Dalton (Mistress & Master of Restraint) (19 page)

“Her actions aren’t yours. You can’t apologize for your family’s mistakes. They have to take responsibility for their own actions.” I say it to help him, but what I need to do is take my own advice. I will- I promise myself.

“I don’t think she did this
,
Whitt. Have you spoken to her since the incident with Katya?” I coax him into the direction Queen wanted me to take. I won’t ask this time, but soon.

“She was one of the most important people in my life. She betrayed my trust to my father and then this happened. I don’t want to see her,” he growls.
“Maybe you should ask her why she did it. It would be good closure for you. It would take some of your anger away…” I drop the conversation because he stares at me with malice. I don’t want to pressure him to do something he doesn’t want to do.

We sit in silence for a moment as he regains his composure. He smiles and I know all is forgiven.
“That’s all I have to tell. I’m just a misunderstood, rich, pretty boy.” He winks at me. “I’m boring and not at all interesting.” He smirks. “I believe it’s your turn to spill.”
I drag in a huge breath of air and prepare to lose the one person I’ve felt a genuine connection with. My distant past and the very recent past- as of an hour ago- will ruin this budding
friendship. I can’t lie anymore. I have to be honest with him and myself. Saying it out loud makes it reality. I
’ve
never wanted to
admit my reality. Now that I’
ve stood up and took charge of my life I want
to give
a
voice to
my reality and leave it behind. I want to be the person I was meant to be.
“I didn’t grow up in the best environment. I split my time between a BDSM club that fronted as a brothel and a casino that was a front for organized crime. I’ve never stepped foot into a school. My only schooling was in the art of seduction and dominance with my mom and how to be a crime boss with my dad. That dungeon downstairs is a fantasy. The people who come here think they are raw and edgy, but it’s just a game with clear-cut rules. My life was a nightmare with no safewords. This is why I can’t have children with Bianca.
This is why I think Generation Next is an amazing idea if done correctly. I don’t want to see those kids walk my path.”
He just stares at me speechless. Whitt is from a lineage of bluebloods with their expensive homes and schooling and their pretentious c
areers. I just admitted that I’
m from trash with money. I might as well end it now.
“I was tortured my entire childhood for being gay. My father’s goal in life was preserving his bloodline through any means. If you can think it, it’s been done to me and probably a lot of things you could never imagine in your nightmares. I have committed every sin except rape. Even that is a fine line. Sebastian would do anything for me. He
’s
touched me before, but it wasn’t by
my choice and I didn’t stop him, so
even that sin is up for debate.”

“My grandfather
,
Pierre
,
had us all do things we didn’t want to do. The final straw was my marriage. I signed a piece of paper and I was married to Bianca. I didn’t know until after. She did though. They made us consummate in front of an audience. My tormentor and rapist, Jon, he tried to rape Sebastian and I slit his throat. My grandfather shot my father and fled. I was left with two dead bodies and a criminal organization, and a wife.”
I give an unemotional account of my sins and the life I’m ashamed to have led. If I’d allowed emotions to come out while I listed my crimes, I’d have screamed it.

I look up from staring at my hands to Whitt’s face. It is filled with horror and disgust. I might as well finish the story.
I’ll make him wish he’d never have spent last night with me.
“That wasn’t the end of the story, Daniel. It was only the beginning. I
’d
sent Sebastian and Bianca out of state to a remote town. I
’d
locked them in a hotel room with four bodyguards. I sent my sister and mother in the opposite direction with more bodyguards. Sandy, I gu
ess you could call her my lover.
I gave her a briefcase of money for her services and had her driven to Maine. She
safely
lives there now
and is happy
. While everyone I cared about was fleeing, I had my people dispose of a body and clean my office. I called the Feds. We were under investigation so that was the simple part. I didn’t want my father to be disposed of. No matter what he did to me, he was still my father. I would bury him with respect.”
I get up and get an energy drink from the fridge.  I show the can to Whitt asking if he wants one. He shakes his head yes, but doesn’t speak. I pop the tab and drain the can
. My stomach expands from the carbonation and I’m not sure I can hold the liquid down.
I breathe through the nausea that I don’t remember having lived without.

“The Feds show up and I make a deal with them,” I tell him as I hand him his drink and retake my seat on the bed. “I had nothing to lose. I was crazed from my father’s death and it felt like everyone I ever loved betrayed me. I promised them information on all
of
my competition. I even offered my new father-in-law’s competition as long as they left our organizations alone and allowed me to bury my father in peace. They wanted to know what happened to Jonathan Matthews and Pierre Fontaine. I told them that they killed my father and left the country. They
knew it was a lie. I was giving them the biggest organized crime bust in history
, so they let it go
.
What are two more dead criminals in the grand scheme of things?
”
“Devlin captured Pierre when he came back to Kink and was packing to flee. He brought him to me as we were cleaning the office. We tied him to a chair in our walk-in cooler. Devlin and I took turns stabbing him. The wounds were shallow. We wanted him to suffer as he made my mom and
I
suffer our entire lives. I wanted him to bleed to death. The cold
temperature
slows the blood. It took a long time for him to die. We stood and watched.
I don’t regret killing Pierre and Jon. I did the world a service. My sin is that the consequence of killing Jon
was the death of my father. I’
m sick on a soul level because it didn’t feel wrong.”
“Now I have to look over my shoulder for turning in all my competition. I have several hits on me. I was taken into Witness Protection for
my safety. It’s a joke that I’
m an agent. They all got a kick out of it. I still head the Marconi’s and partner with Bianca on the Green’s. The Feds wanted us in place so that other smaller organizations didn’t flood the
areas bringing crime and drugs.
In
a way we
’re
the justice in the area.
But
I can’t live like this anymore. I’ll give
back
Bianca
’s
family their businesses that I own
and
I’ll give
Bruno
the Marconi organization
.
It’s the best compromise I can think of. Bruno was the son my father didn’t conceive. He deserves the job. I think my father would have liked my choice. He’s no longer here and I want to be my own man now. I don’t want to live in my mother or father’s images. I no longer want to act my way through life. I don’t want to punish myself when I feel dead insid
e. I’d rather die from a hit tha
n slowly take my own life out of self-punishment and stress.
”

