Dangerous Confessions of the Heart (Dangerous Secrets of the Heart)

(Spoiler Alert) Sequel to:

Dangerous Secrets of the Heart

My heart was screaming. My chest ached with hurt. Why did I take the agreement? Why did I leave him? There was so much that I needed to discover. Numerous questions I had for him. So much that he needed to confess. I had lost everything; my chances of having a future, the one person I truly trusted, the love of my life and possible someone else I cared about. But, life was simple, quiet, lonely and depressing here in Hawaii. My heart ached as I silently cried his name in my dreams, in my core, in my soul. I desired to see him again.  But I had to face the facts; that it was never, ever going to happing. I was never going to be happy again, or so it seemed. Just as things began to improve for me here in my new found home… someone was about to interrupt my happiness with some news to me that would terminate my heart completely. I had return. I had know; was this actually over? And now everything I always assumed was true would be proven incorrect… And once it was over… I would have a heartbreaking choice to make.

Chapter 1

              My heart was shattering. My chest burned with hurt. Why did I take the agreement? Why did I leave Jesse? There was so much that I desired to find out. Numerous questions I had for him. But he was with Sarah. They were blissful together and living a picture-perfect life with his son. I had lost everything; my likelihood of having a future with my baby, my mother, the love of my life and possible even my father. I don’t know how things were going to improve. Little did I know; they defiantly were.

It had been two weeks since my almost death and the loss of my baby. I had barely settled in to my new home in Hawaii. I had bought a stunning shack-like seaside house. I could walk out on my deck and be right at the ocean. It was a perfect location for Cody and me. Life was simple, quiet, lonely and depressing. I dreamt of Jesse every night. Most nights were good dreams that turned bad and some started off bad and worsened. I never had a happy dream again. My heart ached as I silently screamed his name in my dreams, in my core, in my soul. I desired to see him again.  But I had to face the facts; that it was never, ever going to happing. I was never going to be happy again, or so it seemed.

Although I had Cody to keep me company, I pretty much avoided people. I didn’t want to find any friends because when I have friends, I end up losing them. Everyone I care for either leaves or gets taken away from me. If Bill got wind of me talking to anyone then he would send James to “deal with them.” But the reality was: I miss people. I miss being able to talk about life and feelings. I desperately needed a friend…and that was about to happen.

              Today was September 5
th
. I decided to take Cody for a stroll on the beach. The air was steadily blowing. Hawaii was beautiful. It was full of laughter and excitement. The trees and flowers were beautifully in bloom. I watched as the waves crashed on the shore. Unexpectedly, Cody jumps up in the air breaking my daze. I looked down at him. He had jumped up and caught a Frisbee. A tall, attractive man jogged over to us. He was in his mid-20s. I began to go into a trance as I stared at his shirtless chest running toward us. He had shaggy, golden hair and penetrating, crystal blue eyes.

              “Aloha.” He said breaking the trance.

              “Umm….Hi….I mean…Aloha… to you to...” I stumbled over my words.

              “My name is Austin.” He said to me with a snicker.

              “I’m J….Ami….Ami Anderson.” I said. I almost said my real name.

              “It’s great to meet you Ami. Do you mind if I get my Frisbee back?” He inquired.

              We both looked down at Cody who had torn the plastic Frisbee in half.

              “I am so sorry. I’ll pay for another one…” I said.

              “No, it’s fine. It was only a dollar at the store.” He said with a chuckle. “How about you come join us?”

              “Oh no…I couldn’t. I’m not good at sports.” I admitted I began to walk away.

              “You don’t have to play…would you like to watch?” He asked.

              I thought about watching him run around. I thought about his bare chest. That would be an enjoyable thing to “watch.”

              I hesitated but in a few minutes, bit my lip as I said “Sure. I’d love to.”

              “Great!” he exclaimed.

              He walked with me over to his friends.

              “Jacob, go get another Frisbee. The dog over here had a snack.” He said with a snicker. He bent down a stroked Cody on the head. “Does he have a name?” He asked.

              “Yeah, his name is Cody.” I said.

              “Hello Cody. Nice to meet you.” He said to him petting his head. “Don’t eat this next Frisbee please.” He requested.

              I laughed. “Why don’t I take him home? Then you guys can play without him trying to eat it.” I said.

              “You don’t have to take him home…” He said.

              “No it’s fine. He needs to go back home anyway, it’s his dinner time.” I said.

              “Well…I’ll walk with you.” He said.

              “Okay.” I said.

              He turned around and told his friends that he would be back. He raced to my side and began walking with me back to my house.

              “So, you’re new in town?” He questioned.

              “Yeah. I just moved here about two weeks ago…how can you tell?” I asked.

              “Well, you’re as pale as snow.” He said with a laugh.

              “Wow. I need to sun tan and fast.” I said laughing with him.

              “You can always hang out with me. My friends and I are always on the beach hanging out after school and stuff.” He said.

              “School…?” I asked.

              “College…” He said. “I’m 24 so high school has been over for me for a while. I’m a senior at the local community college.”

              “That sounds fun. Well, I’m 19. I just turned 19 two weeks ago.” I said. “I graduated about two months ago…from high school.” I said with a laugh.

              “Wow, Quick to leave the nest? Where are you from?” He asked.

              “I’m from the Niagara Fall’s region.” I admitted.

              “Wow, it’s got to be beautiful there. We have a waterfall here but it’s nothing compared to Niagara Falls.” He said.

              I laughed disregarding the waterfall comment. “We’re here.” Any thought about a waterfall, I knew, would bring back memories of Jesse and my special spot.

