Dark Citadel (16 page)

Prince trotted back. She stopped to pet him and frowned at the ugly gray sleeve of her sweatshirt. As a new fizzy person, she really should shine up her test tube. She looked down at herself and her baggy gray sweats, then thought about the ankle-length dress lying on the bed for school. Pretty pathetic. Maybe if she didn’t dress like an escapee from a nunnery, she would stop thinking of herself that way. Time to go shopping.

* * * * *

On Friday evening, Kari picked up the ringing phone. “Hello.”

“Kari, this is Buck.”

“Oh. Um. Hi.” She sighed. There must be people who enjoyed going out on Friday evenings, but all she wanted to do was curl up in jammies, eat popcorn, and enjoy a mindless movie. After a week of attempting to teach teenagers, the last thing she wanted was to have a conversation, especially an awkward one. “What’s up?”

“We’ve never had that talk you promised,” he said. “How about I come over? We can discuss what’s going on.”

“Ah, that won’t work, Buck. I’m beat.” All right, the polite thing would be to say she was sorry, but she wasn’t.

A pause. “Are you still mad at me for Monday? I said I was sorry.”

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Apparently the discussion would be now. She sat down at the kitchen table and tried to prepare herself. “I’m not mad.”

“Well, good. Then I’ll pick you up for the last class tomorrow around eight.”

Maybe she needed to learn to be less polite. Submissive to one man didn’t mean that everyone else could walk all over her. “No. Um. I like you, Buck, but I don’t want to date anymore.” There. That was plenty blunt. She immediately felt guilty.

“Are you dating that Dom from the club? Is that why you don’t want to see me anymore?” His voice held a thread of bitterness.

“I’m sorry, but that’s not your business,” she said, striving for the gentle-but-firm tone she used with nosy students who wanted to know about her personal life.

“Kari, that guy’s not good for you. I can tell,” he said. “I don’t like the way he’s got you behaving.”

“I appreciate your concern, but it really is my business.” There had to be a way to get off the phone.
Lie
. “Sorry, Buck, but I’ve got another call coming in. I have to go.

Bye.”

She punched the End button. Hopefully, he’d never remember that she didn’t have call waiting.
Bad, bad Kari
.

* * * * *

Saturday evening, Kari set the phone down with a loud sigh. Darn it. No—
damn
it!

The auto mechanic had been very apologetic, but the part for her car wouldn’t be in until Monday morning. No car till then.

She dropped onto her comfy floral couch and leaned her head back. It wasn’t a total disaster. Carol could take her to school on Monday, and she didn’t have any place she needed to be this weekend.

Except the Shadowlands.

“Well, Prince, looks like it’s you and me tonight.”

Setting his head on her knees, the shepherd looked up at her with big brown eyes, perfectly content to have her at home. She stroked his soft ears and sighed. She’d been off and on about returning to the Shadowlands, but now that she couldn’t go, she felt a definite letdown. No BDSM stuff. No Master Dan.

Rising, she paced across her living room. She looked at her wrists, remembering the weight of the cuffs and the erotic feeling of helplessness when Sir had strapped her onto that sawhorse thing. How he’d pinned her hips down as he thrust into her, so big and hard… She shivered as her body roused, craving that sensation again. All those sensations.

Still, she needed to be practical. Over the past couple of days, reality had slowly crept back. Although bondage might be interesting, it wasn’t exactly something a person did forever…was it?

90 Cherise Sinclair

She reached the end of the room and turned. How long could a person indulge in…
exotic
sex? Hmm. When Jessica had talked about Master Dan being a member of the club, she’d said
years
. And that older couple, Martha and Gerald, had been together for twenty years. They looked perfectly content. Not depraved or anything. So, people
could
do it for years.

Would she want to? Heat ran through her at the thought. What would it be like to be actively interested in sex instead of putting up with it? What if, after an evening of reading or watching TV, her man ordered her to strip and bend over the arm of the couch for his use? Would that change her life? The instant dampness of her pussy gave her the answer.

Master Dan said she was wired to need domination for true satisfaction. A sexual submissive. She wrinkled her nose. That submissive word still sounded awfully distasteful. But facts were facts. She’d gone to the Shadowlands to test the hypothesis that bondage and domination aroused her. Her experiment, although not done to anything resembling scientific standards, had proven exactly that.

