Cowboy is Mine (Cowboys of Nirvana Book 5) (11 page)

“Have you, sweetheart? Have you let it go?”

She brought her gaze up to meet his, her long lashes skimming the tops of her lightly freckled cheeks. “I wish I could say I have, but I’m here, aren’t I?”

“You haven’t ripped up the divorce papers, have you?”

“Dodge, what if at the end of this week I still ask for you to sign them? Will you?”

He shrugged. “I haven’t thought about it.”

“I’m still confused at what we’re doing here. Are we friends hanging out, having a good time? We can’t possibly work on our marriage, have a clean slate, here at Nirvana. The real life is out there, and this is certainly not ‘real’ life.”

“When did you become so negative?” He chuckled.

She smiled. “Let’s see, maybe you’ve lost your touch with reality a tad bit. Here you are in paradise, surrounded by nature’s best. I’d say if given a choice, you’ll choose to stay put.”

He shook his head. “Just so you know, there’s no possible way we could just be friends. Too much history between us. And it doesn’t work like that, not when you can’t keep your hands off me.”

Her mouth opened, but she slammed it shut. Seconds went by until finally she said, “Excuse me?”

“You heard me. And I don’t want to be your friend anyway.”

“Why not?”

“Because I can’t keep my hands off you either. I’ve never wanted one of those friends with benefits arrangements.”

“Sounds like you’ve been thinking about this for a while.”

“The part where we can’t keep each other’s hands to ourselves?”

A smile played at the corner of her mouth. “We should drop the subject.”

“I’m curious, sweetheart. Why ask for a divorce now?”

She took a deep breath. “Should we wait another ten years when our chances of ever being happy will be slimmer?”

He heard something in her tone that sounded close to tears. “What will make you happy?”

“Come on, Dodge. Do you really want to do this?”

“I’m asking, aren’t I?” They had many conversations that needed hashed out, and this certainly was one.

She looked out over the water. “I love my career, but I want more. I want a husband, children, a life full of love and joy. I want a partner who I can grow old with, sharing in laughter and the aches and pains as our bodies age.”

“We had once shared that dream.”

“Yes we did,” she said in a soft voice. “I have something to say. I’m not taking contraceptive.”

He narrowed his gaze. “I guess I just assumed you were. You did before.”

“You assumed wrong. I’m not a woman who fools around, and I especially don’t do what we did in my cabin.”

“I’m not accusing you. I just assumed a single woman your age would be protecting herself.”

She snapped her chin up, nailing him with a ‘kiss-my-ass’ glare. “And most single men would take the responsibility.”

“Hell, no arguing that point. We were both careless. Damn, I didn’t have a working brain cell in my skull.”

She sighed heavily. “You and I didn’t use anything, so, well, I felt I needed to be honest.”

His chest twisted. Shit! He hadn’t even thought about it until this moment. With every woman he’d ever been with besides Krista, he’d always used precaution—no matter what. This switched things up some. “Is there a chance that you could be—”

“Oh, I don’t know. I wouldn’t know this soon. And the chances that I would be are very slim. I just needed you to be aware of it.”

What if, just by chance, she was indeed carrying his baby?

Wow…shouldn’t he feel fear? Even repentance? No, that wasn’t guilt spiraling through his body. It was excitement. Why wouldn’t he be? There wasn’t anything in his life that he wouldn’t want to share with his own flesh and blood. In fact, when he looked to his future, he saw Krista. Always had. Sure, he’d made many mistakes in the past, but he had changed. He was a different man, confident that he could be a great father. Even a husband.

“You know what, I’m going to have to read one of your books.” He leaned back, catching her squinted expression. “I can read.”

“Of course you can read. I…well…you never liked to read before, but people can change.”

“That’s right they can. I had to have something to make the nights seem less lonely,” he said.

Another bewildered look spread over her face. “You? Lonely?”

“Yes.” The breeze picked up and carried tendrils of her hair. He ached to reach out and touch them.

