Crushed (Breaking the Rules Series Book 5) (13 page)

I sit down and rearrange him so that we’re both comfortable for me to feed him. As soon as the bottle comes near his face, he latches on hungrily. And I can’t stop staring at him. With each needy grunt he makes as he sucks down the formula, I become more and more enraptured with him.

He’s perfect.

He’s mine.

I force the thought from my head and inspect all of his features. He’s so cute.

“You’re cute like Daddy,” I coo.

His mouth opens and he lets some of the formula run out as he stares back at me. Pulling the bottle from his mouth, I smile down at him. With the corner of the blanket, I swipe his mess away.

“I’m so sorry,” I suddenly sob aloud.

My cries startle him and he makes a face like he’s about to cry.

“No. Shhh. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you,” I promise through my tears.

He must understand, because his features go calm once more. Leaning forward, I kiss his forehead. It’s so soft and warm. I leave my lips there for a moment, enjoying the contact.

A painful slice rips through my chest so suddenly that it makes me dizzy.

This baby. This little angel. I’ve neglected him. I’ve pushed this innocent being away from me.

What kind of person am I?

When I find his eyes once more, I see it. I see a little boy with no mother. And I see him watching me back, seeing a mother with no little boy.

Tears momentarily blur the sight of
my
child before I rapidly blink them away, needing to see him already again.

“You’re mine. And I’m yours,” I assure him fiercely. The vow hangs thick in the air. It’s as if our hearts are threading together.

Then I lift my eyes and see a framed picture on the end table. This frame holds two pictures. It says,
Thank Heaven for Little Boys.
On the left side is a picture of my Thomas in my arms. I’m asleep. How did I not know of this picture? And on the right side, my Jackson and my Tyler are together.

My family.

The tears stream down my face as I sob.

Tyler is here, and with each minute that passes, with me as his mother, I know he’ll help heal me.

We belong to each other.

Both of us, thrown the short ends of the sticks of life, will somehow put them together to make one perfect stick. I waded through my adult life dealing with loss after loss. He came into this life and had the greatest loss of all right off the bat.

A mother with no child.

A child with no mother.

We’re here together now.

A sniffle startles me, and I look up to see my husband in the doorway. This boy’s father. The man who made this family complete. The absolute hero who battled through the war that waged on within myself, in my mind and also my body—and he won. He won that battle for his family.

For me and Tyler.

He strides over to me and drops to his knees. I sigh happily when he rests his face against my knees, nudging his son with his head. My free hand slides into Jackson’s dark hair and I tenderly stroke his scalp. His relief is palpable as he cries tears of joy because we’ve jumped such a huge hurdle.

My husband. The tough guy. The total alpha male. The super dad.

“Thank you, Jackson Compton. You’re the best husband a girl could ask for. Thank you for sticking it out with me—even when things were awful.”

“Baby,” he murmurs against my thighs, “you’re the other half of my heart. If you don’t beat, I don’t beat. But together, we’re fucking amazing.”

My eyes are once again hot with tears. “No, Jackie. When I didn’t beat, you beat strong enough for the both of us. When I married you, I gave you my whole heart. Not just half, all of it. And you protected it—loved it like crazy. Words can’t express how much I love you. You’ll always own my heart.”

We both sit quietly for a moment with our baby, who’s now sleeping between us.

“Andi, I’m so glad you came back to me. Don’t ever leave me again.”

“Not a chance, Jackie.”

“My turn,” Opal whines impatiently.

Pepper gives her what’s supposed to be a menacing glare, but she just waits with arms outstretched. Finally, Pepper sighs and passes Tyler to Opal.

I glance over at Andi, and she seems happy. It’s been a few days since she first held Tyler, and things have gotten better ever since. She’s wanted to see her friends and my family. Every chance she gets, she cuddling our son. I’m going to be fucking gutted when I go back to work next week and won’t get to spend all day with them anymore.

When her eyes meet mine, she winks. My wife looks so damn beautiful while perched on the arm of the sofa with a breathtaking smile. Andi, who normally is perfection personified with her tailored suits, spiked heels, and sexy, straightened hair, might appear to anyone else to look messy right now—not put together.

