Authors: Cydney Michele; Rax Lutishia; Grant Lovely
Crush (27 page)
“ ’Sup, my lady? I’m jonesing for some ‘Rain.’ ”
“Rain? I thought I was Lo.”
“You told me not to call you dat no more. So I’m switching it up for my gal. Hey, you gonna let me in or we gonna chop it up with the door wide open? C’mon, be hospital.”
She couldn’t help but grin. “It’s hospitable, silly.”
“I knew dat. Just trying to make ya laugh.”
“It’s scary that it didn’t take much to make me laugh.”
“What’s dat supposed to mean?”
“Never mind.”
Posse took it upon himself to breeze past Lorraine and enter her apartment. He held a plastic Kroger bag in one hand, and clutched a beat-up yellow toothbrush in the other. She inhaled and smelled men’s deoderant and shampoo. Sighing, she slammed the door and followed him inside to the living room.
“I see you brought your overnight bag.”
“Yep, yep.”
Lorraine felt annoyed that he had the nerve to flaunt his toiletries as if he just knew she’d let him spend the night.
“You took a chance and drove all the way to Houston in your beat-up Corolla?”
“How you know I still drive that?”
“I know you, Posse. So why would you drive down without even calling? Huh?”
“Told you why. I’m missing my gal. My lady. My sweet thing.”
“Posse, don’t give me that. It doesn’t even sound right.”
“Raw truth, baby.”
“If it’s so true why didn’t you check for me before now?”
“I had to come up with my master plan. Give you some space. Back away long enough for you to miss me. Then show up when you not expectin’ me so you can see with your own eyes dat I’m missing you, too.”
“Yeah right.”
“Man, why you gotta be so hard, huh? Don’t I even get a hug? I ain’t seen your rusty ass in a minute.”
She tried not to blush as she forced herself to appear emotionless. Getting over a former lover wasn’t as easy as “get over it” sounded.
Posse spread his arms and broke out in a charming yet vulnerable grin. Looking anxious, he took a deep breath, walked up to Lorraine, and wrapped her in his arms. A tiny gasp escaped from her mouth. She pressed her nose against his neck and inhaled his familiar musky scent. Rough neck masculine. Bad boy strong.
“Ooooh damn, see this what I’m talking ’bout.” He patted her on the ass and squeezed. “Your little curves done filled out. You looking hot in this fancy dress. I’ll bet you got on a pink thong, huh?”
“Mmm.” She grunted again as he squeezed her tighter.
“I’ll be damned. You don’t got a date, do you?”
“No,” she replied in a barely audible voice. She decided to untangle herself from his embrace.
“Good. Now you do. You going out. Tonight. With me. Let’s roll.”
“Are you kidding me? You just pop over here unannounced and think I’m going to hang out with you on a so-called date? I don’t think so.”
“Baby girl, just chill,” Posse said in his raspy voice. “You need to be ready to roll just like dat. Stop being a tight ass and acting all scary like something bad might happen. Remember back in the day? We can do ‘us’ like we used to do. And don’t front. I know you used to love chilling with your boy.”
“That was then, Posse.”
He winced at her bluntness. “Don’t say dat, Lo. C’mon now, please.”
When her pet name rolled off her ex’s lips, her heart softened. And his new look didn’t escape her. She knew all that was for her. She also saw the pain of love swimming in his eyes. The fear. Uncertainty. To see a man like Posse show that he had a heart underneath his tough exterior endeared him to her. Either she was a fool, or she was human, too. And the fact that he was here in her apartment meant he hadn’t totally forgotten about her. Maybe he still loved her. But was it too late for that kind of love? The kind of love that gave her an adrenaline rush yet made her feel so unsure about the future?
11
Some Kind of Fool
Surreal. Lorraine couldn’t believe she was hanging out with Posse. Before she’d agreed to go out with him, he asked if he could wash up and brush his teeth. She said okay but made him throw away his disgusting, old, yellow toothbrush. She located a blue toothbrush that had been previously removed from its plastic container and gave him some privacy so he could freshen up.
