Daring the Wild Sparks (15 page)

He nods against the side of my head and I quickly add, “Well, that
was
the last time!” He hears me giggle and he laughs with me. His fingers play with the drenched material adhering to my abdomen.

Suddenly whirling me around, the tide flows between and around us. His hands move up to my face and his thumbs drift
across my skin. His eyes gleam with something. It looks like a mixture of humor, admiration, desire and love. He smiles at me. “I love you.”

“I love you, too, Finn, even if you’re still a prepubescent boy.”

He smirks and leans down to kiss me, his full lips moving perfectly with mine. I trail my fingers over his stubble, wishing he it was lightly scratching my stomach and breasts.

Now
I’m
turning into Finn.

Reaching for my hand, he says, “Let’s go for a short walk and then we’ll get back to Dover so we can take showers, grab something to eat, and then get to church early to find somewhere to sit.”

He tugs at my hand, but I don’t move. “Who are you and what have you done with my boyfriend?”

Finn dubiously laughs. “What?”

“A walk? Showers? Where’s the makeout session you wanted?”

He narrows his eyes and adopts a prim expression. “Becks, is that all you want me for? My body?” I scoff at his remark and he smirks as he starts to lead me out of the water.

I shake my head. “I’m speechless.” Letting go of his hand, he looks to see why, and I leap onto his back, surprising him. He grasps my thighs, hoisting me up as I clutch his shoulders. “I’m not walking on the beach with a wet, white T-shirt.”

He laughs while nodding in agreement. Once I’m situated, I wind my arms around his neck and kiss his cheek, dragging my lips
through his prickly facial hair.
Now I want to skip church
. I hear a purring sound coming from his chest and I kiss his neck, giggling against his throat.

He walks us along the wet sand and we both turn our heads to look out at the water. There’s a sailboat with an enormous, white sail off in the distance.

“I want one of those someday,” he says.

“You do?” I never knew that.

“Yeah. That would be so cool, don’t you think?”

“Yeah, it would be. Ricky could be your first mate.” I laugh at the thought of those two out on the open sea. I don’t think they’d actually make it that far out, though. Maybe not even out of the marina.

“No way. You’d be my first mate, Becks. Always.”

“That is so sweet, Wilder.” I can see his smile from the corner of my eye, and I hug him tighter.

“What else do you want someday?” I ask him.

He shrugs. “I don’t know. What about you?” His fingers stroke my legs.

“A man who appreciates lopsided pancakes.” I feel him shaking from his laugh and I lightly smack his shoulder.

Finn turns and marches us through the dry sand. Spotting our towels, I slide off his back to pick them up.

His gaze drifting to my shirt, he smiles and holds out his hand for me. I wrap the towel around my shoulders, hiding my noticeable nipples, and we walk towards the house. He asks, “Are you sure you want to go tonight?”

“To church with you?” He nods and looks at me skeptically. “Yes. I want to share this with you, be a part of something that is important to you. I want to spend more time with you, too. You don’t mind, do you?”

Pensively smiling, he shakes his head, his hair shifting colors in the light. “No. I’m glad you want to come with me.”

“Who all is going with us?”

“I don’t know. Maybe Ricky. I’m not sure.”

“What should I expect?”

His eyebrows yank together as he looks at me. “From Ricky? The normal shit.”

I pull my lips to the side. “No, not Ricky.” I laugh and nudge his arm. “The service.”

He laughs. “Oh. Well, the usual for a Catholic Mass, but with a lot more added on to it. Before Mass starts, the priest blesses the Easter fire outside the church. He’ll light a new Paschal candle from that fire. The candle is then carried in and we all light candles from it until the whole church is lit up. There are a lot of readings. Um, during the service, the people who went through RCIA classes to join the Church will be baptized, confirmed and officially become members. It’s essentially graduation for the RCIA class. It’s inspirational to watch for some.” I nod. It’s a lot to take in.

We reach Bethany’s outdoor faucet and we rinse our feet and dry them off. Something is nagging me. Finn said he has a deep, dark secret that he has confessed to me. If it’s not about his abhorrence to getting married, then what the hell is it?

We walk over to the stairs, but I pivot and stop him.

With my arms stretched out, blocking his path, I stare at him, still slightly shorter even though I’m two steps up. He instantly becomes suspicious of me. His perceptive eyes are extra careful. “What?”

“What secret were you talking about earlier?”

