants the clinic closed. And he wants the health courses dropped,” Finn said, glancing at Bosco disgustedly. “As we’ve won national awards for our innovative health program, I’m not of a mind to alter anything. And New York State mandates that certain things, including AIDS education, be taught in our schools. So he can’t get rid of that. Of course, he won’t be able to run Planned Parenthood out of town, either. The question we needed to ask is did the school’s Life Issues course and the new teen clinic do anything to give the board or the council grounds to investigate further?”

Zoe shot Kurt an I-can’t-believe-this look.

Seth frowned.

“Excuse me,” Kurt said, “but this sounds like a witch hunt.”

Finn sighed. “I have no choice but to address Mr. Bosco’s complaints.”

“I think they should be addressed. Zoe and I have nothing to hide. I’m just shocked by this backward attitude.”

Bosco straightened to an impressive height. “You should have advised Ashley to tell her parents.”

“We did.” Kurt’s voice was implacable.

“Innumerable times,” Zoe added. “She refused. Ashley can confirm that.”

“Yet you hid the girl’s pregnancy and intent to have an abortion from her parents.”

Kurt felt the anger rise inside him, but tamped it down. “It’s legal for minors to get contraceptives and abortions without their parents’ consent.”

“But it’s not moral.”

Zoe slapped her hand on the table. “And who appointed you the moral watchdog of Bayview Heights, Jerry?”

“I was elected to the board and the council by the citizens of this community.”

“Not to decide right and wrong for them.”

“I want a board vote on this issue.” Bosco’s tone was firm.

“No!” All heads snapped around to Mr. Emerson. Ashley’s father looked determined. “I want to say something.”

The superintendent nodded encouragingly. “Go ahead, Mr. Emerson.”

The man turned to Kurt. “Ashley finally talked to us about this. She said she didn’t tell us she was pregnant because she was ashamed and didn’t want to disappoint us.” He slid his arm around his wife. “Isn’t that right, Susie?”

Mrs. Emerson nodded. “She also said...” Tears clouded the woman’s eyes. “She said that if Dr. Lansing hadn’t guessed she was pregnant and convinced her to tell Ms. Caufield, she wasn’t sure what she would have done.”

“She might have told
you
,” Bosco interrupted. “She might have had that child and taken responsibility for her actions, instead of finding an easy way out.”

Mrs. Emerson drew up in her seat and faced Bosco, a mama bear defending her cubs. “No, Mr. Bosco, she told us she was thinking about committing suicide. But she said the two adults she confided in helped her to see alternatives.” Again the woman’s eyes teared. “She says she doesn’t know if she would have gone through with an abortion, but she
does
know she didn’t harm herself because of Dr. Lansing’s and Ms. Caufield’s support.”

“They should have told you, her parents.”

Mr. Emerson sighed. “I’m not as smart as my Ashley, and I don’t have a college degree like you, Mr. Bosco, but even I can figure out that if they told us, the next student at the school who faced the same problems wouldn’t have told
them
.” She nodded at Kurt and Zoe. “And she might do what Ashley thought about doing—hurting herself.” His voice broke on the last words. He faced Kurt, then Zoe. “I don’t know why my little girl couldn’t tell us, but I’m damn glad she could tell you two.”

Kurt’s heart broke for the parents. “Mr. Emerson, I have a daughter a year older than Ashley. She might not have told me, either. Sometimes kids can’t share things with their parents that they
can
share with teachers.” He gave them an easy smile. “We’re all in this together.”

“Then I thank God for teachers and doctors like you.”

Kurt breathed a sigh of relief.

Across the table he caught Zoe’s eye. She gave him a meaningful smile.

He returned it.

o0o

AT HER CONDO DOOR, Zoe watched Kurt park in her driveway and walk up the front path. His shoulders slumped with weariness, and she knew his face would be lined—with fatigue and anger. She still knew him so well.