Dark Love (The Two Sides of Me Book 3) (22 page)

“Goodnight, baby,” I say and wander to the bathroom to pee and take my sleeping pills. When I return to bed Yes and No are still there purring loudly as they sleep; only barely acknowledging my presence when I snuggle in with them, raising their heads and peering at me through narrow, sleepy golden slits. “Night guys.” I reach out and stroke one and then the other before surrendering to sleep.

I wake to the feeling of the mattress dipping behind me and cool air rushing in under the duvet. Initially, I think nothing of it, Evan comes to bed late all the time, sliding in behind me and warming me with the heat of his body. Realization pulses through my body suddenly, and I bolt upright, warm familiar hands slide around my waist.

“Shush baby, it’s just me,” Evan says. I reach
the bedside lamp and switch it on nearly knocking the damn thing over. Whipping around I’m brought
eye to eye with the man who stops my heart and stirs unexplainable emotions whenever we are in the same proximity.

“Wha!” I’m silenced with a finger against my lips as he pulls me into the curve of his body, spooning behind me, moaning softly into my neck.

“You left me again.”

“I..” Again I’m quieted when he slides his hand between my breasts and past my neck to cover my mouth with the tips of his fingers.

“Don’t tell me I should be in a hospital bed. Don’t tell me I need medication or monitoring because I don’t give a fuck about any of it. The only thing I need is you and for some reason unbeknownst to me, you keep leaving me when I fall asleep.” I squirm gently trying to free my mouth from his hand.”

“Uh uh uh, no talking, you talk too much; I need my wife not my nurse so shush.” He’s crazy, and this is proof. I purposely stop struggling, and he removes his hushing fingers from my mouth.

“I think Dr. Carmichael drilled too deep into your brain.” I feel his warm breath as he sighs, his lips smile against my neck. “Always with the smart mouth.”

“You would never let me out of bed if I were sick,” I say.

“I would never leave your side if you were sick,” he counters

“I was barfing in the trash, Evan, you really didn’t need me there infecting you. But apparently distancing myself from you was a waste of time; you’re going to get the flu, ya know.”

“You were throwing up?” He pulls his arm out from under mine to check my forehead. “You’re not hot.”

“Gee thanks, yea I know, it’s just my stomach. And you should be more concerned with yourself, you’re septic you know that’s serious, it could kill you!” I take advantage of his loosening grip, and when I turn to face him I notice he still has the IV that I started in his arm, he’s just unhooked himself from the fluids. I’m about to raise hell with him when I look into his usually bright green eyes and see despondence.

Frowning I cradle his face in my hands and smooth the worry from his brows with my thumbs. “What is it?” I ask.

“You keep saving me.”

“And you keep sabotaging me. Why can’t you stay in bed and listen to the doctors’ orders, rest and stay calm?” He is quiet, and I expect he has no answer to my question, no reasonable answer anyway.

“I don’t like taking orders. And I can’t get well without you, I crave your presence like an alcoholic craves a drink, I need you with me, Mia.” Closing my eyes I bite my lip, he has a way of defusing my anger and making me feel guilty for wanting perfectly reasonable things. He can also melt my heart and make me feel adored and cherished at the same time.

“I’m always here for you, even if I’m not directly in front of you I will always be close by and if not you will know where I’m at. From this moment forward, no matter what, I’ll make sure you always know exactly where I am, will that help?”

“No.”

“No? I thought that was what you wanted?”

“No, that is not what I wanted. I need you with me, I don’t want to merely know where you are, and I want to be able to see your face whenever I open my eyes.”

“That sounds like codependency.”

“Mia, it’s always been this way. The moment you came home from the hospital with me, you have been the only medication that heals me;
nothing else can do what you do.” The look in his eyes bore a hole through my heart, holding mine with such intensity and need that I begin to understand. I need him
too, but his needs stem from abandonment and deeply buried fear, mine are simpler but no less powerful.

“I’m here, I promise. Always. But you have to promise me something in return.”

“Anything.”

“Do what the doctor tells you to do.” He nods mouthing the words thank you as he pulls me in tight against his chest. “Evan?”

“I know what you want to talk about, actually I know all of the things you want to talk to me about.”

“You do?” I’m not even sure what I want to be discussing, so I’m really interested in his take on things.

“First of all, we are going home. As soon as Dr. Carmichael gives me the green light to fly we will be leaving.” Well, that was defiantly not what I was thinking, but good to know. “And second I will continue with whatever treatment is necessary but only from this bed, next to you.” Now that’s what I wanted to talk about. “That’s good because I was considering IV sedation if you wouldn’t.”

“Yes, I would not put it past you, lady.” He snorts.

“Anything else I want to talk about?” I ask

“Yes, two more things actually. We are still going on vacation; I want to go home first, but I have informed Isaac to continue making arrangements.” Well, shit, he’s already been talking with Isaac, and I’m assuming he’s still alive if he’s planning our vacation so he must have kept our argument to himself.

“He told me, Mia.” Every muscle in my body goes on lockdown; I stiffen in his arms and dig my fingernails into his skin causing him to wince. What exactly did Isaac tell him; surely he hasn’t shared his feelings for me, no that can’t be it? He must have only told him about the warning; I’m playing dumb until I can figure out how much he knows.

“Told you what?”

“Really, Mia? Feigning ignorance? I thought you would have jumped at the chance to drill me about my past.” Ok, so he knows that much, now I have a place to start.

