CUL-DE-SAC (On The Edge Book 1) (34 page)

She looked down at her white knuckles
clenched convulsively around her Nikon. She forced herself to breathe deeply,
steadily, no matter how much she was shaking inside.

She tilted her head to the side, looking
through the lens, trying to decide on the perfect angle.

Then she reached with her hand, shoving the
cup off the table.

But her concentration was not on admiring
her work of destruction, but the firm push of her finger against the shutter
just before the sound of broken porcelain could split the silence.

A small smile quirked her full lips, and
butterflies in her stomach roused in excitement. She knew she managed to
capture this elusive moment.

The perfect fall without shattering.

Sometimes falling didn’t mean an
irreversible damage but a leap of faith and an attempt at freeing oneself from
the imprisonment.

CHAPTER 41

Xan looked at himself in the mirror and
snorted out loud, unable to stop himself.
“Fuck me,” he muttered.

Tuxedo, he was wearing a damn tuxedo. The
world as he knew it was surely heading toward the end.
“Tempting, but you are not my type, boy,” Kel smirked. “What is the big
occasion anyway?”
“Cat’s grandmother is being rewarded for her dedication to charity work or some
other crap like that.” He shrugged because it didn’t matter to him one way or another;
he was going only because of Catalina.
“Don’t be so flippant about it; you could take better care instead of limiting
yourself to imagining when you’ll get her out of whatever dashing dress she is
going to wear tonight.” Kel told him.

Xan’s lips twitched because it was true to
the letter, or close enough.

He couldn’t wait to see her, to be with her,
but no matter how much time they spent in each other’s company, it seemed not
nearly enough, and he could swear he heard the ticking of an invisible clock in
his head, counting down their time together.

Not that anything in Catalina’s behavior suggested
it, but the number Chloé did on her didn’t leave her unscathed. Hell, it
affected him as well and he was not even the one who had been friends with the
bitch, he thought.

Tonight they were going to find themselves
surrounded by people from her natural environment. From his point of view,
agreeing to this madness was reminiscent of a suicide mission on his part, yet
how could he deny her? He wondered if it would finally open Cat’s eyes and make
her see him for what he really was or if they were going to pretend the obvious
differences between them didn’t exist at all.

She knew from the beginning he was a thug and
a son of a bitch in general; he left her no space for the benefit of the doubt,
but Catalina didn’t seem fazed by any of it.

He kept expecting her to back down more times
he could count, yet she was still adamantly next to his side.

When was enough going to be truly enough?

He felt tempted to tell her the rest–tell
her all–just to speed up the inevitable, hoping she would never learn it at the
same time. These two sides kept warring within him constantly, driving him mad.

He couldn’t understand her and perhaps it
was one of the reasons he couldn’t put her out of his mind. Unearthing what
made her tick had become a compulsion, his obsession, or maybe both and he was
unwilling to let any of it go. Not before he knew all there was to her and
maybe not even then, he added inwardly.

The fact he had nearly forfeited his fight
for her should have been a startling wake-up call, instantly making him pull
the plug on the relationship before it got even more serious. But the fact was,
he really couldn’t force himself to give a fuck about the bloody sport, which
used to hold his whole focus. His days in the club were numbered and the end
wasn’t coming fast enough, if anyone asked him. Tony was not leaving him any
other option, constantly bringing forth the past while it should have forever
stayed buried.

Besides, looking at the bigger picture made
him realize he was a winner anyway, because he had Cat and a man couldn’t get
luckier than that, Xan decided and sighed. It was ridiculous, not to mention
embarrassing, how much he wanted her.

She was the first person since Robert
Thorpe who wielded any kind of power over him. It made him break out in cold
sweat because it reminded him of another sliver of his past when circumstances
forced him to be a ‘let-sleeping-dogs-lie’ kind of man. There was no
maliciousness in her whatsoever, but that was beyond the point.

Catalina had the means to knock him down
and he was past the point where he could tap out.
“Hey, Romeo, where is this big shindig taking place?” Kel wanted to know.
“Fairmont Miramar Hotel.”
“Hot damn, I should have pounded your ass to the mat and taken your place at
Catalina’s side.” Kel whistled, but catching Xan’s look in the mirror, he
raised his hands. “Kidding man, she is too young for me. Besides, she has one
horrible flaw.”
“Oh yeah? What’s that?” Xan turned and smiled at him but there was nothing
friendly about the grimace which made Kel bark out with laughter.
“She doesn’t see anyone but you. Lucky asshole,” Kel muttered.
“Speaking of assholes… any news on Tony from your friend?” Xan wanted to know,
referring to Kel’s friend on the force who promised to look closer and gather
as much information about Tony’s illegal business as possible and try to catch
him red-handed, pinning something on him.
“You will learn when I do; all I know Kyle is working on it, although he
suggested it would be a whole lot easier if you just went to the Santa Monica
Police Department.”
“Yeah, because Lieutenant Mercer is such a huge fan of mine,” Xan smirked.
“Well, he is a friend of Catalina…”
“Precisely. Wish me luck Kel.”
“Thought you didn’t believe in such thing.” Kel raised an eyebrow.
“Looks like I’ve started to believe in many things lately,” Xan said.

