Darkness of Light (22 page)

Right then he spotted me. Pushing himself off the wall, he moved towards me. His body was so incredibly fit it couldn’t be hidden underneath his favorite worn-out jeans, which hung low enough that the top of his V-line just barely peeked out from under his shirt. My eyes were in an all-out war. They fought with staying locked on his V-line and getting caught, or going up to his gorgeous face. The humiliation of getting caught staring at that area again convinced me to move my eyes up. He wore an old, grey t-shirt, a navy blue hoodie, and some beat-up black combat boots. I just wanted to dive into him—he was comfort, safety, and pure intrigue all rolled into one.

I needed to stay strong, but it didn’t help when his eyes moved over my body with a look so primal, so raw, that my blood boiled. I knew I looked rough and wild—a night in jail after a bar fight did wonders for my appearance. My black, knee-high heeled boots, tight fitting jeans, and red leather jacket only added to the image. The animalistic way he looked at me made me want to act on my desires. 

“Miss, we need you to sign a few forms.” A female cop interrupted my carnal thoughts and motioned me over to one of the windows. I nodded, keeping my eyes on Eli as I waited for him. 

“Don’t start,” I warned as he walked up to me.

“Whatever do you mean, jailbait?” 

I sighed. “Yeah—it’s gonna be a long day.” 

His amusement quickly became serious when he studied my face. I turned my head away, trying to hide the cuts down the one side of my face and the black and blue bruise covering the other. Eli grabbed my chin and ran his thumbs over the wounds on my face, making my body zing. “What happened?” His eyes were a mix of concern, anger, and speculation. I could see the wheels in his brain going through what or who could have done this to me.

I pulled my chin free of his grip and headed over to the officer. I couldn’t tell Eli how foolish I had been, that just in the hope of seeing him or being close to someplace he might go had caused me to be a stupid moron. Eli stayed frozen in his spot, looking after me.

The woman looked over at Eli, and her stern look softened. “Mr. Dragen, are you the one who is taking responsibility for her?” 

“Yeah. Morning, Anita.” Eli winked and smiled at the woman. 

A slight blush fluttered over her mocha skin. “You just can’t seem to stay away, can you?” Anita’s stern voice was all fluff and no bite. You could hear the teasing affection under it.

“Not with you here.”

“Oh, you are such a tease.” Anita swished her hand at Eli. I felt like I had just walked into an alternate universe. Eli being charming? Anita was the kind of woman who could make grown men huddle in the corner in fear. Here she was, as smitten as a schoolgirl. My head whipped back and forth between them. 

“I’m doing the picking up today.” Eli nodded towards me. “What do you need me to do?”

Anita’s eyes became annoyed and stern when she looked over at me but softened the second they flicked back to Eli. “You know the drill, honey child. Just need to get your signature and information on these documents.” Anita pushed a pile of forms and papers toward Eli.

Fantastic.
I felt like it tied me even more to Eli. Yesterday he didn’t want me in his life, but when I needed him, he came running, no questions asked. After about ten minutes, we finished filling out and signing the stack of forms. 

“Bye, Anita, I’m sure I’ll see you soon.”

“You know I love seeing you, Eli, but try and stay out of trouble for a little while.”

“I’ll try,” he said, smiling. He squeezed her arm as we turned to go. “You know, I’ve never been in here voluntarily before,” Eli whispered in my ear as I collected my belongings.

“I find that so hard to believe,” I said dryly. 

“We should get out of here before Weiss feels my presence.” 

Eli herded me out the door. As we walked out, I looked over my shoulder. As if he actually had felt Eli’s presence, Weiss stood there watching us. He had assigned us together in the same facility, but seeing Eli pick me up from jail? I could see the wheels in his head turning with the misguided idea that he’d found the co-conspirator in my shenanigans—that Eli might have been the one helping me with the school explosions all along. His logic was once again wrong, but it didn’t matter. He would make the puzzle piece fit even if it didn’t fit the picture. I sighed. Weiss had something against Eli as well, but seeing us together would just make his theories become concrete evidence to him. He would come after us with the determination of a pit bull.

“So, are you going to tell me the reason you woke me up at five-forty-five in the morning to come bail you out of jail?” He reached into his pocket and dug out a package of baby wipes for me to clean the black ink off my fingers. Even a small gesture like that choked me up, and I longed to reach out and touch him. It was pointless to deny how I felt about him. 

