Cruiser (14 page)

I run my lips down her throat. “You’re not a horrible person. You’re the most amazing person out there.” To me, she is. Nothing she does can change that.

She strokes my cheek. “What about Rey? If we want to try us again, we need to tell him.”

“I’ll tell him.”

“You sure?”

“He’ll take it better from me.”

She bites down on her lip. “He’ll be so hurt.”

I finger her
bottom lip. “He’s my brother and he loves me. He’ll understand.”

Her hands come around me. Hug me close. “I hope so.”

Her eyes scan my face. Then she grabs the back of my head and hauls my mouth to hers. She unbuttons the top two buttons of my shirt and slips her hands inside. Rubs them over my chest. My skin cells jump around like their asses are on fire.

“Cruise
.”

“Yeah?” My voice is just as heavy
as hers.

“
I want to talk about that night.”

Lex

Cruiser rolls away from me. He combs his fingers through his messy hair, his eyes anywhere but on me. Then he takes a deep breath and releases it. “This won’t be easy.”

I shuffle closer, my knees sliding across the cold, tiled floor. My uniform needs another round at the cleaners. Cruiser
is pressed against the wall, his arms crossed over his chest. Some locks of hair fall into his eyes.

I touch his arm. “It’s okay.”

I shift closer and rest my back against the wall. Drawing up my knees to my chest, I wrap my arms around them.

We sit in silence for a few minutes. I stare at the storage
room door. There’s a small window there, but I can’t see anything going on out front. Is the shop packed or empty? Are customers asking for Cruiser to serve them?

“
I was messed up,” Cruiser says in a low voice. “Felt like shit after what happened to Rosie. Felt like even more shit when you rejected me.”

Tears enter my eyes. “I was messed up, too.” I bury my face in my knees. “I was so hurt. I blamed you. I’m so sorry.”

I feel him scoot over and wrap his arm around my shoulder. “It’s okay.”

“Then I saw you messing around with other girls. I thought you liked me.” Tears seep into my
skirt. “That hurt so much. I really liked you.”

Cruiser draws me to his chest. I uncurl my arms from around my knees and fold into his arms.

“When I was ready to forgive you, it was too late,” I say into his chest.

He rubs my back and buries his face in my hair. “I shouldn’t have given up on you,” he murmurs. “On us. I was a coward. I chose to take out my feelings by sleeping around.” He curses. “I hate myself for that.”

I lift my head and stare into his eyes. He has tears in them, too. “Don’t hate yourself, Cruiser. We were both so hurt and confused.” I raise my hand and touch his cheek. “But that’s all in the past. We’ve both changed. We need to forgive each other and ourselves, and move on.”

Cruiser’s lips stretch into a small smile. Then his gaze lowers to my neck, to my necklace that’s peeking out from
inside my uniform. I forgot to take it off. His smile turns into a pained one. “Forget about everything and just live in the moment?” His hand closes around the heart pendant. “I picked this out, you know,” he says in such a soft voice I’m not sure I hear right.

“What?”

His gaze goes back to my face. “I went to the jewelry store with Rey the day I got back.” He tugs on the necklace. “Rey trusted I chose right.”

I look down at the pendant sitting
in Cruiser’s palm. A warm feeling invades my heart and gets pumped to every inch of my body. “This…it was your idea?”

“Was Rey’s idea to buy the gift. Was my idea what to buy.”

I loop my arms around his neck and look up at his face. “You knew it was for me?”

He nods.
“Was pissed at first because I didn’t know you were together. But I knew what you’d love. I know you so well, T. Rex.”

“
You do. I love it. Thanks so much.” I close my hand around it. I won’t wear it in public because I don’t want to hurt Rey, but I’ll keep it in a special place.

Cruiser’s
arms circle around me, hugging me close. Every part of me heats up, like I’m standing outside in one hundred and two degrees.

I bring my lips to his, slowly, until they touch. Cruiser opens his mouth, but I pull away. “Tell me about the Navy, Cruise,” I say.

