Deal With It (16 page)

Vance

I
stared at the white envelope, and it stared back at me. My mother had slipped it into my room and laid it facedown on my dresser. The return address said Grambling State University. I had applied without my father’s knowledge. In his mind, I didn’t need to apply anywhere but Duke. But my mother knew what I wanted. She knew that I wanted to explore my options and had encouraged me to do just that.

“Go ahead and apply to other schools,” she’d said. “This is your future. Your father has lived his life.”

“It’s hard to tell him that, though,” I’d tried to explain.

“You apply, and if you’re accepted, I’ll handle your father for you,” she’d promised.

I slipped my finger inside the curve of the envelope, opened it carefully and unfolded the letter.

“We are pleased to notify you that you have been accepted to Grambling State University….” I read the words softly. “A four-year full scholarship. Room and board…”

I sat on the edge of my bed. Read through the letter
again, until I heard a light tap on the door. Mom stuck her head in.

“Can I come in?” she asked.

“Yeah,” I whispered. “Check this out.”

I handed her the letter, and she took a seat on the bed, next to me. Read it silently.

“Oh, baby. This is so good.” She smiled. “They’re offering you a free ride.”

“I know,” I said. “But it’s too bad I can’t take it.”

“Why can’t you?” she asked. “I told you I would handle your father.”

“He’s had my life planned for me since I was five. I’m supposed to graduate from Duke on a full scholarship and go on to medical school. Become a dentist like him.”

“I thought you wanted to go to law school,” she said.

“I do.”

“Then that’s where you’ll be going. This is your life, not your father’s.” She kissed my cheek. “Congratulations, son. You did it, and I’m proud of you.”

“Thanks, Ma.”

“Now get cleaned up for dinner,” she said. “I’ll talk to your father later.”

At the dinner table, the conversation was the same as usual. Dad talked about the clients he had serviced during the course of the day, discussed how many teeth he’d pulled, how many root canals he’d performed and how many people’s teeth were the worst he’d ever seen in his life. He had seen so many cavities in his life, it wasn’t even funny. Lori talked about her day at school and how much more money she needed for cheerleading. It seemed the cheerleaders were always asking for money for this and money for that. Dad would just write a check for whatever it was. Mom talked about her latest court case. She was representing a man who’d been accused of murdering his
wife. It was intriguing to listen to her courtroom stories. Made me want to be just like her.

My day had been pretty boring, and so I did not have much to contribute to the dinner conversation. Unable to play basketball because of my injury, I usually sat out at practices and games.

“Honey, guess what happened to Vance today?” Mom began.

“What?” Dad asked.

“He got an acceptance letter from Grambling,” she said. “He got a full ride, a spot on the team…Doesn’t get much better than that.”

“Really? That’s all right, son.” Dad smiled. “I told you scouts were watching you.”

“Yep.” I looked at Mom. Wondered where she was going with this conversation.

“I’m so proud of him. He loves that school,” Mom continued.

“I’m proud of him, too. Just goes to show what a good ballplayer he is,” Dad said. “Duke will be lucky to have him.”

“Honey, he’s thinking seriously about Grambling,” Mom said. “That’s where he wants to go.”

“Babe, we’ve been through this before. He’s not going to Grambling,” Dad said. “They don’t have anything to offer him. Duke is a good undergraduate school, and they have a decent premed program.”

“That’s another thing,” Mom began. They spoke about me in third person, as if I wasn’t even in the room. “He’s not interested in medical school, baby.”

“What?” Dad smiled, as if what my mother had said was ludicrous. “Are you kidding? This boy’s been groomed for dentistry since he was a little boy. Look at his hands. He’s got the fingers of a dentist. I bet you he can tell you right now how to perform a root canal. Can’t you, son?”

“Yes, sir,” I confessed. I had watched my father perform root canals a million times. I knew exactly how to prep a patient.
I knew every step, and even though I didn’t have a degree, I knew how to perform a root canal better than any dentist, any day of the week.