“Let’s get out of here first.”

He nodded as he opened the Bronco door for me, and I climbed in. “Where to, jailbait?” he asked as he shut his door.

“You’re never going to let that go are you? You know, I am legal. I’m not really jailbait anymore.”

“Oh, believe me, you are the embodiment of bait.” 

We drove for a bit before he pulled off on a deserted dirt road, close to the waterfall. He turned off the ignition, and we sat in silence for a while.

“I want to thank you for coming to get me.” I stared at my hands, still partly stained with ink. “I’m indebted to you. I don’t even know how to begin to thank you. I know you don’t want to be friends with me anymore, but . . .” I couldn’t finish.

A low grunt came from Eli, making my head snap up. His fingers pinched the bridge of his nose, as if he had an unbelievable headache. His sigh was heavily loaded as he leaned his head back on the headrest and stared out the side window. The mood in the car was growing tense. “Em, why did you call me?” 

“Umm . . . I-I’m sorry I called and woke you up. I know I shouldn’t have. I just didn’t know who else to go to. I promise I won’t bother you aga—”

“I’ll stop you right there. I don’t give a shit you woke me up. I’m not mad you called. I just want to know
why
you did.”

“I-I don’t know, Mark’s gone and . . . I don’t know, you were just the first person I thought of. It was just automatic.”

“Don’t you find it a little odd?” 

I returned my focus to my hands. “Maybe I thought you’d understand more than anyone else.”

He huffed aggravatingly, swinging the door open and jumping out of the Bronco. I followed shortly behind him. He trudged through the grass. “So as this
person
you automatically called, who came down and bailed you out of jail without hesitation, I think I deserve to hear the story of why you were there.”

“You mean the person who retracted their friendship from me? Which is amusing since we really didn’t have one,” I spat in heated humiliation. 

We stood on opposite sides of the Bronco’s hood, as a volatile fury hummed between us. I was extremely stubborn, but I might have met my match.

“Fine,” I hissed, turning away and heading to the trail leading to the waterfall. He followed me with guarded reluctance. I walked in silence until I got to the footbridge. The sound of the thundering water soothed me. I kicked one of the wooden beams supporting the bridge. “So, where do you want me to start?”

“Try the beginning. It’s usually a good place.” 

I was going to be revealing more than I wanted, but I was tired of lying to myself. Whatever his reaction was, I would have to deal with it. 

“Last night was a downward spiral from the moment you walked away from me,” I whispered. I stole a glance at him, and quickly turned away. There was no way I could look at him through this. I wouldn’t be able to handle any rejection I might see in his eyes. “I tried to drown the pain, but it just wouldn’t go away. And, man, did I try. I was just so tired of being scared and alone. 

I left my friends at a concert. It felt claustrophobic so I had to get away. I don’t remember getting there but I found myself at Mike’s Bar.” A low guttural sound came from him. “Please, just let me get through this.” I took a deep breath. “I know it was stupid, but I thought if there was any chance of seeing you, of being near you . . .” My words tapered off. “There was a guy standing in front who called me over. I don’t know if it was because there was something about him that reminded me of you, but I couldn’t stop myself. I knew it was foolish and dangerous, but for some reason I didn’t care.”

“What? Are you kidding me? Do you know what kind of place that is?” Eli’s voice rose in outrage, sounding like a high-pitched howl. His body stiffened, and fury rolled off of him so severely I could see it.

“I already know how stupid it was, so save the lecture. It was probably all the shots of tequila I had last night, but I felt strangely safe with him. It was like he already knew me or something. He tried to protect me. It was the two Hells Angels who started trouble.” The memories came rushing back. I shivered as I recalled McNamm’s stinky breath as he straddled me, and Pock’s rough hands feeling their way down the back of my pants. I blinked away the tears threatening to flood my eyes. 

“A fight broke out and I had to defend myself. Weiss found me cracking a cue stick over one of the guy’s heads.”

Eli’s head cocked to the side and after a pause, a smile twitched his lips. “You took out a Hells Angel member with a cue stick?” 

“Yeah.”

Eli laughed, shaking his head. He crossed his arms, looking at me with what looked like pride. “You really do scare the crap out of me.”