***

The Fairmont Miramar Hotel was nestled on
the picturesque bluffs overlooking Santa Monica Bay and it had been one of the
finest hotels since 1921. It used to be a favorite destination for Hollywood
celebrities in the past and something of its preeminence remained till today.

Located at the end of Wilshire Boulevard,
the Fairmont Miramar Hotel had two hotel towers with three hundred and two
rooms, as well as thirty-two luxurious garden bungalows spread out throughout
the hotel’s palatial grounds in addition, positioned among the palm trees and
tropical flowers.

The hotel was within walking distance of
the beach and other Santa Monica attractions, and just across the street was
the scenic Palisades part, with a panoramic view of the Santa Monica bay from
Malibu to the Palos Verde Peninsula.

Banquet and meeting rooms were included,
among plenty of amenities which were designed for events just like the one they
were heading toward tonight.

Xan gazed at Catalina once more, admiring
her lacy navy blue dress with a belt. The sleeveless bodice had lace illusion
accents around her shoulders and upper back. A strapless slip was paired with a
lace overlay and an embellished belt sat at her waist, while the mermaid style
skirt flared lightly at her legs. She matched it with a pair of lacy pumps with
a bow in the same shade as the dress was.

She was a stunning vision and he simply
couldn’t take his eyes off of her.
“You are taking my breath away, Catalina,” he told her and took her hand in his
as they entered the hotel.
“Why thank you. You are looking dapper yourself.” She smiled at him, still
surprised by the transformation of her warrior.

Nothing remained of the merciless fighter
tonight, and the man accompanying her looked like one of those sleek types who
were born in a tuxedo. Unless one looked into his eyes, she thought; the lethal
edge was present there as always, swirling in the green.
“So what exactly should I answer when someone asks me how we met?” He wanted to
know.
“Surprise me.” She winked at him and he chuckled.

He could feel how tense she was, how cold
her hand was nestled in his. The playful note was the last thing he expected
from her right now. But Cat never acted the way he imagined her to, Xan
remembered.

Catalina was relieved that the very first
person whose path crossed with theirs was Jonah Richmond. His dark eyes
brightened when he spotted her and it was the only indication he was pleased to
see her, because not even the smallest smile softened the line of his lips.
“You look very chic my dear.” He kissed her cheek and looked at Xan. “I don’t
think I know you.” Cat smiled lightly, thinking his up-front attitude reminded
her of Xan’s.
“Jonah, this is Alexander, Alex
–
Jonah.”
She introduced them, watching them exchange a handshake.
“Ah, the fighter. I can’t wait to see more of you in Catalina’s work.”
“Hmm.” A noncommittal sound was his only response.
“He is a work in progress,” she said tersely.
“I expect to see that progress and soon. We need to meet up and talk about this
project of yours. Have fun tonight.” He walked away without giving her any
chance to respond.

Typical Jonah, she thought, and massaged
her temples, sensing an impending headache. She didn’t know if it was due to the
stress the whole evening presented or because of the tight knot her hair was
bundled up into.
“Well, I don’t think we need to worry about the background story of our first
meeting for him,” Xan leaned in to whisper it into her ear.
“It’s not what you think. I have never said a word about the club to him; I
just came up with an idea of promoting your school. Jonah is smart; he connects
dots fast and pretty accurately. I trust him; you can too.”
“An idea, Kitten?” He looked down at her.
“I know you want to do it all by yourself and I respect that, but you need the
word to spread and this is all I am offering to help you with,” she explained.
“It’s going to be awhile until we actually get started.”
“Waiting to promote yourself until then is a mistake; you need people to know
and talk about it now. If you are lucky, you might even get a sponsor or two.”
“Cat…”
“I wanted to interest Jonah in a show we could transfer later and place on
walls of the gym if you would like. Pictures depicting you and Kel ‘in action’,
so to speak.” She glanced up at him alarmed by his silence. “It’s just an idea,
Xan; I wouldn’t do anything without talking to you first. I just wanted to see
Jonah’s reaction and he was interested, you saw it for yourself. It is not so
easy to get his attention or involvement. Don’t be mad…”
“I am not mad, I am touched.” And he was, just like when she took his side when
the police came knocking at his door.

