Crossings: A Sovereign Guardians Novel (22 page)

I held up my hand, to stop his story for the moment.

"I still don't understand. How could they know that something was trying to hurt me? Why didn't they simply think those were freak accidents?"

Keller attempted to explain. "It's the same way you know when it's out there. They could feel it. And I know you've felt it in one degree or another your entire life. We both know it's been especially prominent since you moved back."

I shivered uncontrollably. I knew what the evil felt like. Hadn't I always believed it was out there, looking for me? If what Granger and Keller said was true, now I understood why. It had a claim on my soul.

"So, if my soul was promised all along, and now I'm back and the demon’s power is strongest here, then why hasn’t it simply taken it? What's it waiting for?" My words were filled with false bravado, and I was sure they both knew it.

“We don't think it is waiting,” Keller explained. “You've had several scares since you've been back. We believe it's actively trying to hurt you since Ms. Ellie made the decision to let you move back to Fairvue - a decision she made based on her love for you, and the hope that whatever it was had finally gone away when her son died since he'd made the original bargain. But in that belief, she was mistaken."

I blinked rapidly, trying to keep back tears that were threatening to spill. "Just explain to me, why am I still alive? Or better yet, you're my guardians, why can't you stop it?

Keller looked to Granger for help.

"Well," I demanded, "can you save me or not?"

Granger ran both of his hands through his hair. He opened his mouth to speak and then shut it again.

Finally he said, "If you live past your eighteenth birthday, you'll be safe. The entity thrives on young souls, otherwise it would have been satisfied with your father's as an exchange in the deal he made, and your father would have gladly made that exchange to keep you safe. But with the risk of sounding cliché, eighteen is the turning point from childhood into becoming an adult, and according to what we know, it's the magical age, if you'll pardon that description, for you as well. Your father promised the soul of his child to save his wife. Death felt we interfered and didn’t allow it the time it needed to save your mother. Because it believes we interfered, and there was no exchange, the demon believes it is still owed your soul. Once you’re eighteen and no longer a child, the time to collect on your father’s deal will finally be over, and you'll be safe."

Frustrated and having so much that I couldn't wrap my head around, I yelled at them both. "Then why hasn't it already killed me? I’m home where you say its powers are the strongest. Why all this cloak and dagger nonsense? Why not just get things over with and take my soul?

"Look, as much as it might want to claim your soul, there are rules in the universe. Death can't simply walk up and grab it. It doesn't work like that. A soul leaves a body when it dies. For your soul to be taken, you will have to die, again."

I'm going to die before I turn eighteen.
The words, going round and round in my head, poured from my lips without me even realizing I had spoken.

"We aren't going to let that happen. Have you listened to nothing we've said for the last hour?" Keller demanded angrily, slamming his fist on the wooden table, his chair flipping backwards, crashing against the wooden floor.

"Can't you see she's in shock?" Granger said to Keller. "Did you really think we could talk to her without there being some type of an adjustment period to everything we've told her? It's too much to understand all at once, Keller."

Keller paced the kitchen like a wild animal held too long in a cage. He flexed his hands in frustration and circled the room before finally coming to stand in front of me. He bent down lower so we were face to face. Tentatively, his fingers reached out and laced themselves between mine. Without even thinking, my hand responded and grasped his.

I knew what he felt when he touched me because I felt it down to my bones.

Ice.

Everything about me was cold. I could barely stop my teeth from chattering, I was so numb.

My mind raced with all they had told me. Granger and Keller were sovereign guardians sent to protect me. Sent from where? I wasn't exactly clear on that part yet, but I was very clear that without their help, it was likely I would not live past my eighteenth birthday, less than a week away.

Surely there could be no truth in what they had told me. I wanted to think they were both crazy, and maybe I was crazy, too. But deep down I knew they weren't and neither was I.

The sensations I'd had again and again, that something was out there, trying to hurt me - the way I knew something was different about both Granger and Keller - the way my father had treated me growing up, all confirmed what they said was true. And then there were the silver talismans they each wore. Keller’s ring and Granger’s chain, both infused with the same design, apparently containing some type of special power when touched by my guardians, these boys who swore they were sent to protect me.