He slides a hand to my head and yanks off my ponytail holder. My hair rolls down, and I suddenly feel self-conscious because I know it’s not soft or luscious. Just one big hulk of knots.

Cruiser threads his fingers through the strands. “What about the Navy?”

I try not to moan as he massages my scalp. It feels so
good
. What did he say? All I can think about is this amazing feeling.

“So beautiful,” I hear him mutter. “You’re so beautiful, T. Rex.”

He called me beautiful. Tears practically choke me and I bite down before I start crying a rainstorm.
He called me beautiful
.

I love you
, my head says. I think I always have.

Cruiser lowers me to the floor and kisses me so hard, so passionately.
I don’t want to compare him to Rey, but he never moved me the way Cruiser does. He makes me feel things I’ve never felt before. Real things.

“Talking about the Navy isn’t exactly sexy,” Cruiser murmurs.

“You in a captain’s uniform is,” I whisper. My eyes close as his warm lips touch my throat.

Cruiser chuckles. “But not a sailor’s uniform. I’d look like some lame-ass Halloween costume.”

I smile as I imagine Cruiser dressed in that, training, taking orders, being away at sea. “Are you really going to join the Navy?” I ask.

He studies me. Then he says, “I don’t know.” He rubs my cheek with the back of his fingers.
“Do you want me to?”

“I want you to do what you want to do.”

He gathers me in his arms and lifts me off the floor, drawing me close to his chest. I inhale his masculine smell. “Sailors sacrifice time away from their families,” he murmurs in my ear.

I nod
against his chest. He still has another year to think about this, but I know he really wants to join. It’s been his dream since he was a kid.

His hand runs up and down my back.

My phone beeps. I reach for my bag and scan the screen. “Dani finished karate. She’ll be here any minute.”

“You’d better go, then,” he says.

I look at him. Then I raise my hand and push hair off his forehead. “I’ll see you?”

He rests his hand on top of mine that’s on the side of his face. He closes his eyes. “Yes.” He opens his eyes, leans forward, and captures my mouth in his. “I’ll speak to Rey tonight.”

I nod. “I hope he takes it well.”

I stand and pick up my Sharkettes jacket and bag. Cruiser watches as I head to the door. Before I leave, I wave. He smiles, waving back.

Cruiser

I haven’t been watching much TV lately. Feels good to sit back on the couch with my SEALS and not think about what
I’m going to say to Rey. I promised Lex I’d speak to him last night, but chickened out.

I don’t want to hurt him.

The one thing that drives me to do it is Lex. Yesterday in Juice Me’s storage room was amazing. I haven’t felt so close to her in so long. I want it to be like this every day. For the rest of my life. Yeah, how sappy do I sound right now? Damn, I love her. So much it kills me. Makes it hard for me to breathe. I can’t do anything right because I’m always thinking of her. I fall asleep and wake up with her in my head.

I’ve got to do what I’ve got to do. Rey’ll be okay with it. He’s got to. He’s my bro—we get each other. He’s got the parents and all his friends, all his activities and a successful future to look forward to. Me? I got shit. All I need and want i
s Lex.

Please be okay with it, Rey.

I prop my leg on the coffee table. Tear open a bag of chips and dump a handful into my mouth. Pop open a can of Coke and down half of it. Footsteps come down the hall. Hmm, I thought Rey was out.

He walks into the living room. Shoulders hunched,
arms dragging behind him. He’s like that because he’s nervous about his recital this Sunday. That’s got to be it. Even though I know that’s sure as hell not true.

Talk to him.

I can’t.

He’ll get it.

He won’t.

He stops before the TV. I sit back. It ain’t easy making eye contact with him. “Whatup?” I ask.

He crosses his arms. Spreads his legs apart. I don’t see this look on Rey often. He’s pissed.

“Where were you yesterday after school?” he asks.

I raise my shoulders in a what-you-talkin’-about way.

“I was looking for you.”

