Crave Me (The Good Ol' Boys #4) (16 page)

Have you ever met someone that you felt like you already knew with every fiber of your being? Knowing it was physically impossible, knowing it was the first time you had ever laid eyes on him, knowing that he was a complete and utter stranger.

But, feeling it in your heart, in your mind, and in your soul that this person was a part of you. Someone you possibly met in a previous life, someone who may have meant something to you.

I locked eyes with the guy across the room and a sense of deja vu hit me, I felt like I had seen him before, his presence was comforting and intriguing, although in my head I knew he was a complete stranger. I felt a pull towards him, like he was a piece of a puzzle that was missing from my life.

I knew something was brewing.

Something big.

Important.

Life-changing.

The way he looked at me consumed me in ways I never thought possible. There was a predatory yet captivating glare in his eyes. As if I was the answer to every question he ever had. His eyes were blue, maybe green, but mostly blue. I couldn’t tear my eyes away from his, they were so bright, so blinding, so fucking true.

The scar on his eyebrow caught my attention first. There was a patch of hair gone, sliced right down the middle, and left in its place was the memory of what made him almost lose his eye. If it had been a few centimeters lower, it would have been gone like the hair.

His skin was slightly tan from the sun, but I could see a few freckles peeking through on the bridge of his nose and on the sides of his cheeks. He had facial hair all around the lower side of his face, I guess you could call it a beard.

He had dark brown, spiky hair, and with the lighting above us I could see hints of red scattered around. My eyes moved on their own accord from his face down to his body. It was then that I realized how big he was. His white V-neck shirt pressed tightly against his chest, while the sleeves barely held in his strong, defined, muscular arms. I had the sudden urge to feel them wrapped around me. He was tall, way taller than my five-foot-four frame. He had to be over six feet of solid muscle.

He was devastatingly handsome.

In a bad boy I want to fuck every part of you kind of way.

But that wasn’t what captured my attention. It was his scars. There were several down his arms, some on his neck. I only imagined he had to have more. They had to tell a story and I instantly wanted to see and touch every single one of them, as if they would tell me what happened to him.

He hadn’t moved from his place in front of me, still caging me with arms. I began to think his feet were glued to the floor beneath him. Smoke billowed up all around us, only adding to his tempting allure.

His lips were smooth when they brushed mine. I felt the sudden urge to feel them against me again, but deeper that time.

I bit my lip at the thought, and his eyes glazed over.

“What’s your name?” he asked, seeming caught off guard by his own question. Like he had never asked for a girl’s name before.

For first time since my parents died I wanted to say…

Daisy
.

I opened my mouth to reply but quickly asked, “What’s yours?” instead.

He smiled, big and wide. Displaying perfect white teeth.

“Austin.”

I noticed there was a slight southern drawl to his voice and had to resist the urge to ask him where he was from.

He raised his scarred eyebrow at me, waiting for my response.

“Briggs.”

He cocked his head to the side not sure if I was telling him the truth. I wasn’t used to telling people my name, it felt so foreign leaving my lips. I never had a reason to voice my name, people around me already knew. My little black cards were the reason why I was there. I went where my uncle ordered me to go.

“Is that your last name?”

I shook my head no.

“Your parents named you Briggs?” he questioned with a hint of teasing in his tone.

“Your parents named you Austin?” I fired back with the same tone.  

He chuckled. “Feisty.”

Standing upright, moving away from me and taking his warmth with him. I immediately missed it.

He hit the blunt again and then handed it over to me. I tried to hide my disappointment, I wanted to feel his lips on mine again. I shook away all the new and unfamiliar feelings, stepping away from him to walk over to the railing.

I hit the blunt a few times, waiting for him to join me. It took longer than it should have, and I was suddenly subconscious about what he was thinking that made him waver and stay by the sliding door where I left him. When I felt his presence next to me, I thought he would lean over the railing to look out at the water like I was.

He didn’t.

