Authors: Cydney Michele; Rax Lutishia; Grant Lovely

Crush (28 page)

BOOK: Crush

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Access Granted

Lorraine stood barefoot, staring blankly out the window of their room they’d just checked into at the Crowne Plaza Hotel downtown. Her sandals lay sprawled on the tan carpet next to the front door. The room was complete with the typical king-size bed, chair, desk, and drawers. She may have been fully clothed, but the dour expression on her face made her feel naked and violated.

Wendell pulled his shirt off over his head so that his chiseled set of abs was front and center. He calmly waited for Lorraine to turn and feast her eyes on his body. He wanted her hands on him, too. But the woman didn’t move. She slouched and silently contemplated the night’s events.

Needing to break the ice, Wendell told her, “Lorraine, I-I’m so very sorry.”

“No. You’re. Not.”

“Okay, my apology may sound inadequate, but will you let me prove to you through my actions how I feel?”

“Wendell, the only reason you want to apologize is because godly intervention allowed me to catch your black ass at the concert. It’s not like you picked up the phone and tried to call me before now. You know how I know that? Because, as usual, when you don’t want to be bothered, you turn your damn phone off.”

“I wasn’t in an area where you’d be able to hear me.”

“Bull, Wendell. Total bullshit. Do you know how pissed off this makes me?”

“I know you’re mad because you don’t usually go off like this. But babe, please.” He caressed her shoulder. “That’s why I’m trying to make it up to—” He kissed her softly on the cheek.

“I can’t even believe I let you convince me to come to this stupid hotel. Do you think I’m going to be impressed just because you have the money to bring me here? You actually think I’m ready to give you some just because you want to stick your dick inside of me?” She examined him narrowly.

“Look, I said I’m sorry. Can we squash this? I don’t even know why we’re arguing—”

“Please don’t act as if you don’t know what I’m talking about or why I’m so mad I could strangle you. You’re wrong, Wendell. Totally wrong. And I will not let you treat me this way. Just because you come in a nice package and wear a decent suit and tie doesn’t mean you can behave any way you want as if a woman has no other choice but to accept it. You’re even worse than my ex.”

“At least someone like him can get second and third chances.”

“
What?
So you’re putting the fault on
me
for how
you’ve
been acting lately? Listen, Wendell. I do not deserve this back-and-forth, wishy-washy treatment. I hate it. It’s rude. You’re not considerate at all. You’re an ass.”

“Now hold on, you’re going too far.”

“And I can go farther, too, Wendell, because you’ve pushed me to my limits this time.”

“You’re going to have to give me a pass, Lorraine. I came to the concert, late as hell, but at least I showed up.”

“Shut up. You came to the concert without me. Big difference.”

“But—”

“No buts. I hate excuses. Why is it that men always get defensive when they know they’ve fucked up? What the hell is that? Be a real man and admit when you’re wrong.”

“I
am
a real man. Much more of a man than that thug you took to the concert! Did you have to buy the tickets and pay for your own food?”

Tears sprang in her eyes. She reeled back in shock.

Before she could respond, she started sneezing uncontrollably .She started trembling and looked in his eyes.

“You took Faye, didn’t you?” she said in a shaky voice.

“W-what?”

She sneezed again. “Don’t lie to me, dammit. I am allergic to White Diamonds. And whoever wears fucking White Diamonds is the reason why you stood me up. Wendell, how could you? You played yourself. I’m out of here.”

She clenched her teeth and prepared to race out of the hotel room. But Wendell clutched her by the arm.

“Let me go.”

“I’m not done talking.”

“There’s nothing to talk about. You’re a liar.”

“And so are you!”

“What did you call me?”

“You’re just as hypocritical as I am, Lorraine. Do you think I’m so into you that I don’t notice other things going on? Lance told me some stuff.”

“He didn’t tell you anything because he doesn’t know anything.”

“Hello? Are you listening, Lorraine? He told me how he overheard you talking to Natalie about how much you’ve missed having sex with your ex.”

“What? That bastard. He heard wrong,” she snapped.

“And he printed out this, which is not something you can lie about.” Wendell went to his pad folio and withdrew several sheets of letter-size paper.

“How can you explain this, Ms. Eafford?”

A few days ago, Lorraine had created e-mails from her work account. Messages that she’d typed, but saved in her drafts folder because she couldn’t decide if she actually wanted to send them.

Hi Posse, Have you checked out the rates for Southwest Airlines from Dallas to Houston? They’re real cheap. I could use another minivacation. We could hang out.

And . . .

