Crystal Bella (22 page)

“God
!” she said.

The c
rystal was still in Ethan’s right hand. He went back to his room to mediate, wow
, this crystal really does have special powers,
he lightly said to himself. Kali jumped into the shower thinking what a perfect start to the day.

As Ethan meditated he thought about Kali.
It felt beautiful to touch her, somehow it felt innocent too. It was like he had never touched a girl before. When he touched Kali, it just felt like it was for the first time.

                                       ~~~~

It was five minutes to midnight and tomorrow would be Monday and Kali would be leaving for a week. Kali had been busy doing a few things getting ready for her trip. Ethan was going to take her to the airport. Kali came around to see him, to quickly spend some time together.

Ethan was already in bed
when she arrived. Kali had a bag with her, just in case she decided to stay the night. As soon as she saw Ethan she knew she had to stay. The previous night, she didn’t really care that she was unprepared but tonight she had her nightie with her and she decided to put it on and jumped into bed with Ethan.

T
hey could faintly hear the waves and they curled up into each other going into the deepest sleep.

In the morning they drove
behind one another to Kali’s place. They dropped her car off and she jumped in with Ethan and he took her to the airport. They played the music loudly and they were happy listening to the tunes and chatting away. The closer they got to the airport the more anxious Kali started to feel. Ethan was more in the moment, right now he was with her and that was all that mattered to him, for now.

They arrive
d at the airport and Ethan took her suitcase out of his car and they walked together hand in hand into the airport. They checked in and grabbed a coffee at the airport cafe and sat down.

“One week, angel Ethan.
”

“
I know and 10 minutes now. It feels different now, déjà vu like again. It’s like I have been here before and seen this moment long ago. Your departure, your insanely gorgeous beauty is opening up everything. I will miss you the moment you’re not here.”

“One second or an hour or so before you miss me?”

“It will be 24 hours that forms a different time and enters into a millisecond full of love that pines for you immediately.”

“Is that
less than a second?”

“
It is. It’s a very special millisecond that has a portal.”

They looked at one another and their eyes watered.

“I thought I’d be cool, but this is so hard. I will miss and pine for you immediately,” he said.

They held each other, touching just feeling the warmth of who they were against each other, never wanting to let go.

“You were going to show me how to meditate,” she said.

“
Oh yeah...”

Ethan
started talking about meditation and Kali listened, but really she was only thinking,
I have to leave Ethan in five minutes.
She was pretending to listen, but her mind was thinking about Ethan and being away from him. Ethan kept talking and was pretty happy. He was in the moment, free of how he would feel a little later when she had to go.

T
he clock hit 3.33 and a sharp intake of breath from them both. It was time for her to go. They got up, arm in arm and walked towards the gate. They were almost one now, inseparable as they held each other walking. Ethan was still in the moment and was feeling happy just to be with her, but he would feel different very soon.

They kiss
ed at the gate and every time Kali was about to walk through, she returned and kissed him one more time. They couldn’t say good bye, it was so hard. Ethan didn’t want to leave her, even for just one week. It seemed too long.

“
I nearly forgot I need to take a photo of us,” Ethan said.

Ethan pulled a camera out of his pocket. Kali didn’t like having her phot
o taken too much even though she was photogenic. They put their arms around each other and Ethan put his arm out with the camera, so the camera was facing them.

“I’m not that photogenic,” she
said.

Ethan could sense how she was feeling
and wanted to do something to distract her from her self consciousness.

“Okay
, it’s cool, I’ll take a shot now, but I want you to remember that time yesterday when I bumped into you outside the bathroom and I had the crystal in my hand and you had no pants on.”

And with that she
remembered and broke out into a smile and Ethan clicked the camera.

They kissed and then Kali had to go, but then she would return for
one more kiss, one more time. Some old ladies from the side laughed and watched as she kept returning to kiss Ethan. It was hard for them to depart. She went back and forth about four times with their final kiss.

Kali had to go this time, so they kissed one more time and then she left
through the gate and Ethan watched from his side. He wanted to run through but he couldn’t. He just had to watch. He had this pull within him but all he could do was watch as she left. The pull was immense, it took everything within him not to go running through and be with her. It surprised Ethan how intense he felt.

“
I’ll be back before you know it, Ethan. I love you!” she shouted from the other side.

Ethan waved at her and gave her a
, ‘I love you.’ Lip-synched with signs from his hands. He was then suddenly hit with sadness as he realized Kali was gone.

~ CHAPTER THIRTEEN ~

THE HUSBAND

Kali sat on the plane, she missed Ethan already and now she was going to see her husband. She was ready to break up with him, but she had to handle this right and as much as she didn’t want to do this, she placed the wedding ring back on her finger. It made her feel perplexed and guilty and she quietly said to herself as she put the ring on.

“
Sorry Ethan, so sorry, I just need to do this, just this once.”

The passenge
r next to her heard her words.

“
Were you talking to me?”

“
No just talking to myself.”  