Knowledge gained, new problems discovered. Did she want to pursue this further?

She snorted.
Darned right
. Not that she could do anything about it tonight.

Ruffling Prince’s fur on the way past, she kept pacing. Couldn’t do anything about Master Dan either, now could she? Her introduction to the lifestyle might have been completely different if she’d had a different instructor. Sir was…something. All those muscles to run her hands over, the firmness of his grip on her body, the assured authority. His deep, rough voice. Just thinking of him made her burn.

Would he wonder why she wasn’t there tonight? Would he miss her? She shook her head and sighed. Doubtful. With all those subs around, he didn’t lack for female attention. Yeah, he wouldn’t give her a second thought when she didn’t show. Even if she had been able to attend the last class tonight, he’d made it clear their time together was over. The jerk.

He didn’t want anything permanent; he wanted his dead wife. So it was just as well that her car was hospitalized.
Really
.

Darn it
.

Look on the bright side. By staying home, she wouldn’t run into Buck.

Prince whined, reminding her of her petting duties, and she slipped to the floor to hug him. “Buck won’t be coming back here again.” Prince hadn’t liked Buck at all. “I should have listened to you about him, huh?”

In total agreement, Prince licked her face and leaned against her, leaving hair all over her new red tank top and jeans.

She planted a kiss on top of his furry head. “So did you notice? I’ve got cleavage.

And my legs are pretty good too, for that matter.” Instead of trying to hide her body, she was finding ways to showcase it and enjoy it. Yesterday, the other teachers had been surprised, then effusive with compliments over her new look.
Thank you, Master
.

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“Well, buddy, let me get you some supper and—” Kari stopped. Oh, heck, how could she have forgotten? Jessica expected her to show up early so they could chat. Sir might not miss her, but Jessica would. Kari grabbed the phone again and carried it to her desk. Pulling out a copy of the Shadowlands forms, she found the phone number.

Would someone be in the office now?

“Shadowlands.” A man’s voice. Low. Familiar. One of the DMs?

“Um. This is Kari Wagner. I was supposed to meet Jessica there tonight. Is there any way I can get a message to her?”

“She is here, Kari. Allow me to call her to—”

“No, there’s no need. Can you just tell her that I won’t be able to make it?”

There was a pause. “Is there a problem, little one? Can I help?”

Her breath caught. This was no DM; it was Master Z. “No. No, really. My car’s in the shop, that’s all.”

“And is your lack of transportation good…or bad?”

The insightful question silenced her. “I…” She sighed. “A little of both, I guess. It’s all so different, you know?”

“Kari.” His deep voice sharpened. “Did you have a problem with Master Dan?”

Just hearing Sir’s name sent blood surging into her face and elsewhere. “No,” she managed to say, her words husky. “No, he was—”
Wonderful. Scary. Intimidating. Too
much for an inexperienced schoolteacher
. “He was fine.”

A chuckle. “I am happy to hear it. I’ll give Jessica your message, that you’ll be enjoying a quiet evening at home.”

“Thank you,” Kari said glumly and clicked the phone off. Just hearing a Dom’s voice with that edge of command brought back all the reasons she wanted to continue.

She yearned to hear Sir tell her what to do, to feel his hands holding her, to struggle and get nowhere.

But he wasn’t for her.

She shook her head.
Get over it
. She’d done what she’d set out to do, seen what it was all about. Returning to the Shadowlands would just give her pain, at least until Master Dan had lost some of his appeal. After that, she’d go back and meet someone else.

Until then, maybe she should return to her normal life and normal men. The thought was as appealing as planning to eat oatmeal for three meals a day. Forever.

Darn it
.

* * * * *

Dan drove out of the police station parking garage and turned toward home without any sense of pleasure. His body sagged against the car seat, his mind equally tired. Three hours waiting to be called as a witness, and then the perp settled, a new 92 Cherise Sinclair

form to fill out for snitch money. Dan’s partner wanted to go on vacation for a month, and who the hell would he end up with then? Some kid fresh from patrol?

