Crushed (27 page)

Emma plucked a chocolate covered strawberry off
of the platter that rested on the table in between
them
.

“I can’t believe I have to work tomorrow. It’s not like I ask for
that much time off,” she pouted and then took a bite.

Cleo knew s
he actually
did
ask for quite a bit of time off
. B
ut it wouldn’t be worth it to point that out.

“It’s fine,”
Cleo
said.

“No, it’s not. You only turn eighteen once. It should be a fun, exciting birthday.
You should b
e spending it with your friends,
”
Emma pouted.

“And what fun, exciting thing would we be doing in Sheridan on a
Wednesday
night?”
Cleo
asked with a laugh.

Emma
shrugged. “I don’t know.
Getting massages?”

“Exactly, so it’s not a big deal to do it a day early,”
Cleo
assured her. “I’ll just hang out with Luci tomorrow. It’s fine.
In fact, she’s expecting me to spend
my birthday
with her. She’d be disappointed if I didn’t.
”

“That reminds me, Mom was wondering if you two wanted to come over tomorrow night.
I obviously won’t be there. But s
he’d like to make you a birthday dinner. Anything you want,” Emma told
her
. Mrs. Donovan had done the same thing last year.
Cleo’s
first birthday without
her
mom. She’d
invited Luci, Reece and of course
Emma, Elli
and
Ethan had been there, too.
It had felt like a real family birthday party.

It had been just what
she
’d
needed at the time; a distraction from the reality of
her
mom being gone. But this year, reality had a firm grip on
her
.
She
appreciated Patty’s thoughtfulness, but a quiet night with Luci this year would be
just fine with
her
.

“Tell her thanks for the offer, but I think we’ll just stay home,”
Cleo
said.
“You’ve all done enough already.”

“Alright,” Emma said
.
Cleo
could see that mentally, she was already moving on.
“Then we should do something
Friday night
. I can see if Lauren is free—,” she cut herself off. “Ugh. That’s not going to work.
Elli
has a dance recital
that
night. Mom’s decided we need to make a family night out of it. Dinner first, then
Elli
’s recital,” she said, speaking of her younger sister.
Elli was a freshman and she’d been in dance for as long as
Cleo
could remember.
“Maybe Saturday?”

“That would work,”
Cleo
agreed. “Luci
was
invited to go with Jill’s family to a waterpark this weekend. She’ll be gone until
Sunday morning.”

“Will Paul be gone?”
Emma
asked.

Cleo didn’t know why she bothered asking. I
t wasn’t like
he actually ever told
her
his plans
. “I would guess
he’ll
probably
be gone
.
He usually is.
”

She grinned. “So maybe we should make it a girls’ night? We could invite Laur
en and Mel?” She shook her head.
“Maybe not Mel
.”

Cleo
used to get along with Melanie just fine. She wasn’t a close friend like Emma, or
even Lauren. But now, because she was good friends with Natalie, who was friends with
Mia, it had all turned into an uncomfortable mess.
But still, Cleo missed her a little bit. And really, Melanie had no idea what had
happened between her and Reece. So Cleo didn’t blame her for any remarks she made.
She was very much aware of how the situation looked to most people.

“
I think we should invite her,” Cleo decided.

“Okay then,” Emma agreed with a nod.
“
I don’t think there’s
anything going on this weekend. W
ell
,
other than the football game on Friday night. So maybe if we’re getting together
Saturday we could
just
get some movies or
something
?”

“Sure,”
Cleo
agreed. And
she
hoped Paul stayed away.
She’d
had Luci let him know she’d be with Jill’s family for the weekend.
Cleo
liked to at least pretend th
at he cared where she was, for Luci’s
sake. If he knew Luci was gone and it was just
Cleo
at home,
she
was sure he’d make it a point to stay away.

“I
t’ll have to be
this
Saturday. I have plans next weekend,” she said nonchalantly
. S
he picked
off the stem from
another strawberry.

“
Oh, really?” Cleo asked suspiciously. She knew her friend well enough that she thought
she had a pretty good idea about why she was unavailable. “Does this, by any chance,
have to do with Gavin?”

“
Maybe
,”
Emma
admitted as she
tossed the stem onto the pink paper plate.
She placed the strawberry in her mouth, giving her a reason not to talk.

“Come on!
Spill!” Cleo said excitedly.

“
Yes,
I have plans with Gavin,” she
finally
admitted
. She kept her tone light but
Cleo
could tell by her expression just how excite
d
she was.