“You see, babe, he’s a doctor at heart.”

“He really isn’t,” Mom said. “And if you really took the time to listen to your son, you would know that his love is for the law.”

Dad laughed and then looked my way, as if he expected me to laugh, too. I wasn’t laughing at all.

“Vance, what is your mother talking about?” he asked.

“She, uh…well, see…” I stumbled over my words. Why was I so nervous? “I’ve gone to the office with Mom a few times, and to the courtroom, too. Man! The courtroom is just so interesting to me. It’s an awesome place, for real. And seeing Mom work her magic and all…I just can’t even describe it. She’s a genius, Dad. You should see her….”

He was looking at me as if I’d lost my mind.

“Man, there’s so much I could do with a law degree. I could be a lawyer. I could go on to be a judge. Wearing that fly robe and bangin’ my gavel and throwing the book at criminals.” Verbalizing my desires to my dad had me excited. “I could become a senator or the United States attorney general.”

Mom was smiling. Dad looked as if he’d seen a ghost. I was waiting for him to throw something across the table, knock me in the head with it.

“Wow,” he said softly. “I didn’t know you felt like that.”

“It’s not that I don’t like dentistry, Dad. I think what you do is cool, but law is really where my heart is.”

“I can respect that,” Dad said. “I want you to succeed at whatever you decide to do, son.”

“I think I will do a better job with my studies at a school where I’m comfortable.” I just went for it. “I feel like I would be more successful academically at Grambling than I would at Duke.”

“That’s not possible, son,” Dad said. “There’s no comparison between the two schools. I attended Duke. Your grandfather attended Duke. All my friends and colleagues are administrators there. You have a sure shot for success.”

“That’s exactly what I’m talking about. All of your college buddies are there. I would never feel like I was succeeding on my own,” I said. “They would be breathing down my neck all the time.”

“Is that what this is all about? My colleagues breathing down your neck?” He sighed. “You don’t have a clue about what’s best for you.”

“I really do, Dad. And I’m going to Grambling,” I stated matter-of-factly.

Silence filled the room. I had taken a risk, stepping out there, standing up to my father for the first time in my life. I knew that he loved me and only wanted what was best for me, but I was standing firm in my decision. He wasn’t having to fork over any cash for my education. Either way, I was getting a free ride, so what difference did it make to him where I spent the next four years of my life? Both Duke and Grambling were good schools, and I wanted Grambling.

“Is that your final choice?” he asked.

“Yes, sir,” I replied.

I waited for him to send me to my room—take away all my privileges until I came to my senses.

“Then I guess you’re going to Grambling,” he said.

He was hurt. It was written all over his face. Disappointment filled his entire being. But what could he say? I would be eighteen in just a few weeks and could make my own decisions.

“Can I be excused?” I asked.

“Of course,” Dad said and motioned for me to leave the table.

I went upstairs to my room, shut the door behind me. I pulled my Grambling State T-shirt out of my drawer, shook it in order
to knock the wrinkles out. I pulled it over my head, checked it out in the mirror.

I looked good in gold and black.

Tameka

Two
long, sleek black town cars pulled up in front of Grandpa Drew’s house. The cars seemed to make it all real. The boys were dressed in their gray, brown and black suits. Alyssa wore a black dress with black panty hose and her sexy Nine West shoes. Roni wore a two-piece gray pantsuit and a pair of gray pumps. I had chosen my red dress because it was the only thing I’d packed that offered the room that I needed to hide my stomach. Although my stomach hadn’t started growing yet, I was still paranoid. The last thing I needed was for someone to notice that I’d picked up a few pounds or had a little pouch in my midsection. I chose my black tights because they offered that extra support that I needed in the stomach area.

I held on to Mommy’s hand as we sat on the sofa in the living room. My heart was beating faster than a freight train.

“The cars are here,” Uncle Rich announced.