He stood close beside me, leaning up against the railing, his left forearm holding up all his weight. His eyes placed intently on the side of my face, looking through me. Not at me.

I cleared my throat and swallowed hard. My heart beating rapidly with the effect he was having on me.

“So,
Briggs
, you from Miami?”

My nerves were set on fire. A hot blaze ran steady through my body. It was like nothing I had ever felt before. He had me questioning who he was and how he had this hold on me. I hated and loved the newfound feeling he was producing deep within my core.

It was mind-boggling.

I had been around some of the most powerful, corrupt men in the entire world and didn’t bat an eye. They didn’t even fucking faze me anymore. Yet, there I was anxious and nervous about a guy I had only just met. Acting like the teenage girl I was supposed to be and not the fucked up prodigy I’d become.

The connection and pull he had on me was making me want to reveal my truths, and that scared the shit out of me.

“How old are you?”

I shrugged, unable to find my voice.

I knew I was making a complete ass out of myself, but I wasn’t used to talking to ordinary people. All the acquaintances in my life were business transactions.

I handed him back the blunt, not answering his questions.

He eyed me cautiously.

It was too much to take in, and I was making a fool of myself anyway. I pushed off the railing.

“Thanks for the smoke," I said with a nod.

I didn’t give him time to answer. I quickly turned to leave, but he caught my arm, stopping me.

Our eyes connected.

“Where you goin’?” he asked, as if his whole world was about to walk away from him.

I smiled. I couldn’t help it.

“I got a smile,” he added, reaching out with his other hand like he was catching my expression in the air and placed it near his heart.

“I’ll keep that one. Who knows when I’ll get to see it again.”

I laughed, giving him a huge smile that time. He groaned, setting his hand over his heart again, bowing his head in a dramatic gesture.

“Now, you’re just tryin’ to kill me, baby.”

Baby…

I blushed, grinning like a damn schoolgirl. When he unexpectedly pulled me toward him, for a brief moment I thought he was going to wrap me in his arms, but at the last second he set me right next to him by the railing.

“What’s a guy got to do around here to get you to talk to him, huh?”

I shrugged, that time I was just fucking with him.

“Damn, I take two steps forward and three steps back. I won't complain… I got a smile, didn’t I?”

I grinned.

We passed the blunt back and forth a few more times in comfortable silence and then he threw the roach over the railing.

“Where you from, Austin?” I blurted what I had been thinking since the second I laid eyes on him.

His mouth dropped open in another dramatic gesture. “Wow. She speaks, I had no idea. I was beginning to think it was me.” He smiled. “I do believe I asked you first though. Nice try."

He reached over, softly gripping the back of my neck, smirking at me. I realized pretty quickly that he liked to have his hands on me in one way or another, and I recognized even faster that I liked it.

“North Carolina,” he answered, anyway.  

“Ah.” I nodded. “A down South boy. I guess it’s true what they say about Southern charm.”

“Baby, you have no idea. I’m just getting started.”

I didn’t falter, I loved the way he was looking at me too much. “Washington,” I revealed, shocking myself.

My eyes immediately widened by the truth of my response. It just came out of nowhere, a slip of the tongue. The last time I said I was from Washington my parents were alive and I was six years old. 

“Hey…” he coaxed, taking in my stunned expression.

He took his finger and lifted my chin to look deep into his eyes. I shook my head, stepping back and away from him. He cocked his head to the side confused by the turn in events.

This was too much. He was stirring up too many emotions in me.

I couldn’t do this. It wasn’t fair.

Not to
him
.

I wasn’t meant to be this person. Maybe I was in another life, maybe in another time, maybe in another world. In this one, I was a Martinez.

So I just turned around…

And left.

I looked for her.

Briggs.

I couldn’t find her anywhere. It was like she fell off the face of the earth or was a figment of my imagination. I spent two weeks, two fucking weeks trying to find her in Miami clubs, bars, and random house parties to no avail. I gave up my search, losing all hope in finding the blue-eyed angel.

