Dave Cameron and the Extraterrestrial (9 page)

“
That’s
not what happened!”

“
You
admit to throwing him about?”

“
Yes!”

“
Apparently Cameron ... You’re a menace to civilization! I
ought to do something about you!”

“
What
help me clean my head up!”

Malone bent
over holding his head, but only for seconds, and straightened up
firmly, and Cameron realized he had put his foot in it again.

“
So
you’ve lost your memory! Well, this time I’ll have you checked
out!”

“
What
about?”

“
It’s
your blasted memory!” he screamed.

“
Well
then it is about time you told me!”

“
I will!
I’m coming to that!” he replied, calming himself.

Cameron gasped,
wondering if he would get it for the crime! What was he on about
though? He had not actually committed a crime! Other than take the
old drunk home! Was it about something he had done before he had
been found in the pool of mud in the field? Was he actually
wanted!

He could not
be! He could tell by all the people who knew him that he had
not!

Malone took his
official pose and sat studying him, as though a judge ready to
sentence him for a crime against humanity and that he would regret
it for the rest of his life, and he wondered what he was up to when
he never and just sat staring at his face with deep emotions about
something, and Cameron wondered what the outcome of it could
possible be.

“
You
remember what you did after the bar?” he asked, curiously examining
him.

“
Yes! I
had to walk back here in the end ...”

“
Have you
been back to that small roadside wood I asked you not to go
near?”

Cameron just
replied that he never, and wondered what he was being accused of
there!

“
It was
me who saw you climbing down a well in the middle the wood on
Floors Road! You had no right to be there!”

Cameron
realized that it was not someone else who complained and that he
might have been following him around, and he wondered if had been
watching him at the bar!

“
I’m
warning you not to do it again and I’m sending you to a doctor to
exam your head! If there’s something wrong with your memory or
brain we should have it revealed!”

Cameron
realized that he should visit the doctor and have him explain what
had happened!

Chapter 17

The Doctor

Cameron had to
rush to the doctor’s as he forget the appointment, after Simpson
got them drunk in a drinking session lasting hours!

He sat there
considering what would happen if the doctor never accepted him, and
realized after thirty minutes of sitting in the silent empty
waiting room that he would just get another blasted appointment and
marched up to the doctor’s door and knocked, and eventually sat
back down and waited!

After another
thirty minutes he grew tired and started to feel all the drink he
had consumed.

He grew
impatient and then deep anger at the doctor and his treatment and
suddenly leapt on his feet and ran and jumped hard against the
doctor’s door, and started shouting at the doctor calling him a
bald headed dick, and if he never served him he would report him to
the highest officer he could get hold of!

After fifteen
minutes more he ran over and yanked the door open, ready to give
him a piece of his mind on his treatment of dedicated hardworking
soldiers!

Yet he searched
the office, not believing his eyes, realizing the doctor was out
for lunch, and was annoyed at him not leaving any sign of it to
warn him!

He decided to
wait for his return there, sure that it could not be long after the
tremendous wait, and he rushed into the room and banged the door
shut and jumped into the doctor’s seat! Put his legs up on his
desk, and started swinging the doctor’s stethoscope over his head
making loud helicopter sounds.

He put on the
doctor’s white jacket and stood admiring it in a mirror and did a
cartwheel across the floor, and was in the middle of doing a
handstand on the doctor’s desk, while he did impersonations of a
doctor, when a woman yanked open the door!

He immediately
jumped down and sat in his seat, and he pretended to be the doctor
and right away told her to undress and put her clothes in the
corner to see if she would do it, and was surprised that she did,
and he followed through with it and demanded she hurried up!

She grudgingly
removed clothing and when she was standing naked he shifted over
and started to stroke her thigh, and asked her, “Do you know what
this is for?”

“
Yes!”
she moaned. “You’re checking me for any abrasions and
dermatological abnormalities?”

Surprised at
her reaction he began to fondle her breasts, and cried, “Do you
know what I’m doing now?”

“
Yes!”
she moaned firmly. “Your checking for lumps!”

He firmly
embraced her and they rolled over together across the examination
table, and lowered themselves onto the floor in lustful mad
passion!

He started
removing his trousers, and panted, “Do you know what we’re doing
now?”

“
Yes!”
she moaned loudly, realizing what she was doing. “You’re making it
with the doctor’s wife!”

She swiftly
shifted away and fixed up her clothing and left, and as she left
the door gave him a sexy smile.

Eventually the doctor turned up and ordered
him to get out his seat, and Cameron realized that he had to know
what he had done with his wife, and sat in a seat opposite him
considering ways to cover it up!

His stared eyes studied Cameron with
amazement, and penetrated deep into his mind trying to grasp his
thoughts, and Cameron wondered why.

The doctor, after he had finished
cleaning the mess he had made of his desk, asked him firmly, “Tell
me w
hat you do in an
average day?”

“
Well!”
he replied, realizing he needed to cover up what he did with his
wife. “It starts in the middle of the night! My wife always wakes
me at three in the morning for a massive wild sex session,
including oral sex and masturbation all over the bedroom floor, and
again at five where we spend hours making love before I go to
work!”

“
Is that
what’s causing the problem?” the doctor asked,
curiously.

“
No! Doc!
That’s not it! When I get on the train to work there’s always this
beautiful girl I meet every morning and we sneak into an empty
compartment and have wild sex sessions rolling all over the
floor!”

“
Now I
see ...”

