Cry Me a River PG-13 Edition (10 page)

I love t
he sound of the water as I break the surface into the salt water pool.  The smooth warmth of the saltwater takes me by surprise; I’d expected it to be a regular pool.  I do two laps and surface next to Caide still along the edge.

“Impressive dive, were you on the swim team?”

I nod my head yes as I tilt it to each side to drain my ears.  “Yeah, swimming was my escape from my mom.  She was always too drunk to be in the pool, so it was my safe haven.”

His hand reaches out and pulls me closer to him.  I didn’t notice the little alcove with a ledge to sit on.  I looked around and
discover there aren’t any ladders either.  Now, I don’t have to worry about the swimsuit wedgies as I get out of the pool.

“Come here, closer.”  He pulls me until he has me on his lap.  The water is crystal clear and lightly splashing as we fumble around to get comfortable. 

The closeness of his body is making me keenly aware of every touch.  We don’t talk, just face each other, our eyes locked.  As his hands glide along the length of my spine, I wonder if he can feel the goose bumps he’s giving me. 

I can’t stop swaying into him, my chin tilts up and his tilts down, and our mouths locked us together.  He’s maneuvered me until my legs are wrapped around his waist, and his arms are locked behind my back.  How he managed to stand on the little ledge, with me wrapped around him like a spider monkey is beyond me.  He
stands and holds me to him until we reach the lawn furniture.  Caide gently places me on a long chaise lounge that looks like it belongs inside of the house.  We kiss and roll from his back to my back, our body’s never losing contact…as though it was what kept us alive…our human touch.

His kisses are getting deeper and more passionate as we explore each other with our hands.  My brain is telling me to keep my cool, not to let things go too far.  My body is telling me not to listen to my brain.

“River?”

“Caide?”

“I really want you,” he says.

“Aaaand?”

“And, I can’t.”  Caide abruptly stands up, breaking our life line.  “I want to, but I’m not going to, not tonight, River.”

The heat
that was taking over my body sizzles out.  “You don’t have to worry about my virtue or anything, I’ve had sex.”

“God, I want to
, River, more than anything….but you’re not the kind of girl for a one night stand…and I don’t know if I’m ready to be anything else.  I can’t do that to you.”

I stare at him as though he just grew horns and a tail.  “Who says I
want a relationship?  I’m not holier than thou; I can be a whore when I want to.”

“I know this is going to sound like a
pansy, but I need time.  I just lost someone who I loved, and I’m a little afraid of losing someone else.  I’m not saying it won’t happen, but it won’t happen tonight.”  He scratches the back of his head as he paces back and forth.

  I roll my eyes.  “Okay….. I guess.  It’s going to be a long day
tomorrow; I’m calling it a night.”  I walk away with a bruised ego and the taste of his kisses on my lips.

Tucking in my pride, I take the walk of shame towards my room.  Jed is standing with his arms crossed and a scowl on his face.  It would be inappropriate to stick my tongue out at him, so I saunter past him
and his judgmental stare.  The creaking of the oven door reminds me of the delicious smelling treats Caide made.  My stomach growls, but I refuse to succumb to my sweet tooth.

I start to turn the handle to my room and think better of it; I need to talk to my bodyguard. 

“Jed, we need to set some ground rules.  First, it would be easier to deal with you lurking around the corner if you didn’t act so…so…I don’t know…so bodyguard(ish).  You look like a cop with your brooding look and your arms crossed.  If you haven’t noticed, there really isn’t a bunch of people around to protect me from.  I guess you could protect me from myself, but there isn’t anything you can do to stop me from my own self-destruction.”  With a ‘humph’ I cross my arms and stare back at him.

“Yes ma’am.  Miss River, I’m not here to judge you or be your friend.  Until I get a feel for your comings and goings, I won’t relax.  How should I know who comes and goes from this house without observation?” 

“Were you watching Caide and me outside?”  I glare at him as though he were the enemy.  “Do you get off watching people like some type of voyeur?” Sarcasm drips from every word.

“I respect your privacy as much as possible.  I couldn’t help but notice you two flopping around on the chaise like two horny teenagers.  Frankly, I’m surprised you’re going to bed alone.  All you need to do is go on about your life as if I’m not around, and we’ll get along.  I’m not here to intrude, but if you need me, just say my name.”   Jed’s silky smooth voice makes every word sound like ‘come hither’. 

It’s disturbing to think he doesn’t have anyone at home to protect.  He doesn’t have a wedding band on, and it’s unfathomable to believe he’s not some woman’s last thoughts before bed tonight.