“Since when?”
Cleo
wanted to know.
Her
grin was so big
she
felt
her
facemask crackle.

“
This morning
.”

“And you’re just telling me now?
”

“Well, you know…
”
Emma
said with a shrug as she continued to smile
.

“Because you did
n’t want me to say ‘told you so’?”
Cleo
laughed. “Too bad.
‘
Told you so
’
. So tell me, how did it go?”

Now
Emma
laughed. “Well, for a minute, he just stood there blinking at me. I think maybe he
thought I was kidding? But then he just shrugged and said ‘okay’. Not the exuberant
response I had been hoping for from him, but it’ll suffice,” she joked.

“Well, I’m glad,”
Cleo
said as
she
reached for a strawberry of
her
own.

“But back to this weekend.
Is a movie night okay
?
Or should I try to come up with something else?
”

“I really don’t care,”
Cleo
honestly told her.

To
her
, turning eighteen wasn’t about the party. It was about
her
freedom. It was one huge obstacle out of
her
way. Too bad for
her
,
she
face
d
several more.

“Okay, I’ll talk to Lauren
and Mel
. Mayb
e we can come up with something,” Emma decided. “In the meantime, I’ve been thinking.”

Cleo
could tell by her tone that she was up to something.

“Uh, oh,”
she
said.

“I think you should start dating again. Maybe someone Gavin is friends with? We could
make it a double date?” Her voice had a pleading quality to it.
“We could have so much fun!”

Cleo
shook
her
head.

“Cleo, come on
. You can’t mope over Reece all year,” she said gently.

“That’s not why. It’s just…it’s hard with Luci. And really, I feel like I’m already
spread too thin. Between school, work, homework,
Luci’s
homework…” And everything else
she
had to do around
their
house. But
she
didn’t say that out loud because
she felt like she
was complaining too much already. “I
t’s
just
that I
don’t have time. And it was different with Reece
. H
e didn’t seem to mind hanging out at my house.”

She
began
play
ing with the buttons on
her
chair
in an effort to avoid conversation. She had no idea what they were for.
A motor started to hum as i
t started doing some crazy thing
s to
her
backside. It pounded
, vibrated and thudded along
her
body from
her
neck to
her
ankles.
She
jumped and then grimaced.

“It’s a massage chair,” Emma said with a laugh. “It’s supposed to be relaxing.”

She
poke
d
the
button
to turn it off.

“It wasn’t.
I kind of feel violated,” she said as she
squirmed in
her
seat. It had stilled again. The chair felt nothing like a real massage
.
That
had be
en relaxing. The bizarre motions of the chair just felt wrong.

She
was still fretting about the chair when
she
realized Emma was looking at
her
with a frown.

“What?”
she
asked resignedly.

“I don’t know. I just wish there was something I could do. Something to change things,”
she admitted.

“You know,”
Cleo
said with a sigh as
she
leaned
her
head back, “I’ve had a lot of time to think things over. I think in some ironic way,
this was for the best.”

“How so?”
Emma demanded
, her tone clearly stating that
she thought that
Cleo
was wrong.

“Well, I meant what I
said to
Reece in class the other day. I always felt like I was holding him back. Keeping
him from things, you know? And sometimes,”
she
closed
her
eyes, forcing
her
self to admit to
her
best friend something
she
’d never voice
d
out loud before, “sometimes I wondered if he stayed with me because he felt obligated.”

“Cleo!”

“No, hear me out,”
she
said quietly. “I was a mess when we met. Sometimes I wondered if he still saw me
as that same, weak girl. The one he had to hold together a lot of the time. Sometimes
I wondered if maybe he was just staying with me because he was afraid I’d break into
pieces if he left me.
I wondered if he was just staying with me because he felt responsible for me. For
Luci.”

“I really don’t think so,” Emma firmly replied.

“What guy his age wants to spend all of his time with someone in my situation? Shouldn’t
he be out with his friends?”

“He did that
,
too,” Emma pointed out. “You made sure of it.”

“He’s just too young to be so tied down,”
Cleo
argued.

“So are you.”

“It’s different, though. It’s my life. That’s just how it is. I mean, really, I don’t
have a choice.”

“Exactly,” Emma said. “
You
don’t have a choice. But Reece does.
Did,
anyway. You asked what kind of guy wants to spend time with a girl in your situation?
Reece. That’s the kind of guy. Because he’s totally head over heels in love with the
girl
in the situation. I don’t think it really mattered too much to him where you guys
were or what you were doing.
He just wanted to be with you.”