Covering the Carolinas (56 page)

As I lie there holding my grandaddy, I hear the door
creak open. I keep my eyes closed and try to hold on to the peace
I’ve had for the past few minutes. Those moments where it’s just he
and I alone in his room. Then, I feel the bed sag as someone
sits.

“
Raegan, it’s Christie. The funeral home
people are on their way. Are you going to be okay being in here for
this?” she asks gently.

“
Yes, I’m not leaving him.” With that, I hold
him for a little while longer until they arrive, and then I watch
as they place him onto a gurney and roll him through the house. As
they make their way out the front door and off the porch, I notice
Hank following them. “Hank, come here, boy,” I say. He stops to
look at me, but continues to follow them. I step toward the door
when Emmett stops me. “I’ve got to get him.” He nods, and I walk
out the door toward Hank. “Come here, boy,” I repeat as I approach
him. I squat down to his level and scratch him behind the ear.
“Hank, he’s gone, buddy.” I can see the sadness in his eyes. “I
know. I’m sad, too, but he’s with Mama, Daddy, and Mawmaw. It’s
just you and me from now on,” I say and wait for his reaction. He
tilts his head to the side and grins at me. Inside, I know he
understands exactly what I said, and as the van drives out the
driveway, we both stand and watch as Grandaddy leaves the Lowery
farm for the last time.

When we can no longer see him, I
cry uncontrollably, and Hank brushes up against me. I
bend down to him and cry until Emmett scoops me up and takes
me inside, as Hank trails behind us.

I have no idea what time it is when I wake up,
but I feel an emptiness in my soul.
Grandaddy is gone.
I look to my right and see
Emmett at the other end of the couch. When he realizes I’m awake,
he smiles my way.

“
Hey, Sleepin’ Beauty,” he says, and I smile
back.

“
Why’d y’all let me sleep like
that?”

“
You needed it. It’s only been a few hours,
and everything is taken care of for now.”

“
I’m sure I need to do something,” I say as I
sit up.

“
No, you don’t. The pastor will be by after
supper, Mama has supper on the way, and Cole has gone home to
shower and sleep for a little while. I’m not going
anywhere.”

Instead of speaking, I just slide
into his arms and don’t say another word. We sit like that until
there is a knock on the door. He rises to get it, and I wait to see
whom it is. I soon realize it’s the beginning of the never-ending
food committee. I know I should be thankful, but it’s just me for
crying out loud. I’ve never understood why people want to bring so
much food anyway.
Oh, well.
I stand and put on a happy face to greet them and
continue to do the same until George and Emma arrive. At this
point, she takes over, and once we eat supper, I wait for our
pastor.

The remainder of the night, we
discuss what service Grandaddy wants, and I pull out the book from
the safe. It has every detail of the funeral and then our pastor
begins to ask
about memories. At this
point, I’m not sure if I can handle it, but thinking of all our
good times makes me forget that he’s gone.

“
Hey, Rae, do you remember that time when you
refused to collect eggs because you said you weren’t gonna be a
baby bird killer, and that he should just buy them at the grocery
store?” Cole asks.

“
Uh, yeah, Grandaddy
enlightened me on how they ended up in the store, and needless to
say, from that day forward, I never bucked what he wanted me to
do,” I say. “Cole, do you remember that time he caught you with
that case of beer?” I giggle
and cover my
mouth.

Cole looks at me like he could kill me, and then I
realize his dad is here. “Yeah, he made me start pouring all of
them out, but then changed his mind because that was being
wasteful. He called his buddy Joe, and I had to give them to him.
The sad part was, I’d worked so hard to find a way to buy them. I
thought I was so slick.” He shakes his head. “But, my favorite is
when he talked about the war. Y’all know how he got that gun right
there?” We all shake our head. “He traded liquor for it. He loved
to tell me those stories when we’d come inside for lunch.”

