Darkness Calls (22 page)

Diana watched as a stunned look crossed Rudy's face. He remained upright for what seemed like long seconds before falling to the floor. She holstered her piece, and she and David ran over. David radioed instructions to those outside as she knelt beside Rudy and felt for a pulse.

There was none.

She bowed her head and closed her eyes, glad that it was over. But Rudy's self-inflicted punishment wasn't enough somehow to make up for the pain of all of the victims. To make up for what he had done to Ryder.

Rising, she glanced at her partner, and as his gaze met hers, she knew he felt the same way.

I
t took more than three hours to finish the preliminary work at the crime scene. She still had more to do to close the file for the case, including interviews with Rudy's remaining family. She dreaded the thought of speaking to his grandparents, if they were still alive, because of the suffering it would bring to a family that had already had more than its share of heartache.

With Rudy's body on the way to the morgue for examination and identification, and her team cataloging everything at the scene, she excused herself, explaining to the ADIC, David and Peter Daly that she wanted to check on Ryder before it got too late.

She headed back to Ryder's apartment and Sebastian was still there. He and Melissa were in the kitchen, making fresh cups of coffee. “Don't you think it's time you left,
hermanito?”

“What if Melissa needs more help?”

She held up her hand because she could see that if she pressed, he would get even more stubborn. “I'm here now.” She directed her next comment to Melissa. “How is he?”

Melissa rose and motioned for her to follow. As they walked to the stairs, Diana hesitated. “You've moved him to his room?”

“It took a little doing, but he was strong enough to walk with Sebastian's help. It seemed best since the windows there are treated and mine aren't.”

Diana told herself she could climb the stairs and face her demons, both literally and figuratively. It was what she had been telling herself for the last hour as she sat in the tail end of rush-hour traffic on FDR Drive. Now she had to put what she had decided into action, but somehow her feet weren't cooperating.

“Having second thoughts?”

Diana chuckled. “How about third and fourth thoughts, too?”

“You're not sure what you want to do?”

“I'm sure of what I'm going to do.” The problem was, she wasn't quite sure it was what she really wanted. What she really wanted was impossible and would only lead to even greater heartbreak farther down the road.

The other woman nodded and glanced up the stairs. “I know I have no right to ask this, but don't hurt him too badly.”

Her words cut Diana to the quick. “You don't think much of me, do you?”

“Actually, I think a great deal of you. I know you love him. But I also know you realize just how unrealistic anything between the two of you could be.”

“Freeing him up for you, right?” Diana said in anger, though she knew that wasn't the case.

Melissa looked past Diana and smiled at Sebastian. “Ryder and I have always been friends. And right now, I think my interests lie elsewhere. Let him down easy is all I ask.”

Taking a bracing breath, Diana convinced her feet to take the first step and then another and another until she was in the upper hall of Ryder's duplex. The door to his room was open and she saw him lying in bed, his chest bare except for the bandages and the comforter.

He opened his eyes and smiled. “You came back.”

Diana sat on the edge of the bed. “I promised you that I would. I keep my promises.”

Ryder laid his hand on her thigh. She took hold of it and held it tightly. He was warm once again and it was clear he was regaining strength. Although he remained pale, there was a faint stain of color in his cheeks. His hand was dry and lacked the sickly cold sweat that had bathed him earlier. Smiling, she reached out and brushed her hand through a wayward lock of hair that had drifted onto his forehead. “You're feeling better.”

“Give me a little time and I'll be back to normal.” He grinned, only there was a hint of fang, as if he was unable to control what he was right now.

She hadn't planned on getting into it so soon, but his comment and toothy grin gave her no choice. “But you're not normal, Ryder. You're not even human.”

“A part of me is, Diana. And that part—”

“Betrayed me. Betrayed my trust. Making love to me—”

“Was something I hadn't dared to dream about because in all the time I've been a vampire, I've never cared for anyone the way I care for you,” he replied, baring his soul to her in the hopes that she could accept his love.

She shook her head and released his hand. “A long time ago, after my dad died, I didn't care about what I did. And I drove people away because I couldn't deal with the pain that came from caring.”

Ryder understood what she had suffered. “You did what you had to do to survive.”

Her gaze locked with his and pain still shimmered there. “I swore I wouldn't let myself feel again. And then you came along and made me break that promise. Made me scared that if I lost you…”

“I love you, Diana.” He slowly eased himself up, wanting to be closer. It was painful. He groaned and a light sweat broke out at his slight movement.

She reached out to help him, placing her arm beneath his shoulder so he could raise himself into an upright position. Her actions brought them close, intimately close, and she lingered there for a moment. He ran his thumb over the flush of sudden color on her cheeks and she abruptly pulled away.

“You didn't care enough about me to tell me what you were,” she said softly, and looked away from him.

“Would you have believed me if I had?”

She stiffened her spine. “We'll never know.”

“Diana, before you, there wasn't anything sacred in my life. No trust. No honor,” he confessed, wishing he could convince her that he had done the only thing he could. That he hadn't meant to hurt her.