“Let’s see, I counted at least three different women on your arm in those magazines. My idea of loneliness differs from yours.” She sniffed.

“That was a long time ago. Remember, we just agreed people can change.”

“Can they, Dodge? Can they make a complete turnaround?”

The seriousness in her tone made his spine tingle. He’d been a shit, certainly, but he’d like to think he’d paid the devil his due and could have a piece of the cake. “Give me a chance to prove it.”

“I’m not sure a week is long enough.” She turned her cheek and stared at a group of passersby heading for the trails.

She pulled her line from the water and laid the rod aside. “I feel like a swim.” She winked, then slid off her shorts. “Can you still do a cannonball?”

“Honey, you’re talking to the cannonball champ.”

“Outdo this, smartass.” She went to the opposite edge of the dock and ran across the sun-faded wood, tucking her body tight into her chest and landing with a splash into the water. She came back to the top, smiling from ear to ear. “Can you beat that, Dodge? Or you can sit this one out if you must. It’s a bit chilly in here.”

“Baby, I ain’t one to sit back and watch.” He laid his pole to the side, dragged off his shirt and jeans, and jumped in beside her. Shaking water droplets from his hair and face, he laughed because he’d gotten her drenched. “Oops, did I do that?”

She pushed her hand through the water, splashing him. Her chin was shaking and her teeth were chattering. “Cute. Real cute.” She swam away from him, but he caught up to her fast, drawing her into his chest.

He nuzzled his nose against her wet hair, whispering, “Where are you going?”

“It’s cold. I’m getting out.” There was a slight tremble to her voice.

He brought his hands into her hair, gently tugging her head back onto his shoulder.

“I know something that’ll warm you up,” he teased.

“Oh, I bet you do.”

“That bikini is a man’s worst fear.”

“Why is that?”

“Not only is it damn sexy, but I want to tug it from your lovely curves with my teeth.”

She twisted, facing him. “What’s keeping you from it?”

Even neck deep in the water, his dick rose to the occasion. “We’d certainly give them something to talk about.”

“Who?”

“Turn toward the mountain and wave, sweetheart.” He lifted his hand to the group of people who’d stopped along the edge of the water, watching.

Krista pulled away from him, swimming to the dock and climbing the ladder. He watched her pull herself up, the bikini bottoms adhered to her tight bottom as she walked to her shorts and dragged them on. As cool as the water was, he should be as flaccid as a limp noodle, but that wasn’t the case. He made his way out of the water, the evidence of his attraction still stretching his boxers. Her gaze dropped to the part of him that wanted her in the worst possible way. When she looked at him, her cheeks rosy, he grinned. “Great idea, darlin’, but this ain’t nothing like the lake house where we used to make love on the dock to warm each other up.”

“That was years ago. I barely remember.”

He didn’t bother responding. After they packed up the rods, they put their boxes into the back of the Gator and headed toward the kitchen where they dropped off the fish for Deke.

“I totally caught more than you,” she teased.

“Yes you did.” He loved seeing her enthusiasm. He was glad their deep conversation on the dock didn’t ruin the day.

“What time are we eating our catch?”

“Seven okay?”

“Seven is absolutely splendid.”

The rest of the drive to her cabin was quiet, but not inside of his head. He couldn’t stop thinking about her teeny bikini and wanting to pull the string. He slipped his gaze over her body, noticing how red her skin appeared. “Krista, did you put on sunscreen?”

She shifted her chin and looked at both of her shoulders, her nose wrinkling. “I forgot to slather on more.”

“You’re turning redder by the minute. I’ll take you back to my cabin. I have a miracle salve that’ll help. You’re going to hurt like hell come evening.” He wanted to kick himself in the ass. He should have reminded her to apply more sunscreen. Most people who aren’t from around Wyoming, or used to being out on a ranch, don’t realize how quickly skin can burn, even on a cloudy day.

He turned the cart toward staff row and pulled in front of his cabin.

