Courting Mrs. McCarthy (19 page)

He hadn’t checked with Megan and Victoria to verify such a change to the living arrangement, but he didn’t anticipate it being a problem. They had been his support when everyone else turned him away, both past and present, and he hoped they’d continue to be. Jerome didn’t seem bothered by the fact that Nathan had presented this as a statement rather than a question.

Instead, he had ceded the fact that he couldn’t be controlling over his son. His eyebrow had stopped twitching. He still came across as cold, but that was more indicative of his usual personality.

“That’s fine with me as long as it’s okay with the Rousseau family. I’ll give them a call later today,” he said in a more pleasant tone of voice. “I’m sorry you’ve been put in this position. Are you doing okay?”

This was the first time Nathan could recall his father asking him a serious life question. Their few phone conversations were typically neutral and impersonal.

Nathan struggled with a response even though the battle was over. His emotions at the current moment had more to do with his father than with Jackie. As far as selecting something to keep his mind off of his loss, a heart to heart with his absentee parent was fairly effective. He wondered if his encounter with Jerome would make the gossip rounds at Seers Point. He didn’t want his life to become a local soap opera.

He didn’t need his father’s sympathy, but he also didn’t see a reason to say anything but the truth. “It’s been a whirlwind. I miss Jackie and I wish that what happened hadn’t happened, but I’ll get by. Time heals all wounds and I’ll survive this one.”

Without any prompt, Nathan started to tell his father how he’d come to be in the company of Jackie and why she mattered to him. He left out the sexual parts, but he didn’t hide the fact that he’d felt genuine emotion toward her. It was the kind of conversation that he wished he’d had with his aunt, but it felt good to be able to talk to his father about it.

He finished with the predicament of not knowing what to do and the frustration of not really being able to do anything at all. The only word he could really come up with to describe it was “shitty.” He let out a laugh of frustration while taking another sip of coffee.

Jerome’s phone rang about ten times at the table showing that his availability was dwindling. He constantly ignored it, but Nathan knew that his business was increasingly taking over as his predominant thought. His father was a busy man who hadn’t expected to need to step away from his work. Nathan would’ve liked to feel like he was the ever important center of attention of Jerome’s life, but he could accept that he wasn’t.

Ignoring the phone, Jerome said, “Well, this is what romance does to people, Nathan.”

He felt cheated by that lazy and unhelpful statement. “That’s it? I tell you the story that led to me becoming the talk of the town and that’s all you have to say. Surely there’s more on your mind, Father.”

Jerome laughed in a rare showing of positive emotion. He was not a man known for his sense of humor. “I don’t think you need my help on this one, son. You’ll figure it out.”

As Nathan took in his disbelief at what he’d thought could be a pivotal moment between the two, his father stood up and put his laptop in his briefcase. “I must return to London. This was not the best week to have affairs go public, but that wasn’t your doing. I will call the Rousseaus on my way to the airport. Don’t hesitate to call me if you need anything,” he said as he gave him a pat on the shoulder.

Before he left, he added, “One more thing, Nathan. I’m proud of you. You’ve done well.”

He took this for face value and replied, “Love you too, Dad,” as Jerome left. He gulped down the rest of his lukewarm beverage and looked down at a magazine. Of all his experiences with Jackie over the past month, none seemed as bizarre as the encounter he’d just had with his father.

He sort of understood why Jerome had been reluctant to offer any advice for how he might approach Jackie. He appreciated that his father had shied away from expressing an opinion on the morality of what he’d done. Like Steve, Jerome had been on the other end of infidelity. Nathan had no idea whether or not he deserved it, though the rare mentions of his mother showed that she was likely the one at fault.

He could accept the fact that his father also wouldn’t feel comfortable expressing an opinion on his son’s exploits with a much older woman, even if she was much younger than Jerome. Nathan wasn’t sure how old Jerome was. The age difference between Jackie and Jerome was not too dissimilar from the one between her and Nathan. Jerome was uncomfortable talking about any kind of feeling.

It made him both horrified and oddly satisfied that he had been able to so accurately emulate his father while the two were conversing. He respected the way his father conducted himself, but wasn’t really okay with being able to accurately impersonate him, though it gave him a sense of maturity that could explain how he found himself in a position to court Jackie in the first place. He didn’t want to be like his father.

