Dangerous Beauty: Part Four: Beautifully Broken (73 page)

She belonged with them. She belonged to them.

And everything that she’d ever gone through or experienced in her past, that made her who she was today. She’d suffer through it all a million times more if it always brought her right back here. To this moment. Then it was all worth it.

“You’re crying.”

Sofia and her father’s playtime had ended, and now, Reanna’s angel was facing her, her little fingers tracing the path of Reanna’s tears down her face.

“Am I?” Reanna whispered, smiling when Sofia pushed the strands of hair from Reanna’s face and tucked them behind her ear.

Then she nodded, murmuring “yes,” in response to Reanna’s question. “Are they happy tears, again?” she asked, a sweet smile entering her gorgeous eyes.

“Yes,” Reanna answered, nodding her head in response.

“Because you’re happy?” Sofia’s brows rose in question.

And Reanna nodded again, this time laughing softly as she did. “Yes.”

Sofia nodded, lowering her eyes as she let her hand fall to her bed. “Reanna,” she whispered, suddenly timid, her eyes lifting back up slowly.

Reanna brought her hand up to gently cup Sofia's soft cheek. “Yes, baby?” she answered.

Shyly, Sofia smiled. “Are you my mommy now?” she asked.

And as if Reanna’s tears weren’t already falling plenty enough, so many more made a pathway down her cheeks when Sofia asked her the question she’d been waiting all night for her to ask.

Heart pounding heavily in her chest, Reanna took in a deep breath, fighting her damndest not to let the ridiculous sobs threatening to break free from her lips overtake her. This was a moment she’d been waiting for, for a long time now.

She wanted it to be perfect.

So, nodding her head, she smiled. Laughing softly through her happy tears as she answered her baby with a resounding “Yes,” feeling so freaking happy her heart felt as if it would burst at any moment from the overload of emotion. “If you’ll have me, yes.” She nodded again. “I would … love to be your mommy, baby.”

Sofia’s eyes filled with tears.

“Sofi.” Reanna cupped her face right as the tears fell down her reddening cheeks. “No, no, no,” she cried, leaning forward and pressing her forehead to Sofia’s.

“But I have happy tears, too,” she sniffled, bringing her tiny hand up to wipe her eyes.

“Don’t cry, please, honey,” Reanna begged again, her voice still a strained whisper. “I’ll be a mess.”

A hot blubbering mess if Sofia kept it up. Reanna was feeling too damn emotional tonight, and Sofia crying would have her abandoning every bit of restraint she had to start weeping all over this penthouse.

“Stop, stop …” Reanna whispered, wiping Sofia’s eyes, refusing to surrender to her weeping. “No crying, huh, baby,” she smiled. Then she gripped on to Sofi’s chin, giving her head a gentle shake. “We’ll have plenty of time for tears when you’re a teenager and we’re at each other’s throats, yes?”

Her baby’s answering smile was as dazzling as the sparkle that lit up her bright blue eyes. “Yes,” she nodded, scooting her little body closer to Reanna. “I love you, Mommy.”

And there it was again, that lump in her throat. Those damn sobs threatening to go against her wishes.

Again, Reanna swallowed them, even as she kissed Sofi’s cheek, her forehead, and lastly her perfect little lips right before she gazed into her wide teary eyes. “I love you, too, my sweet, perfect, precious little girl.”

Reanna hadn’t known just how much a person could love another human until she loved Sofia Nicole Valente. Sofia was her heart, her smile, and her laughter, even on her worst day. Sofia was everything and more than Reanna could have ever prayed for in a daughter.

“Will you and Papa stay with me? Until I go to sleep?”

There was nothing that Reanna would have loved more at that moment.

Reaching across the bed, she grasped onto Kyle’s hand when he placed it in hers, and they stood up and got on to Sofia’s bed.

It wasn’t a tight fit, by any means. Sofia was a little princess with a bed fit and sized for a Queen. So they all laid comfortably, Sofia giggling as she curled into a ball between them, and Reanna and Kyle, lying back on the pillows, turning to face one another as they gazed into each other’s eyes.