Just woke up. You were in my dream. Damn, I wish you could still hold me through the night. I felt so protected with you next to me. But I guess it’s too late to admit these feelings now, huh? I know I probably keep you confused. I keep my damn self confused, too. LOL.

“Why is he snooping in my e-mails?”

“He’s the fucking IT administrator. He’s granted access to all that shit. And he’s who I talk to when I really want access to the true Lorraine. That’s the only way I can get the raw truth about you.”

“You son of a bitch. You know what? This isn’t working for me. I’m out.”

“Bye, Lorraine!”

She gasped, then quickly located her purse and grabbed her shoes. She opened the door and fled from the room. Throat thick with pain she moaned, her head filled with confusion. She tried to pray and wished right then that her dear mother, whose prayers she usually rejected, was thinking of her. Lorraine half-ran down the hall until she reached the elevator. It took so long for the elevator to stop at her floor that she headed farther down the hall, opened the door to the interior stairwell, and decided to race down seven flights of stairs.

As soon as her bare feet got her down one level, she let out a muffled scream. Her face was soon drenched with a stream of heated tears she’d been holding in for months. A guttural moan escaped her lips, her vision soon blurred by burdens she could no longer carry.

“I can’t believe I’m crying . . . over a man.” She wept and clumsily held her face in her hand; the heat of humiliation poured over her like raindrops.

Men who rarely cried were born to make women cry. And what reason could God give for creating men who seemingly did whatever they wanted to do without suffering punishment? Men who routinely cheated, lied, and hid their true nature from their wives or girlfriends and thought nothing of it. “This is how we’re wired,” they explained as if that belief makes wrong behavior acceptable. Was God a chauvinist? Didn’t he care about women’s feelings?

Lorraine’s heart throbbed with pain every time she entertained these thoughts. It made her feel that expecting a good and honest relationship was unrealistic. Based on the rate of divorces and couples breaking up in general, why should she even want a man?

By the time she finishing crying, she felt exhausted. She located her cell phone and dialed.

“Lo?”

“Hi!” she said breathlessly.

“Why you breathing so hard?”

“Tired.” She nodded. “So tired.”

“Where the hell you been? I told your hard-headed ass not to leave. I was gone only fifteen. Came back and your ass got ghost.”

“I know. It’s complicated. Can you please come get me?”

“Now?”

“Um, yes. You have my car and I have no other way to get home.”

“Damn, Lo. I-I was watching the game. LeBron’s shooting the lights out these fools.”

“W-what?”

“Okay okay okay. Where you at?”

“I’m still downtown. Pick me up outside the Toyota Center.”

“You was there all dat time? You couldn’t have called before now?”

“It’s complicated.”

With darkness surrounding her, Lorraine walked three miles back to the Toyota Center and waited for Posse. In all that time, Wendell never called her. Posse spotted her on the corner and pulled up. She slid onto her seat and gave him a grateful smile and a warm kiss on his lips. “I can’t believe I’m saying this, but tonight . . . finally . . . it seems like you’ve become my perfect man. My knight.”

“Oh yeah? Lo, you got a nigga rollin’.” He blushed. “That’s what I like to hear.”

Posse drove them back to Lorraine’s apartment. When they arrived in front of her apartment unit, the living room windows were illuminated.

“I thought I turned off the lights before we left,” she murmured as she waited for Posse to open the passenger door.

Posse used her keys to let them in. She placed one foot inside her apartment and stopped. Six unfamiliar guys wearing hoodies and baggy blue jeans were sprawled together on her sofa and love seat. Lit cigarettes hung from their mouths. Some drank beer, others smoked weed, and the television volume was turned up as loud as possible as they watched an NBA game.

“What the fuck is going on? Who are these people?”

“Lo, calm down. These my H-town partners. That’s Weazy.” He pointed. “There’s Little Mike, his daddy Big Mike, G-Low, Din-Din, and Simeon. Remember, I ran into them at the concert—”

“Why the hell are they in my place drinking up all my beer? And you know I hate the smell of pot. This is bullshit.”

“Calm down, my lady.”

“I’m not your lady. We don’t live together, Posse. Everybody listen up. You’re going to have to leave . . . right now.”

“What’s got her panties all in a bunch? These hos be bugging,” she heard one snaggle-toothed guy mutter. “Better put your lady in check.”

“Huh? I don’t think so. This is
my
place. I don’t know you and I don’t want to know you. You’re going to have to get the hell out of here.” She spun around and faced Posse, bristling with anger. “I pegged you all wrong. You’re full of shit. And you’ll never change.”

