Dead Awakenings (32 page)

“After we’ve done this, and after we’re home, then we can talk about it.”

“Evaine, I—” His cell rang. “It’s time. Let’s hit the road.”

She sighed. She turned the key, the engine roared to life, and she pulled out onto the parkway. Civilization came into view as they rounded a bend. There was no going back now. The lights of the city twinkled in the distance, beckoning to her like tiny candles lighting the way.

They were almost to Tristan’s building when Luca put his seat back and lay flat in the car. She pulled around the corner off the alleyway where she had met up with the Feeders before, her nerves getting the better of her. Finding an empty spot she parked and turned off the engine.

“I’m scared.” She stared at the dark street.

Luca reached out and took her hand. “I’m right behind you, lover. Just remember whatever happens and wherever you go, I’ll be there. If you need me, feel for me, I’ll come closer if I can. Even if you can’t feel me, know I’m still there—we’re all here. We’ll get through this and go home and get fake papers and go down to the justice of the peace and get married. We’ll be undead together till our bodies wear out.”

She laughed out loud; he was nothing if not persistent. “I guess it’s time for me to go.” She checked herself in the small mirror. “How do I look?”

“Normal.”

“Is that good or a bad?”

“It’s just…not you.”

Luca pressed his cell phone into her hand. She flipped it open and dialed the number. “Tristan, I’m here. Can you meet me down here with him? OK, I’ll compromise with you, you come down and we’ll go down the street and grab something to eat and talk.” She snapped the phone shut.

“I don’t like it.” Luca’s voice was tense.

“No, no, it’s fine.” She scoured the area with her gaze and then pretended to fiddle with the radio stations and spoke under her breath. “This will be better. I’ll walk down the street with him, making myself more visible to anyone watching. After Kale I’ll go down the block to the park, by then you’ll be there. I’ll relax and act normal and then hopefully they will take the bait. Me.”

“I still don’t like it.” He sounded strained.

“I’ll be back soon.” She opened the door.

He grabbed her wrist as she got out. She stopped and looked down at her watch as though she were checking the time.

“I love you,” he said.

“I know.”

Evaine could see Tristan was a bundle of nervous energy when he exited the building and walked down to where she waited on the corner. He stopped for a minute and stared at her. He closed his mouth and hugged her, but it felt stiff and forced.

“You look great.” He lifted her black hair.

“It’s a wig,” she said. “But thanks.”

“The makeup and contacts make you look just like…you.”

“Come on, let’s get off this corner and go down to Marshall’s for a steak.” She glanced around.

“Sounds great.” He smiled.

Tristan reached out, taking her hand. He seemed distracted, almost preoccupied. She wasn’t sure what was up, but she was sure he would tell her soon. She couldn’t help but glance back at the car she had driven in, trying to spot Luca.

“Did you come alone? I can’t imagine that they let you go without an escort of some kind.” Tristan broke into her thoughts.

Evaine turned forward again. “I’m not a prisoner—I told you that before. They’re my family.”

“I am your family,” he said a little too forcefully.

“We have been over this already. I—”

“Let’s go have a nice meal.” He pulled her close.

Evaine nodded, but inside she wanted to run.

All through dinner she felt as if Tristan’s mind were elsewhere. He smiled and laughed, but his eyes were vacant. Now, as they walked in silence toward his building, she couldn’t take it anymore. “What’s up, Tristan?”

“What do you mean?”

She stopped in the middle of the block. “Don’t lie to me. You’ve been hiding something. What is going on?”

“OK, you got me.” He looked crestfallen. He spoke very fast. “I wanted to surprise you. I cleaned out your flat after you disappeared. I have everything and had hoped you would come up and look through it.”

“Everything?”

“Yeah. CDs, books, clothes…”

“I can’t.” She thought about the real reason she was there. “I…throw it away. I can buy anything I need. I’m sorry you went through all that trouble.”

“Please, there must be something you want. Just come look.”

She started walking again. “I need to get Kale and get going. Luca will worry.”

“Right. Luca.” He fell into step beside her.

“Don’t. Please.” She glanced around nervously. It wasn’t going to be long now. She needed to get moving. She reached out with her mind for Luca. His presence was distant, but she could feel him out there. It eased her somewhat.