“
Sure I thought so. Oh she’s chatting to me, what are the chances!?”

His name was Bra
ndon and he couldn’t believe his luck that he got to sit next to this beautiful woman.

Kali didn’t say anything
. She was too preoccupied with Ethan and her situation. Brandon went to say something but nothing really came out. He was a little awkward and geeky. After finding no flow to continue any conversation, he grabbed the magazine in front of him to ease the situation.

“
This should be a good read!” and he planted his face in it. He pretended to read but all he was doing was trying to take another glance at Kali.

The plane came to its landin
g and all the passengers got up. Brandon watched Kali get off. He was too shy to say anything to her, so admiring her from afar was the next best thing he could do. Kali got up knowing her husband would be waiting for her. The last time they had spoken he sounded so excited to hear from her. He wasn’t really listening to anything she was saying, so she couldn’t really say much. All he knew was that she was coming back. That was all he wanted to hear.

She came thro
ugh the doors and there was Jason, her husband of two years and partner of six. He looked happy but so conservative to her now. Him and Ethan were as opposite as you could get. He had flowers in his hand and he looked so happy. She walked up and he gave her a big hug and kissed her. He tried to kiss her on the mouth and she went slightly to the left, so she missed his lips. He gave her the flowers.

“Thank you, they’
re lovely,” she said.

Jason
stopped and moved Kali to the side, away from everyone and looked intensely at her.

“
I’ve missed you,” he said.

Kali looked back,
stuck with what to say, she wanting to make it easy and say I miss you too. She would have done so in the past and quite easily have said a white lie to him, but not now, she couldn’t do it to herself, or to Ethan. She said nothing.

“
You look wonderful,” he said.

“
Thank you.”  

They stare
d for a brief moment. Kali decided to look back at him and look into his eyes. All she could see was the past, a path that she was so disconnected to now. There was no spark then and not now. She had to look though, to find her truth and to see how she felt. She had to surrender and face him and register what she was feeling. She had to do it. She wanted to observe him and her own feelings in that brief moment. Jason saw it differently he just saw the beautiful Kali staring back at him with those gorgeous eyes. Then Kali could feel the moment building up so she took the lead.

“O
kay, let’s do it,” she said.

T
hey started walking towards the baggage area. She kept the conversation in line with trivial matters, like her baggage, how long it would take, where to locate it, to avoid any intimacy on any level. Sure enough it was like they had skipped the intro and got right back to where it used to be, chatting about trivia, though usually he led the way. She had always wanted more depth, more fun, but he never did, so it felt good for her to lead the way and make boring conversation because today was different, today it made sense.

The
y waited for about three minutes with standard conversation, then her bags arrived, right next to each other and so fast. She was the first one to get her baggage. It felt like a sign for her.
This baggage is coming and going fast.
She started walking and Jason grabbed one of her bags and they walked and had polite conversation. Then it was like Jason was okay with the bland words that were spoken. He didn’t seem to mind anymore.
Had he slipped back into his old patterns,
this quickly?

They ca
me to their car and they jumped in and Jason placed all the bags in the perfect position, so extremely neat and tidy with order. It seemed to bug Kali, just with how he was so organized. Ethan would have thrown them in, grabbed her bum and then told her he loved her. Ethan was full of surprises and it was always love. He was a rebel but he was so gentle, he was outrageous but a saint to her and that was all she wanted. Jason in this short time was acting like a prude, perfect in his structure but so messy in the finer things, like a heart and a beating pulse.

Kali sat
in the car just staring ahead as Jason drove. She was thinking about the subject she was going to have to bring up. She remained polite towards Jason filling in the gaps when she had too. Jason was becoming quite chatty. He still looked happy and Kali felt split between who she was and where she was. They were like two different time zones. With Ethan she felt different time zones but it was magical, deep and new and hard to fathom or explain with the multi levels of it all. This was different, this was somber and plain. The more she thought about all this, the more she had the feeling to say something. Something was rebelling in her. The more time spent with Jason, the more awful her feelings were. It had gone from guilt to trepidation, to frustration, then to the current moment, and the feeling she had now did not feel good at all. Her feelings were coming up and they felt heavy and awful.

They pull
ed up at their house and they got out of the car. Kali went to grab her suitcase out of the boot, though Jason ever attentive now jumped before her.

“
I’ll grab that for you, sweetheart.”

He grab
bed all her bags and walked a few steps and then he stopped and placed the bags down.

“
I have to pause at what’s in front of me for a sec. I’ve missed you. I know in the past you’ve asked me to me to be more open. This time away just makes you reassess things, put priorities right.”

Kali knew
it was not the place for a deep and meaningful, mid shifting the baggage. She stood there looking at him. She just looked at Jason, and she wondered,
can you read my thoughts? No.

“
Anyway let’s head inside,” she said.

T
hey headed to the door.

“
Take a good last look, Kali because we’re moving upwards.”

Shut up Jason!

