Courting Mrs. McCarthy (18 page)

Megan offered her thoughts. “It was certainly a shock to us, but the damage that’s been done was not your doing. You don’t deserve this kind of attention, and what your aunt did was not what I’d consider an appropriate response to the situation.”

Nathan felt an urge to defend his aunt, possibly out of what family loyalty he still felt to a woman who had served a maternal role toward him for the past year. Despite what she’d done, he found it had to harbor feelings of resentment toward her. He had lied to her on multiple occasions and the overreaction was unfortunate but not unforgivable.

Griffin, who tried everything he could to keep his friend’s mind off the issues at hand, dominated the rest of the dinner conversation. Nathan could hardly blame his spacing out on his friend’s fashion talk, but his thoughts were predominated by images of his father. Wondering what Jerome would say to him provided an escape from thoughts about Jackie, but that wasn’t a great tradeoff.

He declined Griffin’s offer to get stoned in the backyard after dinner. The feeling of being watched had not gone away and he wasn’t quite ready to numb his emotions just yet. This made him think of some pot he’d kept in a drawer that he figured his aunt had found by now in an effort to dig up more information on Jackie.

It was only nine-thirty when Nathan retired to the guest bedroom. He had left his phone off for most of the day so he wouldn’t be distracted by text messages or Facebook notifications by his peers, who offered notes of praise for his action. He turned it back on as it was his only way of reaching Jackie.

The texts and messages were fairly predictable. His friend Ralph had sent him a simple thumbs up, while another message read:

U da man playa.

He shuddered at the thought that so many people now knew about his private business, but summer gossip wasn’t usually this juicy.

There was one text that bothered him greatly. He hadn’t thought much about Sarah over the past day, but she had taken time to contact him to share an opinion on the matter, one that was far more developed than the rest he’d received.

Now I see who you’ve been with Nathan. You are a sick human being. I hope the cougar was worth the demise of your reputation.

Sarah’s mean message would not have normally affected him, but Nathan felt uneasy by her cruelty, especially since it was very expensive to send a text all the way from Prague. He pulled the covers over his head while wondering when people would figure out something else to do with their lives. He didn’t respond to a single one of his peers’ efforts to contact him.

He was upset, but not surprised that Jackie hadn’t texted or called him. If a voicemail from Steve put her in such an upset state, he could only imagine the pain she was suffering. Despite Griffin’s efforts to explain that this wasn’t his fault, he still felt guilty. Though there was a certain sense of guilt that stemmed from his inability to comfort her with eighties’ comedies and Earl Grey tea.

Jackie was in pain, so Nathan allowed himself the night to wallow in his sorrow over the loss of his woman and his inability to ease her suffering. Nathan wasn’t much for self-pity, but it felt like the only logical reaction to his what he was currently going through. Knowing the next day would bring on suffering of his own, he slowly drifted off to sleep.

Chapter 24

The five seconds after he woke up were the most blissful he’d experienced since his time with Jackie—not a slight on his sexual inexperience. Because he was half-asleep, his mind still foggy, he wasn’t thinking of the fact the entire town saw him as some sort of teenage Casanova. He was brought back to reality with the knowledge that he’d soon be facing his father.

He had a voicemail from him that said he’d be waiting for him at the local coffee shop when Nathan was ready. It ended with Jerome asking that he not be later than ten, which showed his father’s usual cold heartedness that had come to define his shallow personality. Nathan buried himself in his pillow to try and forget what he needed to do.

Griffin was the only one home when he went downstairs to make himself some coffee. He was dressed up as he usually looked when he was going to work. Though Griffin didn’t drink coffee, he’d put a cup for his friend in his family’s Keurig maker and pressed the button as soon as he heard Nathan’s footsteps.

“Good morning, buddy, would you like me to make you some breakfast?” he asked with a forced smile on his face. “I can make waffles or Pop Tarts.”

Nathan grabbed the coffee. “No, I’m meeting Jerome soon.” Holding up the cup, he said, “I appreciate the caffeine boost, though.”

“You sure you don’t want me to go with you? Or we could smoke a little joint before you face him. I don’t think that would affect me too much at work,” he said in a rapid-fire stream of consciousness effort that came across more comical than helpful. Which wasn’t the worst thing for Nathan who was trying hard not to be nervous.

“No, no that’s fine. Go to work and I’ll deal with Jerome. I don’t think he’d look too kindly on me bringing along a friend anyway. Wouldn’t exactly help the situation.” He took a long sip of his scalding black coffee. The bitterness and the heat were a fine precursor to what was to come.

Griffin looked somewhat relieved. He was not exactly the biggest fan of Jerome either. “In that case, I’d better be off to work then. Let me know how it goes if you survive. Good luck.” He departed.