“Fine, I’ll pretend you’re not around, but I doubt my staff will pretend the same.  I’m going to bed, it’s almost midnight and Caide has Good Morning America here in a few hours.  Just so you know, I’m not mad at you, this isn’t your fault, it’s my poor judgment.” 

“I’m sleeping downstairs, here’s my cell number,” he hands me a card.  “Program it into your phone.  Oh, there’s a baby monitor in your room so I can hear you.  You can turn it off while you’re on the phone or whatever you do before bed, but please turn it back on before you fall asleep.  It will keep me from having to sleep in the room with you.”

I shake my head and mutter “unbelievable” under my breath.
“K.”  I walk away with my displaced frustration.

The bed is soft, and Rusty finds
her place snuggled up on my left side with her head resting on my tummy.  Casanova is draped across the pillow but he allows me a small spot under his belly, he makes the perfect head warmer. 

I put my Kindle on my chest to watch Pretty Little Liars and before I know it, my eyes grow heavy and my brain quits processing the show.  Sleep is moments away, and my body is twitching as it settles into the bed for the night.

A pounding on my door jars me awake.

“River!  Get up!”  Caide’s voice on the other side of my door yells.

I jump up and throw my robe over my naked body.  “What’s wrong, is there a fire or something?”

“Actually, there is.  Get up, we have to go to your store…it’s on fire!”  Caide’s frantic tone startles me awake.

“My store’s on fire?  When?  Now?”  My hand trembles as I tuck my hair behind my ear, a habit I’ve done for as long as I can remember.  “I’ll throw on some clothes, it will only take me a second.” 

“I’ll meet you in the
car; Jed will wait for you in the house and walk you out.”

“Okay!”  I scramble around in my suitcase and find a pair of cut offs and a t-shirt with RELAX written across the front.  An 80’
s band sang a song called, Relax (don’t do it). 

I grab my purse and meet Jed outside of my bedroom door.  He’s creepy….like a raccoon sneaking around.  No more than two minutes elapsed since Caide was at my door.  I check my phone and its 12:45 am.

“Are you ready Miss River?”  Jed asks.  “I’m going to follow you and Caide out to the store.  Don’t worry, I can keep up.”

I have no doubts about his
capabilities; I just think he’s creepy.

Caide is standing outside of his car when we walk out into the summer night.  The only sounds are birds chirping.  They’re probably gossiping about
Caide’s latest conquest. 

“We’ll be there in five minutes flat.  Are you okay?”  Caide asks and as he holds the car door open for me.

“What happened?”  I want nothing more than to take a puff off my e-cigarette; instead I fidget through my purse looking for chapstick.

“Garrett’s guys started tonight as well, and they were patrolling when they spotted flames shooting out through the roof.”

“Did they see anyone?  Why would this Lance guy want to sabotage me so bad?  Do you think it’s him?  I mean, yeah, he roofied me, but is he capable of all of this other stuff?  I’m sure my insurance rates will go through the roof after this.”  I babble on about Lance and Caide sits quietly, as I come up with ten scenarios of how this could have happened.

“It could be something less sinister and be a faulty wiring case.  Don’t jump to any conclusions until we talk to the firemen and police.  You’re lucky no one was in the building and this happened in middle of the night.”  Caide’s voice of reason grinds on my nerves.

We're a block away from the store and we see black smoke billowing into the night sky.  The closer we get to the shop, my heart speeds up a little more with every breath I take.

Caide pulls into the parking lot and a sob escapes my mouth.  Nothing I’ve ever done has prepared me for this moment.  My store is completely engulfed in flames.  There’s no denying the loss of my hard work and the loss of jobs for my employees.  It will take months to rebuild the store
.  It will be a fiasco of jumping through hoops for the insurance adjusters.  I’ve dealt with them over hurricane damage last year and that was minor compared to this. The smell of burning electrical wires and fabric float across the parking lot along with embers from the burning building.

Caide reaches over and takes my hand into his and I’m overwhelmed with emotions.  His simple act of kindness has trapped the two of us into a calamity of trouble.  One night, with a stranger has rocked my world to the core. 

“It’s okay River, it’s just things….it can be replaced.  I’m so glad you weren’t there, this could have been much worse.”  He squeezes my hand before letting go to put the car in park. 

A policeman rushes over to us as we climb out of the car.

“You can’t be here!  Get back into your car, this isn’t a circus show!”  The officer complains to us.

“They’re with me
John; this is my client’s store that’s burning.  Garrett called to tell me about the fire.”  Jed comes over and stands next to me.

“Are you River Jaded Murphy?”

I nod my head yes, fear and sadness keep me from speaking.