“Your snobby ass will never change either.”

Good Attracts Good

On Monday when Lorraine arrived at work, his desk was cleaner than ever. Nothing that belonged to Wendell could be found in the office. She picked up the phone and dialed Natalie. “Can you please come see me ASAP?”

The two ladies huddled together whispering. “Have you seen Houston today?” Lorraine asked.

“No, not at all. Y’all lovebirds must’ve really had a huge fight.”

“Tell me about it. In a way I guess it’s for the best. I barely wanted to show up today. I don’t want to face this guy. He’s a liar.”

“Maybe he felt ashamed of himself. They usually do after a while.”

Lorraine laughed. “Girl, you sound just like my sister.”

“I guess I am in a way.” She smiled.

“Thanks, Nat. Anyway,” she said cautiously and made sure the office door was shut tight. “Can you believe that idiot Lance was monitoring my e-mails and had the nerve to print them out and pass them around like they’re a birthday-party invite? I could file a complaint and get his silly butt fired. What manager does stuff like that?”

“Idiot managers. Don’t worry about Lance. Just be careful with the paper trail.”

“Ha. There won’t be any more paper trails. I’m so through with men I don’t know what to do.”

“Yeah, but Houston may have moved out of the office, but you gotta face him at the sandcastle meeting today,” she whispered.

“No, I’m not. I’m pulling out.”

“What? It’s too late to get anyone else.”

“I honestly don’t give a fuck. Do you think I can work side by side with that guy after all he’s put me through? Stupid!”

“Yeah, he
is
stupid to chase a piece of ass over you.”

“I’m talking about myself. I never should have gotten involved with him. It’s too close for comfort when things go wrong.”

“But you didn’t know how it would end up.”

“True, but still . . . I really don’t want to ever see his face again. And it’s not like I can go out there and find me another high-paying job real quick. The architecture industry is already suffering.”

“Don’t be so extreme. You and Houston will be fine; just give it some time.”

Lorraine’s iPhone buzzed.

“Oh God, I wish he’d just leave me the hell alone.” She let Natalie glance at the call screen.

“Two-one-four area code? Must be Dallas, huh?” She giggled. “Girl, that man loves you to death, I don’t care how bad he talked to you the other night.”

“Verbal abuse isn’t love, Nat. You know that.”

“I think Dallas just doesn’t know how to properly express himself. But anybody can see the love is there, even though he sounds very rough around the edges.”

“Yeah, well, whatever.”

Later that afternoon, Natalie stopped by Lorraine’s office, pointing at the wall clock.

“I’m here to escort you to the meeting.” She laughed.

“This isn’t funny.” She gave Natalie a worried look. “I told you I’m not going to that meeting. I don’t want to be anywhere he is.”

“Lorraine Eafford, do not give your power to another human being. Don’t let him scare you. You’ve worked hard on this project and deserve to come to the last meeting before the competition. You brought energy and creativity to the team. We need you, girl.”

“Oh, Nat. Only for you would I change my mind.”

The two ladies spoke quietly as they entered the conference room. She breathed a sigh of relief when she didn’t see Wendell in the meeting. The team facilitator passed out the agenda and information regarding their assignment for the actual competition, which would be held next weekend on Galveston’s East Beach.

“Get there early so we can set up the tent. Some of you have been assigned to transport the materials, the carving tools, our team T-shirts; others will bring the ice chest, the food, and plenty of beer. See you next weekend. We start carving at ten sharp.”

“Hey, girl. Thanks for convincing me to regain my power.” Lorraine laughed as they left the meeting. “I would have been hidden away in my office for nothing. Knowing Wendell, he’s not even thinking about me. He hasn’t called. No text. No nothing.”

“Sounds like you’re still feeling this guy,” Natalie replied.

“Love is complicated,” Lorraine admitted. “Like my mother likes to say, ‘You can cook a man’s breakfast with electricity, but you can also cook the man.’ And at this point I can choke him with the same hands I’d use to hold him in my arms. It’s frustrating.”

Natalie felt her phone vibrate. She looked at the caller ID. “And family is frustrating, too. Damn. Something’s come up and I need to get home, but my car is in the shop and the person who I carpooled with is at an off-site meeting.”

“Hey, you need me to drive you home?” Lorraine asked. “I’ll put in for emergency vacation time. I don’t feel like being at the office anymore. Let me run to the ladies’ room and I’ll meet you downstairs in the parking lot.”

“Oh wow, I don’t want you to go out of your way for me.”