“So, this is the bachelor pad, huh?” she asked as she slid out of the passenger side.

“That’s a little far-fetched. I’ve never had a woman here.”

“I’m the first? I’m flattered.”

“You might not be after you get a sniff of the salve I’m going to use on your skin.”

He wished he would have taken the time to clean up a bit that morning. The bed was unmade. Clothes were strewn over the chair. And a coffee cup sat on the nightstand. Yet, she didn’t seem to mind. She walked in and plopped down onto the bed, appearing to test the mattress. “It’s small, but comfy.”

He swallowed and felt a twitch behind his zipper.
Mind out of the gutter, cowboy.

“My cabin is nothing like yours. We have the basics.”

“I think it’s very nice…rustic and charming.”

He laughed. “If you say so.” He was more interested in how she was rubbing her fingers over the fluffy blanket and plucking at it softly. “I’ll get us a water.”

“Apparently, I’m not the only woman you’ve had here.”

He uncapped her water and handed it over, seeing a scrap piece of paper in her hand. “What’s that?”

She patted a neatly folded stack of clothing. “Looks like Moon delivers.”

Dodge took the note and read aloud, “You forgot your clothes. We’re even, cowboy. Moon.” He dropped the paper onto the bed and shook his head. “It’s not what you think.”

“What am I thinking?” She lifted a thin brow.

“That Moon and I are an item. She’s one of the—”

“Hands. Yes, I know. I’ve met her. She’s quite lovely and it’s sweet of her to wash and fold your clothes.”

He cleared his throat and drank half his water. “She didn’t wash my clothes. She was at the laundry room at the same time I was and she probably just thought she’d help out.”

“It’s okay, Dodge. I understand, and even if I didn’t, it’s not my right to give you a hard time.”

“I want you to understand, sweetheart. I want you to stop judging me as a playboy and instead, a decent man.”

Her bottom lip trembled. “The past isn’t so easy to detach from.” Her eyes lit up.  “Is that what I think it is?” She stood and crossed the room to the shelf, placing her bottle on the table. “Is that Charlie?” She picked up the old raggedy dog and tapped it’s faded red nose. “I remember the night you won this for me. The carney had no clue who he was dealing with. Fast arm Dodge was on the premises and he was aiming to win his lady a prize.” She wagged her brows.

He shrugged. “Well, I figured since you didn’t take the poor bastard with you when you left, I couldn’t leave him behind. He kinda grew on me as a bed partner back when you first hit the road.”

She blinked. “You slept with Charlie? Are you pulling my chain?”

“Don’t look too closely at his fur or you’ll see the slobber rings.” Dodge winked. “Now, how about you get undressed and climb into bed, sweetheart.”

Her smile widened and she put Charlie back in his place between the trophies he’d won through the years. “I thought you’d never ask.”

“I think you got the burn on purpose so I’d give you a massage.” He took the stack of clothes and placed them on the dresser and grabbed the blanket off the mattress, giving it a toss over the chair.

“I’m busted.”

“I was afraid of that.”

“Are you going to just stand there watching?”

He scrubbed his chin. Sure, he’d seen her naked a thousand times, even recently, but he’d forgotten they weren’t exactly in a relationship still. “I’ll be in the bathroom gathering the first aid kit. You yell when you’re decent.”

Inside of the bathroom, he took off his hat and laid it on the back of the toilet. “Boy, you’re a mess,” he said to his reflection.

He splashed his face and neck with cold water, but it didn’t help the scorching heat in his groin. The mere thought that his beautiful wife was in the next room, undressing, and climbing into his bed made him as spiky as a porcupine. He couldn’t trust himself to behave.

She called and he stepped back into the room, his breath hitching. She was stretched out on her stomach, all five foot two inches of beautiful woman. The sheet was pulled over her loosely, but her shapely legs and bare shoulders were left exposed. The thin white lines where the bikini straps were looked stark against the red of the sunburn. He needed to get her taken care of fast before she ended up with blisters, then he’d never forgive himself.