Once he emerged from her restroom, she remarked, “Why brush your teeth if you’re going to put the gold grill back on? If you want to hang with me, you’re going to have to remove the grills. They look so hideous.”
“They look so what?”
“Ugly, dude. You look so much better with your own teeth.”
“Okay okay okay.”
He insisted on driving her car and refused to tell her where they were going until they arrived downtown. He made a right turn and drove up the ramp of the Toyota Center Tundra Garage. She began to hyperventilate when he located a parking spot on the third level, the same floor that Wendell had parked on when they first attended the Rockets game.
Posse jumped out of the car, fled to the passenger side, and opened her door.
“These fools act like they can’t come through Dallas. So at the last minute, I got two tickets to the Houston concert and prayed the good Lord would answer your boy’s prayers. Let me listen to ole Maxy Max and Ms. Philly Girl singing while you stand by my side.”
I never knew men like Posse prayed. Like my mother told me, it’s obvious God is no respecter of persons.
They exited the car and headed toward the stadium entrance. With each step she felt more of a rush of excitement gush through her veins. Lorraine convinced herself that taking a chance with Posse, if only for this event, would cause no harm. Besides, Wendell was a no-show again. He was becoming unreliable. And how would it have looked if she’d sat at home waiting on the phone to ring and stressing over Wendell’s whereabouts?
Although she never imagined being with Posse again in a million years, she appreciated him doting over her. He pulled out their tickets, located their seats, and once she got settled he winked and told her “BRB.”
True to his word, he soon returned, his face bright with exhilaration.
“Hey, I got you some popcorn and a margarita with my own dough, you dig?”
She laughed. Nodded. Tried to relax and settle in her seat so she could watch Maxwell croon while the women swooned.
Oh well. I didn’t get to go to the concert with Wendell, but at least I got to go. Irony.
“You liking the concert, Lo? I mean Rain?”
“Yes, Wen—. Yes, Posse.”
“What?”
“Um, I started to say,
when
I go to concerts, I always have fun,” she mumbled.
when
I go to concerts, I always have fun,” she mumbled.
“Huh?”
“Nothing.”
When Posse absentmindedly reached out and grabbed her hand, she tried to imagine that the warm skin that was grasping her fingers belonged to Wendell.
Screw him.
She removed her hand from his.
She removed her hand from his.
“Hey, Posse. Question for you,” she said suddenly as he stood close to her looking relaxed. “In your opinion, which artists could be counted as some of the greatest singers of all time?”
“Easy. Drake. Pac. Kanye.”
“They’re rappers, dude. Name singers,” she said, frustrated.
“Real singers? Like on an Aretha Franklin level or something? Um, I’ll get back with you on dat one.”
During intermission, Lorraine felt an urge to exercise her legs. She excused herself and exited the auditorium to go stand in a long line that snaked outside the ladies’ room.
“Hey, Lorraine!” Lance, one of the computer application developers at her firm, waved at her. “What’s up, young lady? You’re enjoying yourself?”
“It’s all right,” she said wistfully.
“Well, too bad you left the sandcastle workshop early that day. You missed it.”
“Missed what?” she asked in monotone.
“You know Tim Daither? One of the principals?”
“Of course,” she replied.
What does he think I am, stupid?
What does he think I am, stupid?
“Well, you know that they hired me to maintain the Web site, right?”
“Yeah.”
“So I go up there to attend the workshop, and girl, check this out. Daither’s wife came up to the workshop getting all loud like she was a black woman or something.”
“Oooh, Lance, you know you’re wrong,” she replied, mildly amused.
“Tell the truth and shame the devil, girl. Anyway, Miss Thang was storming all over the building, going from room to room, snooping and giving the evil eye to every cute woman who came up in that joint . She caught herself trying to roll her eyes at me, too. She ain’t got a thing to worry about. Humph.”
“That sounds crazy. Why wouldn’t she just go to EDC?”