Nathan likened his opening up to the game of catch that Kevin Costner’s character played with his dad at the end of
Field of Dreams
. His conversation with Jerome wasn’t the sign of anything other than an acknowledgement that the two had a relationship. When it was over, Jerome could go back into the cornstalks and life would go on.

He grew anxious that he might somehow be destined to relive the same tragic fate that had plagued his father once his relationship with his mother had crumbled. Jerome had tried to move on, but the pain of rejection by his wife for a man so beneath her was a horrible blow to his psyche. Her death made him give up on the world for a long time. Nathan would have plenty of time to move on, but he needed closure to really know it was over.

A rational person might have told Nathan not to worry and that the circumstances were far different. Knowing he shared so many of his father’s quirks and reservations when it came to people, Nathan couldn’t help but worry about the long-term effects of Jackie’s departure. He had experienced a minor victory with Jerome that day, but there was still work to be done.

Nathan left the coffee shop with an increased understanding of his father. The angst he felt toward the man had started to dissipate. Jerome had seen the light after some persuasion. That didn’t make up for his shortcomings, but it eased Nathan’s ill will toward him.

Like Aunt Cassidy, Jerome had his flaws and shortcomings that Nathan was just going to have to put up with. His arrival might not have been out of concern for Nathan, but he would leave the country having given his son some reassurance that he could get through his situation. He thought of a day where he might even look to Jerome as a friend.

Nathan headed back to Griffin’s house to be by himself for a while. He imagined his father was probably letting off steam in his own way as well. He only wished he could tell Jackie about the day he’d learned to understand his father.

Chapter 25

The next week was filled with plenty of ups and downs for Nathan. His meeting with Jerome had provided him with a temporary morale boost, but that didn’t fix all of his problems. He was still without closure on the Jackie front and essentially an outlaw in his own town.

Nathan was fairly limited with activities to keep his mind occupied and off Jackie. Megan and Victoria had told him that people at Seers Point had stopped talking about it, but he wasn’t sure he believed them. He also knew the talk would start right back up the second he walked into the club and he wasn’t ready to face that.

He still received numerous messages on a daily basis from friends and acquaintances who wanted to know the details of his relationship. Nathan avoided all of these requests, as he was not ready to go talk about it. He hoped to hold out long enough so that people would stop caring. That time was a long way away. The first party he attended was going to be an unpleasant bombardment of interrogations, so he decided he would hold off on attending any social functions.

He had ruled most of the town off-limits as well. He didn’t want to put himself in a position where he’d run into someone who would ask him questions or even look at him funny. He treated every visit to get coffee or food like he was entering a village of zombies out to get him. Paranoia was rampant.

The town was big enough that Nathan was free to walk around without fear that people were on the prowl for him. The odds of a public confrontation were low. His exile was largely self-imposed as he didn’t want to risk the chance that people might be following him. For someone who actually was followed, it was somewhat understandable.

He and Griffin ventured up to parks in Connecticut and traveled aimlessly around the city. Nathan’s mood was mostly determined by how much he time had spent thinking about Jackie on that particular day. This proved frustrating for Griffin, who seemed to take it personally when his efforts to cheer Nathan up failed. He was trying very hard.

What Nathan hadn’t told Griffin was that he’d made contact with Jackie a few days after she’d departed for the West Coast. He was worried about how that might be perceived. Nathan had sent one text message and left one voicemail a day for her as an effort to let her know he cared without smothering her unnecessarily. These efforts were finally reciprocated, though the news was far from pleasant.

Steve had figured out about the affair the same day it became public. He’d received the e-mail from an anonymous contact that contained multiple pictures of Jackie and Nathan. Corinne Kalford had sent them out of spite, though she would never be publicly exposed. Nathan knew it couldn’t have been anyone else.

Steve had wasted no time in levying a punishment toward his wife. His lawyer, who had been with him since his steroid days, called her threatening to bring her to court if she did not return to Seattle at once with the children. She had been frozen out from all of her funds save for a credit card and a checking account with a mere two hundred dollars, leaving her options limited.