After those stories, we get serious and talk about
things that could be spoken about in the service. He was always
singing, working hard, and on the tractor. Everyone knew who he was
in the town, and they all admired his work ethic. Most of all, they
loved how much he loved the Lord, even with the cards he was dealt
twelve years ago. No matter what, he always spoke the truth, even
if it hurt someone’s feelings, and he never gave up. Even today, he
never gave up; he knew it was time to move on, and move on, he
did.

As the pastor leaves, George and Emma insist I
come to their house, but I refuse. I don’t want to leave. This is
my home. I look at Cole and Emmett, and they both know
what I’m thinking. They aren’t leaving either.
Once George and Emma leave, we all decide to call it a night. Cole
sleeps in the guest room, and Emmett sleeps with me.

“
Do you think he’s gonna strike me dead?”
Emmett asks as he holds me close.

“
Nah, he might be turning his head, though.”
Emmett holds me tighter and kisses my cheek as I cry myself to
sleep in his arms.

The next day is full with meeting with the men
in suits and making sure everything is in line for the service
tomorrow. Grandaddy had chosen to have a
service at our church and then visitation afterward in the
fellowship hall. He wanted a celebration, and that’s
what he was going to get.

As the day of the service approaches, I do my
best to hold myself together, but this is making it real. This is
the day I have to say goodbye. Cole and Emmett have gone home to
shower and get dressed. Honestly, I just wanted a little time
alone. As the minutes pass by, I begin to regret my decision to be
alone. The deep sadness I feel for not having Grandaddy begins to
consume me
. I push it to the side, as I
get ready. Looking in my closet, I find a black A-line dress with
silver embellishments on the neckline, and as I go to grab it from
the closet, I change my mind when I see a bright yellow
dress.
That’s what he would want.
I take it and slide it on with the perfect boots.
As I apply my
makeup and
style my hair, I break down as I look in the mirror, but stop
myself.
I can be strong for him, just like
when I was five.
I wipe away the tears and
apply my makeup yet again and hear a knock on the door.

“
Come in,” I say as I apply my lipstick. I see
Emmett standing there in a charcoal gray suit with his hair
perfectly styled, and I smile at him.

“
Are you ’bout ready?” he
questions.

“
As much as I’ll ever be,” I say as I make my
way to him, and he holds me in his arms. I pull away before the
tears start again.

As we walk downstairs, Joe, Emma, George, Cole, and
a few distant relatives greet us. We make our way to our cars and
caravan to the church.

As time approaches, we line up to enter. When we
begin to walk inside, I turn to Emmett. “I can’t do this.” I begin
to cry and shake my head no.

“
Yes, you can,” he says as he clutches me by
the arm while Cole takes my other side. We make our way down front
and celebrate the life of my grandaddy, Dover Lowery. We laugh,
cry, and when it comes time, I leave the pew, and keep my promise
to him. I sing “Amazing Grace” the way he loved to hear it, and as
I close my eyes, I can hear him harmonizing with me that last time.
A tear streams down my face, but not before a smile escapes my
lips.

When the song ends, I take my seat
and listen to the pastor say a few last words. As the pallbearers
carry him out, we exit behind them and then make our way to the
fellowship hall. I’m in awe as I see how much people love us in
this town. Instead of your typical visitation, there is a meal with
plenty of fellowship. It honestly reminds me of a homecoming
celebration.
Homecoming. That’s what
happened
, isn’t it? He went
home.

This time the men in suits aren’t a threat, because
rather than being scared of the unknown or going to say goodbye, we
are laughing, reminiscing, and celebrating the life of a man that
called me Sunshine.

Emmett

Watching everyone celebrate the life of Mr. Lowery
brings a light into my heart. He not only was he the love of my
life’s grandaddy, but he was a man that I’ve grown to respect. He
never worried about the cards he was dealt, but instead, he took
life by the horns and lived it to the fullest.

As the crowd begins to diminish from the fellowship
hall, I move in closer to Raegan. It’s almost as if she senses what
is about to happen and she holds onto me for dear life.