“Jaded?” Caide whispers to me.  I nudge him with my shoulder, acknowledging his teasing.  I don’t tell him about how my parents planned on calling me RJ, but it never came to fruition. 

“I’m Officer Ettore, follow me, I want to ask you a few questions…alone.”

I turn to Jed for reassurance
and he says its protocol. 

Officer Ettore and I walk closer to the fire truck, stopping at a police car with its lights flashing.  “Before we start, I want you to understand that we don’t have any idea right now if it is arson.  I’m asking the questions so if it comes down to being an arson case, we can get it solved quickly.  The fire chief and the police department will work with your insurance company to take care of everything.  Are you okay out here or would you rather sit in the car?”

“Whatever’s easier for you.” I attempt to give him a smile, but I know it comes across as a crooked smirk.

“Have you had any work done to the store in the past week?”

I shake my head no.  He checks a box on his questionnaire.

“Have you stocked any fertilizer in the store?”  Officer Ettore asks.

Huh?  What the hell?  “No, why would I have fertilizer?”

“It’s just a question ma’am.  Do you know anyone who would want to burn down your business? 
It could be a disgruntled employee.”

“No, my employees are great, and they wouldn’t take it out on my building.”  I look around for Caide, hoping he hasn’t gone too far.  “What’s going on, do you think
its arson?”

“We don’t know, I know there was a small explosion, so we need to rule out anything sinister.  You filed a complaint about a guy named Lance, has he continued to cause you problems?  You have Jed with you,
are you one of his clients?”

Ten minutes later and I’m wishing we’d sat inside the officer’s car.  The smell of fire is giving me a headache and I think I need some water. 

“If you’re done with me, may I be excused?” 

“Oh sure, I have your number if I need anything else.  Here’s my card, if you think of anything, just give me a call.”

Jed and Caide are in an in-depth conversation about the best tailgating foods for football season.  Caide holds out his hand to me and I gladly accept it.  They continue to talk and my mind begins to wander.  How could someone do this to another person’s livelihood?  I’d cry if my head didn’t hurt so badly.

“Caide, you can go back to the house, I know you have a camera crew showing up in a couple of hours.  Jed can give me a ride to the house I’m sure.” 

After some coaxing, Caide agrees to leave, only after I swear I’ll text him with updates.  His kindness is unexpected and endearing, the more I get to know him. 

____________________________________________

Beauty of whatever kind,

In its supreme development,

Invariably excite the sensitive soul to tears.

Edgar Allan Poe

CAIDE

“I don’t grasp how you dropped the ball, but I dropped a chunk of change on your company and now her business is burning down!  We agreed that you’d have someone at her store by six last night….before the contract was signed.”  I called Garrett the minute I drove away from the fire.

“My guys were there all night.  I stopped by to talk to them after
we did the contract.  It seems as though the explosion was caused by a bomb of some sort.  They told me there was an explosion and then the fire.  What brand of psycho’s are you running from,” Garrett complained.

“I don’t know, but I’m getting tired of this
crap.  Whoever’s behind this will have hell to pay.  I’ll give you a call in the afternoon.  I have work to do.  Later man,” I don’t give him a chance to say good-bye before I hang up.

Why is this guy doing this to River?  He’s afraid of people finding out he roofied her, but doesn’t have a problem blowing up her business
!  Something isn’t adding up, and I’m going to find out the truth.

Right now, I have to get things ready for the camera crew to arrive.  Becky should be here at three thirty
; she played Sous-chef and prepped everything that needed chopped, sliced or diced.  My mom will usually help out, but she called yesterday to tell me she has bronchitis and can’t come over.  Normally, I’d be disappointed about her not coming, but with everything going on, I’m happy she won’t be in danger of Lance the lunatic.

I flip on my
in-the-zone
playlist and start with a little Disturbed to bake muffins to. 

Why did I stop myself from having sex with River?  When I came up out of the water and saw her standing there, it took every ounce of restraint to keep myself in the water.  Her curves were begging to be traced with my fingers
and her lips were made for….mmmmm.  I wonder if she likes it with the lights on and music blaring. 

River, what
has she done to me?  There’s something about her that’s so different from other girls.  She’s hardened, but sweet.  She makes me want to protect her and keep her safe.  I wasn’t even like that for Heather.  The two of us were like oil and water, but we sizzled with lust.  Heather’s and my entire relationship was built on lust and sex.  We did it the first night we met, and when we lived together, we never went a day without sex.  Heather wasn’t into sweet slow love making; she wanted it to be rough and wild.  I guess I’m a freak of nature, a guy who wants to savor the feeling.