Jackie had managed to get a divorce attorney of her own, albeit a less experienced one. It didn’t help that she’d deleted the angry voicemail Steve had left her. That was the only thing she had of actual use against the man. The children were in his custody, and Jackie described the situation as bleak to Nathan. She had also made the mistake of admitting to the affair with Nathan, which gave Steve even more leverage.

This news been very rough on Nathan, who blamed himself for what had happened. Despite her efforts to alleviate his responsibility, he could not stop thinking of the pain the McCarthy children were going through all because he’d slept with their mother. He felt worse knowing there was nothing he could do to fix the problem.

He knew he needed to put on a happy face for the Rousseau family, who were stuck with him as a burden. Jerome had called Victoria in a diplomatic fashion, offering monetary incentives for them to take Nathan off the hands of his sister. He seemed unable to process the idea that the Rousseaus could do something like that without expecting a reward. Nathan fell into a hysteric laughing fit when he heard the story of his father’s phone call.

Life at the Rousseau house was pleasant. Nathan was still afforded the down time that he enjoyed at the Thompsons, but there was a stronger feeling of family unity. He only wished that Megan or Victoria would watch
Cheers
in the living room so that he didn’t feel homesick.

He had only one encounter with Aunt Cassidy since the exchange that led to his departure. He and Griffin had gone to their house to pick up the rest of Nathan’s stuff. They had planned it at a time when his cousins would be at practice so they wouldn’t be upset or confused, but Nathan was surprised to find his aunt home. She was quiet as they moved his belongings and only asked if he was doing all right. Nathan gave her a hug on the way out and thanked her for everything she’d done over the past year.

He had not been to the library since the affair went public. Encounters in the real world were hard enough when he was trying to avoid anyone he knew. The idea of seeking out people he did know was not very appealing. He wasn’t really sure how Mrs. Buchanan would feel about his actions, but given that she had been a devoted wife for decades, he didn’t care to find out just yet.

He also felt guilty that she was the only person besides his aunt who had been lied to about the affair for a long period of time. He’d never outwardly fibbed to her, but he’d created scenarios, which served as surrogates to what had actually happened. Mrs. Buchanan had served as an unknowing advisor to his affair and he didn’t know how to address that.

The purgatory at the Rousseau home wasn’t terrible. Nathan spent his time reading books and watching shows on the TV he’d put in his new bedroom. Any boredom he felt was justified as an adequate punishment for the trouble he’d caused. It definitely beat what Jackie was going through.

He also took solace knowing that his time cooped up in the house was soon coming to an end. The Rousseau family vacation to the Bahamas was coming up in three days’ time. Nathan had tiptoed around the issue of what was to be done with him while they were away, but Victoria told him that his father had made arrangements for him to join them. They would be gone for ten days, after which the rest of the town would begin to venture off to their own vacation destinations as August approached.

The Rousseaus liked to take vacation in July rather than August because of Megan’s career as a talking head. August was when she had the most amounts of opportunities to sub for other pundits, so she preferred to be in town. Nathan looked forward to this opportunity for a reset, hoping that talk of him and his affairs would die down by the time that people started returning back to Roxburgh. The fact that it was his first real family vacation was also exciting to him.

One day when Nathan was searching for a shirt that he thought Griffin had swiped from him, he came across the pile of DVDs used for the joke foreshadowing what would happen if Nathan continued his relationship with Jackie. His warning had been an unlikely prophecy, though he knew that this had not been Griffin’s intention when he planned the prank.

Common sense would’ve told Nathan to put the DVDs away and maybe even suggest that Griffin remove them from the house. Part of him was slightly surprised that his friend still had them considering the efforts he’d gone through to make Nathan feel at ease. He decided not to move on from the tempting Hollywood classics.

He brought the stack into his room. Many people might have taken this as an act of emotional self-harm. Nathan had no good reason to be watching movies that hit this close to home. But instead of listening to common sense, he popped
Harold and Maude
in.

The dark comedy did not have its intended pleasurable effect on Nathan. Instead he sat and psychoanalyzed the plot as if it was running parallel to his own life. The problem was that the two scenarios bore little in common besides the obvious comparison of an older woman having a relationship with a younger man. He wanted to see himself in young Harold, but it just wasn’t there. The film bore more of a resemblance to his relationship with Mrs. Buchanan, albeit without the coitus.