“Raegan, are you ready?” I ask as the last person
leaves. She clutches my arms tighter. “As I’ll ever be.” She says.
I kiss the top of her forehead and we make our way to the door with
Cole, my mom, and George.

As we drive closer and closer to the farm, I see the
tears begin to stream down Raegan’s face. Not knowing what I can do
or should do to make her smile, I decide it’s time to take her to a
happier place and time. I take the first road once we reach the
property line and turn toward the creek. Raegan looks toward me and
smiles as tears fall from her face, but as I plug in my iPhone into
the radio adapter and begin to play, “That’s Where It’s At,” she
grins as if she knows what is about to happen. I walk around the
truck, take her by the hand, and we dance by the water. In this
moment, I know that her entire family is watching, and I don’t want
them to turn their head. I want them to know that I’m taking care
of their girl, in this moment and forevermore.

Epilogue

Four Months Later

Raegan

After waking up to the sound of the rooster, I make
my way downstairs and begin working on the farm. Over the past four
months, my life has changed dramatically. I’m no longer keeping up
with appearances; I now wear my emotions on my sleeves and say what
I am thinking. I’m still the girl that everyone loves at Cleveland
High, but I no longer worry about what others think.

“
Hey, Cole,” I say as I turn on the coffee
pot. After Grandaddy’s passing, Cole moved in. He’s made a
permanent residence here with me. I just don’t want to be alone,
and Emmett is not an option because his mother isn’t having it.
Plus, it’s not right, and Grandaddy would roll over in his
grave.

“
Mornin’, Rae, are you ready for this
weekend?” he asks.

“
You bet! I’ve been waiting on it forever,” I
say with excitement.

“
Oh, there’s something for
you on the table from Joe.”
I walk
to the kitchen table and see an off white envelope from Joe’s
office.
Probably some more legal stuff to
take care of.
I open it immediately and
freeze when I recognize the handwriting.
Grandaddy
. I look up to Cole, and he
smiles as a whirlwind of emotions begin to attack my body. He walks
out of the room, and I take a seat to read it.

Dear Sunshine,

If you’re reading this, I didn’t
make it. I’m sorry. I didn’t want to leave you alone, and I can
honestly say that when I left this world, you weren’t alone. You
have a support system that loves you
.

When I had to take those
treatments, I knew it wasn’t going to end well. I talked to both
Cole and Emmett and asked them to keep it from you. I had my
reasons. Most importantly, I wanted to spend my days with you
enjoying life and not worrying about me. I wanted to see you
living. Secondly, I wanted to see how Cole and Emmett would
handle
the task I had given them. They
both succeeded. I’m thankful to have had them in my life as well as
yours.

Sunshine, I’m going to miss some important events in
your life. From this point on, if you need parental advice, talk to
George and Emma, and when Emmett does something stupid, have Cole
handle it. I’ll look down on it and laugh from Heaven.

Emmett, now, he’s a catch. We had many a talk
without you knowing. Actually Cole and him. He loves you with
everything he can give, and one day he’s gonna ask you to be his
wife. Don’t act like you didn’t know this already, but act totally
shocked when it does happen. When he does, he has my permission.
I’ve already told him personally.

When I think about you getting married, I hate I
won’t be there to walk you down the aisle, but Cole will be. He is
to give you away, and on that day, as well as every other, I’ll be
looking down on you, Sunshine! Don’t ever let that light fade. I
love you with everything I have to give.

Love,

Grandaddy

I sit as the tears fall, and then Cole comes
to stand beside me. I look up at him and stand and wrap my arms
around him.
“Thank you for always being
there, Cole. I love you,” I say mid-cry, and he begins to cry as
well.

“
I love you, too. Just so you know, it would
be an honor to give you away one of these days.” I smile as I place
the note into my back pocket.

Within the hour, we are packing
the truck and
making our way to Atlanta. As we enter
the city, all the big buildings and insane traffic amaze me. I can
almost hear Grandaddy fussing the entire way. We check into the
hotel and then walk around before supper.