Dangerous Games (18 page)

Nice try, Mom,
I thought,
but no cigar. Kudos on the lying front but then again, you were always a consummate actress who could easily hold your own with the likes of Susan Sarandon and Meryl Streep.

I cocked my head to the side. “Is
that
what she told you? The whole eight years I lived with my grandparents, I saw my mother a total of four times. The first two I can’t remember because I was too young, the third happened when I was six and the last time happened when she came to ‘claim’ me. She’d married my father and they’d decided it was time I should live with them in the ‘lap of luxury’ as she phrased it.”

My stepfather turned toward me and his blue-green eyes seemed conflicted. “I can see you are still very bitter and believe me, I can understand your attitude. However, you’re all grown up now, and what ever you have failed to do in life can no longer be blamed on your parents.”

For some reason his attitude rankled me. I didn’t need some stranger making me feel bad about how I felt about my
own
mother. He barely knew her and although they had married one another, spending more than a few times between the sheets with someone did not make one suddenly all aware of the person they decided to share a little intimate time.

If anyone knew this, it was me. I thought I knew Finn but I never would have imagined he would put me in the position he had and it still pissed me off to no end I’d gone along with it. I knew I was stronger than that, and I’d caved like a paper doll. I don’t think the decision I made that night in Boston would ever escape my psyche, and it was all but impossible to forget.

I stood suddenly, aware of my half naked appearance in a bikini I’d not swam in and nothing else.

“I need to go shower and change. Monika and I are supposed to meet up this afternoon,” I lied before I stood and began to walk out of the dining room.

“Well, if you feel up to it, we could have dinner tonight,” Etienne remarked.

I stopped in my tracks. I didn’t like how he had begun to manipulate me into monopolizing most of my time. If I felt like spending time with him then I would but it certainly wouldn’t be because he thought it was impertinent for him to watch my every move.

It made me feel like I was being spied on, and that was not something I enjoyed. I was my own person, used to taking care of myself and I didn’t need him in my life. He needed female company; my mother would be home in a matter of days so he would have to wait until she arrived. He was the center of
her
universe, not mine.

Finally, I said, “I will think about it, and let you know.”

Etienne didn’t speak and I wasn’t going to give him the opportunity to try to change my mind before I left quickly and walked to my own guesthouse.

I opened the door at the same time the phone began to ring. In my haste to answer, I didn’t check the Caller ID and merely said, “Hello?”

“I have been trying to reach you since your disappearing act. What the hell happened to you?” a male voice inquired.

Finn.

Shit, I didn’t feel like taking to him or justifying myself. The memories were still too fresh in my mind for me to make sense of them. I needed to get him off the phone as quickly as possible.

“Why are you calling me and what do you want? Did you expect me to stick around after you treated me like a crack-addicted strawberry at Trevor’s house? How could you have done that to me and think everything between us would be okay?” I implored on the other end in a raised voice.

I didn’t care if I was almost yelling down the telephone. He deserved my anger and my frustration. My humiliation and the embarrassment that situation had caused for me.

“Listen, Evie, I was stupid and I’m sorry. I should have never subjected you to that, not for five thousand and not even for one hundred thousand. If I could, I would be there in a heartbeat to tell you in person but I know you don’t want to see me—”

“You’re too damned right because I don’t and I wouldn’t see you for all the money in the world. I am the mother of your child—granted he’s not being raised by us—and how dare you humiliate the way you did when you said you loved me? Is that how you prove it? By making me do hideous and degrading acts like sucking you off in front of a bunch of kids whose parents’ run in the same circle as my own?”

“Listen, the world of the wealthy and infamous is not one I’m comfortable in and yeah, I did want to prove to those self-righteous assholes they were no better than me. I used you to do it, and I can’t say how sorry I am enough. I knew you were going to leave but I thought you would at least explain your feelings to me in a note or a text. I haven’t heard a word from you, and I didn’t know whether you were dead or alive,” he explained in a calm and soothing voice.