              “This is a nice place. Great location…” He said.

              “Thanks.” I said as I unlocked the back door and allowed Cody to go inside carrying the Frisbee in his mouth. I shut the door and locked it again.

              I walked back down the deck stairs.

              “It’s getting dark. Are you guys going to be able to play in the dark?” I asked.

              “We’ll play until it gets dark and then we will head over to Jacob’s for a party. His wife cooks all kinds of food, there’s music and dancing.”

“Cool.” I said.

“Everyone brings their girlfriends or wives or whatever.” He said.

              “Oh cool. That sounds like fun.” I said as we began to walk back to the spot that we met.

              “Hey, I got a great idea….Come with me?” He asked after a few minutes.

              “…to the party?” I asked.

              “Yeah, it’ll be fun.” He said.

              “Don’t you have a girlfriend or wife to go with?” I asked with a laugh.

              “No, I’ve never had a wife. My last girlfriend was messing around with another guy. We broke up about a month ago.” He admitted. “How about it… come with me, please?”

              I thought about it. I didn’t really know anyone here. It would be a fun night out. “…Yeah. Sure, I’ll go.” I said with uncertainty.

              “Great. We’ll have a great time, trust me.” He said. We had finally reached the spot where his friends stood.

              “It’s about time man.” One of his friends spoke.

              “Ami, this is Dickey, Patrick, Eddie, and Jacob. Guy’s this is Ami, she just moved here from Niagara Falls.”  He told the group overlooking his friend’s remark.

              Dickey was about my age. He had brown hair and olive green eyes. He was plump and petite.

              Patrick was built. He was older than the rest of them. Maybe mid-30’s, he was baldheaded and had hazel eyes. He reminded me of Vin Diesel a little.

              Eddie was tall and scrawny. He had short black hair, buck teeth and glasses. He looked about early 20’s as well.

              Jacob was bronzed and about the same height has Austin, mid 20’s with spikey black hair and dark brown eye.

              “Hello Ami.” They said in unison.

              “Hi guys. It’s nice to meet you.” I said.

              “Come on. Let’s play before it gets to dark.” Eddie urged.

              I took my place over to the side to watch them play. Austin winked at me as he pitched the Frisbee in the air towards Patrick. Patrick caught it and tossed it to Eddie who in turn hurled it at Jacob and Jacob flung it to Dickey. This continued until someone dropped it and they started again. They tried to trick each other and throw it far out so they would have to dive for it. Dickey tried to jump for it and ended up pushing sand all over me, but I didn’t care. I was having the most fun I have had in a while; and it was entertaining to watch them have so much fun. My mind trailed off and began to think about Jesse. I gazed off at the ocean. I thought about his face when we were playing paintball. How much fun we had the week when we were “just friends.” Playing cards with him on my bed, swimming in the river, underneath the waterfall, everything we had done was so fun and magical. I missed him greatly. I didn’t know I could be joyful again, but as I sat on the warm sand observing these good looking guys joke and have fun, I felt normal again. I felt whole again. I didn’t want this sensation to go away.

              “Ami?...Ami?” A hand touched my shoulder and transported me out of my train of thought.

              “Yeah...?” I asked.

              “Are you ready to go? It’s getting dark and we are supposed to be at Jacob’s shortly.” He said. I had notice that he had put a shirt on. I looked around and the others were already gone.

              “Yeah. Let’s go.” I said. He held out his hand to help me up off the sand. I took it. I felt a jolt of electricity hit me just like it did with Jesse. He pulled me up. I rested weightlessly in his arms gazing into his eyes. His grin broke my trance on his eyes. “Sorry.” I said pulling away.

              “Shall We?” He asked ignoring my awkward moment.

              “Yeah, let’s go.” I said I let his hand go and strolled beside him as he led me to Jacob’s house.

              The house was lit up and music was pouring out of the windows and doors. I followed Austin in to the house, greeting everyone that Austin introduced me to.

              “Are you thirsty?” Austin asked me in my ear but loud enough to hear him over the music.

              “Sure.” I said back to him and shook my head yes. He took me by the hand again. I felt the feeling of electricity again as he guided me through the crowd towards the kitchen.

              It was quieter here in the kitchen. The aroma of chicken wings and pizza rolls occupied the air around us.

              “You want a beer?” He asked me.

              “No, I’m okay. I’ll take a soda.” I said.

              “Aww. Your new girl doesn’t wanna drink?” A female voice came from behind me. We turned around to face her. She was a skinny, suntanned, blond girl. She was in her early 20’s.

              “Crystal, what are you doing here?” Austin asked.

              “I’m here with Timmy. You know; my new boyfriend.” She said with a chuckle. “Come here baby.” She called out to the crowd. A dark, African American male broke out of the crowd and came to her side. He placed his arm around her.

              “Timmy…Pleasure to finally put a name with a face.” Austin said and shook his hand. “Thank you; she’s your problem now.” He said sarcastically.

Crystal let out a loud disgusted sound but was quickly interrupted from the side of us.

              “Crystal, you’re not welcome here anymore.” Another female voice spoke. “Leave before I call the police.” She warned. I turned to her. She was a woman in her mid-20s. She had long wavy blond hair and was curvy; not skinny and not fat.

              “Fine, keep your panties on Judy. We’re leaving. This party blows anyway.” Crystal said. She grabbed Timmy’s hand and marched back into the room of crowded people.

              “Hi, you must be Ami?” She said extending a hand to me. “I’m Judy. Jacob told me that you would be coming. Welcome to our home.” She said snatching me for a hug.