It was a rare occurrence, Kyle letting Reanna see all that he felt for her in his eyes. It was even more rare that he allowed her to see his pain, that something was hurting him on the inside. But tonight … he had.

It had taken Sofia a full half an hour to fall asleep, and the entire time they laid with her, Reanna had been face to face with Kyle’s love, and intense inner pain. A pain hidden behind all of that love. An emotion he probably hadn’t even known was visible; Reanna saw it clearly, and the moment she did, it struck her heart. Twisting it, squeezing it, until she’d found herself inhaling a deep breath to keep from wincing at the pain.

Something was wrong. Kyle was hurting.

Perhaps it was why he seemed so there, but not there when he’d come into Sofia’s room. He’d taken a call in his office right after dinner. One that he hadn’t been too excited about answering, but Reanna hadn’t thought much of it at first. She’d thought it was just a work call. But now, she was pretty sure that something was … off with Kyle. She could feel it on the inside.

It was that connection; the one that enabled her to feel the pain that he ran from, to cry the tears that he refused to cry, to suffer the emotion that he always buried, to fear what he didn’t want to fear. Something was beating at her heart, urging her to reach out to him so that he could pour out his soul to her. But that was a task easier said than done …

They’d slipped out of Sofia’s room about ten minutes ago, and had been headed to their own room when Kyle’s cell had begun to buzz in his pocket again. He’d been upset, of course, as had Reanna, but he’d still taken the call, leaving Reanna to go to their bedroom alone, while he went to his office. While he was gone, Reanna had taken some time to think. About everything really, not just about what was going on with Kyle.

She’d taken advantage of the silence, and let her mind relax for a moment. Let herself have a bit of mental down time, as she took in her new surroundings, and explored her new bedroom.

It wasn’t as if she had never stepped into Kyle’s room before. She had. But never for longer than a moment. After all, a moment had been all she’d needed to steal one of his t-shirts, or a pair of his sweat pants from his drawers. But she’d never really looked around. She’d always been too … shy to explore his bedroom the way she’d always wanted to. But now, that it was hers too, she decided it was time that she look around, see how much she was going to change in this new bedroom of hers.

Looking at the bed, Reanna shook her head.

While it was lovely, and she appreciated that the bed was king sized, her fiancé’s obsession with black comforters was becoming a cause for worry with her. And for Christ’s sake, did the man not know of any other color than blue? Black comforter, dark blue pillow casing, and throw pillows. Dark blue, black out curtains covering the massive window—that Reanna freaking loved by the way— on the far side of the bedroom. Black dressers, black bed side tables, black digital clock with dark blue numbers displayed on the screen.

It was too much!

Reanna’s only saving grace had been the massive, walk-in closet. Stunning cherry wood everywhere. The linings of the nooks where clothes were hung, the drawers scaling across the walls, and this gorgeous, huge, circular, island dresser in the middle of the room. It was incredible. Reanna had never seen anything like it. She’d had to get her phone out to take pictures, knowing immediately that this was the closet that she’d wanted in the new house that Kyle would be designing for them after the wedding. And she’d thought that that was it; that that closet had been the only room in her new bedroom that would take her breath away.

That was until she walked into the white marble bathroom.

Holy shit!

Was all she’d remembered thinking before she’d blacked out, then came to, as she was stepping out of a hot, jasmine filled, bubble bath thirty-five minutes later, feeling so freaking amazing that she’d almost cried.

Dear lord, that had been an experience. The tub had been so gloriously beautiful, and the room … it was what Reanna imagined the bathrooms in heaven would look like. She didn’t think she’d have such an experience until Jesus came back, but here. Here she was, walking around her dream bathroom naked, searching for a towel to dry her freshly cleaned body.

Once she found one, she dried herself off, wrapped the plush towel around her body, then went to the huge mirror and gazed at herself. Smiling, she released the clip that held up her hair, gently shaking it loose as it fell to her shoulders. She still felt so different, just as she had back at the cabin. Maybe it was because of her new surroundings, or maybe it was just because she’d finally felt like she … discovered herself. Reanna didn’t know, but she loved it.

