COWBOY ROMANCE: Justin (Western Contemporary Alpha Male Bride Romance) (The Steele Brothers Book 1) (122 page)

THE END

A Military Romance

(A standalone book)

The War Within Himself

As the miles closed between Luke and the town at the end of the gravel road, he let out a relaxing sigh. Man, was it nice to be home. After almost a year in the desert, he craved the greenery of the open fields that were all around him. He had always loved his small hometown, but it wasn’t until he went away that he realized exactly how much.

              He smiled as he passed the Reynold’s farm, where he got his tires stuck trying to sneak their daughter out in the middle of a rainy night. Boy, was her dad mad when they reluctantly had to fess up and ask for him to pull Luke’s truck out. A few minutes later he passed the pasture where his two best friends and he had hosted the county’s largest bonfire. It had lasted almost a full hour before the cops had shown up.

              It was as if each mile held a memory from his past, and he loved relishing in each one. After just a few more minutes he pulled up in front of the old dusty coffee shop in downtown Abilene, KS. It all still looked the same as it always had. The old repurposed tables were paired with unique mismatching chairs that made the whole place feel like your grandmother’s house in the most comforting way. This place always felt like home to him, although he could never put his finger on exactly why.

              “Luke? Luke Crawford?” a familiar voice called from behind him. At the sound of her voice, his heart skipped a beat in his chest. He turned to see Serena with her beautiful blond hair flowing over her perfectly tanned skin. She looked even more beautiful than the last time he had seen her, if that were even possible. He opened his mouth, but no words came out.

              Quickly clearing his throat, he said, “Serena.” She flashed him a gorgeous white smile and hastily closed the gap between them. In her always-excited manner, she bounced toward him and wrapped him in a hug.

              “How are you? I had no idea you were back! How long have you been back? Are you okay?” She rambled on in the old manner that he had always found adorable. Holding him at arm’s length with concern heavy in her expression, she looked him up and down.

              “A lot of questions at once.” Luke laughed.

              “Sorry. Do you have plans, or would you want to sit for a bit? Catch up some?” The excitement in her voice made it impossible to tell her no. Plus, he could finish unpacking anytime.

              Luke gave her a crooked grin and nodded, not able to find the words to say in her presence.              

“Can I have a black coffee and a caramel latte, please?” Luke asked the young girl behind the counter. After paying, he turned around to see Serena beaming.

              “You remembered,” she breathed. All the feelings from high school came rushing back, and she felt like a young schoolgirl again as her cheeks burned with flattery.

              “Course I remembered. It’s the only way I could ever get you out of bed to go hunting with me at the crack of dawn. I swear you could smell it before I pulled into your driveway.” Luke’s face cracked into a smile as he made his way over to one of the old, worn tables that faced the street outside. Following close behind, Serena sat across from him with the same adorably charming smile that she always wore.

              “So, how have you been? How long have you been back? How long are you staying?” she rambled. Luke tried his hardest to suppress his smile. “Sorry, you know how I get.” She laughed. “Let’s start with: How are you?”

              He blinked hard, trying to swallow down the words he really wanted to say. She had always been so sweet and innocent; she had always believed the best in the world. He had spent so much time trying to protect her from the way the world really was that he knew without even thinking about it that he would lie to her again today. “I’m great.” The second the words left his mouth, he cursed himself silently for being too upbeat. She would be able to smell the lie from a mile away. “Been all right, I suppose,” he added, trying to keep the nervousness out of his voice.

              Her brow furrowed slightly with concern. “You sure? Everything’s been okay?” Luke nodded, trying to convince her that he was all right. “How was…?” Before she could finish her sentence, she thought better of it and let it trail off.

              Luke gave her a comforting smile and said, “It’s okay to say it.”

              “How was…Iraq?”

              “Pretty much how’d you imagine.” Realizing how harsh the words had come out, Luke added, “But I’m all right. How have you been?”

              Trying to break the awkward tension between them, Serena said, “Better then Ben Hamilton. Did you hear he got arrested…again?”

              “Again?” Luke laughed dramatically, widening his eyes. “What for this time?”

              “I think public nudity again.” The way Serena said the words so casually made Luke burst with laughter. He had forgotten how much fun she was to be around. She had a way of lifting the tension in any situation. She always knew how to make him laugh.

              “Oh! My favorite couple!” an older woman carrying a tray said as she approached the couple. Her little gentle voice felt like home. It reminded them both of the many nights they had spent together through high school in this very spot.

              “Mrs. Kiplins!” Hastily, Luke got to his feet and wrapped her in a gentle hug. “It’s been a long time.”

              Holding him at arm’s length, she pinched his cheeks. “You haven’t changed a bit! I am so glad to see you back here.”

              “I’m glad to see you too.”

              “I knew you two would get back together!”

              “Oh…” Luke said as his eyes darted awkwardly between Mrs. Kiplins and Serena.

              “We’re not a—” Serena began before Mrs. Kiplins cut her off.

              “Well, I’ll leave you two be! I don’t want to take up you time together. I hope to see you again soon, sweetie.” She scurried off, smiling to herself, before they were able to correct her.

              Serena let out a forced laugh. “I’ve told her several times that we aren’t a couple, but she refuses to believe it.”

              “This did use to be our spot.” He thought fondly back over all the late nights they had spent in this coffee shop dreaming of what their futures would hold, thinking they had it all figured out.

              “A lot has changed since then.”

              “Not this place,” he said, looking around him. “This place stayed the exact same.” He could almost see them sitting there a few years earlier, her same blond hair in a ponytail on top of her head and his shaggy, unkempt hair that he had thought made him look cool. The town doctor’s smart, beautiful daughter and the poor farmer’s son; he never knew what she saw in him.

