Read CUL-DE-SAC (On The Edge Book 1) Online
Authors: M.E. YILDIRIM
Research showed that the Muay Thai knee was
the equivalent of being hit by a car at thirty-five miles per hour. If one got
hit with the technique, it was obvious they were not getting up off the floor
anytime soon.
It happened to him once and it hurt like a
bitch. He was not interested in a repeat anytime soon. It was all about the
sharp blunt force and the precise delivery of the strike.
He used his left hand and guided the
incoming punch to his right hip which not only added more power to the
technique but it helped him to avoid a shot straight to his face.
Always a bonus, Xan thought, especially
considering the blows he had received already.
With his right hand, he reached the back of
his opponent’s head and his right heel went off the ground. He leaned back to
thrust his hips forward, aiming for his attacker’s solar plexus and landing the
powerful kick perfectly.
The guy groaned and folded like a shrimp.
The crowd went wild but Xan didn’t feel any
kind of satisfaction. He was indifferent when people were slapping his back,
congratulating him another successful fight under his belt.
He felt detached from the whole event
because his mind was still replaying the one from before which took place in
the club’s room. All he cared about was convincing Cat to allow him to explain.
How was he going to persuade her he didn’t touch Chloé when the scene before
her eyes looked pretty straightforward?
He didn’t know.
What he knew was that he would have read
the whole scene exactly the same if he were in her position.
Nothing would ever sway him that it was not
what it seemed.
The difference was he would have gone
straight for the throat and drawn blood. Catalina was burying her hurt under
layers of icy demeanor where nobody could reach her.
He hoped the little slap she delivered to
his face was a crack in this appearance of hers and that he would be able to
get through it and get a hold of his wounded Kitten.
Catalina had never had a panic attack and
she didn’t think she was having one now, but the shaking hands and the
breathing difficulties she was currently experiencing seemed like common signs.
When she reached her car, she realized she had
lost her purse somewhere in the club but there was absolutely no way she was
going back in there, she thought, and her breath hitched.
Luckily her car keys were in the back
pocket of her jeans and she didn’t think she had ever been as happy for her
negligence in putting things in their rightful place as she was at the moment.
She didn’t have her driving license, her
house keys or any other kind of ID, and the way things went with Gabriel today
she couldn’t even have high hopes for the Lieutenant’s intervention if she were
stopped by a police patrol.
Just her luck, Cat thought, and choked back
a laugh, too afraid it would turn into a sob.
She couldn’t go back to her house unless
she wanted to add breaking and entering to the long list of things that went horribly
wrong in the last twenty-four hours.
Xan and Chloé.
A best friend and boyfriend together was
such banality and the last thing she would have ever expected happening to her.
But wasn’t it always the case?
People never suspected things could take
place in their lives and pull them into something that should have forever stayed
on the pages of books and frames of movies.
She knew how women reacted to Xan, so she
shouldn’t really be that surprised, she told herself but it rang false and
wrong in her ears. Why would Chloé go after him over any other man she could
have had?
Catalina wanted to ask her that, but for
the first time in her life she was afraid her cool and collected demeanor would
crumble down like the mirage it was truly turning out to be and she would do
something appalling.
Like when she slapped Xan’s face for
example.
She breathed out harshly when her palm
burned in sensory memory. It was as unforgivable as it was heady, she decided,
no matter how shaming an admission it was. But was it as inexcusable as his
transgression? Cat didn’t think so.
Her hands still shook slightly when she
clenched them around the steering wheel, but she forced herself to drive as if
her heart wasn’t breaking.
When a solitary tear slipped out of her
iron control, she wiped it off angrily, telling herself she had a right to this
one but no more.
She stopped the car next to the beach,
deciding it was the best available solution for now, since she didn’t have the
keys to her house and didn’t really feel like tempting fate by driving more
than was absolutely necessary without the comforting presence of her documents.
Now
was all that mattered; she was going to
worry about
later
when that time came. It was yet another uncommon way
of thinking for her but apparently she did change, as everybody was trying to
tell her.
If there was ever the time she needed perspective
it was now, Cat decided, and the ocean had never refused her that.
She took off her shoes and walked on the sand,
rapidly cooling since the sun was gone.
