Dangerous Beauty: Part Four: Beautifully Broken (11 page)

Reanna nodded.

Carter had tried her best to talk up Kyle and get Reanna to consider talking to him romantically. It had been really adorable at the time. She’d been so passionate about finding Kyle the perfect woman, and Reanna had been flattered that Carter had thought she was that woman, but Reanna hadn’t even wanted to attempt a romantic relationship with him. He was too … intense for her, a bit too much of a commodity. She became even more uninterested when Carter had explained Kyle’s crippling commitment issues.

“She said he had a lot to offer, but he just didn’t know it yet,” Reanna said softly.

She remembered thinking ‘hell no’ after Carter had said that. It would have been too much of a hassle to spend her precious time trying to fix some man that didn’t even know what he wanted. Plus, Carter had told her the story of how they’d met and Reanna had not, under any circumstances, wanted to get involved with a man that was in love with his cousin.

But then she’d met him ... and everything changed.

She’d watched him, gotten to know him, and slowly, over time, had come to see that everything Carter had said about him was true. Then he let her in. Became her friend. Shared secrets with her that’d he’d never shared with another person. Kyle was a strong man; mean, brutally honest, and sometimes silly, but he was also intelligent, wise, vulnerable, and broken … just like she was. And when he’d revealed that person to her, it’d been the moment she fell madly, deeply,
hopelessly
in ... strong
like
with him.

She wasn’t ready to say love yet. Secretly, she’d always wanted him to say it first, admit it first, even though it was looking as if it’d never happen. Maybe he was happy with Aniyah?

“Rea,” Tamara said, capturing her attention, “I think Kyle loves you, but he doesn’t really know how to go about expressing it. He’s been burned, babe. Hell, I knew his baby’s mama.”

Reanna’s eyes widened in shock. “You did!” she yelled. “Why didn’t you ever say anything?”

She shrugged. “No reason to. I didn’t know her for that long. She was one of my models for the new plus size line I came out with last year.” She pursed her lips. “I had to fire her ass before you even came to do the photo shoot.”

“What did she do?” Ronaldo asked.

“She tried to steal one of my dresses after a fitting.”

Reanna’s mouth dropped open. “That bitch!”

Tamara nodded. “I went off. Snatched at least three of her tracks out before they got her out of my store.”

Reanna laughed, shaking her head at her sister’s temper. “Why are you fighting in your store, Tamara? It’s unprofessional.”

She snapped back as if offended. “It’s
my store
,” she argued, pointing to herself. “I’m the talent. Either my clients deal with that, or they don’t get the dress.”

“All right, honey,” Ronaldo laughed, standing from his seat and reaching over to give Tamara a high five. “I try to tell Rea all the time, ‘baby, being the best affords you more than a few liberties’.”

“Right? And I will gladly take the liberty to beat a bitch’s ass if she tries to take my shit.”

Ronaldo nearly fell out of his seat laughing, while Reanna covered her face in an attempt to hide her own laughter. Her sister was so silly.

“I’m serious,” Tamara chuckled at herself. “I’m not about to let nobody disrespect me. I’ve work too hard to get to where I am.”

Smiling, Reanna nodded. “I agree.”

Much like herself, her stunning younger sister owned her own business. Her line of casual, couture, formal dresses, and wedding dresses had been featured in top fashion magazines and on runways across the world. Her client list included everyone from New York’s wealthiest individuals, to high profile celebrities, and royalty from numerous foreign countries. Reanna was proud. Proud that her little sister had embraced living the normal life that Reanna had fought for them to have—despite the many obstacles they’d faced on their path to success—and proud that she did it all on her own … with the help of a few financial investments and connection hook-ups from Reanna herself in the beginning stages of the business, of course. Nevertheless, it had been both Reanna’s pleasure, and honor to support her sister’s dream.

“But getting back on subject,” Tamara said. “I think your guy just might be afraid of a real relationship … of fucking it up.”

