Authors: Piers Anthony
Tags: #Humor, #Fantasy, #Science Fiction, #Young Adult
“Where do we go from here?”
Clio looked at her compass. The blue
arrow pointed down along the beach. Then she noticed the red arrow: it was
almost touching the bright mark on the circle. It was time!
“We have to hurry,” Clio
said. “Our deadline is upon us.”
“Is it far? I could carry us.”
“I don't think so, because
otherwise the blue arrow wouldn't have landed us here.”
They ran along the beach. There was a
copse of trees ahead, with a glade beyond it.
I love you, Drusie.It was a male
thought. That was odd, because Clio knew no girl called Drusie.
And I love you, Drew.That was a female
thought.
“It's a couple in love,”
Becka gasped as they ran. “They must be telepathic.”
Telepathic! That explained it. They
were receiving the thoughts of the lovers.
They reached the copse. In a moment
they would see the lovers.
Haaa!It was a physical and mental roar.
It was followed almost immediately by a flash of terror. Then an instant of
awful pain, and blackness. Clio was revolted; something had just died horribly.
They emerged from the cover of the
trees and saw a small dragon chomping on something and licking its bloodstained
chops. It heard them and turned to face them. It snarled, about to attack.
Becka assumed her dragon form and
snarled back. The dragon, seeing that Becka was larger than it was, turned tail
and scooted into the forest on the far side of the glade.
Now there was silence, physical and
mental.
Becka resumed human form. “Where
to?”
Clio looked at the compass. The blue
arrow had faded out. The red one was now just beyond the mark. “We're
here,” she said. “But it seems, too late.”
“Too late for what? There's
nothing here.”
Clio got a dreadful notion. “That
dragon ate them. The ones we were suppose to meet.”
“The lovers? That's ghastly!”
“I've got to fix that.”
“How? You can't un-eat prey.”
“We'll see.” Clio exerted her
talent. She hated to do it, but it was really necessary.
She and Becka started moving backward.
They retreated to the trees. Meanwhile the small dragon charged back, tail
first. It turned and saw them, snarling, but Becka was already in dragon form
snarling back. Then Becka was in girl form again as they backed into the
forest, leaving the dragon chewing on its prey.
They continued on back through the
copse and along the beach. There were thoughts of mutual love. Was this far
enough? No, not yet. They reached the place where they had landed and stood
there talking.
“Isn't that the most handsome
dragon you ever saw?” Becka asked excitedly. “What fa-”
“Turn dragon. Carry me to that
glade,” Clio said, pointing. “Hurry!”
Surprised, Becka turned dragon. Clio
leaped on her back. Becka took off. In a few wing-strokes she lifted off the
ground and cleared the copse.
The dragon was lurking there, behind a
tree, just about to pounce on a pair of little lizards. “Drive it
off!” Clio cried.
Becka landed beyond the lizards and
growled at the other dragon. Intimidated, it fled.
Meanwhile Clio was jumping off Becka's
back and orienting on the lizards. “We're friends!” she cried,
realizing as she did so that this was stupid; how could lizards understand
human talk? Friends, the thought came. Telepathically, obviously. She
had understood their love thoughts;
they could understand her spoken
thoughts, because they were accompanied by her mind thoughts.
True,the male lizard thought. Then: But
we are not lizards; we are dragons.
“Dragons!” she echoed,
surprised. “But you're so small!”
We are small dragons, of course,he
thought, a nuance of annoyance tinting it. We wouldn't fit our type if we
were larger.
Dear, they are from elsewhere,the
female thought. They don't know about our world.
“We're from Xanth,” Clio
said. “We are here to recruit dragons of all types to immigrate to
Xanth.”
Both dragons laughed, mentally. And
you come to us? The male asked incredulously.
Instead of to a large leader dragon
?the female added.
“I was guided by a-a magic sign.
It brought me here, just in time to-” But she halted, not wanting to tell
them what had just unhappened.