Xan would be fighting now and as much as
she was mad and hurt, she wished he would win again. He needed his winnings
more than anybody she had ever met, as if he had to prove himself over and over
again with every next fight.
She was the one who ended up the loser each
and every single time, it seemed.
Thinking about it, about
him,
was
making her feel miserable and since she didn’t deal well with self-pity, her
mind wandered off to Chloé instead.
It wasn’t much more comforting, considering
all the years of their friendship, but Catalina’s memory shoved a specific
recollection at her and she breathed deeply trying to make sense of it.
Trying to look at what she had ignored
before.
There was a guy in their sophomore year at
Yale whom Catalina liked and it seemed he liked her back since he invited her
to one of the parties at his frat house.
Yet the day before, he canceled on her, and
she learned later on that Chloé was the one who accompanied him that night.
She said the very next day she would have
never agreed if she had known he had invited Cat first, and Catalina didn’t
make a big deal out of it.
Although there was no possibility her
friend truly didn’t realize that, since they had gone shopping just for that
occasion alone.
Then there was a photography professor who
kept setting Catalina as an example for the rest class, believing she was one
of his most promising students. He had devoted countless hours of his private
time just to help her grasp ins and outs of this art and she had found a
kindred spirit in him.
He was thrown from the university for
having
‘an inappropriate’
relationship with one of the students soon
after. And Catalina knew for a fact that Chloé was that student because her
friend had bragged about it.
The only man she didn’t seem to be
interested in was Gabriel… and some cynical part of Cat prompted that probably
it was due to the fact that Catalina had no romantic notions toward him
whatsoever. Perhaps she didn’t sense a challenge there; maybe he didn’t look
like fair game to Chloé.
But Xan did, she thought, and closed her
eyes, trying to look at it from another angle.
Seemingly unconnected incidents but once
set together, painting quite disquieting picture; creating a pattern that Cat
couldn’t ignore any longer and had no other option but to treat very
personally.
Understanding that the person she
considered her best friend for years must have been secretly hating her all
this time was mind-boggling. The most surprising turn of events in the day that
already had unexpected occurrences in abundance.
What was she supposed to do with this
unwelcome knowledge now? Catalina didn’t feel like facing Chloé and clearing
the situation once and for all.
Not now when she felt at such disadvantage
anyway, fearing to hear even more when her mind was currently having hard time
coming to terms with the data it already possessed.
She deeply and truly believed in something
called coincidence, but too many and similar ones were losing the allure of
being accidental, changing into intentional instead.
It was Chloé’s voice that interrupted her
musings, tearing her trail of thoughts asunder.
“Are you going to slap me too if I sit next to you?” There was too much aggression
in her tone to treat her question as an attempt at joke.
“How did you know where to find me?” Cat asked instead of answering.
It wasn’t the most important concern,
didn’t matter at all for that matter, but it managed to bring some normality
into this out-of-the-ordinary situation.
“I know you,” Chloé said simply, and Cat
wanted to scoff at that, but how one could deny the truth?
“Yes, you do; turns out I don’t know
you
at all though. How long have
you been hating me?”
No, there was no way around it, Catalina
decided; walking on eggshells wouldn’t change the outcome anyway because they
were broken and crushed already.
“I love you, Kitty-Cat.”
“But?” The nickname that used to make her smile caused her heart to ache.
“But… everything always comes easy to you because you are a Bennett. A person
gets tired of watching it happening.”
“So it gives you a kick to take things from me? Prove you could have had any
man that ever took any interest in me? Is that what this is all about? Help me
to understand it, Chloé.” Cat looked at her incredulously.
“Maybe,” Chloé shrugged and Catalina did want to slap her face at this moment,
so badly her palm itched as if preparing itself for the action.
It terrified her because she had never been
a believer in solving problems with brute force, and she wondered if it was
another thing locked within her that Xan had set free.
“Easy, really? All I have is because I’ve worked hard to achieve it, not
because someone gave it to me.”
“Be that as it may, you work because you
want to,
not because you
have
to
. You can’t imagine how it is when you have nothing and nobody,” Chloé’s
voice became sharp now.