“It’s my pleasure. You’ve been there for me . . .” she said softly and couldn’t finish her sentence because of the knot that swelled up in her throat. “See you in a bit.”

Lorraine rushed to the ladies’ room and was happy that the first stall was available.

She sat on the toilet and told herself to e-mail her boss about leaving early as soon as she got back to her office.

Just when she was about to flush, she heard voices.

“Shhh.” A female voice giggled. “I don’t want anyone to hear us.”

“Then that means I probably won’t do a good job.”

“Daither, you’re a nut.”

“I’m about to nut all over you.”

Lorraine froze. She couldn’t believe Tim Daither was inside the women’s restroom. Anyone could just walk in there. Why would a man be so foolish and take such a dangerous risk?

I guess big-mouth Lance was finally right about a rumor.

She heard a stall door open and close. The sound of the lock twisted. More giggles. Moans and sighs.

Lorraine wanted to leave. But she couldn’t. Her ears were wide open. Listening to the sounds of betrayal.

“Mmm, mmm, that feels so good.”

“Hop on me,” Daither gasped.

Lorraine could imagine his pasty white face turning red. She held her hand against her mouth as she tried to figure out which co-worker was stupid enough to have sex with the married boss.

“Faye. Oh shit. Keep going. Don’t stop.”

“Yes, big Daddy. You like it like this? Ohhhh. Tim baby. Who? Who? Who’s the baddest bitch in the game? Say my name.”

“Apparently, Daither’s messing around on his wife even though Faye isn’t exactly an EDC employee. I hate when gossipers can’t even get the gossip totally right.”

“Girl, this is so twisted. Do you think Wendell knows?” Natalie asked. They were headed to her apartment and she was trying to get over the shock of the news about Daither.

“Who cares?” Lorraine snapped. “That’s what Wendell gets. I don’t feel sorry for him.”

“But you’ve got to tell him.”

“Ha! I’ll let Lance have the honors, for what it’s worth. He’s the one who knows everybody’s business.”

“Yeah, but it would seem since you still care for Wendell that you could give him that heads-up.”

“Why should I protect him? He didn’t protect me! He made a fool out of me.” She thought long and hard. With every passing second her heart grew harder. “Men like Wendell reap everything they’ve sown. Why be greedy? Why not just pick one of us instead of stringing me along and making me think he’s so into me?”

“Because sometimes it’s hard to pick just one, Lorraine.” Natalie gave her co-worker a knowing look and turned her attention back to the road.

As they neared Natalie’s community, she told Lorraine which streets to turn down. The farther out they drove, the more the environment changed. Old abandoned houses with missing bricks lined the boulevard. Big brown Dumpsters lay on their sides with garbage spilling out to meet the street. Women so skinny they barely weighed eighty pounds walked up and down the street carrying nothing but a dazed look on their face. They wore tight blouses and short skirts but no purses were in their hands.

“This is your neighborhood?”

“Yeah. Unbelievable, huh?”

Natalie instructed Lorraine to make a left turn into a huge apartment complex with a guard house stationed at the entrance gate, but no guard was there. They drove through the open gate past units that had windows boarded up with plywood.

“Do people actually live here?”

“Yes,” Natalie said in a loud tone. “I can’t afford to rent a luxury apartment. Have you seen my paycheck lately? So I stay with my mom, my sister, and her two kids. Our place is nice, though, very clean and well-organized. More important, I’m surrounded by the love of my family. You can’t judge everything by how it appears on the outside.”

Lorraine drove her car into an empty parking space next to a rusted sedan that sat on bricks because it had no tires.

“Wow! Well, um, thanks, Natalie,” she said sincerely, giving her a tight hug. “I mean that. You’ve taught me so much . . . so much.”

Lorraine drove home and immediately went to her bedroom, removed her clothes, and slid underneath the covers. She lay in bed pondering the state of her life and why certain issues were such a struggle. Lorraine realized she may have questioned God, but she still needed Him.

“I’m a good woman. I’m a good friend. Good attracts good. Please send good to my life, dear Lord. And if there’s anything I’m doing wrong to block my blessings from coming to me, show me. Help me. I need help.”

Thankfully she drifted into a blissful sleep. But her two-hour nap got interrupted by the sound of her iPhone alerting her of a text.

I can admit I haven’t been honest. Although I was trying 2 build something w/u, it was premature. My mind was on someone else. My bad. Bad timing. Hope u understand. Hope u forgive me 2.”

Lorraine erased all of Wendell’s messages and removed his info from her address book.

“Good attracts good,” she whispered to herself and turned over to go back to sleep.

BOOK: Crush

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