The first place I traveled outside of Miami was Washington. I didn’t even realize it until I was getting off at the bus stop, I was in Brigg's home state. My subconscious must have taken over, thinking it would be easy to find the girl with purple hair and tattoos among millions of faces.

The girl I knew nothing about but her name. I couldn’t get her out of my head.  I gave up searching for her after a few weeks, even though I didn’t want to. 

 I’d met a few young transients like me, traveling with just the clothes on their backs and the bag over their shoulders. Wanting to see the world and everything life on the road had to offer.

I learned pretty quickly that money runs out fast, and there were times I slept under a bridge, on the beach, or in an alley. I had been fucked with a few times, so I realized safety was in numbers. I had been to Colorado, Nevada, and Louisiana, to name a few, in the last six months. I left Ohio eight months ago and never looked back. I had sent a few postcards to my parents and Alex from random places over the last eight months, but I hadn’t spoken to anyone since I left.

Now I was in Michigan freezing my fucking balls off in the dead of winter. One of the guys I was traveling with wanted to see The Great Lakes and snowboard Boyne Mountain. The second we stepped off the train I regretted my decision immediately. Why the fuck anyone would want to live in this miserable cold was beyond me. I usually worked construction or bartending to make some money wherever we traveled, depending on what was in demand.

In Michigan… there was no work.

We found ourselves in Detroit under an overpass on I-75 with a can and match. We lit a fire and it still wasn’t doing anything to appease the subzero air all around us.

“We’re going to fucking freeze out here,” Heather said as her boyfriend Ross hugged her tighter into his body trying to generate more warmth.

They’d started traveling with us about three months before. We met them in Las Vegas one night when we were fucked up on the strip. There were six of us now, and she was the only girl. I would be lying if I said I wasn’t jealous of their relationship. They always had each other’s backs, no matter what. It was easy to get lonely traveling around from place to place. 

I never thought I would want to share this experience with someone.

That was an unexpected surprise.

“She’s right, we’re going to fucking freeze,” I stated, trying to blow warm air into my hands.

It was no use. Nothing would work, it was just too damn cold. The pain pills I bought off the street weren’t even numbing me up anymore. My back ached from the frigid weather. I never believed it when people said the cold could fuck with your bones.

“Fuck this.” I stood, walking away. “I’ll be back.”

“Where you going?” Mike called out behind me.

“I’ll be back,” I repeated, debating if I was really going to do this.

I saw an ATM up the road earlier in the day, and I would be lying if I said it didn’t cross my mind to stop at it as soon as we walked past it. If it wasn’t so goddamn cold I would never even think about doing this, but we were going to die out here tonight if we didn’t find a warm place to sleep. I pulled out my wallet from my back pocket, opening it up to grab my ATM card. The same one my parents gave me when I left for college. I hadn’t used it once since I left, but at this point what other choice did I have. I pushed the card into the machine, typing in my code and asking for a hundred bucks. That would get us a few rooms at a shitty a model, but at least we would be warm.

I desperately wanted to take a hot shower. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d had a decent shower. We always washed up in public bathrooms on the road. You didn’t realize the simple luxuries you had until you didn’t have them anymore.

The machine beeped, rejecting my card.

Declined.

“The fuck?”

I grabbed it, shoving it back in. Repeating the same steps.

Declined.

I shook my head, baffled. Leaving the card where it was to find the nearest payphone. I would give my parents the benefit of the doubt. Maybe they thought I would lose it and shut it off to avoid fraud and protect themselves. I could understand that. If that were the case, they would definitely wire me some money if I told them where I was and why I needed it.

No matter what they were still my parents.

“Austin,” I said to the operator, calling my parents collect.

“Austin,” Mom greeted after a few rings. Her voice laced with worry.

“Hey, Ma,” I replied, grateful she was the one that answered.

“Where are you? Are you okay?”

