Courage in the Kiss (5 page)

The sun shone onto Hadley, waking her the next morning. She let out a soft moan as she tried to sit up, and her head began to spin.

“Bugger,” she cursed, as she held her head and sat up against the headboard. She closed her eyes for a second. When she opened them again, Maxx was sitting on the side of her bed, holding a damp cloth to her head. “Can’t you stop the room from spinning?” she begged.

Maxx smiled as he pulled the cloth away. “Sorry, no can do,” he apologised.

Hadley pulled his hand back to her head, enjoying the proximity and the coolness of the cloth. It was the only real, logical thing in the world, right now. Because, God knew, this sweet, gentle, loving Maxx couldn’t be real.

Maybe it wasn’t a migraine. Maybe she’d had some sort of food poisoning or used the wrong kind of mushroom in this week’s soup. That might explain why everything was upside down.

What if this entire week wasn’t even real?

Hadley almost wanted it to be true. Emerson’s offer, Maxx acting how he was acting...Maxx even being home...none of it would be real. None of it would have happened yet, and she might be able to change it all.

“Hadley…” Maxx said after a few minutes, pulling her back to the moment and the sad realisation that this
was
real. “Why do we always have to fight?” His voice was soft and calm as he looked in her eyes.

What she wouldn’t have given for him to look at her like that just a few days ago, before everything got so complicated. But today? Today, she couldn’t even handle her own thoughts and emotions, never mind Maxx’s.

“Please, Maxx,” she pleaded, leaning forward to touch his hand. “Not now. I can’t.” She let out another soft moan of complaint, as she held her hand to her head. “Oh God.” She sighed, as she turned on her side and lay her head on the bed, her back to him. “Everything’s spinning. It’s moving so fast.” She cried, tears falling silently, as Maxx ran his hand over her hair.

“Hadley,” his voice was almost pleading, “there’s nothing I can do. The doctor just said you had a migraine and had fainted. I…I don’t know what else to do,” he said, as she turned onto her other side and held his hand in hers.

She closed her eyes and continued to cry.

It was a full two hours later when the world stopped dead. Hadley opened her eyes and saw that Maxx was still sitting with her, gently playing with her hair. Sitting up, she offered him a smile.

“Thank you for staying with me. I think it was just a really bad migraine.” She apologised for his worry, now able to see sense.

Maxx nodded without commenting and stayed quiet for a long time.

Hadley couldn’t help but wonder if he regretted staying with her, looking after her, letting her see his softer side. Was it all one giant mistake, because he thought she was too sick to remember?

“What will you do, if you leave?” Maxx asked, as though there was still a chance that she might stay.

She wanted to smack some sense into him, but didn’t bother. She took a deep breath and thought about his question properly. What
would
she do with herself?

“Maybe go to school,” she admitted, since she’d never been to a proper school. As soon as Emerson took her in, she’d been home schooled, along with Maxx. Micah got the special treatment and went to a public school. By the time Maxx went off to college, or work, she’d already spent a few years working for Emerson.

He’d never insisted on it, but she felt indebted to him. There had been no one else to take her in, after her parents died, and Emerson only did it because her father was the son of one of his old, long dead friends. He insisted that it was his duty to care for her as his own child, but she’d never been able to accept charity. Not even from Emerson.

“I might go to art school. Finally,” Hadley decided, since that was something that had always interested her.

Maxx scoffed and she looked up sharply, ready to tell him to shove off, if he was going to degrade her dreams. “You don’t need art school. You could probably sell your work the way it is, to some big collector in New York,” he claimed with a faint smile.

She blushed, as she realised he was paying her a compliment. But it didn’t change anything. It was too little, too late, and it wasn’t as if his kindness meant anything. “I could volunteer at the local museum. They’re always looking for help and it would be something to put on a CV,” she admitted, thoughtfully. “Then, once I’ve saved up enough, I can try to repay your father for being so kind to me.”

“You intend to pay him back? For the last twenty years? Why? You don’t owe him anything,” Maxx argued, as though she was wrong to feel the way she did. Well, he could take his father’s money and everything Emerson had built at work, to use as his own, but she wouldn’t.

“I owe him everything,” Hadley corrected him.

Maxx went quiet for a moment, with a look that said he was reluctantly accepting that she might be right, but that he didn’t have to like it. “How would you like to have a paid job, right away?” he offered, out of the blue.

“Working for you or your father’s company?” Hadley guessed, shocked that he would even consider it. What the hell was he thinking?

“Yes. I’m desperately in need of a PA. I’m sure you’d do quite well in the position,” he claimed, with a faint hint of a smile.

She guessed there was a deeper meaning there, but she was too tired and too drained from her migraine to understand it. And she was too pissed at his presumption, to cater to his selfish whim. “So, I leave this house, where I’m stifled and held prisoner, working for your family, so that I can work for you, to be stifled and held prisoner, working for your family? Gee, what a great idea,” she mocked him, as she got up and headed for the door.

Maxx caught her wrist before she could touch the handle. “That’s not what I meant.”

“No, you meant that it would solve your problems and give me an excuse to get out of this house. That’s not what I want,” she argued, ready to start a screaming match if he kept this up. She didn’t know what he was playing at, but this constant back and forth was making her dizzy.

“You’re so damned stubborn!” he bit out, letting go of her in anger.

Hadley was in no mood to take it. “I wonder where I get that from!”

“You’re infuriating. I can’t even talk to you,” Maxx complained, bypassing her and grabbing the door handle. He stormed out, leaving her feeling weak and frustrated.

She put her hand to her head and realised how royally she’d just fucked up. Why couldn’t she keep her mouth shut? He was just beginning to show affection for her, even if it was mild and not the kind she wanted. He’d opened up, to actually talk to her like a human being, and she’d gone on the defensive.