Reanna gave her a deadpan look, and shook her head. “Uhh, no.” She seriously doubted that. To say that Kyle was afraid of ruining a relationship with her, was basically saying that he was intimidated. “Kyle is the most straight-forward man I know. If he was really into me, he’d let me know.”

“He does let you know, Reanna. The man has issues with commitment, with trust. I’m sure he’s unaware of just how much he’s showing, but trust me, he’s showing his interest every time you two are together.” She placed her hand to her heart. “You need to trust me on this, Rea. I know you’re used to being the one with all the answers, the one who knows everything, the wiser sister.”

Reanna rolled her eyes. “I don’t know everything, Tamara.”

“But you know a lot, and I’m okay with that. However, I know men better than you do, big sister.” Scooting over until she sat directly beside Reanna, Tamara reached out and took her hand. “Reanna, my gorgeous sister, you have been my rock, my … well my everything for my whole life …”

Reanna smiled warmly.

“… And for my whole life I’ve been waiting for the moment where you will finally let me do something for you.” With a long sigh, Tamara grinned. “That time is now, honey. If there’s anything on this earth that I know, that you don’t, it’s men. I’ve had tons of boyfriends.”

“Enough to fill up several buses,” Ronaldo muttered, looking away from them.

Reanna laughed when Tamara shot him a glare over her shoulder. “I’m serious,” she snapped, then turned back to Reanna, her expression once again soft. “I know men, and I know when a man is interested. Kyle is interested in you, Rea. He wants you.”

Reanna’s cheeks warmed. “Okay, Mara. Enough now,” she whispered, suddenly feeling a bit embarrassed.

“I’m telling the truth, Rea. He wants you.”

Reanna shook her head in response. Like she’d said before, she did think Kyle was interested in her, attracted to her, but under no circumstance would she allow her sister to convince her that Kyle Valente was in love with her. She would just be asking for heartbreak by doing that. Not a smart idea.

Releasing her sister’s hand, Reanna sat back on the couch. “I don’t think it’s a good idea for me to be thinking Kyle’s secretly in love with me,” she said. “It seems a bit childish, don’t you think?”

Tamara sighed tiredly. “He’s not secretly in love with you, Rea. I said he loves you, but he’s just …” She struggled to find words. “He lacks confidence in himself. I understand because I’m the same way.”

“No you’re not, Tamara,” Reanna argued.

“Why do you think I play so many games, then?”

“You are not like Kyle,” Reanna repeated. “Nobody is.” Kyle was in a league of his own. The man was too much work, and Reanna was beginning to get tired. “If Kyle wants me, then why be afraid to make a move? Why is he still with Aniyah? And why the hell would he ask me to babysit her while he goes out every weekend to
screw her?
”

Tamara whined at Reanna’s words. “I never said he wasn’t an idiot, Rea.” She shrugged. “I just think … he doesn’t want to lose you.”

“Lose me how?” Reanna yelled, now becoming frustrated with the conversation. “Because going out every weekend to screw Aniyah, then coming home and flirting, and falling asleep cuddled up with me is a sure way to lose me!”

Ugh!!
She wasn’t good at this, reading signs,
reading men
. She was not a
game player
. She was honest when it came to matters of her heart. She wore her heart on her sleeve; been told it over and over throughout her life, and she preferred that people be straight forward with her, too. She had little patience for anything else. Even with Kyle.

“I’m seriously so close to just doing what Ronaldo said, and cutting this off. Seriously, I could do without my feelings for Kyle.”

Especially right now! Right about now she wanted to keep being Sofia’s favorite forever, and end … whatever kind of relationship she had with Kyle. It was causing her too much stress, and Reanna freaking hated stress! She didn’t tolerate it.

“I’m so frustrated because I don’t understand him, Mara. I need to do something different … I need to go on a date or something. Ronaldo was right—”

“I was?”