“I’m in Detroit, and I’m fine. It’s just—” She didn't let me finish.

“Come home. Listen, I know it’s been rough for you since the accident, okay? Just come home, honey. We’ll figure it out.”

“Ma, there’s nothing for me to come home to.”

She sighed.

“I promise. I’m fine. I just need you to wire me some money. Trust me, I wouldn’t be asking if I didn’t really need it.”

“Austin…”

“Please. I’m in Detroit, and there’s no work. It’s freezing out, and I have nowhere to sleep tonight.”

“Oh, Austin…” She began to sob.

“Ma, I’m fine. I swear. I’ll come home when I’m ready.”

“Where do I wire the money to?”

“There’s a Western Union in—”

“Is that Austin? Wiring what money?” I heard my dad ask in the background.

“Joseph—”

“Give me the phone. Austin?”

“Hey, Dad," I replied calmly, waiting for the wrath of my father.

“Well, look who finally decides to call. Do you have any idea what your mother has been going through? Do you have any idea what you have been putting us through?”

“I’ve been sending postcards, telling you I'm alive and fine."

“That makes it okay? That makes it better? You drop out of college without even discussing it with us and disappear. For months!” he argued.

I leaned my arm and forehead against the payphone. Not wanting to have this fucking conversation. I just needed money this once to survive the night.

“I knew you wouldn’t approve. I knew you wouldn’t understand.”

“You bet your ass I don’t understand! After everything we have done for you!”

“Dad, I’m fine. I’ll come home when I’m ready to.”

“What are you doing in the meantime, huh? Partying? Wasting your life away? Where are you?”

“I’m in Detroit. I’ve been working and getting by for the last eight months, Dad. Believe it or not, I’m capable of taking care of myself?”

“Then why are you calling? After all this time? Why not just send another postcard.”

I took a deep breath. “It’s freezing out and there’s no work. I tried to use my ATM card but it was denied—”

“Of course it was. I told you. I warned you… I gave you a chance to get your shit together. I’m not going to support you wasting your life away. I cut you off the second you left. You want to fuck up your life then you do it on your own dime. I’m not paying for it.”

My eyes widened, jerking my head back in shock.

“Wow… you didn’t even think I could do it on my own,” I stated as a question. "You’ve never believed in me."

“Why would I? You obviously proved my point or you wouldn’t be calling asking for money. Now would you?”

I scoffed. “Do me a favor, old man, and don’t worry. This won't cost you anything, except your son, which doesn’t seem to matter to you anyway. The next time you wonder where I am… if I’m dead or alive? Just remember this conversation. I have no friends, and now…” I paused to let my words sink in.

“I have no parents.” I hung up.

It fucking killed me to say that to him. At the end of the day they were still my parents, regardless of all the bullshit.

I love them.

I stood there feeling like a huge piece of my heart was torn out, breaking on the concrete beneath my feet. I wanted them to understand it wasn’t about the money or them cutting me off. I could do this on my own. I was grown-ass man, an adult. I guess I was just expecting unconditional love.

Isn’t that what parents are supposed to do? No matter what?

The phone ringing pulled me out of my internal struggle. I debated on answering it, but my hand moved on it’s own and before I knew it, the phone was against my ear.

“Austin…” Mom coaxed, her voice a soft whisper.

I leaned my head against the payphone, not caring how cold the metal was. My eyes burned so damn bad from the tears waiting to fall. I had closed my lids to keep them at bay and relieve the ache.

“Austin… please keep sending me postcards. Just tell me where to send the money, but please don’t stop letting me know you’re safe. I don’t care where you are or what you’re doing. I just need to know you’re okay,” she added.

I listened intently, holding back the tears that threatened to fall, one by one, right after the other.

“We love you, Austin. Your dad is just hurt. You’re our baby. Austin... Austin, do you hear me? I love you.”

A single tear fell from my face and I murmured, “I love you, too.”

And I hung up the phone.