Daddy's Boy (14 page)

“
Of sorts,” he grinned
lecherously. “Follow me, please.”

He led me around his police cruiser
until we were on the side farthest from the road. Once there, he
began unbuckling his belt and unzipping his pants.

“
I read your jacket. You’ve
been a very naughty little
boy
, haven’t you
Tyler
?” the officer asked with a
smirk.

I could feel how wide my eyes got as I
watched him, and I was about to turn and leave when his next words
stopped me.

“
I wouldn’t do that. I’d
have to handcuff you and book you for resisting arrest, and we both
know you don’t need or want that. Now, it’s not like you haven’t
done this before,
Tyler
. So how about you get on your knees and suck my cock, and I
won’t give you a ticket? It’s not like you don’t have experience
sucking cock.”

I gritted my teeth at his words and
felt nausea roll within me. I’d only left my house because I wanted
to visit Stella, not to be accosted by some fucking corrupt cop. I
sank to my knees in front of him, and he grunted as I did so,
already moaning before I’d even done anything.

He was on the thin side. Not as slim
as I was, but almost. With his blond hair, slim nose, dimpled chin,
and gray eyes, I’m sure plenty of women found him attractive; men
too, but perhaps they saw his ugly soul, and it kept them away from
him. Regardless, he was a monster. I may be a companion, but I was
no man’s whore.

At least, not until that very
moment.

Even as I sucked him into my mouth, I
turned my thoughts, not to Stella, because I would never taint the
pure image I had of her in my mind and heart with the filthy thing
happening right now, but to Dodger. His face, as he’d looked when
he’d sucked my cock, filled my mind until the officer was finished
with me and shoved me away from him. I fell back on my ass in the
dirt and when I turned my head to spit, I grunted at the feel of
his foot on my stomach.

“
Swallow it whore,” he
growled at me.

Trembling with fear and nausea at the
sound of his anger, I swallowed before turning to look back up at
him. He tossed my license and registration at me and turned to walk
around to get back into his cruiser.

“
Slow the fuck down or next
time it won’t be your mouth I’m shoving my cock into.”

I picked my items up from the dirt and
pushed up. I turned my head and coughed as he sped off, the fumes
and smoke from his exhaust pipe and the dirt and gravel spitting up
into my face. I stood there for a long moment, watching as cars
drove by, wondering how many people had observed the officer taking
advantage of me and hadn’t slowed down or stopped to help
me.

My disgust for the human race rose to
a whole other level, and the darkness pulsed again. This time I
didn’t try to stop it, I didn’t even attempt to hold it back. I
reveled in the darkness. I embraced it.

There was comfort and safety in the
darkness. In that inky blackness that contaminated my soul. I was
safe there. I was free from expecting goodness from people in the
darkness; in the blackness everyone was bad, everyone was evil,
everyone was corrupt. Everyone was out to hurt me.

The darkness was safe.

I climbed back in my car to resume my
trip to Glendale, my spontaneous trip to see Stella now tainted by
the pulsing darkness that threatened to consume me.

****

I pulled up in front of the house
where Stella lived and sighed. I was sorely tempted to turn around
and head back home, even though I desperately wanted to see her,
but before I could do just that, I heard the door open. The screen
door slammed, and a loud squeal pierced the silence of the
neighborhood.

“
Daddy!”

I pasted a smile on my face and turned
to look at Stella, my little girl, as she raced down the driveway
toward my car. Her sun-streaked, light brown hair flowed out behind
her head like a waterfall. Her little pink skirt whipped around her
thin, buttercream-colored legs as she ran toward me, a wide smile
on her face. My false smile quickly morphed into a real one, and I
yanked out my keys, quickly unbuckled my seatbelt, and climbed over
the door of my car. I bent down and held open my arms to welcome
her into my embrace.