He was
referring to their new home and it bugged her. Jason worked at the bank and status meant a lot to him. Getting up higher, moving upwards, growth, words she loathed now.

They open
ed the door and walked inside. Kali walked in looking around her old home.

“
This place, the memories…” she said.

“
Don’t worry even better memories coming.”

“
Excuse me, back in a moment.”

Kali went to the bathroom. S
he put her hands on her face, she felt stressed. It was all different to how she thought it would be. Jason was miles away from her emotionally. Everything seemed to frustrate her. She was so scared to tell him before, but now she seemed to be rebelling, not on the outside but from within. She suddenly wanted to cry, everything was making her confused. To be in love with Ethan, to be here with Jason, to feel pissed off towards him and then she was going to have to break his heart.
Was she a bitch?
In the end she decided
no.
I just want him to understand and hear me for once.
And that was what was really annoying her, he wasn’t listening to her at all. He was in his head, in his own world. Ethan could understand anything, she didn’t even have to tell him, he just knew, he was easy and he knew her blueprint. She also realized she had never fully expressed herself truthfully to Jason. She had always been so diplomatic and that was part of the current problem, she was annoyed at Jason but also at herself. He never listened and she didn’t say enough. She didn’t listen to herself and she had compromised.

She looked
in the mirror and knew this was no time to be tough on herself. She didn’t want to feel bad. If she had compromised it was in the past, right now in front of her was a strong, beautiful woman, that was who she was now, not the girl from before. That girl had led her to here, to this moment and she had to thank that girl. As Ethan had said on the row boat that day, it got her to where she is. That past woman of who she was, had got her to Ethan and now she had to let that past go and she would have to talk with Jason and say her truth. She had too, she needed that release. She had to be one with her soul, no more lies, just truth. Just my love she said to herself.

Kali looked in the mirror, l
ooked at her beautiful, green eyes. Sometimes they looked more blue, now they were more greenish, and when she looked at herself she could see how beautiful she was. Her eyes looked sparkling and they glowed, there was a shine that came out of them. She had seen the same glow and shine in Ethan’s eyes. It was love, it was the soul shining through. She saw her beauty and said aloud, “I love you Kali, I love you.”

She was ready to speak her truth, she prayed to her
angels to guide her through this experience.                                              

She r
eturned from the bathroom, Jason was standing in the lounge waiting for her.

“
Come here,” he said.

Kali looked at him and everything was
making sense now. His blatant inability to pick up on her emotions was just adding to her frustration. She couldn’t quite nail it before with what was making her feel almost repulsed by him and it was that. His want, his desire, which was at total opposites to how she was feeling, but he had no idea, and with all the dynamics going on in her life it had been hard to unravel this in the short space of time. But that was why she felt annoyance towards him. Jason noticed her resistance, though was still unaware to how cold she felt towards him.

“
I’ve got something to show you, come on in, it’s in the bedroom,” he said.

So be it
and they walked over and into the room which was covered in petals and flowers. Jason didn’t say anything, he was impressed with his own behavior. He was not usually romantic, this meant a lot to him. It was his way of showing Kali how he had changed. He just stood there smiling at her. She felt clear within, calm, finally it was her moment to be with her truth and say whatever she felt like, and she was going to. She surrendered to the moment and allowed her heart to speak.

“
Jason……they are pretty……I can only give you my truth here, that’s all.”

She paused and looked at Jason
who was waiting to hear, he looked like he was going to hear something and for the first time he looked unsure, or he knew what was coming was going to be an unpleasant surprise. He looked insecure.

“
It’s over,” she said, “I’m not in love with you. I haven’t been in love with you for a long time. This time away has made me realize this. I don’t want to hurt you, it’s the last thing I want. But I feel stuck, just in the small time of being here with you today, I cannot live like this. I need to leave, I can’t be with you anymore.”

It was quiet for about four seconds, both digesting what had been said.

“I don’t know what to say.”

“Jason…fuck, I’m sorry.”

“I thought this time away was to reflect and become closer, not move apart, not spring a surprise on me like this.”

“
I’ve existed on a plateau with you, I really have. I’ve tried over the years to transcend you, me, us and I couldn’t. You couldn’t even understand it, let alone apply it. I’ve wanted to be heard, loved, truly loved and you cannot hear my heart and after a time it starts to bug, it starts to grate, where my essence is screaming for more. You want a bigger house, a promotion, more money and in the process you have lost me…you simply don’t see me. That’s how I’ve been feeling for a long time.”

“
What do want me to do?”

“
Hear me for once.”

“
That’s okay, I can do that, but we need to discuss this. You can’t just have a temper and throw this on me.”

“
This is not my temper, it’s my truth. This is how I feel. You could never hear me in the past can you try for this one time, now that I’m leaving?”

He l
ooked at her, almost stunned. The air felt thick, it had become so dense like the heaviness was forming in the air. So few words from Kali to describe a time that they had together, and her feelings of that time, then an outcome that changed the life for Jason in a few seconds.