Lucy changed the dynamics in
Heather’s and my relationship.  In the beginning, Heather was a doting mother, playing dress-up with Lucy and bringing her to the set for everyone to see.  She told me she needed more energy to keep up with the demands of a mom.  She started with Ritalin, convincing the doctor she was A.D.D.  Someone she met out at the beach told her that if she took her Ritalin and snorted some coke she’d have the energy to keep up with Lucy.  If I ever find the dealer who told her it was a good idea, I’ll personally put them six feet under.  I’ve tried a few drugs here and there, but it never appealed to me. 

Hey Caide - we’re headed back to your house. Do you need anything from the store?

I check the text and again I’m reminded of the difference between Heather and River.  Heather loathed the store, and wouldn’t ever offer to go for me.

I’m good - will be better when you’re here. See you soon.

As I slide two trays of muffins into the oven, I hear Rusty barking.  She’s a much better guard than my cat.  Damn cat, never lets me know when someone’s around.  As though he could hear my thoughts, Dex looks up at me from his perch on the back of the couch.

“Yeah, I’m talking about you.” I say to the cat just as River and Jed reach the top step.

“Is someone else here?” River asks.

I sigh and laugh, “Nope, just me and my guard-cat.  Did you guys find anything out?”

River crosses the room, her eyes are red and her hair is draped over her shoulders in two braids.  The look on her face is giving away the stress she’s under.  She hops up on a barstool and snags an apple from the fruit bowl.  “The fire marshal came and talked to me saying there’s evidence that a homemade bomb went off.  Someone literally bombed my business,” her voice strains on the last word.  “Caide, what did I do to this guy to piss him off so much?”  The hand she’s holding the apple in trembles to the point she sets it down.

“
I’m not sure River, something is amiss though.  Jed, what’s your take?”  I glance over at Jed who’s on the other barstool.

“It all sounds really off.  River told me all about the club and everything that’s happened since… it doesn’t sound normal.  Most people who are afraid of you going to the cops won’t make such a public assault on you.  I can’t help but wonder if this was all a set up by her friend Gwen.  On the off chance this isn’t Lance, it is someone with a bone to pick with one of you two.”

I stopped working to register what he said.  “You think it could be someone else?  I never even considered that someone else would harass us.  If you have a private investigator that you recommend, I’d like you to give them a call for me.”

“After the incident at River’s store, you probably won’t need to hire anyone.  The North Carolina Bureau of Investigation will be checking this out sometime today.  They may even bring in the FBI, it depends on what they find about the bomb.”  Jed stands up and pushes his stool back up to the counter.

“That’s interesting, and insane.  I’m sorry, but right now, I have to focus on getting this cooking done.”  I study River’s face and realize it might have come out rude.  “Hey River, if you’re not too tired, would you like to help me with some stuff?” 

“I’d love to.  Let me go throw on some other clothes real quick, I can’t get the smell of the fire
out of my nose.”  She bounces up from the bar and sprints away to her room.

“She’s a great girl, I can tell just by the talks we had while we watched her place burn down.  She has a positive attitude for someone who’s had a few hard knocks.  Thank you for bringing me on, I like working for smart people.”  Jed pauses, “I’m going to grab a nap while you do your show.  Unless you need me to stay.”

“No, we’ll be safe for a few hours.  Sleep well.”

____________________________________________

My legs
are like lead as I walk up the stairs for the tenth time in twenty minutes.  The final production team members just left, and now, it’s River and me to clean up.  I’d sent Becky home at 8:30, which was almost an hour ago.  River’s wiping down the counters and humming to herself and for the first time since yesterday, we are officially alone, minus Jed.  

Her shorts show off h
er tan legs, which remind me how they were wrapped around my waist in the pool.  My existence is hyper-aware of everything about River and her body.  The way her lips opened wide as she took a bite of her apple hours ago, it sent my imagination over the edge of sanity.  I love how she tilts her head to the right when she’s giving all of her attention to a story.  At Al Anon, she tilts and listens intently to every person as they speak.  Her North Carolina accent comes out most when she’s tired, I suspect she tries to hide it, but she can’t.  I especially like it when she says please and thank you, that girl can talk country to me any time. 

That night when Lance drugged her, I sat in the chair and watched her breath for hours, never getting tired of watching her chest rise and fall.  She
mumbled in her sleep, making me want to invade her dreams to know what she dreams about. 

“What’s got you deep in thought?”  River’s voice interrupts my thoughts, bringing me back to this moment.

“Sleep with me,” I boldly say.

Her eyes are as wide as saucers and she’s absently biting her lip as she searches my face for any hints of teasing.

