Dangerously Happy (30 page)

Dario took his mouth from mine and I whimpered my loss, my disappointment, but he gave me a teasing little grin and, holding my gaze, went down on his knees. Oh fuck, fuck. He looked away from my face and fixed his stare on my cock, swollen hard, jutting into the air, my balls, already tightening, barely bouncing and swinging, and Xavier’s cock, emerging from my hole inch by inch, then disappearing again as he plunged into my ass again and again. Then Dario raised his eyes to mine again, licked his lips, and started sucking me.

I whimpered again, dying of pleasure, really like my mind and body were shutting down, like I couldn’t think, couldn’t move, I was just sensation and the sounds provoked by the feeling of Dario’s mouth wrapped around my cock and Xavier’s big pole stuffing my hole, hitting that wad of nerves, making my body shake, all my muscles quivering as Xavier wrapped his arms around me, his huge hands pressed back against my chest, against my belly, pegging me against him as he rode me, grunting, growling, pumping into me more and more slowly, but so deep each time I could hardly stand it, but fuck, the pleasure, the pressure just kept building and building, Dario’s slurping, sucking, his dick-massaging tongue working me over and it was like hanging over the precipice, just about to come, just there, so close, but not coming, and god I was almost crying, weeping my need, my pleasure so huge and heavy it was almost pain, but I still wasn’t coming and Xavier was plunging into me, his sweaty chest and belly slipping against my back, his exhales huffing growls that kept getting hungrier, angrier, the cannibal warrior fiercely seeking to feed, and then, fuck, fuck, the thread snapped and I was falling, plummeting, screaming, coming, catapulting through my beautiful agony, my little death at terminal velocity, Dario sucking more gently now, drinking me as I came. Then he was back with me, drawing me gently into his arms, and they were both holding me, four strong arms wrapped tight around me, cradling my limp, quivering body as Xavier went on fucking me, more fiercely, more ravenously than ever until he stilled, howled against my back, his jaws locking on my shoulder. Then he was pumping into me, shallow, slow, shuddering against me, panting, grunting, and finally sighing. He stilled. Went on holding me as he quivered and shuddered.

They helped me get down because my legs were useless. They got me onto the couch and held me, both of them, until I’d recovered enough to walk and think, and then we went upstairs and went to sleep, Dario spooning me, Xavier spooning Dario, happily sandwiched between us.

When I woke they were both gone, and when I heard the shower running I figured they were enjoying a little one-on-one. I kept waiting for the jealousy to surge up, but it didn’t come. I just lay there, enjoying the various images of what they might be doing to each other under the cascade of water. But when they came back, they got in bed with me, Xavier got me and Dario doing sixty-nine, with me on top of Dario, straddling his face, and after watching for a while (quite a long while, actually, during which Xavier forbade us both to come), Xavier fucked me again. With Xavier behind me, on top of me, his hips driving my pelvis against Dario's face, driving my cock into his throat each time Xavier drove his massive cock into me, I was terrified I was going to choke Dario to death, but apparently the two of them knew what they were doing, and it ended up being one of the hottest things I’ve ever done.

When Xavier left, Dario and I got back in bed. We didn’t fuck or fool around except for a lot of kissing and caressing and holding each other. Just reconnecting. After the wild intensity of our time with Xavier, it felt wonderful to be quiet and natural and at ease. Safe.

“
At some point—it doesn’t have to be now, but when you’ve had a little time to process—I’d love to know what you thought about last night. And this morning,” Dario murmured a little drowsily by my ear.

“
Are you just trying to get me to talk dirty to you?” I teased.

“
Always.” Slow, warm, wet kisses. “But I also want a little feedback. So I know how to do things better next time.”

I laughed. “Better?” And then I laughed again. “Next time?”

Dario was laughing, too. “I don’t necessarily mean with Xavi. Or even with someone else.”

“
I liked it.”

“
You liked it?” Dario sounded like I’d just said the funniest thing he’d ever heard.

“
I guess the neutrality’s not really appropriate, given the subject of the review,” I conceded. “I didn’t think I’d like it. I didn’t think I liked him, at first. I don’t just mean that he intimidated me. Something about him . . . I don’t know . . . worried me, I guess.”

“
But at some point you stopped worrying.”

“
Maybe not. Maybe I just liked it. Feeling uncomfortable with him. It added to the intensity of what was happening.”

“
Mmmhmmm. And how about that?”

“
Did I like what was happening?” I felt suddenly shy, and pressed my forehead to his chest, hiding from his gaze the way kids hide in their mother’s skirts around strangers. We both laughed. Finally I came out of hiding and met his eyes. “It was intense. Obviously. There were a few times when I almost chickened out.”

“
Love.” He kissed the palm of my hand, then held me suspended in his gaze. “You’re not
‘
chicken’ if you don’t want to do something.”

