Damaged and the Bulldog (14 page)

Growing up, I’d never been into guns. The kids I lived
around were more interested in sports. Playing cops and robbers wasn’t on my
radar. I felt like a giddy kid as I followed the club guys and Harlow into the
dense woods.

Cooper was all smiles, but I sensed he was thinking
long term. The guys from Memphis weren’t coming for fun. They were visiting to
test the club. The burden was on Cooper to make himself the man they trusted
with the territory Kirk ruled for decades.

Cooper and I were the same age, yet I couldn’t imagine
living his life. Married with a kid on the way, living in suburbia, still in
school, and running the family business. Now dangerous men wanted him to prove
he was badass enough to run in their circles.

My dream was simple. I wanted a business successful
enough to support the family I planned to build with Winnie. She was my girl,
just like I hoped. Never would I ever feel about another woman the way I felt
about Winnie. She made my heart race with simply a look. Her pain was mine. Her
joy made me feel like a king. The sex was better than anything I’d ever
enjoyed. Winnie was learning to enjoy it too. Every kiss was a promise of
forever.

Even with simple dreams, I wanted to belong. Though
the guys made bets and were all smiles, I knew they were testing me. I planned
to pass too.

I had to focus on working as a team. No more grudges
against others or chips on my shoulder about my cold mommy and daddy.

Cooper put me on his team along with Judd and a few
guys I didn’t know. Soon, I viewed them as brothers. They had my back and I
watched theirs. I’d never felt anything like the camaraderie we shared out on
the increasing cold and wet day.

Tucker Johansson was notoriously stupid, but he wasn’t
goofing around that day. He and Vaughn were desperate to win, mostly to say
they beat Cooper and Judd. The paintball game stopped being fun quickly and
became about survival.

I didn’t picture the other team as my friends. I
imagined them as outsiders. The men from Memphis coming out in the spring for
the sole purpose of showing up Cooper. When I got cold or sore waiting for a
shot, I told myself those men felt none of the pains I did. They would be
ruthless, so I became ruthless.

The other club guys didn’t last as long as I did, but
I had Judd to thank for my survival. The enforcer moved so silently as if
floating over the dried leaves and twigs. He remained behind me, out of sight.
I only knew he was around when a guy from the other team made a move. Judd
always took his shot before the other guy pulled the trigger.

Judd was using me as bait. Rather than be annoyed or
offended, I played the role willingly.

Careful not to be too careful, I made just enough
noise to draw others to me. Even Tucker fell for the ruse. So focused on me in
front of him, he didn’t notice his brother slip up from behind. For big guys,
everyone moved quietly through the woods.

As the other guys returned to the house, they radioed
their statuses until there were only a few of us left. I knew Judd and Cooper
were focused on the same elusive target. Somewhere in the dense woods, Vaughn
waited.

For over a half hour, we moved slowly with me as bait
for Vaughn. Without warning, a shot from a thick bush took out Cooper. Our
leader cussed so loudly I suspected people at the house heard him.

Still hidden, Vaughn laughed in response. I moved
closer, hoping he gave away his location, so Judd could find him.

Cooper stomped away, scaring birds into the air and
awakening the quiet woods. I sensed movement everywhere. Yet I only noticed
Vaughn when the paintball struck me in the gut. Even though the shot hurt like
a motherfucker, Vaughn had exposed himself. The ghost-like Judd appeared behind
his friend.

“Asshole,” Vaughn said as Judd pulled the trigger.

“Did you really think you’d beat me?”

Vaughn grinned. “Sloppy, drama llama,” he said,
pointing behind Judd.

Crouched down in the bushes, Harlow stood and shot
Judd in the ass.

“I’ll be damned,” Judd muttered, grimacing from the
shot. “I forgot she was out here.”

“Figured as much,” Vaughn said while high-fiving
Harlow who grinned at me.

“I guess you didn’t come along as eye candy,” I said
and she lost her smile.

“Now someone needs to shoot me, so I know how it
feels,” she announced, putting her arms up. “A gut shot should work.”

Vaughn shook his head and started walking. “Nope.”

“I don’t shoot women,” Judd said.

“Liar,” she hissed and Judd shrugged.

As the two guys walked away, I focused on Harlow who
lifted her eyebrow.

“I did slug you that day.”

“Yes, you did,” I said, lifting my gun and shooting
her in the leg.

“I said the gut,” she grunted, limping after me.

“Gut shots hurt.”

“Don’t protect me.”

“I’m not, whiner. My concern is your sister. I don’t
want you telling Winnie I shot you in the stomach. The leg doesn’t sound as
bad.”

“Oh,” she muttered catching up with me as we followed
Vaughn and Judd through the woods.

“You kicked ass,” I said, rubbing my tender stomach.
“Maybe you should join the club.”