Diana recalled that there had been a time in her young life when she had felt there was nothing worth keeping her on this earth. It had taken a moment of extreme pain to make her realize how far she had sunk. With his many years of existence, Ryder must have suffered through more than one such time, until, at some point, he'd stopped caring. The man she had first met had been aloof, but slowly he had come to feel something for her. She had no doubt about that now, just as she had no doubt about the fact that she loved him. In a perfect world, that was all that mattered. But in the real world, was it enough?

“I'm not sure I can be what you live for, Ryder, because this thing between the two of us…”

“When I lay dying, you said you needed me. You made me feed for what? To rot away the rest of my existence without you?”

She gripped her hands tightly in her lap, fighting the urge to soothe his hurt. “In the alley, when you told me about yourself…You wanted to drive me away. You knew there couldn't be anything between us.”

“I did what I thought I had to, but I was wrong.” His answer confirmed what she had come to suspect.

“I couldn't watch you die. I did what I had to, as well,” she answered, and rose from the edge of the bed, knowing she had to leave before her determination wavered.

Ryder grabbed her hand and kept her close. “Don't go, darlin'.”

“I'm not sure I can stay, Ryder.”

“More than a hundred years ago, I was plunged into a world of darkness. Without my choice. Without any hope of escaping until you came along. You know what a world of darkness can be like. You let yourself slip into it when your dad died, and even though you think you escaped it, you never really did.”

She pulled her hand away and wrapped her arms around herself. “I did. I made a life for myself and—”

“You weren't living until you met me.” He realized he had struck home when she flinched.

“And what if you're right? What do we do about it?” she asked.

He leaned toward her, the movement costing him as pain ripped through the wounded parts of his body. “We live, Diana. Together. We share something so strong and sure that it'll fill every day with its light.”

With his words belief flared to life deep inside her. Belief in the possibility of a happiness such as she had never known, not even before her father died.

“It may take a little time for me to stop being angry with you,” she confessed.

He laughed harshly and settled back against the pillows. “I have all the time in the world.”

Easing onto the edge of the bed, she sat facing him. She cupped his cheek and smiled. “Well, that's good, because I plan on spending a lot of time with you.”

Joy mingled with disbelief on his face. “You know it won't be easy—loving me,” he replied, almost as if giving her another chance to leave. His concern for her made her earlier decision all the more clear.

“That
is
the easy part, Ryder. After all, the love we have for each other is more than most people ever get to share. As long as we have that love—”

“We won't ever regret it?” he questioned with an arch of his brow.

“I won't ever regret living again. Loving you,” she said, leaning forward and bringing her lips close to his. “Do you think you can handle a little of that loving now?”

He cupped the back of her head. “A little.”

Their kiss was joyful, filled with so many emotions, chief among them—happiness. It went on and on until they were both breathless. But as they eased from each other, they were both smiling broadly.

“I have to head into the office in a few hours to finish up the case. Do you mind if I stay?” she asked, but even as she said it, she was settling onto the bed beside him.

Ryder wrapped his arm around her and they slipped down until they were lying side by side. She eased her head onto his shoulder and carefully put her arm across his midsection. At his flinch, she would have pulled away, but he laid his arm across hers to keep her there.

“Ryder?”

He glanced down at her and their gazes locked.

“There's no amount of pain that would keep me from you, darlin'.”

She slid her leg over his thighs and softly said, “There's nothing that will ever keep me from you,
amor mio.
Nothing.”

 

Her heart pounded as she ran, her feet sinking into the soft sand beneath her feet. The roar of the ocean filled her ears, but above that loud susurrus was another. She bent at the waist as she drew in a choppy breath and listened.

Ryder was calling to her, wanting her to return to him. As she slowed her rough breathing, his aroma peppered her nose, bringing her body to life. She had no control over it, needing him.

Diana looked around, searching the wide-open space of the beachfront for him, her body glistening with sweat from her run and the heat and humidity of the day. Above her the sun was bright, stinging in its intensity.

She turned slowly and the warm lap of an errant wave swept over her bare feet. She dragged a toe through it, and as she did so, she saw him.

He was standing down the beach, dressed in black. His hand was outstretched, inviting her to join him.

It was a familiar dream, she thought as she woke. One that no longer ended badly.

She shifted and held on to Ryder. It had been more than a week since he had been injured, and he'd been healing, although slowly. That hadn't kept her from his sharing his bed.

He tightened his hold on her. “You okay?”

“Hmm,” she murmured, and cuddled closer, dropping a kiss over his heart. “I was just dreaming.”

He turned to face her, smiling sleepily. “Was it about me?” He eased his hand to the small of her back and dragged her close against him. His arousal was evident against the naked skin of her belly.

Mindful that he wasn't completely healed, she urged him onto his back, then straddled him. Bending her head, she kissed him hungrily and said, “What do you think?”

But he didn't get a chance to answer as she eased over him and took him inside her body, much as she had let him slip into her heart.

Ryder groaned and closed his eyes, but she said, “No, Ryder. Open your eyes.”

He did, and even through the dark of the night, she let her love drive away the animal within him.

The nightmares of her past had somehow become the dreams of her future. And she knew that as long as Ryder was with her, the light of their love would banish the darkness that had ruled their lives for far too long.