“It doesn’t take very long to find out I got back to L.A. safe and sound so leave off the useless remarks. I really don’t know if there will ever be a you and me again so don’t bother calling. If and when I decide to forgive you, I’ll call you.”

“I’m not a fool, Evie. You’re in self-destruct mode and when that happens, all you do is hurt people around you. Don’t you dare bring Etienne into this because I know you will. In fact, you’ll use what happened between us to justify you fucking him. Don’t think I don’t know what you plan to do because it has been in the back of your mind from the beginning.”

I couldn’t say anything in regards to his last comment. He knew me too well because it had been in the back of my mind to see if I could seduce my stepfather but only because I had a feeling he was using my mother. She was extremely business savvy but when it came to men she always made the wrong decisions. My father and Etienne were the only mistakes she’d bothered to marry but that didn’t mean she was hip to men, and how they saw the world.

Unfortunately, I knew her husband was mine to have, and that made me sad. I wanted to believe in happy ever after and that he loved my mother because she truly was a woman he wanted to devote his time, life, and fidelity. However, beneath the smooth French charm was a calculating con artist who had finagled his way into my mother’s life, and I saw nothing but tragedy and doom in the future. There would be no happy ending and my mother would end up alone and out of a shit load of money because she’d made it clear they hadn’t signed a prenuptial agreement.

“What I decide to do and who I sleep with really isn’t any of your business, Finn. We’re through. I am breaking it off with you so I am a free agent—”

“You have no idea how much that hurts my heart to hear you say something like that but Etienne is
married
to your mother. I would expect more from you than some sleazy affair with your stepfather. It’s such a fucking cliché, Evie.”

“Well it looks like we are in the same boat because I expected a hell of a lot more from you than sucking your cock in a room full of college kids. I thought you were above petty bullshit like that but deep down, you’re just poor Irish trash, and you always will be.

“No matter how much money you acquire, it’s never going to change who you are, and you were lucky to be with me but you threw that all away for some cheap ploy that has cost you so much more than dollars and cents. It cost you my heart, Finbar, and what I felt for you. I hope it was worthwhile for you because I can’t ever see how we can break this impasse between us…and I’m not sure I want to do it either.”

Finn breathed down the earpiece of my phone. “So, that’s it, huh? Not one more shot? You’re done with me.”

I could have given him hope but I decided he needed none of that. “Yes, we’re through.”

There was nothing else left to say and because I didn’t want to hear him beg and plead, I simply ended the call though all I could hear was the sound of my beating heart.

My head pounded and the tears came with a resounding resignation. I wasn’t through with Finn forever but it had to be this way for the time being for the sake of his own sanity and mine too.

F
inn had finally done it.

He’d lost her and now his heart ached with the likes, which he’d never known before.

Before she hung up the phone, he knew she would cry but after the tears were dried, she’d have washed her hands of him. It wasn’t so easy for him because he didn’t cry.

Ever.

The last time he remembered sobbing was when he was eight, and he’d been beaten to a pulp by a few kids on the council estate. His mother had told him it was his own sorry fault for being a “sissy” and if he didn’t want it to happen again, he better “man up,” and learn how to fight.

Finn began taking boxing lessons from Father Sheehan who ran the local gymnasium for school-aged lads. The next fight a few of the council estate boys picked with him, he’d not only won but managed not to hurt them too bad so he wouldn’t get in trouble with local law enforcement.

However nothing could make his current situation any better because his stupid pride had led him down a path that he should have known would be nothing but trouble. He couldn’t say for certain why he’d decided to make Evie give him a blow job at Trevor’s, only that in some strange way it made him feel superior to all those smug, rich assholes that night.

Of course he suffered from an inferiority complex. He’d been poor most of his life and a fat bank account dealt to him by the life he’d decided to live didn’t erase his past. He’d always be poverty-stricken Finbar Reilly from Omagh, Northern Ireland, and that wouldn’t ever change. It didn’t make him feel any better now that he had his American citizenship and passport, and all the money in the world didn’t change the initial circumstances surrounding his birth.