But they got it from her mind. Great
balls of fire! The male thought. It's true!
Oops. “No need to go into that.
The point is-”
She saved our lives,the female thought.
By winding time back. We were crunched as we were kissing.
Both gazed at her. In that case, we
owe you, the male said. We had better go into relationship mode and
discuss this.
“I don't think I understand,”
Clio said.
You will in the next chapter,the male
said.
If you will just step across to it
now,the female agreed. We will be glad to explain.
“I don't-”
“I think we had better do as they
ask,” Becka said. “We do need their explanation, if we are to
accomplish anything here.”
“I suppose so,” Clio agreed,
halfway flustered.
Clio stepped into the next chapter. It
wasn't hard, as she had been writing chapters for a long time. As with the
traveling, it was different actually being in one, but she could handle
it.
“Wow,” Becka said.
Clio looked around. There were two
human-sized dragons bestriding a couch. One was blue-scaled and blue-eyed, with
translucent wings, the other pink of scale and eye with similar wings. Both
were well formed; the blue one was handsome, the pink one pretty.
“Thank you for that thought,”
the male said, and the pink one blushed red.
“You're welcome,” Clio said.
“I mean, what happened? I thought you were small.”
“We are,” the female said.
“But with telepathy we can project ourselves to be any size in your mind,
for relational convenience. This is similar to visual illusion, just as our
translation of our thoughts to sound like your words is similar to sonic
illusion. But we can return to the last chapter and be as we were, if you
prefer.”
“This is fine,” Clio said.
“Am I correct in assuming that if I tried to touch you, I would find you
small?”
“Correct. We don't have touch
illusion. Welcome to verify.”
“I don't want to be impolite, but
this is new to me, and I would like to verify.”
“Touch me,” the male said.
Clio reached out slowly. When her hand
touched his image, she felt a small weight on her palm. “I am Drew
Dragon,” the male said, and there he was, perched on her hand without
reaching beyond it though he was not coiled.
“I am Clio, Muse of History,”
she said.
Meanwhile Becka reached out to touch
the female. “I am Drusie Dragon,” the little pink creature said,
appearing small.
“I am Becka Dragongirl.”
Then the dragons jumped off the hands,
spreading their wings momentarily for balance, and reappeared as larger. So did
the couch, which was evidently part of the illusion.
“Now we have a situation,”
Drew said. “We see you do not understand it, as you do not read minds
yourselves, so perhaps we should explain it in fair detail, hoping not to bore
you.”
“We are not bored,” Clio
said, her amazement slowly fading to surprise. She had not been sure what she
expected, but surely nothing like this.
“This is Dragon World,” Drew
said. “Populated entirely by dragons and their prey. There are five
categories, each with five aspects. That makes a total of three thousand one
hundred and twenty-five distinct types of dragon.”
“How many?” Clio asked,
thinking she had misheard.
Drew smiled, which was an interesting
expression that could have been mistaken had the smile-thought not clarified
it. “This is tricky for little ones to understand, and for visitors. Start
with five major categories, such as environment, weapon, size, nature, and
mental nature. That's five. Continue with the aspects of each, such as
environment: land, water, air, tunneling, or jumping. That's twenty-five. Then
with size: giant, large, medium, small, and tiny. That makes a hundred and
twenty-five variants.”
“Tiny,” Becka said.
“That's yours.”
“Yes. We were consumed by a small
dragon, before being rescued by a very interesting process. Then there are the
aspects of Nature: friendly, trainable, indifferent, vicious, and committed.
That brings it to six hundred and twenty-five. Finally the mental category,
whose aspects are telepathic, precognitive, memory, rational, and invisible.
That makes three thousand one hundred and twenty-five types in all.”
Clio's head seemed to be spinning, but
she realized the dragon was making sense. “Five to the fifth power,”
she said. “It does add up rather quickly.”
“You're so smart,” Becka
said.