Nathan gulped down the rest of his coffee and went back upstairs to brush his teeth. His father was likely doing work in the coffee shop, which gave Nathan the opportunity to face his fate as soon as he liked. When he was as ready as he could’ve possibly been, he headed for his car.

The last time he’d crossed paths with Jerome had been fairly uneventful. It was the previous Christmas, when Jerome exhibited social behavior similar to his uncle Martin and sat on the couch watching TV and drinking scotch. If Nathan didn’t know that Cassidy was Jerome’s sister, he might have suspected Martin was the true blood relative of his father. While the behavior had not become the norm for the Thompson household at the time, Nathan might not have even noticed Jerome’s presence if his aunt hadn’t made some foolish attempts to spark conversation.

The two hadn’t spent much time together over the years. Nathan had continued to sleep at the Thompsons’ home rather than Jerome’s for he had not invited his son to sleep over. The true fault for this could be placed on Aunt Cassidy, who had not suggested the idea as neither Jerome nor Nathan could be expected to make such an effort to spend time with one another. He had only stayed for two days, most of which was spent either on the phone with clients, or in front of the TV.

The thing that really bothered Nathan was the gift that his father had given him for Christmas. In addition to an exorbitant check for three thousand dollars, Jerome gave him a Manchester United t-shirt that not only didn’t fit, but also looked like it came straight from the airport gift shop. He didn’t really consider himself in much of a position to complain after receiving such a large check, but Nathan didn’t feel like a little sincerity was too much to ask.

As he parked his car in the lot behind the coffee shop, he stopped for a minute to consider the possible routes the conversation could take. The options were seemingly endless, mostly because Nathan had never found himself in such a situation with his old man. He could not think of a single time when he’d been disciplined by Jerome, and the more he thought about it, he couldn’t think of a time when Jerome had exerted any sort of opinion about a choice he’d made.

Now, the teen angst was natural. His father had made plenty of decisions that impacted Nathan’s life. He couldn’t think of a time where he’d offered justification for these choices. Jerome always spoke with a firm voice that one tended not to argue with.

Nathan had been placed in private school at an early age, and hadn’t been given much of a choice for living arrangements when his father moved to London. Jerome hadn’t ever even asked him where he’d like to go for vacation.

He found himself unsure of what to think about his father’s arrival. He had obviously come because his aunt had demanded it in a presumably manic state over the phone. Nathan didn’t want to write his father off as completely uncaring about his circumstances, but he thought he would’ve been able to fix all of this with a simple phone call.

The ground felt extra firm as Nathan stepped out of his car determined not to let Jerome get to him. Nathan’s number one concern was making sure that his father didn’t make any drastic decisions on his behalf.

He walked into the coffee shop with determination that soon left him once he saw his father sitting in the back corner with his face buried in his laptop. Nathan ordered an Americano and headed to face him, who had not noticed his presence. The rather loud, swift footsteps apparently did not attract his attention.

Jerome was a tall man with thinning jet-black hair. Both his manner and looks spoke to the powerful confidence that he radiated wherever he went. The psyche made it easy for him to attract Nathan’s mother, Hilary, though his stoic behavior was likely why she took off with a less powerful, drug-addicted musician.

“Hello, Father,” Nathan said as he approached. He tried his best to emulate his father’s demeanor, who would never have admitted he was wrong in a scenario like this. Nathan knew he was in the right, but he needed a strong showing to convince him.

Jerome took a sip of his cappuccino. “You’ve certainly done a number on your aunt,” he said, as he closed his laptop.

The two found themselves in something of a standoff. Their expressions were both cold and collected. Nathan saw right through his callous approach, but he couldn’t get a read on what Jerome was after.

“I’ll make no apologies for what I did with Jackie. I displayed some dishonesty to Aunt Cassidy, which was a mistake, but she never would have understood why I did what I did,” he replied, believing he’d made a strong first showing. His figurative pawn had been moved.

“You have made a tremendous mess, Nathan.” His father was not going to let him dictate the vibe of the conversation. “You have put me in an awkward position as to what to do with you. Your reputation will take a big hit over this. You’ll be lucky to not be thrown out of school for what you’ve done.”

Jerome was starting to get to Nathan. The part about school was a low blow and not exactly accurate. He couldn’t get in trouble for something like this and even if he could, it wasn’t something that a check from his father couldn’t fix.

But Nathan didn’t want to argue the small parts of his father’s claim. “I haven’t put you in any position. I didn’t say you needed to come, and you could’ve easily said no to Aunt Cassidy. It’s not like I’m currently living with her.” Nathan was struggling to keep his emotions in check. This was harder than he’d thought it would be. He wanted to scream at his father, but instead all he could do was smile, knowing that his father had picked a public setting for that very reason.

Jerome spoke again, this time with a condescending tone. “I thought that leaving you behind when I went to London would work out fine. Clearly, I have made a mistake. I looked at some schools on the way over. You’ll come to England with me and we can get your life back on track.”