The sound of the bedroom door opening then closing made her heart jump, her eyes brightening at the knowledge that Kyle had finally finished up his long call.

Just in time.

Tightening the towel around herself, she ran her fingers through her hair, making sure she looked ‘fresh out of the bath’ sexy, then she quickly exited the bathroom. When she opened the door, Kyle was nowhere in sight, but she’d heard him rustling around in the closet.

Quickly, she headed over to his dresser and took out one of his t-shirts. After putting it on, she made her way to her suitcase, taking out her favorite lotion, then swiftly, and pretty sloppily, rubbed it over her body. She really couldn’t wait to get moved in. Get all of her clothes to the apartment, her vanity, her colorful décor that would bring color and life to this bedroom. Maybe she’d redecorate the living room too, and the kitchen …

Screw it, she’d just redecorate the entire apartment.

That seemed like the best idea, seeing as they’d be living here until their next house was built, and there was no way in hell that Reanna was living in a colorless bachelor pad until then. Seriously, the only room in this apartment that had any splash of life was Sofia’s beautiful bedroom. Reanna had to save this place. It was her job, as a new wife and mother, and she took it seriously.

Smiling, at how well she was already doing in her new life, Reanna stood to her feet as she finished rubbing the remainder of the lotion on her hands, then she made her way to the closet, where Kyle was undressing for bed.

Perhaps a little light teasing, before some wild, passionate love making would improve that somber mood she knew her love was in.

Then after that, she’d make him talk to her. Tell her what was troubling that brilliant mind of his.

Calm yourself Kyle … You can get through one night at the least, right?

Shaking his head at himself, Kyle finished unbuttoning his shirt. He was being absolutely ridiculous, pathetic even. His head was everywhere, and his stomach was all twisted in knots, and he had no fucking idea why.

Abrielle.

His conscience whispered, making Kyle want to ram his fist through the nearest wall. Why did her name keep popping in his head? And why did it hurt so damn much every time it did?

It made no sense.

He was home now. The peace deal was done, and Reanna and Sofia were both safe, happy; so what the hell was wrong with him? Was he seriously having this much trouble keeping his shit together because that fucking bitch was in New York City?

Fuck!

He needed to stop. He needed to calm himself; he was flipping his shit for no fucking reason. Abrielle wasn’t the only damn problem he had to deal with tonight. There was other shit. Shit like, how the fuck was he going to tell Reanna about the ‘oopsy’ killing of her ex doctor boyfriend today at work. Or was he going to tell her at all?

He could lie. Pretend it didn’t happen. Or perhaps get married sooner, let a few weeks pass by, then have Reanna receive a call that the dear old doc had unfortunately been the victim of a freak accident, or a car accident, or something of the sort. Kyle had options here.

Lying wasn’t that bad, when it was for the purposes of protecting her feelings right? She’d appreciate it if she knew … Or maybe she wouldn’t. Maybe she’d … hate him for lying to her, almost as much, or maybe even more than she’d hate him for letting the doc die. She’d probably leave him, never speak to him again, accuse him of bamboozling her into marrying him; then annul the marriage, disappear forever, and leave him a broken, pathetic shell of a man …

Kyle's brows furrowed at the thought of the many possible outcomes.

Okay … it was becoming quite clear to him that either way he played this he was fucked.

“Hey there, sexy …”

Reanna’s sudden appearance at the door of the closet, unfortunately, startled the fuck out of Kyle, and it was impossible to hide.

He turned and faced her too fucking quickly, with a look on his face that was too fucking guilty, and he knew for a fact that she noticed the behavior immediately.

“Baby!” he greeted way to loudly in a rush of breath.

Fuck!

“Oh my God,” she laughed softly, her eyes widening as she raised a calming hand in his direction. “It’s just me, honey, calm down. You expecting someone else—”