But as I skim my eyes over her, I have the urge to toss her over my shoulder and haul her straight to the bedroom to ravish her body. Her once slim figure now holds curves I’ve grown to love. Her blond hair is piled up on top of her head in a messy do that is somehow sexy as hell. The pink on her cheeks is natural, and her bare lips look utterly suckable. The way her grey sweatshirt hangs slightly off her shoulder, showing me a sneak peek at her fair skin, gives me the desire to pull it all the way down to catch a glimpse of her perfect, full tits. And the sweatpants with the spit-up spot from Tyler just invokes something carnal in me—it’s proof that my woman is a mother.

She’s my dream come true.

“I love you,” I mouth to her.

Her eyes light up as she responds in kind. “I love you too.”

“I can babysit if you two need to go fuck,” Pepper says bluntly.

Andi giggles and tosses one of the couch pillows at her. “Don’t cuss in front of my boy,” she chides.

We can’t have sex. Not yet. The doctor hasn’t cleared her and won’t for several more weeks. But alone time with my wife does sound pretty awesome right about now.

Our eyes meet again and her giggles die down when she sees the hungry look in my eyes. Stalking like a lion that’s just set his sights on the perfect prey, I stride around the room, never taking my eyes off her. My need for her is so incredibly strong—I’m drawn to her as if she’s pulling me by an invisible rope.

“Pepper, we’re taking you up on your offer. I’m stealing Andi away to”—I dart my eyes over to her and blurt out the first thing that comes to mind—“shower.”

She and Opal laugh when I scoop Andi up from the arm of the couch.

“Let’s clean you up, woman,” I growl and nip at her neck.

Her squeal is muffled by my lips against hers as I walk us blindly down the hallway toward our room. The moment we make it inside, I kick the door shut.

“We can’t have sex,” she whines when I set her down. She looks positively heartbroken.

“I know, but I just need to touch you. Get naked, beautiful.”

Her face lights up, and then we both strip as fast as we can. As soon as she’s bare for me, I seize her, pulling her against me. My cock is sandwiched between us, and I could almost come from the feel of the soft skin of her belly touching it. Tangling my hand in her hair, I tilt her head back and smash my lips against hers.

She tastes like fucking hummus—I still don’t know why she likes that shit—but to me, she tastes decadent. Her mouth urgently fights with mine, each of us eager to taste the other as if we may never have the chance to again. But I know. I know I’ll spend my entire lifetime kissing her.

She’s mine.

My hand slides between us and I cup her swollen breasts. The doctor said that they would eventually go down once the milk is completely dried up and, until then, they would be sore. So I touch her softly. And as her nipple hardens under the stroke of my thumb, she whimpers.

I walk her backwards toward the shower, never breaking my lips or my body from hers. Together, we somehow manage to turn on the water, and once it gets hot, we step inside. As the spray of the hot water rains down on us, I squeeze her to me.

“Andi, I want to make you come,” I groan as I drag my fingers down her body and tentatively touch her pussy.

When her eyes find mine, I see the worry.

“I’ll just touch you here,” I whisper as I gently push against her clit.

The gasp that rushes from her isn’t a pained one—it’s a needy one. As I gradually begin running small circles there, she starts whimpering. She needs this just as much as I do. And I’m so focused on my task that, when her hand grasps my cock, I grunt loudly. My eyes roll back in my head because it all feels so damn good—my finger on her pussy, her hand around my aching dick, her soft skin against mine, the hot water blanketing us.

“Oh,” she cries out, and her body buckles against my touch. My sweet wife is coming.

“That’s it, baby. Let it go,” I coo.

And she does. I watch in awe as she tosses her head back, baring her long, smooth neck, and moans out loud with her release. It’s so fucking hot to see that I shoot hot semen all over her belly as I come too. My God, we’re like two damn teenagers.

When we both come down from our high, I pull her against me.

“I’ll never get enough of you,” I mumble into her hair.

She squeezes me to her. “Likewise, hot stuff.”

I narrow my eyes at her and give her the scariest look I can muster. She, of course, just giggles.

“Good, because I’m about to give you another orgasm. This time, I want to see if my tongue is as good as my finger,” I growl.

She raises a sassy eyebrow. “That,” she grins, “I know is a fact, but please feel free to test out your theory.”

And I do.

And she’s right.