Shit, does he know I was with Lex? He hasn’t stepped foot in Juice Me since I landed the job. Something ain’t right.

“What are you getting at, Rey?”

“I wanted to talk to you. I stopped by Juice Me, but you weren’t there.”

He doesn’t know. Nah, he just wanted to talk. Probably about Lex breaking up with him. My chest deflates. “Coulda talked to me when I got home,” I say.

He shakes his head. Tightens his arms on his chest. “I was in my room all night with the violin. Then I crashed.”

I nod my head
slightly. Something’s not right. Must be the twin telepathy. It’s giving me a warning.

“I couldn’t find Lex anywhere
, either.”

My eyes snap to his. They’re filled with betrayal. Hate. A
ccusation.

Oh, shit.

“She must have been hanging out with Dani,” I say. Damn, my voice is shaking.

His eyes blaze. “No
, she wasn’t. Dani has karate after school. You know Lex broke up with me, don’t you?”

My eyes widen. At least, I try to widen ‘em. “She did?”

His arms fall away from his chest. He fists them. “Derek and Jared saw you
with
her. Cooped up in the storage room.”

Fuck. I sit up. Hold up my palms. “Rey—”

“She told me there was no one else. How could I be so stupid? So blind.” He knocks the lame-ass magazines off the coffee table. “What did you do to her? Flick your head so that your hair fell into your eyes? I know girls like that. Did you lift your shirt and show off your abs?”

“Rey—”

“That’s why you came back, wasn’t it? You found out I got together with her. Who told you? Mom and Dad? Dani? One of your friends?”

“I have no fucking friends—”

“All this time, I thought you came back for me.” He laughs bitterly. “Since the day you left, I stayed up at night and hoped and wished you’d come back. Because I missed you like hell, Cruise. Every time I got a call from you or an email, I hoped you’d tell me your life sucked, that you missed me and wanted to come home.” He kicks the floor. “I begged Mom and Dad. They told me it was for the best. That you were making progress there. And you sounded so happy.” He fists his hands again. His knuckles are white. “You couldn’t stand that she chose me, could you? You’ve always been jealous of me. Couldn’t stand it. So you found out she was with me, and you swooped in.”

“Rey, that’s not—”

“You
dick
.”

“Dammit, Rey
. Let me explain!” I’m on my feet.

He looks at me in a disgusted way. He’s never done that
before. It hurts. “I always defend you,” he shouts. “To everyone. To Mom and Dad, to Grandpa Herbert and Grandma Dorothy. To my friends. They always ask me why you’re such a dick.”

My own fists are at my side
s. He doesn’t mean any of that. He’s just pissed.

He lunges at me. Knocks me to the
floor. Punches my face. “Fuck, Rey!”

“How could you do this to me!”

He aims for my face again. I dodge. He goes at my ribs. I throw him off with my legs. He scrambles to his feet. Charges at me. I step to the side and he knocks into the coffee table. Glass shatters everywhere.

“
Shit, are you okay?”

The look on his face could kill.

“Calm down, Rey.” I hold out my palms again. I don’t want to fight him. Won’t. “Let’s talk about this.”

He stands. I see blood on his
hands. From the glass. “Talk about what? You’re dead to me. Dead. Stick with what you do best—screwing girls. Leave the good ones for the nice guys who deserve them.” His shoulder bumps into my chest as he stomps to the door. Touches the knob. Turns toward me. “Go back to New York. No one wants you here.”

The door slams behind him. My fists are at my sides.
I can hardly feel the blood flowing to them. My chest heaves. Eyes glare at the door.

I count to ten. Drop down on the couch. Run my hands up and down my face. Tears enter my eyes.

I grab a couch cushion and fling it at the TV.

Footsteps. I glance up, expecting to see Rey. Hoping to see him. Mom’s at the door.

“What in the world happened here?” She examines the room. Eyes fall on the splattered glass.

Accusing eyes meet mine.

I get up and push past her. Go to the garage and grab my bike.

He didn’t give me a chance to explain.