His sheer stupidity had cost him the most precious person in the world and nothing he did would ever make him feel better. He found himself drinking more often than not, pounding down shots of Jack Daniels. Of course he only did this when he was alone.

When he and Brandon had jobs, he sobered up, showered, and shaved. He presented to the world the same Finn who had always been very much in control but he’d also changed. He was colder, remote, and didn’t warm up to people very easily.

After a job that night with Brandon where they delivered goods to Rich in Manhattan, his best friend pulled over to the side of the road on Highway CT-8 just outside of Bridgeport.

“What the hell is going on with you, man? I know you’re hurting because Evie left but look what you did to her? What self-respecting woman would stay? I would have never done that to Fiona, not in a million years, and she isn’t half the woman Evie is,” Brandon stated in a soft timber voice.

Finn knew his best friend wasn’t trying to pick a fight. He only cared about his wellbeing, and to the most casual observer, it was obvious, everything was far from okay with him.

“I know. We spoke about it and she doesn’t think she ever wants to get back together with me again,” he murmured as he looked out of the window at the cars which passed them by at various speeds but all doing well over sixty miles an hour.

“Listen, I know you needed to get your shit together but I am telling you to go. Leave. Just get on a flight to L.A. and see her in person. What you did to her—the shit you pulled at Trevor’s—that isn’t something you can say sorry about over the phone. That is some serious shit, man, and you know it.”

“What about the business? I told her I couldn’t just up and leave you—”

“Business will take care of itself. We were thinking about scaling back anyway. I think we should stick to the big clients like Rich and leave the rich kids alone. While you’re gone, if they want dope, I won’t be answering my phone. We have enough money in the bank and we are set for life. This is a dangerous life we chose but we got rich. Now, there are only three things that can happen: we can get out, get caught and thrown in prison or get dead. I know which one I want to do. What about you?”

“Yeah, I know I should be on the first thing smokin’ but…what if she still won’t see me?”

Brandon stared at him with serious hazel eyes. “It’s better to say you went out there, and tried rather than continue down this path of destruction you’re already on. Do you think drinkin’ till you pass out at night is healthy? Just because you’re dead sober on runs don’t mean I don’t know what you’re up to.”

“I know I’m being stupid but…Evie is the love of my life, and I can’t just forget about her and move on. She’s already told me it’s off between us. How can we repair a situation I broke in the first place?”

“You’d know more about that than I would, bro. Just think it over because it beats what you’re doing now. At this point in time, your behavior helps no one.”

Brandon pulled off the side of the road, and got back on the highway again, clearing up to a comfortable speed where they wouldn’t be stopped by patrolmen for speeding but they weren’t driving too fast to stand out either.

Finn knew he had a lot of soul searching to do but how did he do that when there was absolutely nothing he could possibly say to get Evie back ever again?

D
espite his reluctance about the situation, Finn ordered his ticket to LAX from Boston Logan, packed a bag, and reluctantly took a taxi to the airport. He didn’t know how long he planned to stay so he’d locked up the house and instructed Brandon to check on it every now and then with the spare key he had.

Los Angeles was a revelation and not because of the sheer amount of beautiful people or wealth he was surrounded by. He didn’t have a reputation there so it was easy to rent a nice apartment in one of the best parts of town and buying a car was a no-brainer. He didn’t go too flashy and ended up with a 2012, cobalt blue Mustang GT. It was more than enough to make him blend in but not enough to make him stand out either.

Finn knew Evie’s mother was back in town because he’d Googled her address and had seen the aging film star with her boy-toy hubby. She knew how to mask her advanced years over her husband quite well but up close, anyone would be able to tell she was at least fifteen years his senior if not more.