I wanted to hear more of the story, and I wanted to hear nothing more at all.

Granger was right; it really was too much.

A hysterical laugh bubbled inside of me and spilled out. If the looks being exchanged between Keller and Granger could be used as a barometer for my well-being, I would say they both believed I was on the verge of having a complete breakdown, and they were probably right.

When I looked at Keller, I saw that for once his face was open and easy to read. He'd made a decision.

"Give us some time, Granger. Alone."

Maybe Granger heard what I saw. Keller wasn't to be argued with. Not now.

Granger got up from his own seat and gave my shoulder another quick squeeze. Then he walked over and set the chair upright that Keller had knocked to the floor before quietly slipping out the back.

My eyes stayed on Keller, but I knew Granger was gone when I heard the door latch. The entire time he was preparing to go, Keller stayed in front of me, his thumbs rubbing across my fingers and over the backs of my hands. The connection to him seemed to be the only thing keeping me from falling apart.

Without a word, Keller leaned over and scooped me up into his arms. I startled in protest, but even to my own ears, my complaint sounded weak.

He was still touching me.

He was still touching me.

He was still touching me.

I wouldn’t fall apart.

Cradled against the broad expanse of his chest, too exhausted to even try and fight, I gave in and leaned my head wearily against him. Keller had no trouble carrying my extra weight as he walked to the top of the stairs and then kicked open my bedroom door.

Chapter Twelve

I didn't protest when Keller sat us both on my bed or even when he moved me so that my own back rested against his chest while he leaned back against the headboard. His hands made quick work of my blanket, bringing it up to cover our legs. His chin rubbed against the top of my head, and I could feel his breath, warm and even across my skin.

Caught between the security of the blanket and the heart emanating from his body, his arms tightly wrapped around me, I began to feel again. The numbness began to reside, and the shock of what I had been told was almost bearable.

I nudged Keller with my elbow to loosen his hold, and his small grunt of pain gave me more satisfaction than I cared to admit.

"Why," I asked him, "even in my darkest moments, are you always trying to get me into bed with you?"

"Trying, sweetheart?" Keller let out his old, familiar laugh. "Please, I think I might argue that I've actually succeeded this time."

My face broke into a shy, answering smile. He was right, and I was too exhausted to beg him to move. I felt safe for the first time in hours. If he tried to move away from me, I would be reduced to begging him to stay.

I felt his lips brush the top of my head, and then Keller's head dipped lower, and his cheek rested against mine. "Do you want to talk about it yet?"

Sighing, I knew there was no easy answer to Keller's question. Did I want to talk about it?

Probably not.

Was it important that I make sure I understood everything I'd been told tonight?

Obviously.

So, ready or not, I didn't have much choice, and I was certain his question had only been Keller attempting to be polite. What a strange time for him to choose to be a gentleman, I mused.

"I need to ask you a few more questions," I began, "to make sure I really understand, if that’s even possible. Do you mind?"

The shake of his head against my cheek confirmed his answer and I knew he was ready to listen, but being this close to him made it hard for me to think clearly.

"You know, Keller, I've stopped shivering. I think it might be better if we sat side by side. You've got me wrapped up so tight I can hardly breathe, much less talk.” I tried to lean where I could see him. “Or was that your intention all along?"

Keller's laughter rang through the room. Shivers of another sort ran along my arms as the sound of him reverberated off my bedroom walls and wrapped me in a different type of warmth.

Surprisingly, without argument, he gracefully unwound himself from around me and adjusted the blanket until we were sitting side by side and using the headboard to support our backs. Only our arms were touching now, but it was enough to still make my breathing slightly off.

"Better?"

Probably not
, I thought, but I answered, "Much. Thank you."

The look in his eyes told me he knew what I was thinking, but still playing the gentleman for now, he let me have my imagined moment of victory.

Keller reached across the blanket and pulled my unresisting hand into his own as if he needed to still touch me in whatever way I would allow him.