Letting out an aggravated groan, she fought back the tears and tried to compose herself. Why did she always sabotage herself?

It was pointless.

She cried freely, in the comfort of her own room, holding her head in her hands. She was so fed up with crying all the time, and half the time not knowing why. This time was obvious.

She hated her life. She hated loving Maxx. She hated that she couldn’t hate Maxx. She hated that anything she did, for someone else, was always wrong. She hated that she had no friends and no family. She hated that her parents were dead. She hated never feeling good enough for anyone.

She forced herself to stop.

Hadley spotted the painting of her and Conway sitting on the dressing table. She crossed to it and thought about the lies and deception behind it. Distraught, she threw it across the room, only just missing Maxx as he walked in.

“Fucking hell, Had. You could have killed me!” Maxx shouted at her as he stepped into the room and picked up the painting. The frame was slightly bashed from the impact but otherwise unharmed. “Why are you throwing shit at me?”

“I don’t ever want to see that thing again!” Hadley shouted unsteadily, as she sank onto the window seat.

“Okay…” he commented, hesitantly. He sighed, crossing to her and putting the painting back onto the dressing table. “I’m sorry. I put this in here, when you were sleeping off your migraine. I figured it might cheer you up,” he apologised, once again being far too kind and considerate.

Hadley couldn’t take much more of it. He’d never been like this before, and she didn’t see why he had to start now.

“I came back to apologise. I got as far as the stairs, when I realised how shitty you must be feeling. So it’s understandable that maybe I made my offer at the wrong time,” he said in understanding. “I hope you’re not crying over our fight. What’s wrong?” he asked, sitting beside her to touch her hair.

“Everything.” The tears forced their way free. “I can’t do anything right,” she continued as she tried to wipe the tears away, to no avail.

“Come here.” Maxx pulled her close, running his hand over her hair. “It’ll be alright…you’ll see. Everything will fix itself with a little time,” he soothed.

Hadley knew it was all lies, but she hadn’t the strength to argue as she cried into his shoulder. Then she realised he wasn’t Micah. He had no reason to hold her close and soothe her tears. He didn’t even like her.

She took a deep breath and pulled away, finally able to realise he genuinely cared about her. In what way, she didn’t know; she just hoped it wasn’t as a sister.

Smiling so warmly, Maxx ran his thumb over her cheek, brushing away the tears and putting her totally at ease. “Well, we know one thing,” he said, fondly. “You’re a
very
emotional person,” he teased, brushing aside the hair from her face.

Hadley realised that she should probably be worried about how awful she looked and how embarrassing this was, to fall apart in front of Maxx. But the look in his eyes showed her that she didn’t have to worry.

Suddenly, Maxx leaned forward and kissed her, delicately brushing his lips against hers.

For a full moment, she froze, from shock. Then she reacted from instinct. Hadley touched his face as she responded, teasing him with a lingering kiss. It was even better than she’d imagined, with soft lips touching hers and the comfortable weight of Maxx’s hand slipping into her hair to hold her close.

“Hadley, are you alright?” Micah asked, stepping inside the room.

Maxx broke away, as though shocked away from her by a bolt of electricity. He stared at her, wide eyed, before looking away.

When Hadley looked Micah’s way, she caught the flush of his neck and knew that he was as hopeful as she was that this could mean something. He didn’t even bother apologising; he just high-tailed it and left.

Maxx ran a hand through his hair, as Micah retreated silently.

She didn’t know what that meant, but he was so quiet that it unnerved her. She didn’t know what he was thinking or what he might do, now that his feelings had been exposed.

Hadley looked up at Maxx and smiled, her hand moving to his face. Touching his chin lightly, she turned him to look at her. As they locked eyes, he pulled her into another affectionate kiss, full of love and passion. He demanded access, teasing her lips apart, as his fingers wound into her hair.

Hadley had no thought of denying him. She opened her mouth against his and moaned softly as his tongue took full advantage. It was even more electric than before; demanding, passionate, and all the things that she had never expected it to be. For all that she loved Maxx and always had, his professional, business demeanour always made her believe that he’d be the same in a relationship.

She was so glad she’d been wrong.

A hand cupped her neck, before slowly trailing down the curve of her body to the bottom of her skirt. Maxx groaned into their heated kiss, as their tongues tangled in need, his hand smoothly sliding up her leg and beneath her skirt.

He pulled away from the kiss; from her. Maxx got to his feet and began pacing, rubbing the back of his neck.

Hadley felt disorientated, suddenly left stranded in the midst of such heat and fire. She’d never been kissed like that in her life, and it was over far too soon. “Maxx…what’s wrong?” she asked, breathlessly.

He glanced her way and opened his mouth to say something, then hesitated. “I…we…” He sighed and walked to the door. When he turned back, his cold shield had come down around him again. “You better start getting ready for tonight,” he finished, as he shut the door behind him.

Hadley sat there, shocked and confused, her hand trembling as she lifted it to her head. Was he brushing her off? Or was he simply trying to avoid awkward and confusing conversation by making a hasty retreat?

She shook her head, as she stood and crossed to the wardrobe. Quietly thinking about the warmth of Maxx’s kisses and his touch, she moved to pull out the outfit she’d already decided on. She hesitated when something caught her eye and pulled out another hanger instead. She looked over her new option and smiled, laying it on her bed.

Fine. If Maxx was going to flip from burning hot to frigid cold, then she’d give him something to set his cold heart ablaze.

Now that she knew he was attracted to her, she would do everything she could to convince him that she was worth his time. She wanted more than a moment of indiscretion, a smouldering kiss in private before being discarded and treated like a servant.

She deserved that much.