Daughter of Darkness (36 page)

I looked at it, touched it, and then looked at her. She was actually smiling warmly at me.

“You’ve come a long way from the little girl who used to help me in my herbal garden. We’re going to be proud of you, as proud as you will be of yourself. Tonight you will truly become your father’s daughter.”

I looked behind me. Ava was standing there smiling as well. Mrs. Fennel nodded again and went into the living room. I gazed at the stairway. Right now, it resembled a steep hill to climb.

“Go on,” Ava whispered close to my ear. “Get his blessing.”

I started up the stairway. My legs felt heavier and my breathing harder.
Get hold of yourself
, I thought.
You could bring the whole house down on you tonight.
I sucked in my breath, fixed my clothes, and primped my hair one more time before knocking on his door.

“Come in, Lorelei,” Daddy called.

He was lying in his big bed with all the curtains closed and only a small lamp on. It threw a deep yellow glow over his face. His eyes were darker than ever. He pushed himself up on his pillow and beckoned for me to draw closer.

“Don’t be alarmed,” he said. “I’m simply conserving my energy for later. You do look breathtakingly beautiful, Lorelei. I can feel your sexual energy. It’s fully blossomed within you. You’re truly irresistible.”

He held his hand out for mine and pulled me gently to him. Then he kissed me on the forehead. His lips felt so hot I thought they might burn me if he held them there much longer, but he didn’t stop. He moved them down over my eyes, my cheeks, until they were at my lips, moving as if his lips were an artist’s paintbrush and he was outlining the picture on his canvas. I had become his canvas in many ways, I realized. His lips grazed mine, and then he kissed me harder.

The feelings that flowed through me came as a frightening surprise. They were frightening because they filled me with unexpected pleasure. He had often sat me on his lap, had comforted me when I went to sleep and had bad thoughts, and had worn the mantle of my father and protector as I grew up. I had never dreamed he would touch me in places girls reserved for other men.

“Yes,” he said. He was like the love chef sampling his newest creation. “I can taste your sex. You are so ready, and Ava has been a good influence on you, hasn’t she?”

“Yes, Daddy.”

“I want you to understand that what you are doing
tonight is carrying on a great history, enabling it to live. You bring immortality to me. You will truly be one of us now. Are you excited?”

“Nervous,” I said, and he laughed. He had kissed me, held me, and looked into my eyes and had not seen what I had expected and feared he would see.

“That will come and be gone forever after tonight.”

He touched the ring Mrs. Fennel had given me.

“These are all made out of the Patio stone. As long as you wear it now, you will be one of us and protected. Go now, my darling daughter, and begin to fulfill your destiny.”

He released me and slipped back down onto the pillow.

“I have to rest a while,” he said. He closed his eyes.

I stared at him for a few moments. I could see the paleness in his face. I thought I even saw lines where there had never been any. And then, suddenly, his eyelids opened again, and instead of the ebony black, there was a blazing red. It stabbed me with an electric sharpness that penetrated my heart.

I turned and hurried off like someone who had seen her own death.

19
 
Judgment Day

“Did he give you his blessing? Wasn’t it wonderful?” Ava asked me when we started out of the house.

“Yes,” I said, and got into the car.

“And he gave you the family stone,” she said, nodding at my new ring. “I hope you realize how lucky you are now, Lorelei, and what a privilege it is to make sacrifices for Daddy.”

“You’re not ever afraid? You were never afraid?” I asked her.

I thought she might become angry again and snap at me, but she was quiet.
She simply won’t answer
, I thought. It felt like minutes of silence. “Of course I was afraid,” she finally replied. “But I instinctively knew that once I had completed myself for Daddy, I would never feel that sort of fear again. We don’t fear anything, Lorelei. We are aware of the renegades, but we don’t fear them. We prepare ourselves, remain cautious and alert so we can defend ourselves, but even that has no fear in it. You can’t imagine right now what you will feel once it’s over. You don’t have to try to imagine. I’ll tell you, because I am sure you’ll agree with me soon. You’ll feel like a goddess,
immortal and invulnerable. There are times when I feel the whole world is here for me and me alone. The air was created for me to breathe. The sun was created to warm me, and the night was created to protect me. Everything is for me, only me. When you are filled with that feeling of euphoria, that exaltation and rapture, you will see exactly what I mean. So, yes, I felt fear once, but it is so far back in my memory I can’t remember what it was like.”

What she said and the way she said it would probably make most people envious, I thought, but it didn’t give me the relief I sought as we drove on. Buddy was out there waiting for his lover, believing I would give him the crown jewel of life, the most cherished and important reason to live—deep, long, and everlasting love. He longed for me, while I approached with deception and the promise of deep, long, and everlasting betrayal.

I wanted to cry, but I didn’t. I was as cold as stone. Every part of my body was attached to strings I could not see but knew were there, strings that Daddy would pull, that he had been pulling all my life. I would dance the dance of seduction, and I would embrace Buddy with the iron grip my sex now could employ. He had no chance of escape. His own heart would blind him and bind him for deliverance into Daddy’s waiting arms.

“The moment you drove over to his uncle’s house that day,” Ava said, “I knew this was perfect.”

“You were always watching me? You always knew?”

“Of course, Lorelei. You’re almost as important to me as you are to Daddy. You don’t know how lucky you are to have it so easy the first time. I mean, it wasn’t hard
for me, but I still had to do a little work. You’re getting a package wrapped and tied.”

“Do we have to keep talking about it?” I asked, surprised at how sharp and defiant I sounded.

She glanced at me. “Well, excuse me,” she said. “You’re sounding like a spoiled bitch already,” she added with a laugh. “I’ll have to give you my whole wardrobe.”

We drove the rest of the way in silence. Buddy stepped out of the house and waved the moment we drove up.