The ending was slightly melancholy, but not happy. Nathan felt the ending was a cheap way to wrap up the movie. Therefore, it bore little in common with his relationship with Jackie, which was not operating under the confines of fictional limitations.

With the Rousseau family at work, Nathan watched
The Graduate
next. The story structurally looked a bit more like his own situation, but Nathan wasn’t all that convinced that this film would have any more answers for him. Mrs. Robinson was no Mrs. McCarthy, and Nathan grew bothered by the parallels between the two scenarios as both of Jackie’s daughters were far too young for him.

The only thing he thought he’d learned was that Mrs. Robinson really knew how to carry out a proper affair, though a hotel room would have been pointless in his own situation since he had his own open house. Getting caught had so many repercussions for Nathan which he had never taken seriously, given the brevity of their actual affair. Even after Kalford saw them on the train, he didn’t think that lightning would strike again so soon.

He was about to pop
Manhattan
into the DVD player when he stopped himself to reflect. Though he liked Woody Allen, this wasn’t a way to spend a pleasant summer afternoon so much as it was an effort to rake himself through the coals to see the error in his ways. The films had not been a complete waste of time though.

The one message that was clear and concise throughout every film on the stack was that intergenerational love was not sustainable. The desired happy ending had eluded all of the intergenerational romances. Griffin had gone through a lot of trouble to acquire the films to get a rise out him, but also to explain to his friend that the road he was headed down was only filled with pain.

But Nathan couldn’t quite wrap his head around the question of why. He could go through each movie and point out the reason why it didn’t work out and it just so happened that none of them involved a mutual agreement to end the partnership based on grounds of irreconcilable differences without the aid of loony outside interference.

Such was the case of his romance with Jackie. If no one had meddled with their relationship, they’d likely still be together. This may not be the case later on, but it would certainly be true on this pleasant July afternoon. Nathan wasn’t sure if he was ready to let someone like Corrine Kalford dictate when his relationships were to end. He could live with the idea that this wasn’t just his choice to make, but he was uncomfortable giving an outside party the power to interfere like that.

Nathan had done a good job of positioning himself as a suitable companion to Jackie.
Companion
being the key word. The romance would’ve had a decent shot at lasting the summer had it not been tampered with. With Jackie poised to leave Steve, it was possible that the end may not have been in sight just then. At the very least, Nathan would have been given an opportunity to fight for what he wanted to continue. The choice would then by Jackie’s and not Kalford’s. Nathan could live with that rejection.

It seemed selfish to call Jackie, but Nathan couldn’t help himself. He knew that if he didn’t get closure, he’d spend the rest of his life wondering about what might have happened to her. He gave himself the reassurance of knowing the damage was done. Unless his phones were tapped.

As he picked up his phone, he paused for a second to make sure that he was doing the right thing. From a moral and fair standpoint, whether or not it was necessarily
right
took a backseat for the sake of closure. But it was the right thing for Nathan to do to move on with his life.

He called her number, which caused a brief moment of panic. He realized that he hadn’t actually planned anything to say to her. He told himself to speak naturally, but he lacked the confidence to be comfortable with how that might turn out.

“Hi, Nathan,” Jackie said, answering faster than she had before. “Sorry I’ve been MIA for the past few days. Things have been really hectic.” She sounded like she was trying hard to be cheerful, which was painfully out of place.

This wasn’t lost on Nathan, but he was so happy to hear her voice that he didn’t really care how she sounded. “That’s okay. How are things going out west? Did Steve back off with his lawyers? Tell me everything.” Had he prepped before the phone call, he might have told himself to hold back a little, but the emotion was genuine.

“I’ve been meaning to call you. I’m actually going to back east to get some things before I head to Virginia to stay with my sister for a while. I’ll be arriving earlier in the day. If you’re around, I’d love to see you.” Her not so negative tone couldn’t hide the fact that things obviously hadn’t gone well if she was heading back east alone.

Despite Nathan’s strong desire to get some more information out of her, he held back knowing that she would have told him if she’d wanted to tell him over the phone. Instead, he told her to give him a call when she arrived and he’d come meet her. That represented a shift in caring about what was right for her rather than what was worked for him.