Xan wasn’t used to having people in his
corner. She had already told him she wanted to be a part of it and he brushed
her off at that time by saying he didn’t need her money, that he was not a
charity case.

Yet she didn’t take offense like most
people would, offering him something he would have never come up with himself.
Offering him her art where he knew her heart was.

“You are rendering me speechless,” he
admitted, and raised her hand to his lips. “But I am not sure I can afford C.
Bennett’s work,” Xan half-joked.
“You are a smart guy, I am sure you can think of… something.” She smiled
sweetly at him and he couldn’t stop himself.

He bent his head to her ear and murmured
wicked words, providing her with an explicit description of a sexual nature.
She felt a hot flush covering her from head to toe.
“That sounds risky, if not illegal.” She looked back at him.
“Are you backing down, Kitten?” One arrogant eyebrow went up and she had a
sudden urge to bite down at his lower lip just to see the smirk disappearing
from his handsome face.
“No, count me intrigued.” She had the pleasure of witnessing a glimmer of
surprise entering his eyes.
“You are killing me,” he groaned. “Keep this up and you are going to make my
evening very… uncomfortable.”
“I’ll do my best.” She batted her eyelashes at him.
“You are this close to carrying the imprint of my hand on your sexy little
butt,” Xan informed her and her jaw nearly dropped open.

But no witty reply came this time and he
sent her a gloating look.
“Didn’t think you were ready for it.”
“Isn’t it our favorite couple?” Chloé’s voice was an unwelcome intruder in the
heated little byplay they had going.

Catalina flinched as if somebody had poured
a bucket of cold water over her but it was a good thing as well, reminding her
this was not the place to let her guard down at any time.
“Chloé.” Cat smiled coolly at her ex-best friend wondering if a time would come
when she wouldn’t feel this twinge of betrayal.

She gazed up straight into the cold blue
eyes of Gabriel Mercer who was accompanying the model tonight. She shouldn’t
really be surprised, Cat thought. This was exactly the kind of behavior Chloé
excelled in.
“Gabe.”
“Catalina, you look beautiful.” He smiled at her, if a bit sadly, completely
ignoring Xan’s presence.
“Thank you, I hope you will enjoy the evening. I heard there is a special show
planned.”
“Nothing like fireworks to diversify and spice things up,” Chloé sent her a
haughty look.
“Excuse us, I should find my grandmother.”
“Of course, I will congratulate her later myself.” Gabe nodded.
“Well, that was awkward,” she muttered when they walked out of eavesdropping range.
“Predictable, I would say.” Xan shrugged and she wondered if he was really so
indifferent underneath it all.

One glance into his eyes reassured her that
there were embers of anger smoldering below the surface.
“And here is the guest of honor,” Cat smiled at her grandmother, who looked as
stunning as ever. “Congratulations,” she said. “Grandmother, let me introduce you
to Alexander Thorpe.”
“It’s an honor, Mrs. Bennett.” Xan kissed Florence’s knuckles and Catalina was
impressed how charming he could be.
“Mr. Thorpe.” She nodded stiffly. “I see this time you tried for a less
dramatic effect, Catalina; the dress was a good choice.”
“Thank you, yours is spectacular.” Cat smiled brightly and Xan stifled the need
to shake his head.

He couldn’t believe these two women were
related. He had no idea how he could have ever considered Catalina cold,
because she was like a ray of sun compared to the ice sculpture that was her
grandmother.

Florence was cool and remote in a way that
barely resembled a human being. He thought he would have frozen to death if he
had been forced to live with the woman for any period of time, no matter how
short.

Nobody could consider her frigid words
directed at Catalina as a compliment, yet his Kitten had taken them as such.
She kept astounding him anew and all he wanted was to wrap her in his arms and
take her away from this place and these people who had no idea what kind of a
treasure she truly was.

He felt as if he was barely starting to
recognize it himself, catching a glimpse of her here and there when she was unaware
of it.

He was silent when the two women exchanged
a few meaningless sentences and he took Cat’s hand in his when their ways
finally parted.
“Tell you what, Kitten; after we are done here I will take you to a street race.
How is that?”
“I think the night just got a lot better.” She smiled at him with gratitude.
“When?”
“I don’t know yet; they can’t exactly plan it so the date and place goes
through at the last moment.”
“Please tell me this time I get to take my camera with me.”
“Only this time,” he said, and she brightened instantly, making him feel like
he just offered her the best gift she has been waiting her whole life for.

Xan realized that in this moment, he would
have given her absolutely anything if only it could keep this expression on her
face, allowing him to bask in her warmth a bit longer.