“They don’t have chick members. Even if they did,
would I really want to be surrounded by guys thinking I was less than them?”

“No, I guess not.”

“Are you going to join?”

“Not up to me.”

“If it was, would you?”

I shrugged. “I don’t know why the club would want me.”

“You’re tough and loyal. Not every guy in the club
does work like those two dumbasses.”

Focusing on the men in front of me, I saw them shoving
each other while walking steadily through an open patch of woods. I was ready
to turn to Harlow when Vaughn and Judd started shooting each other. After
cussing a little, they returned to walking.

“Enforcers are stupid,” she whispered. “Being idiots
is part of the job.

“I think it’s just them together. When I see one
without the other, the IQ level is much higher.”

Harlow smiled, but I caught her rubbing her leg.

“The gut shot really hurt,” I whined to make her feel
better. “I nearly puked.”

“Wuss,” she laughed. “Does Winnie know you’re a crybaby
bitch?”

I laughed. “She loves me the way I am. Crybaby bitch
and all.”

Harlow nodded. “She’ll probably be happy you didn’t
get shot in the crotch. You’ve turned her into a sex-crazed slutbag.”

“You sound jealous,” I said, bumping her. “Ahh, don’t
worry. One day, a guy will fuck you slutty too.”

“Nope.”

“Into girls?”

“Nope. I’m staying solo.”

“Good. That way you’ll be available to babysit for me
and Winnie.”

Rolling her eyes, Harlow smiled. “You really think you
and Winnie are leading to a baby carriage?”

“If Winnie wants free of me, she’ll have to pry me off
her,” I said then added, “A restraining order might be necessary too.”

“Might? Wuss. A real man knows he’ll stalk his woman
if she runs for freedom.”

“How would you know?”

“I’m very knowledgeable from watching a lot of
Friends
reruns.”

“I don’t remember a lot of stalking on Friends.”

“You must have missed that episode,” she said, nudging
me with the gun. “Don’t make me shoot you to distract from this awkward
conversation.”

“What awkward conversation?” I teased as we reached
the opening to the field behind the Johanssons’ house.

“Sorry I punched you that day.”

“It’s okay. Winnie deserves to have people who’ll kick
ass for her.”

Harlow smiled and I saw the sweet kid underneath her
grumpy exterior. Her smile grew when she noticed Winnie up on the deck with her
parents and brother.

“We’re a good family, Dylan. I hear you need one. I
mean, Lark’s great, but Raven is a pain in the ass.”

“I’m right here!” Raven yelled.

“I know, but I’m packing paint heat.”

Raven rolled her eyes while climbing Vaughn. “Did you
win, baby?” she asked him. “Is that why you’re covered in paint?”

“Yeah, I won. No one beats, Big V.”

Vaughn and Raven looked ready to make a baby in front
of everyone. Harlow shook her head and walked faster. I watched her disappear
into a group of people as she headed towards her family.

“Wait up,” Cooper said before I could follow Harlow.

“Sorry you got shot in the ass,” I said and Cooper
glared at Vaughn.

“I hope he’s that clever in the spring.”

Up on the deck, Winnie waited for me. As much as I
wanted to join her, I knew Cooper wasn’t done chatting yet.

“Last year, we had a mole in our club. Selling us out
to our enemies. He was a tough guy. He worked with my pop for years and had the
balls to stand up for people. He had no loyalty and that’s what did him in.”

I said nothing because Cooper wasn’t having a
conversation. He was telling me what was what.

“You have balls, Dylan. You watch out for those people
that matter to you. Balls are great, but your loyalty means more. You don’t
talk shit about the crew. You don’t share secrets. I asked around. Your guys on
the worksite. Your neighbors. People you might blab to, but you haven’t said
shit. You keep your mouth shut because you understand loyalty isn’t only about
throwing or taking a punch.”

Sensing he was getting to his point, I just nodded.

“You think about if you want to be more than part of
the crew. I have a circle of people I trust. Not my pop’s guys, but my guys. I
want you to be part of that circle. You think about if that interests you.”

Cooper walked away and didn’t look back. He joined
Farah and Jodi then headed up to the deck where Kirk and Nick grilled steaks
and burgers.

Around me, the club and their families enjoyed the
rainy day. I walked slowly up to where my family waited. Winnie hugged me then
made a big deal out of my stomach injury as an excuse to pull up my shirt.
Harlow rolled her eyes while Jace looked like he wanted to puke at the
affection. Toni laughed at her kids’ behavior. Tad kept an eye on me and I
sensed he knew what Cooper wanted with me. I also got the impression he
approved.

The pain from my past hid away for weeks at a time. I
wouldn’t think about the Vandals or my old family. I’d forget I ever lived a
life any different than the happy one I now enjoyed.

Out of nowhere, the pain rose up inside me. A sense of
dread hung over my every thought even if I was having a good day.

