Counting Stars (A Donnelley Brother's Novel) (18 page)

The relief that surged
through me was immense. I hadn’t realized how nervous I’d been
until this moment. Looking down in my lap, I noticed that even my
hands were shaking. It was no wonder Logan was so determined to do
anything but go to bed.

My voice was low when I
spoke. “I’m sorry for being this way.”

He frowned as he settled
himself across from me on the sleeping bag. “What are you talking
about, Reese?”

“I’m making you
uncomfortable.” I picked at my pinky nail. “I don’t mean to.”

“You’re not making me
uncomfortable. I’m trying to make you comfortable.”

I offered him a tense
smile. “I suppose I’m just nervous, is all.”

“Why are you nervous?” I
watched as he dealt the deck in half.

“You’re sleeping bag is
wet.” I stated dumbly.

He shrugged and I
watched the skin between his eyes crinkle in the formations of a
frown. “Why would that make you nervous?”

I felt my eyes grow
wide. “Well, you need a blanket and now I’m the only one who has
one. I figured we’d be sharing it.”

His eyes settled on my
face as understanding flooded into their depths. Had he really not
processed this already? “I already told you, Reese, that I wouldn’t
push you into something you’re not comfortable with. I’ll be fine
without a blanket for the night.”

“Oh,”

He looked down at the
cards. “You good with war?”

“I haven’t played that
since I was little.” I picked up my cards. “I love this game.”

“It’s easy to play in a
small space.” Logan stated, laying down his first card.

Nine games and three
hours later, it was late. The sky was now completely black and I
had a feeling we should turn off our little lamp soon. The rain was
still pelting the tarp over the tent and every drop echoed in the
intimate space. Thunder continued to roll through the sky and every
now and again lightning would flash, lighting up the tent
brightly.

“I think we should
probably call it a night.” I said with a yawn.

“You finished getting
your butt kicked, city girl?” Logan teased.

I narrowed my gaze on
him. “You’re cheating.”

“I don’t think so.”

“Then why would you
refuse to let me deal?” I asked, pushing attitude into my tone.

“Because the winner
deals.” He shrugged. “And you’ve lost every game.”

“You’re cheating.” I
stuck to my guns.

“You’re a sore
loser.”

Scrunching my nose, I
passed him my cards. “Well, I’ll just have to kick your butt
tomorrow then. But for now, I’m tired.”

He chuckled. “Alright,
alright, I’ll put the cards away.”

“Damn right you will.” I
winked.

Logan shook his head at
me as he stretched over to his pack. Dropping the cards inside, he
glanced back at me. “Get yourself comfortable before I turn out the
light.”

Looking down at my
sleeping bag and then at the cold plastic of the tent floor, I
spoke. “You can share my sleeping bag with me, Logan.”

I watched as he tensed.
Every taut muscle in his body wound tight and his eyes darkened to
an impossible shade of ebony. “I’ll be fine, Reese. You don’t need
to share with me.”

Lifting my chin
determinedly, I spoke. “I want to.”

“Why?”

“Because I have a soul.”
I tried to joke. “I don’t want you getting cold.”

He didn’t even crack a
smile. Instead, he nodded. “Are you sure?”

“Positive.” I replied
breathlessly. My heart was beating so fast right now I could have
sworn it was near to ripping from my chest.

“Alright,” he waved his
hand. “Scoot over. I want the side with the zipper.”

“Why?” I asked.

“Because it’ll be warmer
on the side without the zipper.” He explained gruffly and I fought
the shiver threatening to claim my entire body. “I don’t want you
to get cold in the night.”

“Okay,” I didn’t bother
explaining that his body heat would keep me nice and toasty.

Slowly, I lowered myself
into the sleeping bag. My head was beside the lamp and my body was
beside the packs. As I placed my head on the pillow, I tried to
coax my wildly beating pulse into submission. I failed miserably as
soon as Logan moved.

I couldn’t close my eyes
as he moved over my body to pull back the sleeping bag. Instead, I
watched his every move as though my eyes were glued to him. I was
so nervous I was shaking. I hadn’t lain beside a man apart from
Derek. I had expected this to feel wrong—but it didn’t. No,
instead, this felt very right.

Logan lowered himself
into the sleeping bag beside me and I felt his legs press against
mine. It was a really tight fit, but I didn’t mind. I actually
liked feeling him against me. I liked the racing of my heart and
the quivering of my body and the feeling of fluttering in my
stomach. They were all reminders that I was alive. My body was
still alive.

“Are you alright?” Logan
asked huskily. “I can still sleep over there, Reese. Just say the
word.”

“No,” I spoke softly,
looking up at him where he was leaning on his elbow. “I want you to
stay here.”

A trembling breath
sounded from between his lips as he reached over me to flick off
the light, flooding us in darkness. The sound of nerves on his
breath was enough to set my insides to flame.

Logan was nervous—from
being so close to me?

“Logan?” I whispered his
name when he didn’t move away from where he was leaning over me
after turning off the light. I could feel his heat against my body,
warming every inch of my flesh.

“Sorry,” he started to
push himself away, but I reached out to catch his shoulder. As soon
as I made contact with his skin, he froze. My name on his lips was
a tortured sound. “Reese,”

“I,” I stuttered.
Slowly, unsteadily, I moved my fingers from his shoulder to the
back of his neck. “I want,”

“What?” He asked when I
paused. “Tell me what you want, Reese, and I’ll give it to you.
Anything you want.”