“On the contrary, we aren't
smart,” Drew said. “Our mental aspect is telepathy. But we learned
this in dragon school, on pain of getting our tails scorched when we made
errors, so we do know it.”
“Of course,” Clio agreed
faintly. “So you are-”
“Tiny, air, telepathic,
committed,” Drew said. “Then we differ. I am a fire dragon; Drusie is
a steamer.”
“But then what of the
categories?”
“Thereby is our situation,”
Drusie said. “Types are not supposed to mix. Indeed, all other types are
considered predator or prey. So the small dragon gobbled us during our
distraction, as was the natural order. We should have been natural enemies, or
at least not lovers. But Drew was just so sensible I couldn't help liking
him.”
“And Drusie was just so cute in
pink,” Drew said. “I was smitten by her color.”
“So it just happened, and we fell
in love. But we knew it had to be secret, because we would be ostracized if
others knew.”
“So we came separately to this
secret place,” Drew said. “And came together for the first
time.”
“And expressed our secret
love,” Drusie said. “And kissed.”
“And got gobbled,” Becka
said. “You didn't know the small dragon was lurking.”
“It was mentally invisible,”
Drew agreed. “So when it hid behind a tree, our minds did not tune in on
it.”
That clarified one confusing concept
for Clio: invisible did not mean physically but mentally, so it was a mental
trait. Now she appreciated its advantage.
“And you saved us,” Drusie
said. “Therefore we are committed to you.”
“I realize that is one of the
aspects of the category of Nature,” Clio said. “But I don't think I
quite understand it.”
“Some dragons are friendly,”
Drusie explained. “Of course this is relative. They still need to feed on
prey and defend themselves from others. Some can be trained to obey others
loyally. Some are indifferent; they don't care about anyone else and will never
change. Some are vicious, and will snap at you even if they aren't hungry. We
two are committed: if we decide on a course, we stay with it. In this case we
realize that we owe our lives to you, so we are committed to repay you in kind.
Only when that has been accomplished will we revert to neutrality.”
“So we will remain with you until
we have saved your lives,” Drew concluded.
“You really don't need to do
that,” Clio protested. “But I could certainly use your help while I
am here. I have no idea how to recruit dragons to go to Xanth.”
“We do,” Drusie said.
“But perhaps it would be better if you clarified exactly how and why you
saved us, as it could make a difference. It is in your mind, but tangled up in
complicated fashion so we really don't understand.”
“I hardly understand myself! But
the why is that there is a private mystery I wish to solve, and in order to do
that I need to do a Service for the Good Magician. That Service is to persuade
five pairs of every type of dragon on this planet to emigrate to Xanth. The how
relates to my magic talent, which is the windback. When I encounter a difficult
situation, I am able to reverse it so that it has not yet happened, and then
cause something else to happen. In this case I was looking for you-the Good
Magician gave me a magic compass that guided me here-and felt your love for
each other, followed immediately by your deaths. So I wound it back and came
here faster so that Becka could balk the dragon and save you. It wasn't from
humane motive so much as that I knew I needed your help. I doubt my talent will
be very useful in recruiting dragons, because I don't like to use it, and do so
only in an emergency.”
Both dragons nodded. “We
see,” Drusie said. “At least, enough to clarify your motive. You are
a very interesting person, and at some point we would like to learn more of
your personal history. But now we must focus on the immediate task.”
“Which is how to approach the
other dragons,” Drew said. “You'll have no problem persuading the two
of us to go to Xanth; there we would be allowed to keep company and mate
without being censored. It is the other thirty-one thousand and two hundred and
fifty dragons that are the challenge.”
“That is, five pairs of each
kind,” Drusie said.
“Yes,” Clio agreed, daunted.
“I had no idea the number would be so large. It is a challenge to persuade
even a few dragons, and this is considerably more than that.”
“We will have to go to the leaders
of each type,” Drew said. “When they are persuaded, they will allow
dragons to go. I suspect many will agree to do so, because it is the dream of
every creature here to become real by going to Xanth proper. The problem will
be getting the leaders to listen, as they tend to be arrogant beasts.”