Suddenly Tristan grabbed her hand and pulled her down the street. She had to run to keep from falling.

“Slow down. That’s enough—you’re hurting me,” she snapped.

He wouldn’t stop though, and she was finally forced to push him mentally. He stumbled forward but steadied himself. She caught a glimpse of his face; he looked as though he were going to lose control.

“I think that maybe this was a bad idea. Let’s do this a different day. You can bring Kale up to the Haven House next week.” She took a step away from him, scanning the street.

“No. You need to come up and get him. If you don’t I’ll…I’ll take him to the pound tomorrow,” he shouted.

“You wouldn’t!”

He moved swiftly to her. “I will.” His voice was deadly calm. “I’ll go down there tonight and tie him to the door and walk away.”

A sob caught in her throat. Why was he was acting like this? “All right,” she whispered. “I’ll come up.”

His face was like stone as he dragged her up through the building to the elevator. When the elevator opened on his floor he reached for her arm again.

“I’m up here already, you don’t need to keep pulling on me.” She yanked her hand away. Her rage was beginning to take over where her nervousness had been. Something wasn’t right with him. Just days before he had been fine up at the house with her, but now he was more of a stranger than ever. Lightly she reached out with her mind again to try to find Luca. She found the thread that connected her to Luca and followed it out into the vast space between them. It was faint.

“What are you doing?”

Her eyes flew open. He glared at her suspiciously.

“Nothing.” He frowned. “Fine, if you must know, I am trying very hard to control my anger with you right now.”

“Anger with me?” His voice registered disbelief. “I’m not the one who’s having an affair with someone else.”

“I’m not having an affair with anyone. I told you already, we aren’t engaged anymore.”

“According to you.” He pushed the door open. Kale tried to rush into the hall, but Tristan caught him. Kale barked madly and tried to bite Tristan’s hand. Evaine pushed into the apartment and fell to her knees. Kale ran to her, licking her all over. He knocked off her wig and she fell onto her back, laughing happily. After several minutes of happy reuniting she told him to lie down. Kale hit the floor with a thud. Evaine shook her hair out of the wig cap. She felt lighter without it, more like herself.

Tristan walked to the bar and poured himself a drink. He watched her in silence as she plucked out her contacts and tossed them into the nearest trashcan. She pulled down black stretch leggings from under her skirt, then flung the skirt to the carpet.

Tristan swallowed his drink, undid his sports jacket, and laid it over the arm of the couch. She moved around him warily, going to the boxes Tristan had collected. She exchanged her heels for her favorite pair of sneakers. Silently she went box by box; only the sound of Kale’s thick tail thumping on the floor could be heard. When she was done she turned to Tristan, who’d seated himself on the couch with his head in his hands.

“Where’s Kale’s leash?” Her voice carried a hard edge.

He pointed to the guest bedroom she had used in the past.

Kale’s leash sat in the large brown plaid bed she had bought for him. She picked it up and headed out of the room. Tristan met her in the hall. She stopped short of running into him. He reached out and ran his hand down her arm.

“I want you to stay,” he said. “I can take care of you.”

“I need to go.” She tried to step around him, but he placed his hands on her arms.

“No, see, that’s the thing, you don’t. You could do this. Dye your hair, wear the contacts, put on the stage makeup, and we could be together.”

“Please, don’t do this.” She pushed past him and headed toward the door. “Kale, heel.” Kale was on his feet in an instant and by her side.

She had her hand on the knob when she stopped. Turning she saw the look of defeat in Tristan’s eyes. “Part of me will always love the boy who sung on stage just to get to meet me. This is not how I imagined my life turning out, but I’m finally happy now. I want you to find happiness too. Right now it doesn’t feel like you ever will, but you will. You just have to try. I never really belonged in this world anyway.”

She got as far as turning the door handle before he grabbed her and spun her around. He kissed her softly on her mouth. After a second, she pushed him away.

“Tell me you didn’t feel anything. Tell me that there was nothing there for you and I’ll let you go.”

Evaine remembered Luca’s words when he had kissed her in her room.
“I want you to remember what it feels like when I kiss you.”
She sighed.
“What I felt was comfortable and familiar, like putting on an old coat.”

“But you did feel something.”