His words gave me
courage. “I want you to kiss me.”

I heard his sharp intake
of breath as his hand came down on the side of my head to hold
himself up over my body. “Are you sure?”

“Yes,” I whispered my
plea, pulling down on his neck. “Please.”

And then he lowered his
lips to mine. I was right in guessing that Logan, as rough as the
man was, would kiss with carnal fever. His mouth covered mine and
fire surged through my veins. His lips were hot and determined
against mine—as though he was drinking me in. He kissed me with
passion that was both grounding and unearthly.

As his lips moved
against mine, he invaded every crevice of my mind. His scent, his
taste, the feel of his skin so close to mine, captured me. Without
taking a moment to consider my actions or their repercussions, I
opened my mouth. His tongue swept over my swollen lower lip before
he sucked it into his mouth, between his lips, between his teeth.
He bit gently, but sharply. I gasped into his mouth as he slipped
his tongue inside mine. He kissed me as I had never been kissed
before—with possessive abandon.

My tongue rolled with
his as he explored my mouth, and I explored his. His taste was
unlike anything I had ever experienced before. Addictive. I felt
spellbound and lost in him and I wanted more. I wanted him close to
me, over me, pressing his body into mine. I wanted to feel him.

Sliding my hand between
his shoulder blades, I tried to encourage him silently to lower
himself onto me. Every inch of my flesh craved him—ached for him. I
needed him.

Logan pulled his lips
from mine, but he wasted no time in pressing them against my jaw,
down my throat, and across my chest. Closing my eyes, I sighed as I
arched my back, desperate to feel him.

He traced the length of
my collarbone with the tip of his tongue and I moaned at the
sensations flooding through my body. “Logan,”

“Hmm,” he grunted. “You
taste so good, baby.”

“I want,” I moaned a
frustrated sound as his mouth covered mine. I felt him smile
through his kiss.

“Tell me what you want.”
His command echoed in my mouth, vibrating through my entity down to
the very core of my being.

“You.” The word was a
whisper against his lips, but it was world changing. “Only
you.”

Logan
stiffened above me and when he spoke, his voice was hoarse.
“Reese,”

The uncertainty in his
voice was nearly enough to shatter the remnants of my heart.
Finally, I had found someone, a soul I wanted to be with after
losing the only man I ever thought I could possibly feel this way
for—and I had frightened him too deeply to want me the same way in
return.

“Please don’t, Logan.” I
pleaded. Tracing the edges of his face with my fingertips, I stared
into his eyes with the little light seeping into the tent. “Please
don’t fight this.”

“I don’t want you to do
this in the heat of the moment.” He ground the words between his
teeth. “When you decide that you want this, I want it to be because
it’s right.”

“I want this.” I
promised. “I need it. You.”

His eyes fluttered
closed and he breathed in deep through his nose. I knew his resolve
against me weakened and the idea that I would soon be with him was
enough to make my body quiver against his.

He spoke, his voice low
and gravelly. Strained. “Tell me again.”

“Tell you what?”

“Tell me that you want
me. Tell me you need me.”

“I want you, Logan.” I
ran the tip of my nose along the line of his jaw. “I need you.”

He groaned. Catching my
chin in his hand he forced me to meet his eyes. “Why?”

My heart raced. “Because
you make me feel alive again.”

“Fuck,” he breathed the
word on a strangled breath. “I want you, Reese.”

“Then take me.” I
pleaded, feeling desperate for him in a way I hadn’t felt in so
long. My entire body was on fire, burning with a need for this
strong man.

“I want to.” He dropped
his forehead against mine and tears sprang to my eyes at the
rejection I feared from him. The first time I had put myself out
there since Derek, and I was being rejected? Seriously?

“But?” I croaked.

“But I don’t just want
you this one time, Reese.” Logan pushed my hair away from my face
and when he shifted, I felt the hard length of his desire against
the side of my leg. “If I have you now, then that’s it, you’ll be
mine.”

I gasped. “Logan,”

“Can you handle that,
Reese?” He demanded gruffly. His eyes were staring so deep into
mine I could have sworn the man was looking right into my soul.
“Tell me you’ll be mine, Reese, and I’ll give you everything you
want. Everything you need.”

“It’s only been a week.”
I blinked, feeling so deeply exposed to this man. “I don’t
know.”

Pain flashed in his eyes
as he pressed his lips to my forehead. “Then I’ll wait until you
know, Reese.”

I tried desperately to
hold my tears inside as Logan moved away from me. Lowering himself
next to me on his side, his hand snaked around my stomach to pull
me closer to him. Inside my chest, I felt as though there was an
army of samurai warriors attacking my heart—their swords piercing
the organ without an ounce of remorse.

Trying to hide my tears,
I turned my back to him. Logan sighed as he curved his large body
around mine, pulling me tight into his chest. He spoke. “I care
about you, Reese. I just want to be more to you than one night of
desire. I want to be more than a mistake—or the first one after
him. I want to be everything you need—now and tomorrow and even the
day after.”

The tears streaming down
my face were hot and determined. I knew he could feel the trembling
of my pain, but I couldn’t hide it when he was so close. As he
pressed his lips to my bare shoulder, a sob escaped from deep
within.