This was Aunt Cassidy’s threat magnified by ten. Nathan tried harder than ever to keep his emotions in check, but inside he was freaking out. He regretted not having the Rousseaus come along for support. Jerome was too big a foe to handle by himself.

He needed a lifeline, some way to counter what his father had just said. Nathan thought about all the times he’d mustered up the courage to approach Jackie in the face of potential and likely rejection. He needed something grandiose.

“No,” he said. It hardly felt like the grand solution he’d been trying to come up with, but it was a start. He had confused his father.

“What did you just say?” Jerome took another sip of his drink in an attempt to mask his confusion. He had never seen his father react that way to one word.

Some confidence began to return to Nathan. “I said no, Father. I am not going with you to England.” He regained a stoic tone to emulate the man he was trying to duel.

Jerome looked like the one on the defensive now. “Nathan, this is not up for discussion. You slept with a married woman and that is not behavior a normal teenager exhibits.” Jerome was no longer trying to hide his disapproval.

The discussion had remained relatively civil, but Nathan felt the sting of his father’s judgment and decided to retaliate with a sting of his own. “Okay, I’ll make you a deal. If you can name one time where you acted like a normal father, I’ll pack my bags and come with you tonight.”

Making this statement felt like his only option; he hoped his father would realize that forcing him to leave the country was not an acceptable response to what he’d done. The repercussions that it would have on his relationship with his father were worth it if it saved him from having his whole life uprooted.

There was a twitch in his father’s eyebrow, which showed how hard he was working to control himself. His right hand was clutching the table and his mouth was clenched shut. Besides that, he maintained his stoic composure. Nathan knew that it was made even harder by the fact that as hurtful as his comment was, it was true.

Nathan didn’t hold much resentment for his father. He knew that his mother’s departure and subsequent death had been hard on Jerome, and it left him unable to fulfill a role that was expected of him as the head of a family. It would’ve been nice if he had gotten over it, but life didn’t stop because he hadn’t.

Jerome provided Nathan with the financial flexibility to pursue all his interests. That was a poor substitute for being a loving father, but Nathan knew there were countless children who had been without either. That was all fine until his father become a direct deterrent toward allowing Nathan to lead the life he wanted to live.

He felt little guilt for what he’d said. The words were years in the making, even if there had never been an opportune time to say them until now. He stayed silent as he watched his father react.

Jerome opened his mouth a few times only to shut it, struggling to find the right words. Nathan relished the opportunity to hear his father say the first sincere thing to him he’d ever spoken, even if he had forced it to happen. Part of him now wished they were in a more private setting.

“Nathan, I know I have not been a very good father,” he said. “I’ve got no excuses to give.” He paused for a moment. Though he stuttered, he maintained eye contact. His words couldn’t seem to emerge.

His father’s struggle to articulate his thoughts allowed Nathan to remember what he wanted out of their encounter. And it wasn’t a big revival in his relationship with Jerome. He hadn’t come there for a heart to heart.

“I didn’t come here for you to explain yourself,” Nathan said, who offered an olive branch to his suffering father. “I know things were hard for you after all that happened when I was little.” He’d never made it a habit of mentioning his mother in conversation, who unlike Jerome had never done anything for him at all.

He abandoned the chess game that he’d expected to play with his father and said, “I’m okay, really, and we’re okay. You did what you did and I’m not going to sit here and pretend like my whole life has been ruined by your choices. But I don’t need you to make choices for me anymore. I don’t need to go to a therapist or to England. I don’t expect you to understand what happened, but I don’t think it’s fair of you to come across the ocean to change my life just because I did something unusual. I had a romantic relationship with a woman I care about, and now she’s gone. That’s not your business or anyone else’s. I am fine and that’s all you need to be worried about. You and I are fine, too, as long as you don’t try to make drastic decisions that affect me based off what Aunt Cassidy heard from a bunch of crazed housewives at the club. That is not okay.”

Nathan could’ve continued for as long as the café stayed open, but he’d made his point to his father, who know sat in a pensive state while he processed his son’s words. He didn’t feel great for saying what he needed to say, but he was at least relaxed knowing that he’d said it. He just hoped that his father had been persuaded.

“You’re right, Nathan,” Jerome finally admitted. “I should not have drawn such an ultimatum. Your aunt tried to do what was best for you and maybe she wasn’t fit for that position. I wouldn’t hold it against her. She was only looking out for what was best for you.”

Nathan didn’t have strong feelings of animosity toward his aunt, but he didn’t wish to return there either. “I know, but I’m not going back there. I’ll live with the Rousseaus for the rest of the year and then I’ll go to college, so it doesn’t matter. I don’t think the Thompson household is a good fit for me anymore.”