“
Hey, Petal,” I said with a
sigh as I inhaled the scent so uniquely Stella. It wasn’t the smell
of baby powder as it had been when she’d been an infant; this was
the sweet smell of innocence, sunshine, and purity. I felt it wash
over me and push back the inky blackness that had begun to pull me
under the surface of my grief, despair, and
hopelessness.

“
I didn’t know you were
coming, Daddy,” she said, easing back to stare at me
accusingly.

I grinned. “I know. If you knew I was
coming then it wouldn’t have been a surprise!” I remarked, tapping
the end of her nose.

She gasped, and her hazel eyes lit up.
“I like surprises, Daddy!”

I nodded. “I know you do,
Petal.”

I stood up and took her hand, looking
up and noticing my friends, Amanda and Tim Merrill. I waved at them
and smiled, chuckling when they motioned me inside the little
yellow house.

“
C’mon Daddy,” my daughter
told me. “Mama Mandy made peach cobbler this morning!”

“
Did she?” I asked. “Well
that was really nice of her.”

Stella rolled her eyes as only a
seven-year-old could and shook her head. “Daddy! It’s Thursday!”
she said, exasperated as if that explained everything.

“
And is Thursday a special
day?” I asked, my eyebrows lowering.

“
I get my medicine on
Thursday so Thursdays are peach cobbler day!” Stella sounded really
excited, and I felt guilt grip me so hard I almost crumpled with
it. As it was, I bent forward and gasped for breath.

“
Daddy? Are you
okay?”

I couldn’t respond, so I merely nodded
my head, waving my hand at her to go inside. My lungs hurt as I
tried to breathe, my vision went gray, and every cell and muscle in
my body was trembling.

“
Go on inside, Stella. Your
daddy just got overexcited about seeing you, and he can’t catch his
breath.” I heard Amanda’s voice from over my head, and I wanted to
thank her, to agree with her and assure Stella I was okay, or that
I would
be
okay,
but all I could do was continue to try to breathe. I took in great
gulps of the fresh Glendale air and tried to calm my frayed
nerves.

“
Ohh! That happens to me
sometimes, too, Daddy, when I get really excited. Mama Mandy will
make you feel better. I’ll see you inside,” Stella told me. I
listened as her footsteps faded in the direction of the house and
waited until I heard the screen door slam shut behind her before I
crumpled to the ground.

I felt Amanda’s hand on my back,
rubbing and soothing me.

“
Hush, child. She’s fine,”
she said.

“
H-how did I forget she
gets her shots on Thursdays? I should have been here,” I gasped
out, my eyes burning with tears. “I should always be here. She
should be with me.” Tears rolled down my cheeks, and my shoulders
started to shake as sobs rolled through my frame. Harsh, broken
sobs that ripped my heart open, letting the blackness within spill
out to cover and contaminate my soul.

“
You ready to give up that
job to take her? You got your business taken cared of?” Amanda
asked in a no-nonsense tone. “Is taking her going to be safe
for
her
?”

I looked up at her and sniffled.
“D-don’t you think she should be with her m…father?”

Amanda shook her head as she crouched
down in front of me. “Of course I think she should be with you.
That child loves you something fierce, and you love her just as
fiercely. But don’t take her out of this house where she’s safe, to
somewhere where it ain’t safe for her, just because you’re feeling
guilty right now. You take her when the time is right. Nothing
would make me happier than to finally see that little girl with you
in a home where she belongs, but I won’t have you take her and then
read about you being killed by that fool and her being kidnapped.”
Amanda’s top lip pulled back as she let out a very impressive
sounding snarl. “He ain’t worth the breath God gave him. And if you
let him kill you and take that baby, I swear to God, Tyler Marie
Simpston, I will bring you back to life and kill you my damn
self.”

I winced. “Did you have to go and
middle name me?”

Amanda cackled. “I can always call you
by your birth name.”

My eyes widened, and I shook my head.
“Oh no. Dear God, no.”