“Anxious, isn’t he?” Ava said.

I started to get out, and she seized my arm. She glared at me with her full intensity, her eyes like daggers.

“Your whole life will be decided today, Lorelei. Make no mistake about that,” she warned, and then let me go.

I got out quickly, the chill she threw over my body still clinging to my skin. As she pulled away and Buddy approached, I felt as if a thin sheet of ice were sliding down my torso and crumbling at my feet.

“Hey,” he said. He took my hands, looked into my eyes, whispered “Welcome,” and kissed me softly on the lips. He hesitated for a moment when he felt no reaction from me. I was still numb from Ava’s ice-water words. “Everything all right?”

“Yes,” I said quickly, and started for the house.

“I ordered pizza with some salad.” He moved ahead to open the door for me.

Ordinarily, I would have been excited about getting what Mrs. Fennel called “goat food,” but tonight I thought I would have little or no appetite for anything. Nevertheless, I quickly smiled and entered. He had music playing throughout the house.

“I thought I’d bone up on some classical music while I waited for you. I remember you mentioned how your father enjoyed it. This is Mozart.”

“I know,” I said.
“The Magic Flute.”

“Yeah, of course, you would know. When I went into the music store, I just asked for Mozart. You want to go in the living room or—”

“What’s the backyard like? I’ve been in the house all day, and it’s beautiful outside.”

“Oh, it’s great. He has a small pool, nice patio. C’mon,” he urged, and led me through the house. We went out through the French doors in the den. There were light blue lounge chairs on a Spanish-tile patio. On the right side was a large barbecue grill and a sink. The pool was kidney-shaped, and there were a few tables, more lounges, and a small whirlpool. Five-foot-high ficus bushes provided lots of privacy, fencing in the property. There were some lemon trees on the right and also orange and grapefruit trees.

“Not bad, huh?”

“It’s very nice, yes,” I said.

“You want something cold to drink, beer, juice, water? I think there is some diet soda.”

“Just water, thanks.”

I sat on one of the lounges while he went to get me the water. The sky looked a few shades darker blue than usual, which made the scattered clouds a purer white. There wasn’t much of a breeze. The clouds were puffy and thick and looked stuck in place.

Buddy brought me a glass of water. He had one for himself and sat at my feet. For a few moments, he was silent, sipping his water and looking at me.

“Is it my imagination, or are you a bundle of nerves?” he asked.

“It’s not your imagination.”

“Worried that your father won’t like me?”

“Oh, he’ll like you.”

“How can you be so sure?”

“I know what he likes.”

“So, why was there all that hesitation about me meeting him before?”

“Let’s not ask any questions for a while,” I said. “It’s too beautiful and peaceful here. I feel as if I’m in a painting, and I like that feeling.”

“Why?” he asked with a soft smile.

“It makes me feel all of this can go on forever,” I said.

“Why can’t it?”

I laughed. “You remind me of a little boy sometimes,” I said. “So innocent, so trusting.”

“Oh, and you’re Miss Sophistication, I guess, huh?”

“I don’t mean it to be a criticism,” I said. “I wish we could all stay young and innocent forever.”

He sipped his water. “We will.”

“Oh, and how?”

“Love can do that for you,” he said.

“Really? Why do you believe that?”

“Everything hard and difficult and even ugly seems far less so when you’re in love. When I met you, as quick as all this seems to be, I felt as if my eyes were opened wider, my ears could hear more. All my senses were unclogged, sharper. Suddenly, everything I did was… not exciting, exactly, but more joyful, and that keeps you young. Does that make any sense?”

“Yes,” I said.

“It was the same for you?” he asked hopefully.

“Yes.”

“Then you won’t laugh if I tell you I love you and want to be with you forever and ever.”

“I won’t laugh,” I said.

He lowered his glass to the tile and leaned over to kiss me. This time, I kissed him back. He took the glass from my hand and put it down gently. We kissed again.

“I can’t imagine ever being happier than I am at this moment. If I died tomorrow, I wouldn’t feel cheated.”

“But how can you be with me forever and ever if you die, Buddy?”

“You’re here,” he said, pressing his hand to his heart. “Locked in forever and always with me. If we never saw each other again after today, I’d see you everywhere in every woman’s face and hear you in every woman’s voice. You’ve possessed me.”

“That sounds like—”

“Delicious torment. Don’t stop.”

He kissed me again. Half of me wanted to drive him away and save him, but the half of me that wanted him was stronger. His hands moved over me, tugging at my clothes. I felt myself tighten in anticipation. Ava’s orders were to make love as much as possible before I brought him home. “His blood should be hot with passion and desire,” she had said.

It’s all going the way it should
, I thought. Guilt, however, mixed in with my pleasure. I couldn’t help being tentative, a little reluctant. He felt it and stopped.

“Want to go inside?” he asked.

“Yes,” I said, and we reentered the house.

He led me to the bedroom in which we had made love. In moments, we were at each other, the hesitation quickly washed away by my own heat and passion. The intensity of it surprised me. He was surprised, too, but welcomed it as an indication of how much I wanted and loved him.

This time, however, I hardened faster in the places I had hardened before and became more aggressive. He started to laugh and then pretended to cry out for mercy.
Maybe he’s not pretending
, I thought, but I couldn’t stop. I kissed him more demandingly than he kissed me, rushed him to undress, and became impatient with how long he was taking to undress me. When we were naked, I rolled him over and mounted him.

“Wait!” he cried. “I’m not prepared.”

“It’s all right. We’ll be fine,” I said, too impatient to wait.

My hunger made him ravenous. With all abandon gone, we made love until he begged for mercy, laughing but astonished.

“I don’t know if you were loving me or trying to kill me,” he said, half joking. He paused, studying me a moment. “Do you work out or something? You have real muscle definition.”