“
No! Not
that! When I get to work my secretary really fancies me and I have
to make it with her in the storeroom during morning break and all
the other office girls arrive and we have a massive orgy lasting up
to hours!”

“
Oh!” the
doctor replied, slightly confused.

“
Doc!
There’s more! For lunch I go to the local sandwich bar where this
really sexy woman works! And we always pop into the back room for a
quickie, which usually ends up with us spending hours rolling
around the floor in a mad frenzy of lust!”

“
Oh!”

“
Then in
the afternoon I have to make it with my attractive lady boss in her
office for hours because if I don’t she says she’ll fire me! Then
when I get home the minute I walk in the door my wife grabs sexual
organs and we have wild sex sessions rolling all over the living
room floor until we go to bed!”

The doctor
scratched his head, and asked firmly, “So what’s your problem?”

“
I have a
sore willy!”

The doctor started shouting at him for
wasting his time, and clearly recalled he was an army doctor and
dealing with a soldier!

The doctor calmed himself, and started
over again, and told him firmly, “Now tell me what you do in
an average day!”

“
Every
time I make it with my wife, while drunk, I collapse in a heap on
the floor ...”

Suddenly the
doctor looked up and explained to him how he could help him and
Cameron realized he thought he meant he was infertile and could not
get his wife pregnant, and the doctor handed him a sperm sample jar
and asked him to use the jar!

Astonished at
it, he moaned back, “What! You expect me to stick my sexual organs
in that dirty old jar?”

“
What!”
the doctor moaned, annoyed. “You ejaculate in it!”

“
What
from here?” he answered “From this side of the table?”

“
No!” the
doctor shouted. “From your bloody house!”

Tired and
wanting to rest Cameron just took the jar and left through the
waiting room.

Early the next
morning he arrived back drunk from a bar and handed over the jar
empty, and the doctor moaned, “I asked you to use that jar?”

“
Well
doc!” he announced, drunkenly. “I tried it with my left hand but
that didn’t work! So I tried it with my right hand but that didn’t
work either! So I asked my wife to help! She is younger than me and
better with her hands and she tried it with both her hands at the
one time! But still nothing! Then she tried it with her mouth, but
nothing! So as a last resort we got all the local housewives to
come around and give it a whirl! But still no joy! Even with ten of
us going at it!”

“
Nothing?” the doctor replied, surprised.

“
Listen
doc! We tried and tried and no matter what we did none of us could
get the bloody lid off the jar!”

The doctor shouted furiously at him for
wasting his time and calmed himself, and told him firmly,
“Yesterday I asked w
hat
you did in an average day to discover why you were here! So I could
determine why you were losing your memory! Now tell me what you do
from day to night, and give me what you might think causes your
memory loss!”

Chapter 18

The Second Horserace

The sun was blazing down and the scent of
newly cut grass was in the air and Cameron admired the racecourse
and its construction, across his front, and he watched Willy being
brought out by Hanks, going to the starting line, and studied
Willy’s facial expression and saw no real danger!

Yet the horse had clearly won the last race
with its determination and he knew that they needed to have it
there, and he knew that Hanks would use it to win, but how would he
control the horse, and he shrugged.

He spotted Hanks looking worried for a moment
and Cameron wondered what he was originally like before his memory
loss, and realized his future predicament, and what he would have
to face.

The doctor had in the end realized his real
problem and had given him as much information as possible on the
problem.

Yet even with it he could not solve the
problem and still had no real solution!

Everything looked perfect at the racecourse
and as perfect as they were going to get and Cameron wondered what
could possibly go wrong! Even if the horse did not win it was only
its second race and he was sure its performance would become far
better in the future. But how long could it last? How long would it
take to show what it could really run like? The horses at the last
race had been rubbish as far as he had seen! The horses this time
looked far better and he was sure that it would soon become
apparent what Willy was like as a racehorse! The last time the
other horses had left it behind at starting line, and he was sure
that it was the problem!

Hanks had transformed into something else and
now looked like a professional jockey, and not the soldier that he
knew, and he even wondered what he was up to! Why had he not just
found a professional place to work for? Was he really a good
jockey?

He studied the weight of the jockeys and
their horses trying to see if he noticed anything, and they were
the same, and Hanks was not overweight from all the beer he had
consumed, and he wondered what the conclusion would be.

Hanks looked determined and determined to do
his job!

He had questioned him more intensely on his
knowledge of racing as much as he could, checking if it was a good
investment, and for the fun of finding the truth.

Willy seemed to have deep determination and
perhaps a plan and he was sure it could be more determined to win,
and at the start line it gave vicious looks at the other horses and
as though they were different and inferior, and he was surprised to
see the others react like it was something, but he could not quite
grasp what, and he realized the other horses thought it was a
predator!

He stood astonished and wondered how a horse
could possibly treat and think of other horses as it did! It ate
grass and had the basic horse body, and he wondered if it had been
Hanks all along that had done something to it, which had altered it
to something else, and that he had trained it to attack them!

The argument
over its name occasionally still emerged, as at different angles
they could not imagine a horse with such a name could become a
leading racehorse! Some places seemed to choose horses by their
names! But Hanks had insisted that it was a great horse name and he
had given examples!

Willy looked a monster, especially at night,
and people avoided going near where it was kept, and while sober he
still looked twice at it when he had not seen it for a long time,
and he was surprised that experienced people at the racecourse gave
strange reactions and many stood staring at it and some recalled
its appearance in the newspapers, and some he was sure recalled it
at the last racecourse, and there were still the occasional people
that thought they were up to something.