Dads: A gay couple's surrogacy journey in India (26 page)

We're back in Mumbai and I feel great!

Have you ever done the last of…whatever?

Had your last drink, your last meal, your last cigarette? It is an odd feeling, isn't it?

R&R at the Taj Mahal Palace today…

Our “last” day as DINKS, and we spent it at the pool...

Well, today, Alex and I enjoyed our last day as a DINK couple and a bunch of other “lasts” until the next one comes along, including one trending Dry Martini on Facebook…

Yesterday, a few hours after arriving in Mumbai, we met with our friends at
SurrogacyIndia
, which must be the most law abiding agency in the world, given the news they gave us about baby #2 (more about that later), and we were told that our first one, Sascha, if indeed he is a boy, will be born and delivered via C-section tomorrow morning at 8:00 am IST (which was changed to 8:30 IST just a couple of minutes ago!)

IST = Indian Standard Time is flexible at best, I'll have you know, and it is best to come equipped with plenty of patience when dealing with Mother India. Our meeting which was to take place at 3 pm didn't start (for real) until 5 pm… IST.

Anyway, bags are packed, everything's ready and we're off to the hospital at 6:30 for an 8 am arrival for check-in, documents check, etc. At 8:30, hopefully, boom, we are finally taking our son (?) into our arms.

We're packed. Oddly, Sascha gets TWO bags, a car seat,

& sterilizer… We get 1… *sigh*

Once Sascha's born, we “shift”, as the Indians say. I say “move” into our room at the hospital for two to three nights, but I'll give you those details once we have them. If everything is well with Sascha, he'll be placed in our room within an hour after his birth. Pictures and the works will follow, of course. Family first, friends second, blog third (wanna get the scoop, friend me on Facebook, LOL)

10 hours! Keep your fingers crossed, pray if you like, but think of our dear surrogate mother, our baby, and, maybe, just maybe, of us! 

Thanks!

Love & Light!

*tumbleweed*

Yesterday was a busy day.

We had to get up early to make our journey to Hiranandani Hospital here in Mumbai, where we arrived shortly after 7 am. We had to wait for a while until our case worker from the agency came to help us get registered and prepped for our son's birth.

Two very proud dads...

He was to be delivered by C-section in the emergency OT (operating theater). Don't ask me why, but it seems they had a pretty intense day here yesterday. By the time we got to the waiting area after all the paperwork had been completed, Sascha had already been born, at 8:51 am, weighing 3.31 kilos. Apparently, length is of little concern around here. We'll measure him as soon as he's with us, which he's not yet.

Complications with his breathing (some amniotic fluid left in his lungs) requires for him to be in the neonatal intensive care unit (NICU) here at the hospital. A downer for us, but if that's what it takes for him to be well, who are we to argue?

Things here work a bit differently than back home. At the NICU, only mothers get to see their kids at any time. Dads only get in for fifteen minutes in the afternoon. Since we're two dads, I'm in as the genetic father, and we hope to organize for Alex to get there by this afternoon. In the waiting area, we've met three other Scandinavian couples, all with early born twins, some as early as week 27, tiny creatures at some 800 g... No wonder one of the dads thought Sascha was “grotesque,” given how big he is by comparison, yet so tiny…

Our precious little baby boy...

Today, we hope he'll be taken off the breathing tube and the IV so they can start to feed him. We also need some pictures taken for his passport and DNA test to prove he's actually mine...

Then, hopefully tomorrow, he'll be released into our care so that we can get to finally know each other. It's going to be a great journey forward, despite the ocean of paperwork that awaits us...

Sascha Daniel Jacob Surya Hirschi was born on the 21 March 2013, to the day, 100 years after his great grandmother. They not only share the same birthday but also a common Indian heritage, directly through Sascha’s genetic mother, but also through the gypsy heritage of my grandmother.

Our doctors also told us yesterday that Sascha was the 250th baby born thanks to the work of their
agency
. We are very happy and proud for the amazing work they do!

It's funny, we spent the night in a hospital, Alex in a hospital bed, me on the couch, although we're perfectly healthy... Didn't get much sleep though, not because our son kept us awake, but because the neighbor's baby is very vocal. She's keeping us on our toes already... :-)

Love & Light

Wow, what a ride!

I know people with kids have been telling us to expect something amazing, but when you're actually there, experiencing it, what a thrill. I can honestly tell you that I lost it when I saw my son. I cried, and the photos taken during that moment speak a language all of their own.

Pappa Alex struggles to hold his son for the first time. I'm struggling to keep my composure failing miserably!

Royal welcome: the entire room is decorated and there are balloons everywhere, and gifts! People from all over the hotel came by to see Sascha...

Moments after that first encounter, Sascha was whisked away again by the doctors for tests, measurements, etc. We thought he'd be moved to our room within an hour, but since there was some residual amniotic fluid in his lungs due to the c-section, he was sent to the NICU (neonatal intensive care unit).

Seeing these tiny creatures, with their spindly arms and legs, their tiny head, hands and feet, is quite amazing. Many of them linger between life and death for days or weeks, depending on the circumstances of their birth.

We met three strong (you better be under the circumstances) Scandinavian couples, all parents to pre-term twins (w27 to 31), who visited their children twice every day, spending hours and hours feeding, touching, holding, loving, and hoping. When you see a mother (like Tina) fighting like a lioness for the best care for her son, you understand how quickly the bond between parent and child is formed.

We spent two evenings together having dinner and talking about each of our journeys to parenthood. The mother with no viable eggs, the mother whose womb cannot carry, and the gay couple with no womb at all (just like us) and how we eventually all ended up at the Hiranandani hospital in Mumbai.

Sascha is the 250th baby born to
SurrogacyIndia
, we were told, and there are many other agencies out there, so surrogacy is a god send to many families who dream of becoming parents, where traditional methods don't work (due to legal, moral or medical reasons.)

After two days in intensive care, Sascha finally joined us yesterday morning at 11 am, after I had to play “lioness” a bit myself, to get the DNA testing done ASAP (an important puzzle to our applications for passport, etc). That took over an hour. We also had to get Sascha's picture taken for passports, visas, and tests.