I watch his throat muscles constricting and he glances away from me. “Finn, what is it? You said you tell me every time we’re together, but honestly, I don’t remember you telling me anything that I don’t already know.”

His eyes drift to the ground and he gruffly mutters, “Well, I guess you’ll have to pay more attention.”

“Finn, just tell me what it is.”

“Becks, I have. Repeatedly.” I watch his jaw move as he talks, his beard appears to have grown since this morning. I want to feel it against my lips again.

I hold onto the handrails and slowly shake my head in confusion. “I don’t even know what you’re talking about.”

Finn mumbles quietly to the ground, “Well, maybe someday you will.”

His head still bowed, I study the browns and golds intricately peppered throughout his thick hair. It reminds me of one of those paintings with colors splashed erratically onto the canvas. Finn’s hair is definitely a work of art. A natural wonder.

I blink and reply, “I doubt it. You’re being so mysterious about it now. How am I ever going to know what you’re talking about?”

He peers up at me, both deeply caught in each other’s stare. I try to draw the secret from his deep brown eyes, but they’re not giving any of Finn Wilder’s secrets away and apparently, neither is he; although he claims to have told me.

I hope he’s not hiding something major. And if he is, will it happily rock my world to the core or would it destroy me and drive us apart?

I’m absolutely curious, yet deathly afraid to find out which one it is.

CHAPTER 13

The anxiety about what the service is going to be like hits me in the gut like a sledgehammer. As Finn pulls my car into the parking lot, I glance out the window to the gray-shingled, white building. I lick my lips, faintly tasting the ocean’s saltiness, which does nothing to soothe my apprehension. I’ve wanted him to invite me to go to Mass with him since we started dating three years ago. Why didn’t I consider that I’d feel like this actually going to one?

After our beach jaunt, we saw Bethany sitting on the deck, doodling an elaborate floral design on a notepad using a multitude of colorful pens. When she looked up at me, she had a weird smile on her face. Yet, that’s Beth: full of little surprises and good-natured sentiments. At first, I thought the look was because of my peek-a-boo tits, but they were hidden underneath the towel.

We had packed up our things since we didn’t know where we’d be staying for sure tonight. Finn stayed true to his word and didn’t try to have sex with me before leaving, which kind of shocked me.

Heading back to Dover to Julie’s house, even in separate cars, I could tell he was brooding just by the way he drove. He didn’t try to race me to the finish, that’s for sure, as he actually drove near the speed limit. I wonder how he drives when he has his police officer BFF riding shotgun.

When we arrived at his mother’s, he ignored anyone standing in the way and went straight upstairs to his room, leaving me gaping at his brusqueness from the bottom of the staircase. Julie tentatively walked into the foyer and I promptly hugged her as she cried. I told her that I wasn’t sure how long Finn needed, but to give him some time. I also warned her that he doesn’t want to talk about it yet, leaving out his opening up to me, not wanting to hurt her feelings.

Julie said she wanted to go with us to church; however, she thought maybe that would anger Finn and he’d leave not only church, but the house as well. Simone had gone out with a friend for the day, so she wasn’t around to plead or argue with her brother either, which is probably a good thing.

It’s now dusk. I look around and see people making their way to a large fire burning in front of the building.

“Shit. I must’ve spaced out when you told me why in the hell we had to drive to Maryland to go to Mass,” Ricky complains from the backseat.

Finn sighs and warily repeats his earlier explanation. “I told you that my mother had us attend this church because my aunt Reggie goes here. We used to drive here every week for Mass. It’s not
that
far.”

“Right. I would’ve skipped.”

Finn grumbles to the windshield, “Well, that wasn’t an option back then.” He yanks the door handle and hurriedly exits the car, striding over to my side as I step out. When I shut the door, he frowns at me. What did I do
now
? Is it my dress? He didn’t say much about it before we left. He just stared at me, but didn’t make any comment—negative or otherwise. Glancing down to make sure my boobs are definitely not on display, I’m reminded that it is a cute dress, having a white V-neck with a pretty, floral print. The skirt is flared, so it’s not clingy and it floats over my legs. I also wore my dark pink sweater cardigan, unbuttoned, since it’s breezy tonight. The sweater also serves to hide the love bite Finn gave me last night. I left my hair down and used Simone’s curling iron to give it some personality.