"So," he let out a deep breath, "why don't you talk this time, and I'll listen for awhile."

I bit my lip, realizing that I had the same dilemma Granger had mentioned earlier. I wasn't sure where to start. So, I just dived right in.

"You aren't from around here, then?"

"No,” he laughed under his breath, “Granger and I are definitely not locals."

I nodded my head as though I already knew that, but hearing him say it again made a thousand questions flood through my mind. "Are you immortal?"

Keller's hand stilled a moment before he gripped mine tighter. "No, I'm not immortal. This age is...simply the age I am for now. Timeless might be a better word to describe a guardian."

"Timeless?"

"I'm actually quite human. I have a soul. I have a heartbeat, love, and I know you've felt that and other things about me, so you can tell I'm quite a lot like your average teenage boy."

I couldn't stop the blush that rose in my cheeks remembering how close I'd been to him before, and how very human I knew he was. Not wanting my thoughts to go there, I blurted out, "So, human guardian, how old are you?"

Keller shook his head. "I don't really know. I'm being honest," he rushed on before I could accuse him of lying. "Guardians are chosen as babies. None of us remember it, but to become a sovereign guardian of the heavens, something had to happen where those chosen to serve in the role never had the chance to live on Earth. Once someone is selected, the child is raised to have specific duties which include watching over other humans when needed and to help when someone crosses over."

Keller's eyes narrowed, choosing his words carefully. "Sweetheart, I know it's hard for you to understand, and there's much that, honestly, I'm not allowed to explain. I mean, you do understand we're talking about a greater power here so there has to be some topics that are off limits. I do think it's important for you to know I've always been happy there. We don’t spend our time looking down on Earth. It doesn’t work like that, but we can tell when something is wrong, and we take the assignments we are given to correct any disturbances seriously. I've always been proud to be a guardian, and I never thought I wanted anything else."

I stared at our entwined hands, wondering if I had imagined the unspoken words of “until now” that might have followed the rest of his statement.

My brow furrowed as another thought crossed my mind. “Keller, if I had stayed and not crossed back, would I have become a guardian, too? Would I have been there, with you, this entire time?"

He shook his head from side to side. "No. You had your mother waiting on the other side, so you would have gone on with her. Only children who have no one waiting for them are considered to become sovereign guardians."

“You keep saying that word, sovereign. What exactly do you mean?”

Keller shrugged his shoulder causing his arm to move over mine. Even such a slight touch sent shivers all through me. I was certain my reaction had to confirm I was out of my mind crazy because with all I had learned tonight, there was no way my brain or my body should still be focused on all the sensations Keller Jones made me feel.

The words
heaven help me
ran through my mind, but I was quite certain heaven was sitting right beside me in bed causing most of the thoughts that were giving me...problems.

I forced myself to focus as Keller attempted to explain.

“There are different types of guardians in the heavens. Granger and I are sovereign guardians. We have freedom to come and go as needed for the assignments we are given, but we always have to return. It’s different for some of the other guardians. Some never leave. Others can choose where they go.

Wanting to know more, I asked, "Have you and Granger always worked together?"

Keller laughed out loud. "Granger and I aren't joined at the hip, you know. We don't always do everything together. There are more guardians than simply the two of us. But have we always been friends? Yes, although his situation is somewhat different than mine. Granger was never really alone; he has a brother and a sister. They're triplets."

I tried to imagine a world with two more people who looked like Granger. Seeming to read my mind, Keller explained, "They aren't identical, sweetheart. Bradley really doesn't act or even look much like Granger. Colleen, I guess, resembles him the most in both looks and actions."

Keller shrugged his shoulders and added, "I'll admit I'm sometimes jealous he has true siblings and I don't. We're all family, of course, but I've often thought it must be nice to have someone you're close to like that. Being a triplet is a special bond, much different than being by yourself."

I was still having a hard time imagining Granger with family I'd never met, when another thought suddenly entered my head.

"If you don't know who your parents are, then how did you get your last names?"