“I want to hold you in my arms and fall asleep.  I’ve wanted to hold you close all morning, to feel your warmth against me.  No funny business, just sleep.  This way I won’t worry about you in the room, all alone….thinking about me.” 

She playfully swipes the dishtowel at me.  “Yep, that’s what I do…. I pine for you through the night.”  Her sarcasm amuses me, just as she intends
to.

I hold my hand out to her
and she takes it in hers.  I lead her away to my bedroom, to the safety of my bed.

“Tell me about her…” River says as she settles into me.

We’re in my bed, she has on one of my t-shirts and
the shorts she had on in the kitchen.  We’re both on our side, her back to me as I spoon her body.  My arm is draped over her and she is holding my hand to her chest.  “Who?”  Surely, she doesn’t want to hear any more about Heather, it feels odd to be in this position talking about a dead ex.

“Lucy, I want to know more about her.”

“You do?”

River turns over to face me.  “I do, you’re going through so much to have her with you, when other dads would walk away.  You take the responsibility seriously… and I like that about you.  I think that’s what makes you so sexy,” she says bashfully.

“Sexy, huh?  Flattery will get you….anywhere you want.  No seriously, yeah, I guess some guys would turn their back.  That would be the last thing I’d ever do.  Sure, her grandparents love her, but I’m her dad.  I think girls need their dads.” Good going dumbass, make her feel bad about not having a dad. 

“You’re right, we do need our dads.  God knows I could have used mine, especially on nights when my livelihood is burned down.  Dads make it better.”

I lean forward and touch my forehead to hers.  “Lucy is full of laughter and silliness.  She has never been a crier, she will pout, though.  I can bribe her with a slice of an apple just as easy as I can with a cookie.  Lucy loves all things fruit.  If she could have her way, fruit would be the only thing she eats.  When she’s here, I have to actually hide the fruit bowl, or she’ll stand and point at it until I cave.”

“I bet you do cave pretty easily.”

I think about it for a moment and realize it’s true, I do.  “Guilty as charged.  I’m ready for her to come home.  Damn, I nearly forgot!”

“What’s wrong?” 

“The painters are going to be here at noon to paint her room.  I’m going to send a text to Jed and tell him to let them in.  You think that’s okay?  It isn’t like he’s the maid or anything.”

“I’m sure he’d understand, I wouldn’t worry.  What are you doing with her room?”  River wraps her arm around me and scoots in closer
.  We’re an inch away from her crushing against me, and my brain wanders to that thought for a moment.  “Are you sleeping with your eyes open?” She says and nudges me.

“Oh sorry.  I’m having her nursery fixed up into a fairy garden bedroom.  I’ll show you the sketches when we get up, if yo
u’d like to see them.  So, tell me, what do you think of kids?”  There it is, the question men dread being asked, and now I’m the one asking.

Her body goes rigid for a second, just like mine would do if I were her
being asked about kids.

“I haven’t put any thought into having kids.  I guess I’m afraid of being like my mom so it scares me a little.  No kid deserves that life.”

Heather would have been that type of mom, the one whose kid prays they’re nothing like her.

A look of sadness passes over her expression, only for a moment, but I noticed.

“You’re right.  Let’s get some sleep, we can talk about this heavy stuff another time.”  I kiss the tip of her nose and my arms pull her in until our bodies meld together as one.

____________________________________________

“Stew, I told you I’d meet you at the beach.  It’s Friday night, and the beach isn’t going anywhere.  I told you already, River went to Wilmington to take care of some business, she’ll be back tomorrow.  Before you ask, yes, you can stay the night.  I picked up some beer earlier so I’ll get the ice-chest ready and meet you there in an hour.” 

“See you then.”

“Later.”  I’d been on the phone with Stewart for the last fifteen minutes.  He stopped by the set the other day as I was doing the segment for the local news asking if I wanted to party this weekend. It wasn’t until I knew that River was going out of town to talk to the State Insurance Company, that I knew I’d be able to go out with him. River and Jed left for Wilmington at six this morning.  Garrett is staying here tonight since we agreed to beef up security since Jed left for the night with River.

My flask hasn’t been used in a couple of weeks, until tonight, I plan on filling it with Four Roses and get
ting wasted.  I’m sick of living in a fishbowl without any control over everything.  How Heather dying has sent my entire simple existence into a tailspin is eating me alive.  Alex has been leaving me messages about having River stay at my house.  It all sucks, how I’m not allowed to have a life because I have a daughter.  I’m not turning my back on someone I care about because Alex thinks it looks bad.  It is the courts fault in the first place…if they hadn’t sent me to Al Anon meetings, I’d never have to deal with this crap.