Looking around the parking lot, Finn grabs my hand as Ricky finally starts following us. Finn is striking in gray slacks, a light blue, long-sleeved dress shirt and a gray tie, though it’s never his clothes that draws attention to him. It’s the confident way he carries himself that constitutes his overall sexiness. I think this version of him, the private one—
my
version, not the outgoing, public Finn—is more relaxed, which makes him even hotter. Even Finn’s hair is a stylish mess, which makes me smile. He knows I like it that way. I hate when his hair is forced into place. It doesn’t suit him at all. Whenever I do see him after work, the first thing I do is run my fingers into it, unstyling it to my preference.

As we walk, I reach up and pat Finn’s gray tie, feeling his key necklace under his shirt. He gives me a bewildered look when I smile at him.

Officer Tesco even cleaned up pretty well in black pants, a long-sleeved, beige dress shirt adorned with a black, beige and tan striped tie. I’m actually impressed since I usually see him in torn jeans and an old T-shirt, or recently, his police uniform. Even his hair is combed. Ricky’s mop top is forever a mess, fashionable or not. Most of the time, he wears a baseball cap or his police hat to hide the unruliness, but that doesn’t take anything away from his appeal. In fact, I think it somehow enhances it.

I stroll between Finn and Ricky on the sidewalk leading up to the church. Taking my hand out of Finn’s, I link my arms with his and Ricky’s. “Well, look at me being escorted by two very handsome guys. What a lucky girl I am.”

Finn scowls at me. “Don’t you mean one
handsome sportscaster and an average-looking cop?” One thing Ricky Tesco is not is
average
. With his dark bronze skin, devilish brown eyes, tall, lean frame, wavy, black hair, Ricky is able to arrest women not just with his handcuffs. He is yet another handsome son of a bitch that I know, but not more so than my Finnigan, of course. Even so, Ricky’s smile alone has gotten him into trouble, as Finn had filled me in regarding Ricky’s past exploits; though, I pray Finn would never cross the line Ricky did. Ricky is as much of a flirt as Finn is, but he apparently has the lure of a badge and uniform to go with it, being irresistible to women. Evidently, Ricky takes his self-proclaimed title of “Ponch 2.0” a little too seriously.

Peering over my head, Ricky taunts Finn. “No way, man! She did mean one: me. You have a face only that one freak could love.”

I swing my head to Ricky. “Who are you talking about?”

Finn snaps, “Thanks a lot, Tesco.”

Ricky grins and drops his mirthful brown eyes to my face, nodding in Finn’s direction. “Your hot stud told me about this girl back in high school who used to have this monster crush on him. She would follow him around, put notes in his locker, watch him at baseball practice, stare at him at lunch… Creepily mooning over him every day.” He looks above my head at Finn. “What else, Wilder?”

Finn growls back at him, “I’m going to punch you.”

Ricky laughs. “At
church
? I’m pretty sure that’s a big no-no. Especially on Easter and
especially
a cop.”

I whip my head to Finn. “You didn’t tell me about that girl.”

He shrugs, looking straight ahead. “What’s there to tell? She liked me and wouldn’t stop following me around.”

“You didn’t…” I widen my eyes, hoping he understands what I’m asking, “and then dump her, did you?” Was she one of his previous
five? I’m trying to be respectful, being that we are in front of a church, but I just have to know.

He immediately laughs that notion off. “No.”

“Did you even like her or want to go out with her?”

He shakes his head; a frown
submerging his smile as he testily glances at Ricky for bringing up the subject. “Um no. She wasn’t even cute.”

For some reason, I feel sad for the girl because of Finn’s unkind attitude. She probably had feelings for him and he laughed about it with his friends, like he’s doing now. I hope he didn’t make fun of her to her face, at least, and make her cry. “That’s so sad. That could’ve been me, you know.”

He glances down at me. “No. You were always cute. I saw the pictures.” Is that all that matters? If I was cute?

“Please say that you didn’t make fun of that girl, embarrassing her.”

He winces and appears to be somewhat regretful. “Sort of. It became a joke, though. Everyone on my team would tease me relentlessly about her being my biggest fan and my girlfriend. It got on my nerves, Becks. So I did say things to her to try and make her go away. I didn’t really want to hurt her feelings. I just wanted her to leave me alone.”

“So, if I were ugly, then we wouldn’t be together?”

Ricky blows out a huff of air and laughs. “Wilder doesn’t date ugly girls.”

Finn says crossly, “I’m warning you,
officer
.”

Ricky scoffs at Finn. “Threating a cop
again
.”

I angle my head back and forth from Ricky to Finn. “Does that mean I’m not
that
ugly?”

