Crossing the Line (31 page)

Chapter 24

Paul stepped out of the shower on Monday morning with a smile on his face. Of course, that probably had a lot to do with how he’d been awakened. Not by an alarm clock, but by Megan. He’d opened his eyes to find her poised between his legs. It was one of those things wet dreams were made of, and he hadn’t been dreaming.

When he arrived home late Saturday afternoon, they’d worked side by side in the kitchen to make dinner, and then spent the rest of the evening curled up on the couch watching a movie. It was a stark contrast to the high energy of the dance club, but that hadn’t seemed to matter to either of them. 

That night they once again slept in his bedroom—as they did Sunday night. Megan hadn’t asked him about the change in venue, but he hoped she understood the significance. It was a big step for him, letting her into his personal space.

He was also trying to open up more and let her into his life. Although the thought of messing up again still haunted him, Paul was determined to give this relationship a go. Megan made him feel alive. When he saw that teasing glint in her eye, his heart skipped a beat. He was, beyond a shadow of a doubt, in love. 

As Paul continued getting ready for work, he mused over the rest of their weekend. They’d spent Sunday working outside in the backyard. Megan and Chloe had started a flower garden along the back of the house, so Megan worked on that while he did the mowing and trimming. It was incredibly normal, and yet in some ways it felt extremely intimate to him. 

After a long day outside, they’d ended up in his shower together. Megan had introduced him to shower sex. It might sound strange, but he and Melissa had never showered together, with the exception of her last two weeks of pregnancy. She’d had difficulty washing, and so he’d stepped in and helped. There hadn’t been anything sexual about it, however. His wife had been miserable at the time as she counted down the days until Chloe was born.

Lifting his shirt collar, Paul situated his tie, and secured it around his neck. He flipped the collar down, and reached for his belt and holster. 

Sometimes it felt odd to compare Melissa and Megan. They were complete opposites. But Paul supposed it was natural. Melissa had been the only other woman in his life. Outside of his parents, his relationship with her was the only thing he could use as a guide. 

Although Megan was night and day different in personality to Melissa, there were similarities. He and Melissa used to stay up late into the night talking. It didn’t matter the subject. More than once they’d both gotten in trouble with their parents for staying up well after midnight chatting on the phone when they were supposed to be asleep. Obviously with Megan, it was different—he was no longer a teenager sneaking around to talk to his girlfriend, but conversation came as easily with Megan as it had with Melissa. 

There was also the chemistry. With Melissa, it had been a slow burning fire that would consume him. Megan drew from that same fire, but it was more of a flash flame. Every time he touched her, he wanted everything she had to offer and then some. 

Slipping his jacket on, Paul made his way downstairs. When he strolled into the kitchen, Megan was flipping eggs, and humming to herself. She turned to smile at him when she heard him enter the room. “Did you enjoy your shower?”

That glint in her eye was back, and it had his body reacting despite the recent release it had. He walked over to where she was standing in front of the stove, and pulled her back against him with more force than necessary. “Yes, I enjoyed my shower. But not nearly as much as my wake-up call.”

She giggled, and pushed him away with her hips. “Go pour yourself some coffee. Breakfast will be ready soon.”

Normally he grabbed a muffin or some cereal before heading out to work, but he wasn’t going to turn down a hot breakfast. 

Doing as he was told, he went to retrieve his mug from the dishwasher. His hand covered the mug, and he froze. 

Megan noticed. “Is something wrong?”

He shook his head and removed his hand. “No. Nothing’s wrong.”

Closing his eyes, he took a moment to let the conflicting emotions flow through him, and then searched in the cabinets for another mug for his coffee.

She didn’t comment until she brought their food to the table and sat down beside him. “You’re not using your regular coffee mug. Was there something wrong with it? Did the dishwasher not get it clean or something?”

Paul breathed deep and took a sip of his black coffee. It was bitter. He’d gotten used to having it doctored up with sugar and cream. He didn’t look at Megan as he spoke. “It was Melissa’s mug. She used it every morning for her coffee. I-I found it in the dishwasher the morning after the funeral.”

Megan placed her hand over his. It was the only reaction she made to the information he shared.

“I don’t know why, but I took it out and started using it. I even made my coffee the way she used to—three quarters coffee, two sugars, and fill the rest of the mug with milk. It was strangely comforting, so I kept doing it.”

He looked up to find moisture in Megan’s eyes. It wasn’t the reaction he’d been expecting. But then again, Megan usually surprised him.

She blinked. “It made you feel close to her.”

Paul nodded.

Their eggs were getting cold, but neither of them seemed to care. 

They stared at each other for what felt like an eternity before Megan broke the silence. “You don’t have to stop. Not because of me.”

He glanced down at their hands—now clasped together on the table between them. “Yes, I do. This morning I realized that I was holding on to the past. Melissa isn’t ever coming back, and no matter what I do, or how I drink my coffee, there is nothing I can do to change that. I can’t give Chloe her mother back.”

There was a catch in his voice as he said that last part. It was what he’d felt guilty about more than anything. His choices five years ago had stolen Chloe’s mother away from her. That was something he would never forgive himself for.

“Paul, you didn’t kill Melissa.” Megan’s voice was soft and soothing. She was more than he deserved. 

“I did.” 

Megan opened her mouth again to contradict him, but he cut her off. 

“That’s why I want you to know that I’m going to try my best not to make the same mistake again.”

He looked her in the eye and took a deep breath. “I love you, Megan. I don’t deserve this second chance, but for some reason you think I’m worth it, and I’m tired of fighting. You make me feel whole again.”

