Deadly Seduction (Feral Protectors 3) (16 page)

She dropped to her knees and buried her face in her hands. “I had to. I had to.”

Nosh knelt in front of her. “You were defending yourself. You were defending us. You did the right thing.”

“I know. I just… I’ve never killed anyone before.”

Nosh gathered her into his arms. She welcomed his protective embrace.

“I don’t want to lose you,” she whispered.

Nosh brushed the hair from her eyes. His palms cradled her face. “Gwen, look at me.”

She did.

“I know that this is the worst possible time to be saying this, but I love you. I love your strength and your courage. I love the way you fought for me. I love that you saved my life. But it’s even more than that. I can’t imagine living my life without you. I never want to let you go.”

Gwen bawled. She’d never been so happy in her life. She couldn’t believe he loved her. But he didn’t know everything. He didn’t know that there was a strong chance that she couldn’t ever give him the family that he deserved.

Nosh said, “Why are you still crying?”

She sniffed. “I haven’t told you everything.”

“You said he didn’t hurt you.”

“Mazus didn’t, but Zane did.”

“Oh, sweetheart. We’ll take everything slow. I promise I won’t rush you.”

“It’s not that.”

He pulled her into his lap and cradled her body against his. “Talk to me.”

“I… Akila said… I’m damaged.”

“No, honey. You’re perfect just the way you are.”

“I mean, my body.”

“The scars don’t bother me.”

She groaned in frustration before blurting, “I can’t have kids.”

Nosh froze.

She rushed forward. “You’re an alpha and you need kids and I can’t give them to you but maybe I can but I don’t know—”

“Wait. Slow down.”

She took a calming breath then blew it out. “Akila said that the attack may have permanently damaged me. I probably can’t have kids. She’s not sure I can bring a baby to term.”

“Oh honey, I’m not worried about that. As long as I have you, I’ll be the happiest wolf in the world.”

She shook her head. “I don’t know…”

He tilted her chin up and gazed into her eyes. She relaxed slightly.

He whispered, “Honey, I love you. Kids or no kids.”

“Really?”

He smiled softly. “Well, we can still…”

She blushed. “We can try.”

He kissed her gently and slid his arm around her waist. As his lips brushed against hers, she melted. The fear she’d held inside for so long dissolved. She was ready to move forward with her life.

They didn’t break the kiss until shouts and pounding feet signaled the arrival of the other wolves.

Lucian was the first to reach the ledge. “You found her.”

“And Mazus,” Nosh said.

“He’s dead.”

Lucian looked at her then at Nosh. “What happened?”

“Mazus was about to kill me but Gwen shoved him over the edge.”

“I had no choice.”

Lucian said, “Of course not. He got what he deserved.”

Nosh said, “He’s about half-way down the mountain. Can you send a group to retrieve his body? I want him buried as soon as possible.”

“Will do. Do you need anything else? You guys look pretty beat up,” Lucian said.

Gwen shook her head. “We’re okay.”

“Good. We’ll celebrate later.”

Nosh grinned. “We have a lot to celebrate.”

Chapter 16

Gwen brushed her hand across her belly in an attempt to squelch her nerves. Nosh stood over the fire in the center of his room. He added another log to the flames. It had been a long day.

Lucian had left a few minutes earlier after reporting that Mazus had been buried. A quiver of guilt rattled her conscience, but she kept reminding herself that she’d had no choice but to push him.

Nosh turned to face her. Firelight cast a sensual glow across his bronzed abs. She swallowed as he approached. She’d never made love to anyone. She had no idea what to do, so when Nosh reached for her, she took his lead.

He slid onto the bed next to her and gathered her in his arms. “Are you doing okay?”

“I’m nervous.”

“Don’t be,” he whispered. “I’ll go slow and if you want me to stop, just say so. You can always say no, okay?”

She nodded.

“I love you, Gwen. With everything in my heart.”

He didn’t have to say it. Love glistened in his eyes and poured off of his skin. In her soul, she knew, without a doubt, that he was the man she’d been waiting for her entire life.

“I love you,” she murmured.

He groaned and bent to kiss her. The same soft lips she’d come to cherish moved across her mouth in a gentle, searching kiss. His belly trembled against hers. It gave her a measure of comfort to know he was nervous too.

He didn’t show it though. His hand moved with quiet intention along her jaw and down the side of her neck. He traced the line of her collar bone while sliding his tongue between her lips.

She sighed into the kiss. Every inch of her body thrilled to his touch. As his hand grazed the tops of her breasts, desire pooled hot and thick in her belly. She never knew she could be touched with such reverence. A wave of regret hit her. If only he’d been her first.

“Where are you?” he asked.

“What do you mean?”

“You went away for a second. Stay here with me.”

“I am.”

She pushed aside the errant thoughts. She was starting to realize that regret was a wasted emotion. She couldn’t change the past, but she could do everything in her power to learn from it and move forward.

Nosh’s lips traced a trail from the edge of her mouth to her earlobe. When he nuzzled and sucked on the ultra-sensitive skin, she moaned. As his hand tenderly cupped her breast, she whimpered. The sensations overwhelmed her.

“Wait,” she whispered.

Nosh stopped but didn’t move away. His topaz eyes shimmered with flecks of gold. The look projected everything he wasn’t saying. He loved her. He respected her enough to stop when she asked him to. And for that, she’d love him for the rest of her life.

She leaned up and kissed Nosh. He tentatively brushed his thumb across her nipple. She shivered and sighed.

“You’re so soft,” he groaned.

She covered his roaming hand with hers and squeezed. “More.”

As he caressed the curve of her breast, his lips found her neck. She lay back against the pillow. He propped up on one elbow while he traced little circles across her breasts.

“You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen. I’m so glad we found each other.”