“Girl, she got banned from coming up to her hubby’s job, hello.”
“Shame.” She started to laugh but didn’t want to give Lance the satisfaction. “Okay, so why is she hanging out at the workshop looking for women?”
“ ’Cause that sixty-year-old rascal who swears he’s a younger Burt Reynolds is trying to get his groove on sister-girl style. This pasty-looking fella who sings that same old tired song every Monday about how much he loves his dear wife is banging a woman who’s not his wife. Someone who works at our firm. And his wife wasn’t having it. She looked so funny racing all over A&E. Lucky for her whoever Daither is sleeping with never showed up, but that didn’t stop his poor wife from going around asking all kinds of questions.”
“Oh okay, sounds like one big mess,” Lorraine said in a bored tone. “Anyway, good seeing you. I’ll talk to you later.”
Toward the end of the concert, Posse grabbed Lorraine’s hand so tight she winced from the pain.
“Ouch, do you mind?”
“Lo, your body is here, but I know you. You not having a good time. Maybe coming to H-town was a bad move. I must be some kind of fool.” His voice was full of emotion, which made Lorraine feel worse.
“Posse, it’s not you. I just have a lot on my mind. Y-you’ve actually been perfect tonight.”
“But not perfect enough for a chick like you. I can never meet your standards, huh?”
“Standards? What are they?” She laughed though nothing was funny. “They’re almost a joke.”
“No, don’t say that. You gotta right to know what you want in a man. I just wish
I
coulda been dat man. . . .”
I
coulda been dat man. . . .”
“Posse, not now.”
“When? Next week? Next month? Or never?” He had a rare frightened look in his eyes. Lorraine knew the guy had been through a lot of hardship in his life. Poverty. Racial discrimination. It wasn’t as if he was given the proper guidance so he could make the best choices. And he definitely had no say regarding the zip code he was born in. So what, he was from the hood. He knew pain, suffering, and despair as a daily way of life. But didn’t he still have a heart? Didn’t ghetto boys need love, too?
“Posse,” she replied gently. “Given the circumstances, this isn’t the best time for me to make that kind of decision. But I will say that in spite of what’s happened between us, you will always hold a special place in my heart.”
“Hallmark card? Or raw truth?”
“A little of both.” She winked.
He winked back and his worried look was replaced by a somber one.
“You’re good peeps,” Lorraine told him in an attempt to cheer Posse up. He nodded but didn’t say anything.
As the concert concluded and people spilled out into the aisles to leave the auditorium, Posse made sure to grab Lorraine’s hand. He carefully weaved his bulky fingers between her soft ones. She let him. She barely cared anymore. She needed love, but love was so damn confusing. Emotions were so deceiving. How could she maintain a level head when so much was going on around her lately?
“You know what?” Posse asked as he leaned in close so Lorraine could hear.
“What?”
“Jill Scott. Maxwell. They at the top of the list. Throw Luther Vandross in there, too. RIP.”
Lorraine beamed at her ex and felt better at that moment than she had all day.
Moments later she and Posse entered the wide hallway that led to the Toyota Center’s exit doors. She glanced a few feet in front of her and locked eyes with Wendell. He glanced at her, then at the guy wearing a conservative shirt, slacks, and shoes. But the fitted cap covering the top of his braids and the tattoos scattered across his bare arms told Wendell what he wanted to know. His eyes penetrated Lorraine’s and screamed, “How could you?”
Her eyes hollered back, “What the hell are you doing here?”
Posse was too busy scanning the crowd to notice the heated body language between Lorraine and Wendell. And when Posse spotted six guys wearing wife beaters and sagging pants, he instantly released her hand.
“BRB. Don’t go nowhere.”
Wendell swallowed deeply and thought fast. He grabbed Lorraine firmly by the arm and escorted her down the hallway. She had to practically run to keep up with him. She yelled questions at him. The venue’s hallway was filled with the clamor of voices. It was pointless to reply. He didn’t answer. He didn’t stop. He just needed to get away.
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