Tears ran freely down her cheeks, and Megan didn’t bother brushing them away. “You love me?”

Paul scooted his chair away from the table and knelt down beside her. He took her hands in between both of his and gazed up at her. “I’m sorry I pushed you away for so long. I know I must have hurt you.”

She sniffed. “Say it again, please.”

He rose up on his knees, bringing their faces level, and brushed her lips with his. “I love you.”

Megan made a sound somewhere between a laugh and a cry. “I love you, too.”

Their lips met in a heartfelt kiss.

“I don’t deserve you,” he mumbled.

She pressed her lips to his again. “Yes, you do.”

He’d said it. Paul had told her he loved her. Megan had no idea what it would mean for their future, but she did know it meant Paul wanted one—a future—with her. He wouldn’t have said it otherwise.

They had to warm up their breakfast in the microwave, but it was worth it. She kissed him goodbye, and started in on some housework. With Chloe gone, there wasn’t much to do. Paul was surprisingly neat for a bachelor. 

Megan was practically skipping as she got into her car around midday and drove into town. Since Chloe wasn’t with her, she stopped off at the mall to pick up a few non-food items at her favorite department store. One could never have too many bra and panty sets, especially when there was someone to show them off to. 

It turned out the store was having a sale, so Megan took her time going through all the items and picking out the ones she liked the best. She couldn’t wait to see Paul’s face when he saw them. One set was made of a very thin see-through material. She’d tried the bra on in the fitting room, and delighted at how it left very little to the imagination. It almost reminded her of those wet T-shirt contests, without the need for water.

As Megan was checking out, she had the distinct feeling that someone was watching her. She glanced behind her, but didn’t see anyone looking in her direction. Everyone in her line of sight was busy shopping.

Taking her purchases, Megan walked back out into the main area of the mall. She didn’t need anything else, but since it was rare she had the time to shop without a five-year-old in tow, she decided to browse. The whole time she felt as if something was off, but when she couldn’t spot any valid reason for it, Megan pawned it off as paranoia.

After a relaxing lunch in one of the mall restaurants, she headed back to her car. She still had grocery shopping to do, and she wanted to make sure she had plenty of time to get home and cook dinner. 

The grocery store was a little more crowded than she was used to. That was probably because it was later in the day. When she brought Chloe along with her, they typically came early in the morning. It was already after two. 

Driving home was another exercise in patience. There was an accident and one of the main roads had been closed off. They were detouring everyone five miles out of their way in order to get around it. Megan was hoping the ice cream she’d bought wouldn’t melt, considering it was nearly eighty degrees out. Air conditioning helped, but there was little she could do about the sun beating down in the backseat. 

Eventually, she made it on the other side of the detour. The rest of the drive was, thankfully, uneventful. 

She brought the food into the house and got it all put away before starting on dinner. There was a recipe she’d found online that she wanted to try, but it meant marinating the meat for at least two hours. 

With that task completed, Megan grabbed her shopping bags, and started upstairs to put her new lingerie away. As she reached the top of the stairs, the phone rang. Not knowing who it was, but hoping it was Paul, Megan ran the few remaining feet into her room, and snatched the receiver out of its cradle. “Hello?”

“You sound like you’re out of breath.” Her sister’s voice held a note of concern.

Megan felt a bit of disappointment that it wasn’t Paul. “I just got back from the store.”

“Get anything good?” Rebecca asked.

Setting her bags down on her bed, Megan began removing the items and laying them out on the mattress. She’d need to wash them before she could wear any of them. They’d all been in a large bin for people to sort through. It was hard to tell how many hands had been on them. “Just some new undies.”

Her sister was too quiet.

“What?” Megan asked.

“You went to the store specifically to buy underwear?”

Megan wasn’t getting what the big deal was. “Yeah.”

She heard Rebecca release a heavy sigh.

“Would you just spit it out already?” Her sister didn’t normally beat around the bush like this. 

“Your shopping trip wouldn’t have anything to do with that guy you were telling me about, would it?” Rebecca asked.

Why was it that her sister could make her feel as if she were twelve years old again and getting in trouble for eating a cookie before dinner? “Not entirely.”

“Oh, Megan.” 

She could hear Rebecca’s disappointment, but Megan refused to act ashamed of her relationship with Paul. Even though her sister had no idea Paul was the guy in question. “Don’t say it like that. You can’t tell me you’ve never bought sexy underwear to wear for Gage.”

“That’s different.”

“How’s it different?” Megan demanded.

“He’s my husband.”

“So you didn’t dress sexy for him until
after
you married him? Please. You may be a stick in the mud sometimes, Becca, but even I know better than that.” She hated fighting with her sister, but she wasn’t going to back down on this. Rebecca needed to stop treating her like a child.

Her sister didn’t answer immediately, and Megan was beginning to fear that Rebecca had run off in tears again. 

“I don’t want to see you get hurt again.”

Megan sighed and sat down on the edge of the bed. “He won’t hurt me. Not intentionally, anyway. You don’t have to worry.”

“So does that mean you and he are . . .”

“Yes.” Megan smiled thinking back to earlier that morning when Paul told her he loved her.

“I see. So does that mean I get to meet him?” Rebecca asked.

“It’s still new, but yeah. I think maybe we can arrange something soon.” Although she and Paul hadn’t talked about it in detail, they both knew that once Chloe returned home there would be no keeping their relationship secret. Given how their family was already connected, it would probably be better to come clean to everyone sooner rather than later.

“What’s he like? Tell me about him.”

Megan chuckled. “So the interrogation is about to start?”

“No interrogation. I promise. I’m just curious.”