“I’m glad we did too.”

He leaned over to spread kisses along her neck. When he dipped lower, she laced her fingers in his hair. Every kiss filled her with love and chased away the darkness that had been locked inside her body for so long. It was as if she was being reborn through his love.

Every touch was another step toward reclaiming her body. The persistent feeling of shame dissipated with every caress. The dirty aura which had clung to her skin for months was being washed clean with his tongue.

Tears of joy formed in the corners of her eyes. She was finally free.

Nosh’s lips captured one nipple then the other. The whole time, he kept his gaze on her face. She wanted to tell him to relax, that every time he touched her, another part of her healed. But as soon as she opened her mouth, his lips brushed across her sex.

She jolted then laughed nervously. “I didn’t expect that.”

He grinned. “You’re in for a treat then. Just lay back and let me show you how much I love you.”

His hands slid to gently hold her hips as his head brushed against the inside of her thighs. A hunger she didn’t understand gripped her. If he didn’t do something soon, the tension in her core would kill her.

But just when she thought she’d die from suspense, his tongue brushed against the soft folds of her sex. She moaned and arched to meet his kiss. The involuntary movement shocked her. She never knew a man could kiss her like this.

As his tongue glided from the top to the bottom of her sex, she trembled. Her hands reached for his and he clasped them. The extra pressure soothed her tumultuous emotions. She never expected sex to be this good. Heck, she never knew a man could—oh, God.

He swirled his tongue across the top of her sex in long, luxurious strokes. A rush of heat filled her as she teetered on the edge of something she didn’t understand, something she couldn’t define.

“Nosh, what are you—”

His mouth closed over the sensitive peak. When he started to gently suck, she tossed her head to one side. Her back arched and a primal cry of pure passion escaped her lips.

“Oh, God. Oh, God.”

Her eyes flew open as a shockwave of pleasure blasted throughout her entire body. She half-screamed, half-cried as rolling waves of ecstasy radiated out in concentric circles. Her body collapsed in on itself as she rolled to one side.

Nosh crawled up to hold her quivering body. “I love you.”

She couldn’t speak until the last tremor left her limp and completely satisfied. “Oh, God. What was that?”

He smiled. “Probably an orgasm.”

She flushed. She was so inexperienced.

He caressed her cheek. “I loved watching you come.”

When she kissed him, the tangy taste of her was on his lips. As he kissed her, he rolled onto his back and pulled her on top of him.

“What are you doing?” she asked.

“Let’s try it this way.”

“I didn’t know there were different ways.”

He grinned wickedly. “I promise I’ll show you everything.”

She giggled.

But as she sat back on his thighs, she realized she had no idea what to do. She hadn’t even looked at his cock yet. She’d been too afraid to confront her greatest fear. When he put it inside her, would it hurt?

He must have sensed her trepidation. “You’re in control.”

She reached down and tentatively touched his cock. It was rigid and thick. A wave of fear cast doubt about her ability to make love to him.

In a thick voice he said, “You can touch me as long as you need to. I want you to feel safe.”

She bit the edge of her lip. As she wrapped her hand around his cock, he moaned. She gave it a gentle squeeze. It was soft and fleshy on the outside. It didn’t feel at all like the one that had torn into her so many months ago.

She licked her bottom lip. As she rose up above his cock, her thighs trembled. But desire won out. She wanted him. She needed him to fill her with something other than fear and pain. She needed him to fill her with love.

As she lowered herself onto him, his hands caressed her thighs.

“You feel so good,” he whispered.

Her mouth fell open as her soft, slick flesh stretched to accept him. As he slid into her, pleasure spread like honey through her body. She swayed backward. Nosh caught her and guided her forward to cover him.

At first he didn’t move, but then his hips pulled back slightly before pushing forward. She buried her face into his chest. It was nothing like the last time. She wanted to weep with relief. Sex didn’t have to hurt. It wasn’t about violence and rage. It was about love.

She braced her hands on either side of his body. “It feels so good.”

He groaned. “Oh yes.”

She rocked her hips back and forth drawing him deeper with each gentle thrust. The tension in her sex built as their bodies moved as one. As instinct took over, she fell into a timeless rhythm. She could have moved like this forever. She never wanted to be apart from Nosh. Every tender caress filled her with hope. She could be happy again. She could live the life she’d always dreamed about, a life without the ever-present fear she’d endured for almost a year.

His hands squeezed her hips and she sat down harder. The extra depth awakened a new hunger. She wanted to experience ecstasy again, so she trusted her instincts and moved over him with abandon.

Panting and gasping, she sat back slightly and placed her palms on his chest. Her fingers splayed open as her eyes closed. Her mouth formed an “O” as she moved closer and closer to the point of no return.

Nosh whispered, “Come on, sweetie. Come for me.”

She ground her hips against his, moving him deeper inside her. She mashed that ultra-sensitive flesh against his pubic bone until she found the perfect spot. Then, she shattered into a million pieces.

Her breath caught in her throat and she came in a flurry of muffled cries. As she convulsed on him, he held her tightly. He thrust deep one more time then he erupted inside her. Molten heat jetted into her to fill her with his love.

She lay on top of him for a long time, trying to recover. When she finally slid off of him, he tucked her into the cradle of his arm.

With his free hand, he traced a heart over her breast. “You’re incredible. I love you so much.”

She gazed up at her mate. “I love you too.”

“We should get some rest. I want to make love to you all night.”

She gasped. “Again?”

A look of concern flashed across his face. “I mean… if you want to.”

She grinned. “I want to.”

“Gwen, I haven’t asked you this yet. Well, not officially. But…”

“What?”

He gazed into her eyes. “Will you be my life-mate?”

She squealed and threw her arms around his neck. “Yes.”