“
No, I know, but—”

“
No, Aidan. This is important. Everything we do in bed, or on the ottoman or in the back seat of the car, is for pleasure. To enrich this fucking incredible, beautiful thing we have together. So if I ask you, or Xavi orders you to do something you don’t want to do, truly, you have to say no. You saying no will never hurt me. It will never take away from how much I love you. Alright?”

I kissed him. “Alright.”

“
Did we do something last night that you didn’t like?”

“
No. Really. Nothing. It was all hot as fuck.” I laughed again. “I was scared to death of Xavier’s cock. But he was gentle with me.”

“
Good.”

“
I guess there’s just one thing . . .”

“
What, love?”

“
I like where we ended up going with it, it’s not that I wish the night had played out differently . . .”

“
It’s alright. You can tell me.”

“
I wish you hadn’t told him my fantasy.”

That searching, probing look. “The one about cleaning the girl with your tongue? You think I told him that?”

I shrugged.

“
Aidan, I didn’t even tell him we were a couple. You know that? I am so careful of your privacy . . .” He sighed and I felt like I’d spoiled everything. Our memory of that wild, daring night. His idea about the trust we had for one another. Maybe even that trust, itself. But then that steady assurance returned to his gaze. And then he laughed. “The second things started to go that way, I knew you were both going to be so hot for that little scenario. Xavi’s always had a thing for felching, and the poor guy never gets to do it because we’re all so careful, and no one ever goes bareback, or lets anyone fuck them bareback. I mean, Xavi could have that if he’d be up for having a serious boyfriend and be fluid bonded, but he’ll probably never let anyone that close. Although last night, this morning, I don’t know . . .”

“
What? He’s jealous of me and wants you all to himself now?”

“
Not exactly. I just think seeing us together made him feel what he’s missing.”

“
Yeah. I definitely saw some gears turning.” I didn’t ask why Xavier never had a boyfriend. Instead I asked what ’fluid bonded’ meant.

“
If you’re in a steady relationship and you decide together to stop using protection. But without necessarily being monogamous.”

“
How does that work?”

“
You don’t use condoms when you fuck each other, but you do use them if you play with other people.”

“
Have you ever been ’fluid bonded’ with anyone?”

A slightly guarded smile. “Yes. With Jared. And with Christopher.”

“
Oh.”

“
Does that bother you?”

“
No.”

“
It doesn’t worry you? After last night? The accident with the condom?”

“
You’ve been tested since then, right?”

“
Yes. Two times—no—three times since Christopher and I stopped seeing each other.”

“
Then I’m not worried.”

Sweet smile. Sweet kiss. “Good.”

“
Do you wish we were? Do you wish we weren’t using condoms?”

He gave an aroused little laugh. “It’s definitely sexy to think about. But I think that’s a conversation for three or six months from now.”

“
Because you don’t think we’ll last?” I asked, hating myself for asking because I really didn’t want to hear the answer.

“
Love.” He caressed my face and gazed at me with such an expression of love it could feel it, taste it. “If I didn’t think we were going to last I wouldn’t have asked you to live with me.”

“
I’ve lived with two women. Those relationships didn’t last.”

“
When you moved in together, did you think they would?”

“
Yes. Although I think both times I knew there were problems. And now, looking back, those problems that I saw were really the seeds of disaster. Both times.”

Dario touched my chest and started to say something. Maybe. I wasn’t sure.

“
Are you censoring yourself?” I asked.

He grinned. Caught, Accused. Forced to confess. “It’s not a good question.”

“
What? What were the problems I had with Avalyn? With Jennifer?”

“
No.” God he was adorable when he was abashed. Nervous. He traced his fingertip over the tattoo below my left nipple. One of his habits I’d learned, touching me like that when he was afraid I wouldn’t like something he was going to say. “Do you see any problems between us? I mean, something more serious than our vegetarian versus carnivore war? Something you could see hurting us in the long run?”

“
No. Not anymore.”

“
You’ve thought about it already.”

“
Yeah. I don’t want you and me to end up like me and Avalyn. I don’t know how I’d make it through that, with you. Losing you would be ten times harder than losing her was.” Then I panicked. “Do you see something, Dario?”

“
There was one thing I was worried about. But I think it’s okay now.”

“
My lack of experience?”

He laughed. “No.”

“
My insecurity. My jealousy.”

“
Yes.”

“
I know I was weird when I got home yesterday and found you with Xavier.”

“
A little.”

“
I’m sorry.”

He stroked my hair. “Don’t be sorry. It’s something we’re both working on, and I think it’s going well. How do you feel?”

“
Me too. I think it’s a lot better than it used to be.”

“
Can I ask you something, Aidan?”

“
Always. Anything.”

“
Does it bother you that I showered with Xavi this morning?”