Dead Highways (Book 2): Passage (5 page)

“We can still go,” I said. “You read the note.”

“I know. I’m just not sure that we should.”

“Yeah.” I packed dirt around the base of the wooden stake. Hopefully it would hold. “I’m not sure either. But if we do go, we won’t have to worry about Diego anymore.”

“Why?”

I stood up, brushed the dirt off my pants. “Diego’s dead.”

“What? How do you know?”

“Because I saw his body.”

Peaches sighed. “I don’t know what to think about that. I mean, I can’t say I’m happy that he’s gone. I wouldn’t wish death upon anyone. But I do feel a bit relieved. Does that make me a horrible person?”

“Not as horrible as me,” I said, looking down at Luna’s grave. I thought about how happy a couple they were, Diego and her, sitting in my old room at the bookstore, talking about how they met—revealing to us that she was pregnant. I looked up, met eyes with Peaches. “He’s dead because of me.”

Then I walked away.

Peaches stood by the grave for a moment and then hurried to catch up with me.

“What do you mean? What happened?”

“He committed suicide.”

“Suicide?”

“Yep, and I helped him.”

“How?”

“I gave him my gun. When the rest of you were asleep, he asked for it. He said he needed it. Said he wanted me to trust him.”

“And then he … he just went off and killed himself?”

I nodded. “I found his body. This was right before the camp was overrun.”

“Why did you give him a gun when we agreed he wasn’t ready yet? Did you know he would kill himself?”

We stopped at the back porch. I turned to address Peaches directly. “Not for sure. He didn’t come right out and say it. But—”

“But what?”

“But I … I had a pretty good idea he would. Otherwise I don’t think I would have given him the gun.”

“Jesus, Jimmy.”

“Yeah, I guess
I’m
the horrible person.”

“I don’t know what to say. I’m just … surprised, that’s all.”

“I knew you would be … that’s why I didn’t say anything earlier. But it’s sort of been eating at me ever since last night. I needed to get it out.”

“Do you regret it?”

I looked down, thought about the question. “I don’t know yet.”

“You look like you do.”

“I feel like I should.” I raised my head. “But at the same time, maybe I helped give him what he needed—to be with Luna again. Maybe he’s with her right now. And if he’s not, I’d like to think that before he pulled the trigger he at least had a smile on his face thinking that he would be. Should I regret that? I don’t know. And I may never know.”

I sat on Ted’s couch and waited for Peaches to finish making us lunch. Olivia was beside me, propped up against the armrest, falling in and out of sleep. I read the note Robinson had left us a few more times.

We will wait there until 6pm.

I checked my watch.

12:53 p.m.

Soon we’d have to make a decision. Stay or go? I sensed that Peaches wanted to stay, and if true, I couldn’t blame her. Ted’s house wasn’t a paradise. It wasn’t on the beach, and there were no hot girls in bikinis bringing me martinis. But it was about as safe a place as we were likely to find. He had plenty of dry food that, unlike the junk at Aamod’s convenience store, wouldn’t expire for years. So what if it tasted like dog doo. We’d get used to it. It’s not like we had the option anymore of going to Burger King for fine dining. Also, there were weapons here. Lots and lots of weapons. And since Ted’s property was so secluded, there was only a slim chance we’d ever have to use them.

But perhaps the best reason to stay was for the generator, which was probably why Ted’s fish weren’t already floating despite the foggy living conditions. The tank was cycling water. The house lights worked. The AC was cranking. Even set at eighty degrees, it felt like God blowing a little bit of heaven down on me. Sure, eventually the generator would fail or we’d run out of gas to power it. I had no illusions this comfortable feeling would last forever or even into tomorrow. Like our lives, all of this could end in an instant. No, this wasn’t paradise. Nor was it a perfectly designed fortress. But it was much nicer than being out on the road. Safer, too.

So I couldn’t blame Peaches if she wanted to stay here. It was the smart thing to do. It was our best chance at regaining some sort of normal life. I can’t say if I loved Peaches, I hadn’t really been
in love
before, but I knew I loved being around her. If she wanted to stay, I would stay. She had me in her grip and I wasn’t going anywhere without her.

And yet, as I read Robinson’s note for the third time, I couldn’t help but feel as though I were missing out on something.

We would love to see you again. It’s not the same without you.

Or maybe it was just
them
that I was missing.

I checked my watch again.

1:01 p.m. Less than five hours now.

It was torture, reading that note, constantly checking the time.

Let it go, I told myself. Let
them
go. This was where I belonged. I glanced into the kitchen. Peaches was putting the final touches on a sandwich salad combo.

If nothing else, I still had her.

And that was enough to push back the impending tears.

Moments later, Peaches brought out two trays and set them down on Ted’s scratched up coffee table. Then she went back to the kitchen to get our drinks.

I inspected the food. Two salads. Two sandwiches. Nothing extravagant, but at least it looked edible, which was more than I could say for the Meatloaf I’d ingested the previous night.

“Which one is mine?” I asked.

Peaches returned to the living room with two drinks. “They’re the same, silly.”

“You didn’t spit in one of the sandwiches, did you?”

“Yeah, the one with tuna.”

“Which one has tuna?”

“They both have tuna. I told you they’re the same.”

I smiled, lifted one of the trays on to my lap. “I was just teasing you. It all looks very good, actually.”

“The veggies weren’t super fresh, but they probably won’t kill you.”

