Dark Chaos (# 4 in the Bregdan Chronicles Historical Fiction Romance Series) (87 page)

“Of course, dear,”  Thomas said instantly.  His expression said he knew something was troubling her, but she knew he would believe it was just the impending battle and her worry about Robert. 

“It was wonderful to see you again, Jeremy.  I hope you’ll return soon.”

“Good night, Carrie,” Jeremy responded.  “Thank you for a wonderful evening.”

Janie smiled at her.  “I’ll be up in just a little while.”

Carrie smiled back at her and knew Janie was giving her time to be alone in the room they shared when Robert was away fighting.  Both of them appreciated the comfort it provided, but Janie would know she needed time to think.

Carrie sank down onto the windowseat, grateful for the soft spring air wafting in and almost able to block out the sounds of carriages, trains, and industry that kept the city awake twenty-four hours a day now.  So much was racing through her mind and heart.

Carrie’s mind flew back to the day when she had discovered that Rose - her young slave girl she had grown up with  and who had become her best
friend, was actually her
aunt
– the result of her grandfather’s raping Old Sarah, Rose’s mother.

That same day not too many years ago she had discovered Rose was a twin, but that her brother, born white, had been sold as a slave by her father to protect her grandfather.

Carrie and Rose had been able to find paperwork that said who he had been sold to, but they also found paperwork that showed he had been taken to an orphanage and then adopted by a white family who knew of his heritage but who would raise him as a white boy.

It wasn’t until Carrie, back on the plantation the winter before, had discovered old family photos and realized Jeremy Anthony, whom she had met for just a few minutes, was the spitting image of her grandfather at that age. 

When she had brought the picture to Pastor Anthony, he had admitted he had known all along and then asked her to keep his secret.  He asked her to promise she wouldn’t reveal Jeremy’s true identity.  He was afraid of what it would do to the young man who had grown up white.  He didn’t want the prejudice and hatred he saw aimed at his congregation every day aimed at his son.

Knowing how desperately Rose wanted to meet her twin, Carrie had tried to change the pastor’s mind.  In the end, she had simply told him she didn’t know what she would do, but that she thought he was underestimating his son and that Jeremy deserved to know the truth.

She felt she didn’t have to make a decision yet because the war was still separating her from Rose.  She had helped Rose and Moses escape through the Underground Railroad - sending them to Aunt Abby in Pennsylvania.  As far as she knew, that’s where Rose still was.  She knew she wouldn’t see her again until this crazy war had ended.

To walk in and find Jeremy in her parlor had been quite a shock.  To watch the mutual respect and affection he held with her father was amazing.  Only
she
knew they were actually half brothers. 

Everything in her wanted to reveal the truth.  She had promised her father to never lie to him again about
anything
.  But then Pastor Anthony’s fearful eyes as he begged her to keep the secret rose in her mind.  Carrie pressed her forehead against the window as her feelings battled through her heart.

Suddenly she shook her head and pulled back to look north.  She didn’t have to make the decision tonight.  She just wanted to send her love and thoughts to Robert tonight…

Her brave, wonderful husband was part of an army that was woefully outnumbered and pitifully equipped.  She already knew thousands of men would die or be horribly mutilated. So far, Robert kept coming home to her.  Would he make it through another battle?  Carrie groaned and clinched her fists, her heart reaching out to fill Robert with her love.  It was all she could do, but it certainly wasn’t enough.

Then her mind turned to Moses.  Rose must be worried sick for her husband as well.  Was Moses still a spy?  Was he now fighting like the tens of thousands of free blacks and former slaves that had swarmed into the Union Army after the Emancipation Proclamation?  Would he and Robert try to kill each other tomorrow?

Carrie groaned and pushed away the tears flowing down her cheeks.  She heard the door open and close, and then she felt Janie’s hand on her shoulder.  “It’s starting again,” she said brokenly.

“I know,” Janie said softly.  “But we’ve learned how to do this, Carrie.  We can’t look past just this moment, and then the next moment.  We’ll simply deal with whatever comes.”

Carrie nodded, gaining comfort from her strength, while knowing Janie was saying it as much to herself as she was to her friend.  Whether it was tomorrow or the next day, the battle would start, the hospitals would fill, and they would once again give their all to save lives. 

         
Janie settled down with her on the windowseat, and they both looked north. 
Would tomorrow be the day?

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The
Bregdan Principle
 

Every life that has been lived until today is a part of the woven braid of life.  It takes every person’s story to create history.  Your life will help determine the course of history. 

You may think you don’t have much of an impact.  You do.

Every action you take will reflect in someone else’s life.

Someone else’s decisions.

Someone else’s future.

Both good and bad.

The Bregdan Chronicles

Storm Clouds Rolling In 
1860 – 1861

On To Richmond  
1861 – 1862

Spring Will Come 
1862 – 1863

Dark Chaos

1863 – 1864