              “I miss it sometimes.”

              His heart jumped in his chest at the thought of her missing him. “Miss what?”

              “Everything,” she said, although her eyes said so much more. They silently pleaded for him to say something more, to tell her that he missed her too, that he had never stopped thinking of her.

              “Me too.” Everything she did was beautiful. Even as she sipped from her coffee cup with both hands wrapped around it, he couldn’t help but notice how enticing each motion she made was.

              “Oh, crap!”

              “What?”

              Looking at her watch, Serena scrunched her nose. “I’m late to meet Kelsie. We’re going wedding dress shopping today.”             

              “Oh yeah. I heard she was getting married. Tell her congrats for me.” As Serena hastily stood and threw her purse over her shoulder, Luke stood with her. “Nice catching up. I’m sorry it has to end.”

              “Maybe it doesn’t.” A sweet smile spread across her face as she ran her hands unconsciously through her hair. “Luke Matthews, would you like to have dinner with me tomorrow night?”

              “Are you asking me out?” He shot her a devilish grin.

              “Maybe I am.”

              “I’ll pick you up at six.” She lingered for a moment longer before heading for the door. He watched her unwaveringly until her car pulled down the road.

*

              His mom sat the grilled cheese sandwich before him with the crusts cut off, as he had eaten it when he was a kid. Although he had been on several tours to Iraq, his mom had a way of denying that he was old enough to be a man yet. “Thanks, Ma.”

              “How was town?”

              “Good. Ran into Serena.”

              “You did?!” The excitement rose with the pitch of her voice. “How was that?”

              “Fine. We’re going to dinner tomorrow to catch up.” He tried his hardest to sound casual, but his mother knew him to well to not hear the excitement he was covering up.

              Luke often kept his personal life from his mother because she was a very typical Southern mom in the fact that she was always trying to set him up. Even more so after his father died, she was overwhelmed with the thought of having grandchildren. “That’s so exciting!” She clapped her hands together and fidgeted in her seat.

              “It’s just dinner, Ma. We’re not marrying off.”

              “Not yet,” she sang as she grabbed his hand and gave it a good squeeze. “She is such a good girl, Luke. You two really were great together.”

              Luke took a deep breath. He didn’t want to get her hopes up, or maybe he didn’t want to get his hopes up. “Don’t get too excited. We’re just catchin’ up.”

              No matter what he said, he wasn’t going to discourage her excitement. “She asks about you all the time, you know?”

              Damn it. Now his hopes were a thousand stories up, and there was no way to bring them down. “She does?”

              “Well of course she does. You’re the sweetest man she could ever ask for,” his mother cooed. Luke took a bite of his sandwich and tried to act as if his heart wasn’t about to beat from his chest. He took a few deep breaths and cleared his throat.

              “She been seeing anyone since I left?” He kept his eyes focused on his food as if it were the most fascinating thing he had ever seen. After a few moments of silence, he peered out of the corner of his eye at his mom, who was smiling at him happily.

              “Not that I know of, and believe me, I would know about it.”

              “Why? You got eyes on her?”

              “Oh, Luke.” She waved her hands, dismissing the thought. Southern mothers all had one thing in common: They loved to snoop, but they hated to be called out on it. “Now you know that in a town this size I’m liable to hear about something happening before it even begins.” She busied herself with the dishes before mumbling under her breath, “And Mrs. Kiplins gives me updates from time to time.”

              “Ma!” Luke protested in disbelief. He tried his hardest to hold back the laugh that threatened to escape his throat. “Shame on you.” Although he tried to ignore it, the curiosity was eating away at him. “What’d Mrs. Kiplins have to say?”

              His mom shot him a mischievous grin, knowing she had roped him in, and excitedly pranced back to the counter bar where he sat. “Well, she said that Serena was missing you bad. She said that the whole time you been gone that girl came in and sat at your table. She said she was always writing something, but she had a far off look about her, like she wasn’t quite right without you.”

              “Oh, Ma.” He waved his hand at the thought that someone like Serena would be pining over someone like him. “She did not.”

              “She did so!”

              “She could have any guy she wanted to…” Luke’s voice trailed off in the footsteps of his thoughts. After all this time, 397 days, since they had been together, he hadn’t spent one single day without thinking about her. In his heart he didn’t allow himself to believe that she could have felt the same. Every man she had ever run into wanted her. There would be no need for her to wait this long just for a poor farm boy.

              Luke choked up slightly at the thought of how they had ended things. There was no way that after the things he’d said to her she would still care for him, but he’d done what he’d had to to protect her. He had no idea the day he left if he would ever be coming back, and leaving her grieving over him wasn’t something he could have on his conscious.

              His mother put her hand gently under his chin and raised it ever so slightly until their eyes met. He could see the glisten of tears that rested on the brim of her ocean blue eyes. “But she didn’t want just any man. She wanted you.” She took a deep breath to steady herself before she continued. “Luke, don’t do this to yourself.”

              “Do what?”

              “Self-destruct.” Staring deep into his eyes, she could see the hurt that lay just below the surface where he would never allow anyone to see. “You’ve been through some rough stuff, but that doesn’t mean that you aren’t worth loving. You deserve love. At least promise me you’ll take a chance with her? Put your feelings out there and allow her to decide. Don’t decide for her that you aren’t good enough.”

              “Don’t worry about me, Ma. I’m fine.”

              “It’s my job to worry about you.” With a kiss on the forehead, she left the room and left him to deal with his thoughts.