I stuck my fork in the salad and took a big bite. “Guess I’ll find out.”

“I’ll try and get together something more substantial for dinner.”

I stopped eating. “So we’re staying for dinner then?”

“Well, I meant if that’s what we decide. Have you thought about it?”

I nodded. “Yeah, I’ve been thinking about it.”

“And…?”

“And I don’t know. I figured I’d let you decide.”

“I don’t want it to just be
my
decision. We should have an equal say.”

“Okay. Then what do you think? Maybe I’ll agree.”

She paused for a moment, and then said, “I was thinking maybe we should stay.”

Shocker!
Didn’t see that coming.

“Okay,” I said, taking a big bite of my tuna sandwich. It didn’t taste quite as good as my grandma’s classic tuna melt, but it still hit the spot. “We’ll stay then.”

Peaches sighed. “But what do
you
think? Are you okay with that?”

I shrugged, continued to eat. I wanted to say sure, yeah, absolutely, I’m okay with that. But I didn’t want to lie, and I didn’t want to argue. I wanted to let it be, as the Beatles once said.

Peaches had me figured out anyway. “You’re not, are you?”

“Not what?”

“Okay with staying. It’s pretty obvious. If you got some concerns, tell me. You know I’ll listen.”

I finished my sandwich, picked up the glass of mysterious liquid from the coffee table. I smelled it. It smelled familiar. “What is this?”

“It’s sweet tea.”

I took a sip. Mercy me, she wasn’t kidding. Sweet fuckin’ tea.

Life was good.

Except for the fact that Peaches hadn’t stopped staring at me. “Well…?”

“Look, the thing is … I don’t have any concerns. None at all. That’s the thing. It makes perfect sense to stay here. We’ve got more than enough stuff to get by on, even got sweet tea.”

She smiled. “It’ll run out eventually.”

“I know. But by then most of the infected will probably have moved on to wherever they’re going.”

“That’s true. I hadn’t thought of that.”

“And so the stores will once again be ripe for the picking. It’ll just be us, sure. But it’ll be safe again. Who knows, maybe we’ll come across some other survivors in town. We can help each other out. As long as they’re not like Jerry.”

“Oh God no.”

I rested my head back against the couch cushion, stared up at the AC vent that blew wonderfully semi-cool air in our direction. “So if we’ve got every reason to stay … why is it that I want to go?”

Peaches put down her tray and snuggled in close to me. “I don’t know, Jimmy. Why?”

“I think I just miss my friends.”

“I miss them too.”

“I know you do.”

“But I’m also trying to think long term. And I feel like … if we stay out there on the road, we’re not gonna make it very long. We barely made it two steps outta town.”

“You’re right. Like I said, staying makes perfect sense. I just feel like we’re sorta taking the easy way out.”

“You think staying here is gonna be easy?”

“No, I didn’t mean it like that. I don’t know. It’s hard to explain.”

“Can you at least try?”

“I guess I wanted to help Robinson find his son.”

“If he even makes it to New Orleans.”

“He’ll make it. He’s got a reason to live, even if that reason is probably dead or infected. And when he does get to New Orleans, and he doesn’t find his son, I feel like I need to be there for him. To help him say the hard goodbye, like he helped me. I know that’s risking a lot, my life even, but that’s just how I feel.”

“But your life isn’t the only one on the line here.”

I nodded. “Trust me, if you weren’t here, I’d already be gone. You’re the reason I’m staying.”

“I wasn’t talking about me. I was talking about her.”

Her, lying beside me on the couch, scrunched up against the armrest.

Olivia.

“I’m sorry,” I finally said. “My head is a mess. You’re absolutely right about Olivia. Leaving shouldn’t have even been considered.”

“We left once before when we could have stayed.”

“And we made the wrong decision. She almost died at the hands of that infected girl.” I checked my watch again. 1:23 p.m. “Soon Robinson and the others will be moving on and it won’t matter anyway. We can put it behind us.”

“Is that what you want?”

“It’s what’s gonna happen. We’ll stay here. Me, you, and her. And we’ll be happy together. So happy together.”

I smiled at Peaches.

She smiled back and put her head down on my shoulder. “Thank you.”

“No need to thank me. I know when I’m wrong, even though it’s hard to admit sometimes.”

“That’s not why I’m thanking you.”

“Why then?”

“Remember when I told you that I hoped we’d stick together … that you were the only one I could trust?”

“Sort of.”

“I asked you not to let me down. And you haven’t.” She gave me a long kiss on the cheek. “Thank you.”

By the end of the hour, all three of us were napping on the couch.

It was a little after three in the afternoon when I woke up.

Power nap, baby. And while I didn’t exactly feel powerful—I still had the arms of an anorexic girl—I
did
feel a sudden burst of energy. 

I got up from the couch as quiet as possible, gathered the food trays, and then set them in the kitchen. Then I satisfied Ted’s one demand for allowing us to stay at his house.

I fed his fish.

Out in the garage, I rummaged through Ted’s weapon locker, found ammo for Sally, and loaded up a few spare magazines. Never can be too careful, or cautious. Sally would stay attached to my hip at all times, like a well trained attack dog, in case I ever needed her services.

Peaches pushed open the garage door and stepped out. “What’re you doing?”

“Did I wake you?”

“Yeah. What are you doing out here?”

“I was just gonna get together some stuff.”

“What kind of stuff?”

“Emergency stuff. Like in case we have to leave in a hurry. I’ll put it in the Jeep.”