Why hadn’t he chosen to be an accountant? A quiet office and numbers. No blood, no violence. Far fewer lies.
The paperwork would still suck
.

His cell phone rang, and he pulled off to one side of the freeway. Flipping the phone open, he glanced at the number displayed. The Shadowlands.

“Z? What’s up?”

“Not Z, Dan. This is Jessica.”

He blinked. Z’s sub? “What can I do for you?”

“Well. You know the beginner you were with this week? Kari?”

Knife-edged fear tightened his hand on the phone. “What happened? Is she all right?”

A huff of laughter. “Cops. You always imagine the worst. She’s fine. But her car isn’t. It’s in the shop.”

“She called for a ride?” That didn’t seem like the little sub. Unlike most women, she didn’t beg for release until he tormented her to the point where her brain shut off.

Very doubtful that she asked for help often, at least for herself.

“No, you idiot. She called to say she wouldn’t be coming. We were planning to meet early, and she wanted me to know.”

“Well, that’s good she called then.” Maybe he’d go tonight then, since she wouldn’t be there to mess with his emotions, to lure him into taking more,
giving
more than he wanted.

“Oh.” A pause. “Right. It’s good. Sorry to have bothered you.”

Dan frowned. Had Z’s little sub just said “stupid asshole” under her breath?

After pulling back into the heavy traffic, he flipped on the radio, tapping his fingers on the steering wheel to Emmylou Harris. The air off the gulf was briny and warm, the sun setting in a clear blue sky. He’d have time for a shower, maybe a fast bite, before leaving for the club.

She wouldn’t be there tonight
.

Dan turned the music up louder, ignored the bastard who cut in front of him to make an exit. Tampa drivers terrified the nation: macho Cubans mixing it up with aggressive East Coast drivers tailgating retired snowbirds going twenty miles below the speed limit. Driving was probably the most dangerous part of his job as a cop.

She wouldn’t be on the road; she didn’t have a car.
She wouldn’t be there tonight
.

Good. Very good. He didn’t need to see her again. Didn’t need any more reminders of her little whimpers right before coming, or the way her hot, soft mouth closed over him, or how her pussy would tighten around him, or—

He slowed to let a bus onto the freeway, breathed in the diesel fumes. Busload of kids, probably some sporting event at the school.

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She was a teacher. She’d be a wonderful teacher. He remembered how she’d tried to ease his mind about his carelessness: “
I forgive only if I get a kiss to make it all better,
Sir
.” The tender look in her eyes when she kissed him that first night. And—

Fuck. She just wouldn’t stay out of his head. He pulled off the freeway, flipped open the phone, and punched in the number.

“Shadowlands.” Z’s voice. Good thing it wasn’t Jessica.

“Give me her damn address, you sadistic bastard.”

94 Cherise Sinclair

Chapter Thirteen

Number thirty-three. Dan pulled into the driveway.

The twilight showed a two-story house, sky blue with sparkling white trim. Bright red and white flowers bloomed along the fence with more in pots on the wide porch.

Stepping up to the front door, he rang the doorbell.

When light footsteps sounded from inside, Dan berated himself again. He should stay away from her; she deserved better than what he could give. Dammit, he didn’t want anything more from a woman than some mutual satisfaction. Definitely no emotional involvement.

Yet something about her pulled at him. He should never have taken her under command, and he damned well shouldn’t be here today. Fuck, he was an idiot.

Hell, she might not even want to see him. He’d behaved like a real asshole on Wednesday. For the second time. What if she didn’t want to return to the Shadowlands? Or be with him?

He set a hand against the door frame. Only one way to find out. Any Dom worth his leathers could read a sub’s face. He’d soon know if the no-car reason she’d given Z

was an excuse.

The door opened, and he had his answer in the big blue eyes.

Surprise, delight, wonder, delight, worry
. “What are you doing here?”

He ran a finger down her cheek, unable to keep from touching her. “Jessica said you needed a ride.”

“I… You’re here to take me to the club? Really?”

“Do you want to go?” He watched her face, her open expressions. She was honest, inside and out. Did she know how rare that was? After years on the force, he’d grown cynical, begun to believe everyone lied. But not this little sub.