He’d also witnessed Evie hanging out with Monika and Dylan; Evie around her stepfather and mother; Evie out shopping on Rodeo Drive; Evie at the Beverly Center. She’d become his one and only obsession and never before had he felt like a stalker but she’d turned him into one whether he wanted to believe it or not.

She must have felt watched because she began to change her routines. Instead of driving straight to a place, she would make several off-key stops and turns that were clearly out of the way. Finn would then lose himself and go home or either find a restaurant or bar that wasn’t too pretentious or posh and either have a drink or a meal.

He hadn’t completely dried out and still liked his whiskey but he didn’t get stinking drunk either anymore. He never had more than two and tried to occupy his time by finding a gym to work out at and he began to read, more than he’d ever read in his whole entire life.

Finn purchased a Kindle Fire tablet and began to stock up on books. He read everything from the latest Romantic smut, thrillers and suspense novels to classics like
The Count of Monte Cristo
and
Invisible Man
. It helped him keep his mind off Evie but really what he needed to see was a friendly face, and that is what prompted him to pay a visit to Monika and Dylan.

She had kept up her end of the bargain and dumped her boyfriend, the perfect Clive. Dylan had assimilated to the lifestyle of the rich and famous quite quickly. He looked and dressed different, and under Monika’s careful guidance, he was attending Santa Monica College to get his Associates in Business before he continued on to UCLA where he would achieve his Bachelors. Monika had his whole future college schedule planned out, and Finn admired Dylan for allowing her to take the lead in an area she obviously knew much more about than he did.

Monika treated him well and said nothing to the contrary which made him believe Evie hadn’t told her best friend what had happened between them. Perhaps this was a good thing because it meant she wouldn’t judge him and it also proved his ex-girlfriend was very good at keeping secrets, especially painful and embarrassing ones.

Now he knew why her best friend had never treated him with disdain. She had no idea about the pregnancy at fifteen or the baby for the matter. Monika was completely unaware how entangled Finn’s and Evie’s lives were, and that is why she held such a Pollyanna view they would be able to “patch up their differences.”

“How has she been?” Finn inquired after Monika brought them ice-cold Beck’s from the fridge while she nursed Evian water in a delicate eleven-ounce bottle.

“Well, we see each other at least once a week, and she’s doing pretty good all things considering…” Monika trailed off.

“What do you mean?” he pressed.

Dylan gave him a warning look but Monika took no offense. “Well, she and Etienne have really grown close since she’s been here. There’s nothing-untoward going on between them but I think it pisses off Athena. I don’t think she wanted her husband to like her daughter as much as he does, and it’s created a lot of tension. She would love to move out but it’s not like she has a choice in the matter. If she leaves then she can say goodbye to her inheritance for the next twenty years or so. Her mother can be a real shrew when she wants to be, Finn.”

She shrugged her shoulders before she swigged from her Evian. “Evie and Athena have always had a strange relationship. It probably has a lot to do with Evie spending so much time back east with her grandparents. I mean, she doesn’t really
know
her mother, and her mom has no interest in really learning what kind of person Evie is either. I would call the situation messed up but it’s no different from so many of our friends we went to school with. If they are as attractive as their mother’s, they are almost always viewed as competition. The relationship I have with my own mother is definitely a rarity because I am decent looking but my mother doesn’t view me as a threat if you know what I mean.”

“Your mother is also hot!” Dylan exclaimed. “And she’s barely forty or something. It’s different because Athena is also pushing fifty and decided to marry a thirty-year-old guy. Your stepfathers’ have always been close to your mother’s age too.”

“True,” Monika replied.

“Jeez, how many stepfathers’ have you had?” Finn asked in an off-the-cuff remark.

“Only two. There was my first stepfather, Bret Carter. He’s the father of my brother, Christian, but…he died in an automobile accident, and it was really hard on all of us because I loved him very much. And now there is Markus, who I love in my own special way, but he can’t replace my first stepfather. My real father is a lot like Evie’s father so we have always bonded over our no-good Swedish dads.”