“I suspected that,” Clio said
wryly.
“But we can help you locate them
and communicate,” Drusie said. “We shall have to do it separately, so
as not to attract attention to our association with each other, but that simply
means that one of us will go with each of you.”
“But how will we ever get them to
listen?” Clio asked. “Rather than try to snap us up as morsels?”
“Dragons love challenges,”
Drew said. “Mental as well as physical. Are you good at any mental
games?”
“Games?”
“Such as riddles or puns?”
“I detest puns.”
“Something else, then. Anything to
intrigue their sense of competition. Then you can establish stakes: they'll
have to listen to your pitch if they lose.”
“But suppose they win?”
“Then you will have to forfeit
something,” Drew said. “But it would be better not to lose.”
“Forfeit something,” Becka
repeated. “Like our lives?”
“Well, you do seem like two
delectable morsels.”
“Something else,” Clio said
firmly. But she couldn't think of anything.
“About those puns,” Becka
said. “You may not like them, but considering your line of work, how is
your memory for them?”
“I remember every single awful
one. That's why I hate them; I fear my brain will rot.”
“So you probably know more than
the dragons do. You could win a pun contest.”
“I suppose I could,” Clio
agreed reluctantly. “But it would be like bathing in garbage.”
“It wouldn't have to be for
long,” Becka argued. “Just to get the dragons. Then you could stay
away from them forever.”
“You can't stay away from puns.
They cluster like bad smells. The best you can do is try to ignore them.”
“Still-”
“All right! I'll do puns,
this once. But we still need stakes, for if we lose.”
“I have an idea,” Becka said.
“If we resembled tasty morsels, maybe we could show some flesh.”
“Whatever are you talking
about?”
“If the dragons would like to eat
us, maybe they would also like to see what they might get to eat. So if we
agreed to remove an item of apparel for each lost pun, that might be enough.
Just so long as we didn't lose completely.”
“I can prevent us from losing
completely,” Clio said. “But as I said, I much prefer not to use my
talent.”
“If you remember all the puns
you've encountered, you should be able to win,” Becka said. “So there
should be little risk.”
“But undressing in public, to be
ogled-I can't countenance that. What would the mothers of teenage dragons
think?”
Becka nodded; evidently she had
encountered some ogling in her young day. “Maybe it's a bad idea. We'll
think of another.”
But nothing else seemed to work,
because the flesh of their bodies was about the only thing that would interest
hungry dragons. So finally they came back to that despite Clio's considerable
misgivings.
Even then there was a problem. “If
some dragons are telepathic, won't they see my puns in my mind, and know the
answers?”
“There are protocols,” Drusie
said. “But maybe the simplest expedient is for us to monitor you in that
respect. If any try to peek into your minds, we will know it and warn them off.
One telepath can't sneak past another telepath.”
Next was the problem of addressing
different types of dragons. “We can't possibly talk separately to more
than three thousand groups,” Clio said. “Even if we did several a
day, it would take two years.”
“Maybe we could summon category
assemblies,” Drew said. “That happens when there is reason. Sometimes
there is something of interest to all fire breathers, for example.”
“Are there water-dwelling fire
breathers?” Becka asked.
“Certainly. All types are in all
environments. We have the finest assortment of variations known.”
“Dear, you are missing her
point,” Drusie said. “How can land and water dragons be assembled in
one place?”
Drew considered. “There are mixed
water and land sites. But yes, maybe it should be by environment, for
convenience. We could start with the land dragons, and see how it works.”
They agreed to start with the land
dragons. Drew shut down his mental image, becoming his real size, and flew off
to see about it. Drusie, also her real size, perched on Becka's human shoulder.
“I will be alert for other dragons,” she said, maintaining just that
aspect of mental presence; it sounded as though she was speaking to them both.
“It will take Drew a while to locate the top land dragon and set it up.
Meanwhile you can rest.”