“Oh I can’t, can I? I lost my parents as a child, remember? I witnessed their death,
so don’t you dare to talk to me about
easy
. The sole family member I
have left is not fond of me, which basically means I have
no one
. I
won’t apologize for being born into a rich family; it’s like apologizing for
having blue eyes. You think my photography is about taking pretty pictures and
there is not even a sliver of sacrifice to it? You know how many sleepless
nights I spent or the conditions which I endured just to attempt a perfect
snapshot. Do you think it is nothing but a bored girl’s whim pushing me to do
that? You have money now yourself, Chloé; tell me, does it make you feel any better?
Loved? You should have known better by now.” Catalina wanted to get up but
Chloé gripped her hand.
“At least you had parents who loved you; mine couldn’t care less about me,
focusing on my younger sister instead–until I became famous of course.” She
smirked.
“Do you think that justifies your actions?” Cat thought about Xan and how bad
he had it and how that made him only more determined not to end up like his
father.
Maybe something was escaping her notice but
the lack of attention didn’t sound as harsh to her as a constant threat to
life. She couldn’t imagine how engaging herself in petty games was supposed to
help Chloé increase her self-worth.
Cat knew that for every person who was
hell-bent on choosing differently than circumstances pushed them to, there was
another giving in and falling into the trap, copying the bad instead of rooting
it out.
“I don’t need to justify the way I feel,” Chloé informed her.
“I think you should when that involves and affects other people.”
“Spare me, Catalina, I don’t need to hear it.”
“No, you don’t and I think I’ve heard enough myself.” She shook off Chloé’s
hold.
“Just so you know… nothing happened between me and him, and not for my lack of
trying.”
“And I should believe you why exactly, since you’ve been lying to me for
years?” She asked politely.
“He is interested only in you and nobody else; happy now? There is something I
can’t take away from you after all.”
“I told you I am in love with him and a few hours later you tried to seduce
him. Oh yeah, I am ecstatic, Chloé; can’t you tell?” Catalina was utterly
disgusted, wondering how she could be so blind and failed to see how her
‘friend’
felt about her all along.
“Do you really think you can handle a man like him? And for how long? Laughable!”
“So you tried to save me disappointment by… disappointing me earlier? I can see
how that would make perfect sense!” Cat rolled her eyes. “Save it.”
“One day you will see it yourself and thank me for it, Kitty-Cat. You think you
can parade him around on social events? I am sure the elite is going to accept
him with Florence on top.” She taunted.
“Well, they accepted you after all,” Cat
snapped and became instantly ashamed of the cheap shot. ”I loved you like the
sister I had never had, Chloé, and you just made a mockery of all those years.
You don’t get to call me cute nicknames anymore. We are done.” She got up and
walked away without looking back at the woman who turned out to be not only a
stranger instead of a friend, but an adversary even.
Catalina wasn’t the kind of a person who
gave up on people easily but she couldn’t imagine coming back from something
like that.
Cat didn’t think she had ever felt as
lonely as at the moment.
Her feet automatically carried her toward
her house, because wasn’t home a place people ran to when things turn rough,
even if there was no one awaiting them there, no one to comfort them?
She looked at the contours of her residence,
swallowed by approaching darkness. She stopped dead in her tracks when she
remembered she still didn’t have keys. She didn’t even have her cell phone to
call someone and ask for help, which was a good thing perhaps, because how
could she explain the lack of essentials such as documents and keys in the
first place?
Whom would she have called anyway? Cat
asked herself.
Xan, she thought instantly, because he
wouldn’t have asked uncomfortable questions or demanded she explain the
situation and herself. But after the way the conversation went with Chloé, she
was dreading another confrontation in such short period of time, even if she had
felt like driving back there.
She didn’t, Catalina admitted inwardly.
She was still torn between what Chloé told
her and her own doubts plaguing her about the situation that took place in the
club.
What if this time Chloé hadn’t lied?
She knew she had to apologize for slapping
his face at the very least, but what was left to say after that? It felt like
too much and not nearly enough at the same time.
Nobody liked being wrong, and admitting to
it felt even worse at times, but it had to be done anyway. Yes, she was a
Bennett indeed, but to Cat it meant taking responsibility for her actions, not leading
a privileged life as Chloé accused her of.