“I need to take my life off hold, and get a personal life of my own. Maybe I’m ready for another relationship, you think?” She looked to both her best friend and sister. “I haven’t been in a long-term relationship with anybody since the surgeon …” Four years ago and the best relationship she’d ever had. He’d been a surgeon, and he’d been hot. “And it was him that showed me what it was like to be in a real relationship after …”

Her features tightened at the thought of the man she’d dated before her beloved surgeon. It was like a freaking circuit board on the inside of her head, every time she thought of him she wanted to flip the switches and shut everything down for the day. It’d been seven years, but the scars he left were still fresh.

“Uh, uh,” Tamara chided, reaching forward quickly to cup Reanna’s face. “Don’t you dare fucking shut down on me, Rea.”

Reanna opened her mouth to speak, but shook her head instead. She wasn’t … she wasn’t shutting down, she just needed a minute. Saying his name wasn’t always easy. Some days were better than others though.

“Reanna, stop it!” Tamara said sharply.

And Reanna wished she could, but it just wasn’t possible. Tamara was better at this, moving forward. She was stronger than Reanna in that sense; nothing affected her. But, sadly, Reanna was still affected … and rightfully so.

“Reanna, I swear to God if you don’t say that motherfucker’s name, I’m calling Dr. Tomlin.”

Tamara’s threat got her. “Bryon,” she whispered, immediately moving forward with the conversation. “Bryon.”

Brain function fully restored. The rules were simple; face the horrific name, until you can face the horrific event. Reanna had no interest in her psychiatrist finding out that she still struggled to face Bryon’s name after all of the progress she’d made in her life over the past seven years. Bryon Rayford Desmond was the worst mistake of her life. One day, hopefully soon, Reanna would be able to face the memory of what he’d done to her and Tamara without having a psychotic break. But until then, she’d just focus on the now … Now she was in …
like
, with a new man, a fine man that was confusing the hell out of her so she needed to move on!

“It’s been years …” Seven years since Bryon, four years since the surgeon, and also four years since she’d last had sex. “I need to get back out there and stop entertaining unrealistic dreams of being with a man that so obviously doesn’t want to be with me enough to leave his current girlfriend.”

Luckily for Reanna, her sister chose not to address her momentary break down, and continued on with the conversation as if it hadn’t even happened. “I agree,” Tamara said with a nod. “And I’m sure Ron does, too.”

Ronaldo nodded in agreement.

“But …” Tamara bit her lip, seemingly hesitant to say whatever it was that she wanted to say next. As usual, though, she got over the hesitation quickly. “Would it not be hard to just move on to a different man when you’re in love with Kyle?”

Reanna scowled. “Dammit, Tamara!” Why wouldn’t the woman just give it up?

“Don’t get mad, Reanna,” Tamara said, reaching out to take her hand once again. “I’m not trying to upset you. I don’t want you to … run away from this, Rea. You have a tendency to run away from promising relationships because of your,
completely understandable
, trust issues. I just don’t want you to miss out on something good. I’ve seen you pass up so many good guys, and I don’t want you to pass this up because I think it might be, you know,” she shrugged, “the real thing.”

When she saw the look on her sister’s face, she immediately calmed down, feeling bad for letting her emotions get involved when her little sister was just trying to help. “I’m sorry,” she apologized with a soft sigh, giving Tamara’s hand a light squeeze. Though Reanna had little interest in playing any of Tamara’s games with Kyle, she would play along with her sister for now, only to appease her of course. She didn’t think a relationship with Kyle was promising—it would never be, not with Aniyah still in his life as well as hers; it would only be drama—but she knew her sister meant well in wanting to help her. “I want your help,” she said softly. “I don’t know what to do.”

Tamara’s eyes lit up brightly as she bounced up and down in her seat. “Really? You want my help?”

The hopeful look in her big brown eyes made Reanna’s smile return. With a nod of her head, Reanna prepared herself to hear, what she expected to be, a very interesting plan of action.

“All right!” she squealed clapping her hands together. “Step number one …”

Her advice had been to cut him off.

Cut him off
.

Stop flirting, limit the touching; stop cooking for him, being his friend, his emotional support, his cuddle-buddy when sleep didn’t come easy for him.