Neither of us speaks. The minutes tick by and he’s so quiet that if I couldn’t see him out of the corner of my eye, I’d swear he left. I’m not even sure he’s breathing.
“So, are you sure you want to be friends with me?
” I smirk at him, but inside I’
m scared that he will leave me too. No one has ever thought I was good enough just the way I am. I always have to play someone else- be someone else. I can’
t do it anymore.
 

We sit on my bed and stare at one another for a very long time. The tension is killing me. I want to know what is playing out inside his mind.
The chime of his cell phone breaks us out of stasis.

Chapter
Seventeen

“It’s midnight,” he says as he wiggles his phone in the air.
“Are you going to turn into a pumpkin?” I smirk at him. He still looks in shock, but he
has relaxed some. I worry he’
ll use whatever the alarm meant as a way to leave without outwardly rejecting me. He is nothing if not a gentleman.
“
No, not a pumpkin.
I believe you were supposed to be naked at the stroke of midnight, unless you didn’t get my note.” His eyes seek my nightstand and brighten when he sees the note isn’t where he left it.

“You’d still want me to?” I ask in surprise.

“Oh, Dalton, nothing will take away my need to see you nude before me.
Listen to your own advice and move on. My God, it was awe inspiring listening to you talk to Bianca. I want to grow up to be you- to know what you want and to not care about the consequences. Right now is the first time I’ve done anything for myself. Generation
Next
was the first step in the process for me and Niel to take control of our lives. These people are teaching us to be dominant b
y taking our choices away. You’
r
e strong.
I can feel it. Yet, you let everyone tell you what to do. I was so proud when you stood up and left her sitting there. It’s mean to say that it made me ecstatic to see someone else unhappy. I hated her from the moment I saw her. I don’t know her, but she was one more person taking your choices away. I don’t want that for you. I se
e in you what I want for myself-
freedom- freedom to be who I am and be proud of
it
.”
“Now strip. I want to see you naked.” He looks at me with his Dom eyes- commanding.
“This is from the man who just told me not to let anyone tell me what to do,” I tease him.

“Well… we’
re
on a bed right now,
” he runs his fingers along the bedspread. His bright blue eyes glitter and his mouth quirks up into a grin showcasing those dimples. I want to tongue those devastating dimples. 

“We’re
not out in the
big, bad
world. Out there you can tell me what to do if you’d like. In here I will give you the courage to be yourself. O
bey me and take off your clothes
- ya know ya wanna do it,
”
he coaxes.
“I
thought it was a show me yours.
I’ll show you mine.” I draw myself up and kneel in the center of the bed. I
hook a finger under the bottom of my t-shirt and look at him from beneath my lashes.
“I see your training’
s paying off right now, mister. That isn’t very nice.” He licks his lips to moisten them and I take advantage of his lust. I pull the t-shirt over my head and fling it to the floor. Yeah, I still have a thermal on, but the look on his face says it doesn’t matter.
“It’s not very nice- it’s incredible. Standup and show me slowly. It’s ‘show me your
s
and I’ll show you mine’. You first, I want to enjoy you before you
get
distracted by mine.”
His voice is rough and slow. Whitt’s eyes glaze over as he looks at me and it gives me courage.

I walk on my knees until I get to the edge of the bed next to him. I put my hand on his shoulder as if I need leverage to stand. I don’t, I just want to touch him. I hop to the floor and lean into him.
“I hope you enjoy the show,” I whisper in his ear and smile when he shivers.
I stand in the middle of the room. The
apartment
isn’t very large. One wall is my kitchen with efficiency sized cupboards and appliances. The rest of the room is dominated by my bed, dining set, and nightstand. The only other spaces in the apartment are my closet and bathroom. 
I don’t have much room to put on a show. I stand a few feet from him where he s
its at the foot of the bed. He’
s within an arms-length away.
“
I’
m going to become
permanently
me and get a place that isn’t in this damned building. A space that’s sexy- this is too much like Thompson.”

“It looks pretty sexy to me,” Whitt practically growls as he shifts on the bed. “Anywhere you are is.”

I do the opposite of what most people would do when commanded to do a striptease. I’ve seen countless women strip and give us a show. I dec
ide on a different approach. After all, I’
m a man stripping for a man.