I smiled, but the memories wouldn’t stop flooding through my mind—the lights bursting, sparks going straight for McNamm, him hitting me across the face. My hands instinctively covered my face. I could still feel McNamm’s fingers there and the cuts where Pock had crushed my cheek into the broken glass. Those would heal. But remembering how they had touched me, and how they had ground against me. I looked up realizing I had stopped talking. 

I became aware of the silence between us. Eli’s amused face had shifted, becoming cold and distant.

“None of them touched you, right?” 

I couldn’t look him in the eye and lie, and that’s what I was planning on doing. I was awful at lying. I could’ve pretended that Eli was asking about the bruises and cuts on my face, but we both knew he was asking about something more important. 

“Em?” he seethed. His voice was tight through his gritted teeth. “Did any of them touch you?” 

“Look, it’s over. I’d rather forget about it,” I said. 

Eli’s silence made me finally dare to look up. He stood trembling, rankled by my dismissal. His eyes burned intensely with rage. I had never seen them glow this bright before; they looked like an animal’s eyes caught in the dark by a light. 

“You’re not telling me everything.” He was barely able to contain any sort of appearance of calm. I stayed silent and averted my gaze, listening to him breathe in and out deeply. “Ember, tell me.” 

“No. I told you enough. Let’s call it even so I can get out of your life just like you want!” 

“Tell. Me. What. Happened.” Eli fumed, his body vibrating. His muscles twitched so fiercely that it looked like worms were moving under his skin. My silence just aggravated him more, but something in my gut told me that telling him what happened or giving him names would be a mistake. “How could you be so foolish? That was just the stupidest, most idiotic, dangerous thing you could’ve done. You will never step foot in that place again!”

“Excuse me?” I replied. “Are you telling me what to do? I’m so sick of people thinking they can. You don’t own me, Eli. Nobody does.”

“Somebody needs to. Not that you’d listen. You stubborn, pig-headed . . .”

“Pig-headed? That’s rich coming from you, the most obstinate, opinionated, and ornery person I’ve ever met.”

“Uh-oh, the three O’s. I must be in trouble,” Eli quipped. “How about this? You are insufferable, insolate, and infuriating!”

“Me, infuriating? You’ve got to be kidding me! I’m not the one with a multiple personality disorder, who should be on a high dosage of lithium. I mean, talk about mood swings. Do you even know which mood or personality you are right now?” 

His jaw clenched. “See any imaginary gnomes lately?”

I stopped my mouth falling open. “W-What?” I faltered under his reproving stare. My worst fear was being thrown at me, but something about his words bothered me. “What a minute. How did you know I saw a gnome?”

“Uh—I was guessing.” His eyes darted away from mine. 

“You’re lying.” He didn’t respond. I stepped forward, hitting and shoving his chest. “Stop lying to me!”

Eli grabbed for my hands but missed. “Ember, I’m warning you, stop.”

“Or what Eli? I’m curious, what will you do?” I hit him again, blind rage removing any reasonable thought. “What is your real story? Come on, let’s hear it! Could you even tell me or would you have to kill me? How many monsters do you have in your closet?” I felt raw and naked, as if he could see all my darkest fears. 

“You—have—no—idea,” he said, his voice low and gritty.

“So give me an idea,” I screamed, shoving him once more. It was like trying to push back a cement wall.

“Em, stop!”

“Should I start calling you Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde? Come on, just tell me the truth for once.” 

In a flash, Eli was on me, his hand feeling like sandpaper as it wrapped around my throat. Surprise and shock crippled my body as he crashed me up against a tree, knocking the wind out of me. A gurgled noise escaped from the scream bubbling up from the depths of my stomach. A fuzzy haze eclipsed my vision as tears filled my eyes. I twisted under his grasp, but his nails dragged against my neck’s fragile skin.

“Truth?” His voice was strangled. “Is that what you think you want? I can tell you, you don’t. Not really. And you certainly don’t want to know mine.”

My head buzzed as my lungs longed for air. I was waiting for my survival mode to kick in, to fight back. Instead, my gaze burrowed deep into his predatory, green eyes, which now had a strange glint of red in them. His eyes seized mine hungrily. Then, as if he’d received a slap to the face, he jerked back, releasing me. He looked down at his hands, and snapped around, turning away from me.