I was thrilled Dylan lasted so long in the game. He
also worked so well with Judd and Cooper. The club needed loyal guys and I
wanted Dylan to find a place where he belonged.

After the game, the club and their families enjoyed a
barbecue even in the wet weather. I stood with my parents and a smiling Harlow
on one side, my brother and Dylan on the other. I felt happy until suddenly I
just didn’t anymore.

The deck was full of people, mostly large men.
Everywhere I turned, I faced hard, rough men like those in the Vandals. I knew
these guys weren’t the enemy, but logic couldn’t control the tension I felt.

By the time Dylan brought me to his place, I wanted a
shower and to be left alone. First, I washed away the cold wet weather from my
skin. Finally, I scrubbed away the feeling of being used.

After I was done, Dylan jumped in the shower. I sat on
the couch in a robe. Despite hating being naked underneath, I also knew clothes
irritated my tender skin.

“Want a drink?” Dylan asked, appearing in boxers and a
tee.

I shook my head, so he only brought himself a soda to
the couch. Staring at the TV, I didn’t care what was on. I wanted to go home
and hide in my room. Except I also wanted to stay with Dylan who leaned over
and kissed my neck.

“I’m not in the mood,” I mumbled.

“Are you sure?” he asked, grazing my nipple with his
thumb.

“Yes.”

Dylan leaned over and slid his hand into my robe. “I
don’t believe you.”

Resting my head against the back of the couch, I
struggled between depression and desire.

“All those guys today reminded me of something bad,” I
confessed. “I know the Reapers are the ones who saved me and gave me a second
chance. I still can’t shake the feeling that I’m in danger.”

Dylan sighed, his hot breath against the bare skin on
my chest.

“They’re not here. It’s just you and me,” he
whispered, opening my robe. “No one is going to hurt you. I won’t let them.”

Studying his face, I wasn’t sure he had the killer
instinct necessary to truly hurt someone willing to hurt us. Yet when Dylan met
my gaze, I saw in his dark eyes that he could kill to keep what was his.

“You play businessman,” I whispered as he kissed my
stomach. “You play the nice guy, but you have a fire inside you.”

Dylan spread my legs and knelt between them. “I’ve
always been pissed. I never knew what to do with the anger. I still don’t, I
guess. You quiet it though. You made it sleep even when I was sitting in my car
outside your house. Knowing you exist soothes the anger, but it’s never really
gone.”

Dylan spread the lips of my pussy and blew softly on
the growing heat. Shivering, I whimpered at the feel of his breath.

“Your pussy looks a little swollen. Did I fuck you too
hard this morning?” he murmured, sliding his fingers over my tender skin.
“Should I kiss your pussy and make it better?”

Staring into his eyes, I nodded. “I love you.”

“Let me show you how much I love you.”

Dylan sucked softly at the sensitive flesh followed by
a lick. Slowly, again and again, his mouth explored until I was a whimpering
mess.

“Does that feel good?” he asked as his finger caressed
my clit until I was on the edge of an orgasm.

His lips on my clit pushed me over the edge and I felt
lost in a way nearly too powerful to endure. Vulnerable and exposed, I held
onto one of Dylan’s hands as the waves of pleasure tore through me.

“You taste so sweet,” he said, kissing me.

“Dylan,” was the only word I knew in that moment.

“Tell me you want me.”

“I want you.”

“Tell me you want me inside you,” Dylan murmured,
standing up and kicking off his boxers followed by his tee. “Tell me you need
me to fuck you. Can you say that, Winnie?”

Taking in all the flesh before me, I wondered if I was
drooling. I’d never felt so relaxed. I watched him remove a condom from the
drawer.

“We’re almost out of them,” he said, handing it to me.
“I want you to open it. Show me you want me to fuck you. Make me believe.”

Sliding my arms out of the robe, I reached for the
condom. “I want you inside me. I need to see only you.”

“Say the words.”

Caressing his rock hard cock, I held his gaze. “Fuck
me, Dylan.”

“How do I know you’re not just saying that to make me
happy?”

I frowned. “Don’t tease me,” I said, handing him the
condom. “I need you inside me.”

Dylan studied me as if waiting for something. I licked
my fingers and rubbed them gently against my hard nipples. Closing my eyes, I
imagined Dylan was licking them. By the time I felt Dylan kneeling between my
legs, I was smiling at the fantasy in my head.

“Okay, now I feel neglected,” he said, stroking me
with his cock.

I opened my eyes and grinned. “Hi,” I murmured. “Will
you please fuck me now? No more teasing.”

“I’ve always been a sucker for a girl who says
please.”

Caressing the scar on his chest, I sighed as he
entered me. I held onto his forearms while he fucked me hard and steady. When I
came for him, I realized the reality was so much better than my fantasies.