A smile that was just big enough to bring out Keller's dimple erupted on his face. "Now that part was fun. Normally we aren’t on Earth long enough to even bother with last names, but this time we had to get settled here, and we knew we needed believable identities in case you came back home to stay. We couldn’t simply keep using our shields on everyone, making them believe we belonged here. Real identities meant last names, and we got to choose.”

He laughed again, like he had some private joke before he added, “I thought Jones was a name that wouldn't raise suspicion, and I liked the sound of Keller Jones."

"And the Panera?" I prodded further, thinking of Granger.

This time there was no holding back the laugh that escaped past his lips. "Granger's last name was all thanks to his stomach. We went there, to the restaurant, one day and he ordered three different meals from the menu plus two desserts from the bakery section, and he ate every bite. All he could think about the next day and the day after that was going back and getting more food. I tagged him with name, and after that - it just stuck, kind of like the ten extra pounds he picked up before he finally backed off driving into Nashville and eating out every day."

I smiled, imagining Keller and Granger trying to choose their own last names and thinking the extra pounds hadn’t caused Granger Panera any permanent damage, as an image of him without his shirt on popped unbidden into my head.

"What else can I tell you that will help assuage your insatiable curiosity?" Keller teased, lightly jabbing me in the side with his elbow.

I thought about how many things I still wanted to know, trying to narrow down my questions to the most important, knowing that even if we stayed up all night, I’d never be able to have all the information I wanted from him. I was also cognizant there were going to be a lot of things he simply wasn’t allowed to share with me. I knew I would have to be okay with that, even if right now it seemed like it would be hard to accept.

“So,” I began slowly, carefully deciding what I most wanted to know. "Where was my Gran the night I was born?"

"Out on a date with Mr. Mac."

Keller shifted more towards me as he continued. "Do you know it's the reason she won't accept the one hundred marriage proposals he's thrown her way? She blames herself for not being there when you were born. She thinks if she hadn't been out with Mac, then maybe things would have turned out differently. Not marrying the love of her life is her way of making a sacrifice that compares to what you had to go through by leaving home."

"That's crazy! She has nothing to apologize for. She did everything she could for me."

Keller didn’t say anything, and I let it go because I knew there was nothing we could do right now that would help change things.

I still had so many questions I wanted answered, and despite my exhaustion, it seemed like now was the best time to ask.

"Can you explain some other things to me? Like, you mentioned that you can shield people? I don't really understand what that means except that you seem to use it to make people calm or get them to agree with you. Thinking back on things, I would guess it has something to do with your ring and Granger's necklace. Does the silver help you communicate? Do you use the items to help you travel back and forth? Wait! Maybe you shouldn't answer that question because I'm not sure I want to know. I keep picturing something like a scene out of
Star Trek
, and my brain can’t handle much more right now.”

I looked at him from the corner of my eye to judge how well he was handling my fountain of questions before I added a few more. “Does shielding help you bend people's thoughts when you need to? Is that why my head was all fuzzy that day at school when Granger and I were headed to registration?"

I was struggling with so many things Granger and Keller had told me, but this was especially hard to accept. If shielding was what I thought it was - losing control, taking away a person's free will, it made me wonder how much of what I'd done in the last couple of months, or what I'd felt for that matter, was even real.

Keller's brow furrowed as he tried to explain. "When you describe it like that, we do sound pretty horrible, but it's not like you think it is. I mean, yes, we do use our pieces of silver as a talisman, if you will, to be able to bring the power of the heavens with us."

He arched one perfect eyebrow as he spoke. "And yes, we do harness the power to be able to move back and forth from the heavens to here.”

His eyes were serious as he continued. “Granger and I are skimming around the edges of a lot of unspoken rules tonight by even explaining as much as we have to you. There are some things I can't tell you, and I am sorry, but if the
Star Trek
image works for you, then just hang on to that one."

He leaned over and kissed me, his lips briefly touching mine, before he settled back beside me.

"Sorry, but you needed that. You looked like you might be going back into shock."

Before I could argue that kissing me was not the way to revive me, I quickly changed my mind. The tingling from my toes to the tip of my head was definitely a delicious experience that had nothing to do with shock.