“Don’t you want more than to feel like someone’s comfortable old coat? Don’t you want someone who lights on fire when you touch her?”

“Is that what you feel for him?” Tristan started to flush, and the muscles in his neck bulged.

“It isn’t about me and him. It’s about me and you. I once thought that what we had was enough, because it met my needs. But what I realize now is that I never met yours. The most selfless thing I can do for you now is let you go. Go. Find that person who deserves you as much as you deserve her.”

“But I want you.”

She sighed. “I have to go.”

“You mean you have to go to him.”

She checked her watch. “No, I mean I have to go.” She turned again for the door, and this time she had the door open before he grabbed her.

“No! I won’t let you do this. We are meant to be together.” He picked her up and carried her back into the apartment. Kale barked madly, jumping on Tristan. She struggled. Her mind snapped into action. This had taken too long. She didn’t want to hurt him, but she had no choice. She needed to get out of here and fast; she had a job to do.

Pushing him with her mind he fell forward. He tried to catch himself on the side of the couch but had to drop her to do it. She scrambled away from him, further into the apartment with Kale growling at her side. Tristan got to his feet.

“Tristan, don’t make me hurt you, please. I don’t want to hurt you!”

“You won’t hurt me. I know you.” He advanced on her.

“But I will,” came a heavy voice from the open door.

“Luca, don’t,” Evaine choked.

Tristan’s eyes widened as Luca advanced.

“Don’t!” She stopped him with a mental shove and held him in place.

The phone buzzed in Evaine’s purse. Luca’s eyes flicked her direction. His anger was palpable. “Don’t.” She dug around in her purse. She answered the call on the third ring. “Hello? OK, I’ll be down in a minute. No, everything’s fine, Nate. I’m on my way.”

Luca’s posture continued to tense.

“They’re here.” She released him and got to her feet. “I have to go down.”

“What’s going on?” Tristan didn’t take his eyes off of Luca.

“I’ve been trying to tell you.” She grabbed Kale by the collar, clipped on his leash. “We found the doctor. The Feeders are here. They’ve been looking for me. If I don’t go now—”

“Wait!” Tristan yelled pressing his hands to his head. “You mean you didn’t really come into the city for Kale? You didn’t want to see me?”

She didn’t speak.

“And you’re hoping what? That they’ll grab you?” He turned to Luca. “I can’t believe you are letting her do this.”

“She isn’t the weak, defenseless creature you think she is. She could protect herself and all the rest of us if we needed her too. We’re lucky that she’s the one they want.”

“Lucky? Lucky? Are you insane?”

Evaine spoke calmly. “Look at me. Really
see
me.” She let go of Kale, grabbed a wipe from her purse and removed the face makeup. “This is me. I may not be dead, but I’m not alive anymore either. I’m something else. You need to move on, and I need to go on as well.” Picking Kale’s leash she walked to the door, her heart heavy with sadness. “Good-bye, Tristan.”

Chapter Twenty-Eight

Evaine took the stairs down to the lobby, but went out the service entrance. She pushed open the door and walked through the alleyway, crossed the street to the other side, and then back to the front of the building. Pulling up her jacket collar she continued down the block. A chill crept up her neck as she started down a side street. Her vision came into sharp focus. She removed her earbuds and heard several people moving about ten yards away. She couldn’t smell them yet; the wind was blowing in the wrong direction.

Now was the time. She walked into the park and sat down on the bench. Kale sat at her feet staring at her till she told him to go. Reluctantly he rolled around on the grass, continually looking at her. Pulling out Luca’s phone she dialed Abbey at the house.

“Luca, sorry, I needed to get out. No, no, I’ll be back in a while. You too. Bye.” She hung up. The trap was set. Footsteps and whispers came closer, Kale started to bark, and then he growled. She pretended to calm him, but he started to go nuts. She tied him to the bench and told him to sit, praying that someone would get him out.

After she tied up Kale everything happened very fast. One minute there was no one in the park but her and then within seconds there were five, maybe six, Feeders, surrounding her. She tried to scream but nothing came out. She got up to run and Julius was on her before she made it to the street. She pushed him with her mind. He stumbled, but kept coming. The push wasn’t meant to keep him out of the running, only slow him down. Behind her Kale went crazy. At one point she thought he had gotten free, but he never caught up to her.