Ricky snorts and pretends—maybe—to check me out. “You’re do-able.” Finn unlinks his arm from mine and reaches behind me to punch Ricky solidly on the arm. Almost forgetting that we’re in front of a church, Ricky shouts, “Sh—oot!”

Finn grips me tighter with his arm, pulling me closer to him. “I warned you. Now, step away from my girlfriend.” Even if Finn is in a bitter mood, I know he’s joking with Ricky. If there is one man Finn trusts with me, it’s Ricky Tesco. Those two are extremely close.
How
close, though? What secrets of Finn’s is Ricky keeping?

“Hot diggity dog, Wilder! What’s up your caboose?” I laugh at his attempt to be chaste.

Finn doesn’t answer him as we approach the fire. There is a faint, but distinctive-smelling, perfumed smoke wafting through the air.

Finn was in a relatively good mood when we left, having avoided his mother, but during the car ride here, the dark clouds started rolling in again. Ricky was the one frequently talking the whole way, even though he had an inattentive audience.

Finn leads us over to a big cardboard box set on a square card table filled with thin, milky-white candles with paper disks around them. He grabs three and hands one to me and then one to Ricky. We go and stand at the edge of the crowd. I can’t really see anything since there must be a height requirement to belong to this particular church. I look up at the towering men next to me. Ricky is slightly taller than Finn, but Finn is more muscular, which is unexpected since Ricky is a cop and just as athletic as Finn.

It seems the lighting service hasn’t started yet, so people are chatting with each other. Finn slides his fingers between mine and tugs on my hand, making me step closer to him. I peek up at him with a smile, but glancing down at me, he doesn’t return the sentiment. Why does he always seem to be mad at me? I hope he isn’t jealous of me talking to Ricky. Ricky is married and not even my type.

“Finn Wilder?” Finn turns as a man walks towards him, holding his hand out. Finn lets go of my hand to shake his hand. I can’t hear anything else over the rumbling of people mingling around us. He seems to know the guy, not as a random Finnatic. Finn has his back to me as they talk, as if I’m not even here. So, he’s not going to introduce me now? We’re back to this again? He vowed to me in bed he wouldn’t do this to me anymore.  The rejection stings, but I don’t want to nag him about trivial things when he’s going through a difficult time. Why should my damned feelings matter anyway? They didn’t seem to bother him before our fight at the kite festival.

I scan the people around us and shudder from the light wind, crossing my arms to close my cardigan more. His attitude about keeping me a secret has to change. If we need to have another talk, then so be it; however, I know this isn’t a good time for that. But honestly, how long am I going to have to walk on eggshells around Finn, or stay hidden in the shadows while he lives alone in the spotlight?

I face Ricky and furtively pull him a few steps away from the crowd. I whisper, “Has Finn said anything about dumping you last night?”

He puts a hand on his hip and shakes his head, his small, silver hoop earrings gleaming from the overhead lights on the sidewalk. “No, but I understand. I told him to go.”

“Why? He should’ve stayed at the house with Simone, at least. I still feel bad that he left you alone.”

Ricky shrugs like it’s not a big deal to him. “He didn’t want to stay. He wanted you.”

“Still.” I look over my shoulder to check on Finn. I then say to Ricky, “He said he was upset.”

He scoffs. “Upset? Right. That word doesn’t quite fit what he was yesterday when we came back and you were gone. He
lost
it.” Ricky’s eyes flick above my head and then back down to my face. “He broke all the family pictures on his mother’s mantle. Then, he took the big family picture that was hanging above the fireplace and threw it
into
the fireplace, smashing it. I had to wrestle him to the couch to calm him down.”

“All that because of the divorce?”

“No. He was actually being semi-reasonable about that by the time we got back, but when he saw that your car was gone… I guess he piled that on top of his anger with his mom and went ballistic.”

Stunned, I fold my arms again to stave off the breeze and my nerves, remembering not to break my candle in half. “I don’t even know what to say.”

“He thought you went back to Richmond. We were going to leave to go home right then, but Chrishelle told him where you were and why.”

“I bet he only upset his mom and sisters even more.”

Ricky nods. “Yeah. Chrishelle and Simone were crying and his mother was begging him to calm down. I can’t believe any of the neighbors didn’t hear the fighting. If I was a cop responding to that call and that was my jurisdiction, I would’ve had to arrest him, Hadley.” He shakes his head and looks at the ground. “I can’t imagine having to do that to him. It was weird enough with him in the backseat of my cruiser Sunday night and he wasn’t even being arrested.”