Amanda let out a laugh and groaned as
she pushed up to her feet, holding out a hand to help me up. “Now,
let’s get inside so we can eat some of this peach cobbler before my
Tim and your Stella eat it all. Pair of pigs, those two. I swear.
If I didn’t threaten to put them both in time out, I wouldn’t ever
get any dessert.”

I laughed with Amanda as I followed
her up the stairs and into her home, determined to make the rest of
the day a good day for my little girl.

****

Stepping into Amanda’s home always
filled me with a feeling of peace. If I weren’t who I was, with my
responsibilities and reputation, I might have considered taking her
up on her countless offers to move in with her and her husband. To
raise Stella in their home. To go back to college. But I couldn’t.
I had obligations. I had debts.

I had KuJoe.

I shuddered mentally as I followed
Amanda into the kitchen, smiling as Stella’s high-pitched giggle
drifted toward me in the hallway. The purity of her spirit pressed
against the filth and the darkness in my soul, and for one moment,
one instant, I was able to breathe easily. Take one pure, cleansing
breath. It was glorious and addictive.

And it was a huge, fucking
lie. I couldn’t let myself get drawn into believing that I could
have the innocence that filled Stella’s entire being, that pulsed
through the beams of Amanda’s home. I was too corrupt. Too far
gone. I was a lost cause, but with Stella,
for
Stella, I would try to be
something better than what I was.

Eventually.

Just as soon as I paid off KuJoe and
could give her the life she deserved.

Amanda and I stepped into the kitchen,
and I let out a laugh at the sight of Stella, her face covered in
peach cobbler, scampering off the chair at the counter.

“
I wasn’t doing anything!”
she protested, holding up her hands, her digits covered in the
sticky remains of her guilt.

Amanda shook her head and clucked her
tongue. “Now chile, how many times have I told you about all that
sneaking food and lying about it? You gonna let Mr. Tim get you
into trouble?”

Stella smiled shyly and walked over to
Amanda, with her arms outstretched. I laughed as Amanda backed
away, slowly protesting the hug that Stella was trying to give her.
It wasn’t long before the two of them were running around the
kitchen, laughing, and for a moment, all of my worries were gone. I
joined them in their fun, chuckling heartily as I took a seat at
the table, watching as my little girl chased my friend, and shook
my head. Thoughts of Dodger, KuJoe, my career—distasteful as it
was—seeped from my being and light poked holes in the darkness that
was my constant companion.

Not long after their fun began, Stella
started to tire, and I grew concerned, my eyes seeking out
Amanda’s. She shook her head, silently cautioning me not to mention
anything even as she led Stella over to the sink to clean up. Once
they were done, Stella came toward me, and I had a lap full of
exhausted child. I cuddled Stella close to me, breathing in her
scent. I used a lot of different things to help me when I got
overly stressed. Candles, bubble baths, massages, aromatherapy, but
there was absolutely nothing like holding and smelling Stella. She
was usually a very energetic and happy child. Always laughing and
playing, running even when she wasn’t supposed to. On the surface,
Stella looked like a normal, healthy child. Maybe that was why when
she was born, I didn’t know she was sick. She looked so… normal. I
thought—for once—the darkness wouldn’t touch or contaminate someone
I loved. That I wasn’t cursed any more.

So when Stella began to have problems
and get sicker and sicker, at first I thought it was just because
she was a baby. The curse had been lifted. I didn’t even listen to
the doctors or respond to them when they began to ask or talk about
the mother and father’s genetic and health problems, and if the
mother was doing drugs and drinking during the pregnancy. Stella
was my miracle. She wasn’t going to die. She would be fine. The
darkness wouldn’t touch her.

She didn’t die. But the darkness still
touched her.

My baby girl was born with a
congenital heart defect—Ebstein’s anomaly is what the doctors
called it—along with a separate additional issue:
Wolff-Parkinson-White Syndrome. These diseases caused Stella to
undergo treatment and testing constantly and forced her to take
medication all the time, and eventually she would need a
transplant.