“I don’t want you to tell me anything you’re not comfortable sharing, Evan; I’m not even sure I want to know who you used to be.” LIAR! I do want to know, maybe it’s stupid but I need to know who his enemies are, who to be afraid of and who to trust. He inhales deeply and when he releases the breath he chuckles.

“You are the worst liar, Mia; we need to work on that, baby.”

“I am not lying!”

“Yes you are and that’s all right. I have always known you were curious to a fault. I know he was spooked when he saw the handcuffs on the headboard, he’s been scared for you all along, and I also know he has a crush on you, Mrs. Lawson. So let us be completely honest and get it all out there so we can move on, shall we?”

He told Evan? Is he insane? After seeing Evan nearly beat Dr. Carter to death, I can’t imagine him being so stupid.

“Is he…ok?”

“Yes Mia, he’s fine.”

“But why? You almost killed Dr. Carter for telling me the same things.”

“Isaac is different, I care for him and he’s been with me for a very long time. I know he would never act on his feelings for you, he is too loyal. Dr. Carter was a wolf baiting his prey with the sins of my past he wanted you for himself, he was trying to take what’s mine. I can’t fault Isaac for falling for you, you’re irresistible with your innocent aura and compassionate nature, your soft as silk skin.” He begins lightly tracing my figure, brushing the back of his fingers from my neck down my arm. “These luscious curves.” He continues over the hump of my hip and slips his hand inside my pajama bottoms, palming my ass. “And this ass, mmmm, fuck Mia, no man in his right mind could resist this ass.”

I can feel him harden against that very ass. Oh no, we can’t go there, he promised! I remove his hand from its location and wrap his arm around my waist safely away from any part of me he might find enticing, who am I kidding? He finds every part of me enticing as I do him.

“You promised.” I remind him

“Technically I nodded but yes I will agree to follow orders, for you, this once if you take off these hideous pajama pants.”

Oh my God, will he ever quit?! “Evan!”

“What? They are truly awful; you have thousands of dollars’ worth of night clothes yet you choose these ugly cotton plaid things?” He snaps the waistband of my pants.

“I wanted to be comfortable, and these are comfortable.”

“Do you think you could be comfortable in silk instead?”

I roll my eyes and pull my knees up; lifting my hips I scoot out of my warm pajamas and throw them out onto the floor next to the bed, what a snob! “There. Satisfied?”

“It’s a start.”

“Ok enough! I’m keeping up my end of the bargain; I’m here, and I’m not leaving; now I’m calling Isaac to have him bring your IV pole up here!”

“Isaac isn’t here; I sent him to Dominus. But Mr. Saint is around, you can call him.”

“I’ll do just that then.” I grab my phone and call Mr. Saint who promptly answers and agrees to bring me what I need from the mini hospital, which reminds me… When I hang up, I tap him on the arm for his attention.

“Why do you call the little hospital the Chamber?” The mood changes and I sense that I’ve hit a sensitive spot from his past.

“You really don’t want to know these things, Mia.”

“Yes, I do, I need to.”

“You might feel different about me if you know.” I turn onto my back so I can see his silhouette in the shadows.

“I will never feel anything but love for you.” He moans before giving me his explanation.

“Sometimes people who didn’t cooperate with us… with me…were brought to the Mini hospital as you call it to be persuaded.”

“How?” His lips tighten into a straight line. “How did you persuade them, Evan?”

“It’s a medical facility, Mia.” Oh God he tortured people down there? In this house? Now I’m glad he’s chosen not to recuperate down there, I don’t think I’ll ever set foot in that room again. “See, you don’t want to know the details.”

“I still don’t understand why you call it the chamber.” He fills his cheeks with air and slowly blows it out while staring at the ceiling before answering.

“It’s air tight, Mia. If someone was not convinced to see things my way they were left there and…”

Oh no, no, no…chamber, as in
gas
chamber. I inhale sharply when I realize what he’s trying to say without actually saying it. “I’ll be right back.” I bolt for the bathroom, nausea smacks me from out of nowhere, I drop to my knees and wretch into the toilet. Maybe I can’t handle knowing the sins of my husband's past. I grip the sides of the seat and feel his hands gathering my hair, smoothing it away from my face. I try to shoo him away unsuccessfully.

“God damn it, Mia, let me help you. I told you you didn’t want to know, fuck!” It’s over now, but I need a minute to collect myself, panting and gulping air I wait to be sure there will be no more.

“Come on, baby, let’s get you back to bed,” he urges.

“I need to brush my teeth, I’ll be there in a minute,” I say weakly hoping for a few moments alone.

“Are you sure?” I nod without looking at him and reach up to give his hand that is resting on my shoulder a quick reassuring squeezes. “All right, leave the door open, you’re a fainter, you know.” Humph yea that I am. He reluctantly leaves me alone in the bathroom to brush my teeth. What is wrong with me? I don’t react to shocking information by vomiting, fainting yes, but not vomiting.

Although I’ve never had someone tell me they’ve killed people in their gas chamber basement before either, so there’s that.

I look myself over in the mirror, I look fine, tired maybe but not particularly ill, maybe I should make an appointment to see a doctor? What am I thinking? We have a doctor right here in the house. I’ll talk to him tomorrow if I’m not better by then. When I step out of the bathroom, I find Evan sitting up in bed, his arms propped on his bent knees with a far off look in his eyes.

When he realizes I’ve returned he crooks his finger at me to join him, I pad to the edge of the bed and hesitate. “Better?”

“Yea.”