Aunt Helen rushed outside to meet the drivers, probably to give them last-minute instructions about how she wanted things to go. She loved giving orders, especially during this time.
I looked at Aunt Helen differently now. She had never been my favorite person, but now I had absolutely no respect for her. She had allowed Roni to be violated in the worst way and hadn’t done a thing about it. I was angry with her.

As we all slipped our winter coats on, Daddy grabbed my hand. He gave me a warm smile, and I gave him one back.

“You ready?” he asked.

“Not really, but I don’t have a choice,” I said.

At the church, soft music played in the background as we sat in front of Grandpa Drew’s casket. He looked as if he were sleeping, lying there in his gray pin-striped suit and wearing the same burgundy tie that he’d worn to Aunt Helen’s wedding. His brown, ashy-looking hands were folded on top of his chest. His gray hair and mustache were trimmed perfectly, and somehow a little smile twinkled in the corner of his mouth. Grandpa Drew had been a Christian, so I knew that he had already gone to Heaven. The body that lay motionless in front of us was not really him—not anymore; it was just a shell that he’d used while he was here on earth. I knew that he was there, though. In the church somewhere, he was looking down on us and smiling. Probably nudging one of his newfound buddies in Heaven, telling him one of his corny jokes.

I imagined he was probably disappointed with me. Probably frowning at the fact that I’d made such a stupid mistake and messed up my life.

“I thought you were the smart one in the bunch, ladybug,” he’d say if he could.

“Everybody makes mistakes, Grandpa Drew,” I would say in my defense.

“It’s okay, though.” Grandpa Drew had never held a grudge. He’d disciplined with love, but made sure that every one of us knew that he cared. “I still love you,” Grandpa Drew would tell
me. He would hold me tight, and I would know that everything would be all right.

Uncle Rich was the vocalist in our family, and at the front of the church, he sang a solo. He barely made it through before tears filled his light brown eyes, and before long the entire congregation was crying. The pastor of the church gave our family words of comfort. Aunt Helen, Aunt Beverly, Daddy and a few of Grandpa Drew’s friends gave short little speeches in remembrance of my grandfather.

At the end of the service, we each had one last opportunity to look at Grandpa Drew before they closed the casket. Everyone went forward one by one in order to bid farewell to a good man. Grant held on to Aunt Helen when her legs became frail. She was crying and screaming out of control, and I wondered what all the screaming was about. It was Roni who should’ve been screaming the loudest. She would be the one suffering the most after we all went back home.

“I’ll see you in my dreams,” I whispered to Grandpa Drew while the choir sang another selection.

I could’ve sworn I heard him say, “I’ll be there, ladybug.”

I wondered if he would be there when I told my parents that I was pregnant. I hoped so, because I would need all the moral support I could get.

Grandpa Drew’s house was filled with lots of people. Some of them were members of our family, while others were members of his church. A few of them were neighbors and friends, who brought fried chicken, macaroni and cheese, sweet-potato pies and other desserts. There was so much food, and it seemed to just keep coming.

Roni, Alyssa and I quickly changed out of our dress clothes and into more comfortable ones. We sat in our pink bedroom and talked about everyone. We laughed at how the choir had
sung every song off-key, and how Roni had dozed when the pastor started giving his words of comfort. We all agreed that Uncle Rich’s solo had been the best part of the service.

“I swear to God, that big lady in the choir had the hots for Grandpa Drew,” Roni said.

“The one in the floral dress?” Alyssa said.

“Yes.” Roni laughed. “She was crying like she’d lost a husband, and I thought she was gonna climb into the casket with him.”

“I saw her,” I said, remembering the woman with white hair and big breasts.

“She’s been over here before,” Roni said. “She was always bringing cookies and pies for Grandpa Drew. They even sat on the porch a few times, rocking and talking until the wee hours of the night.”

“Yep, something was definitely going on between those two.” I laughed. “Nobody was crying harder.”

“Except for barracuda lady. I thought she was gonna blow a gasket,” Roni said. “She should win an Academy Award. She and her sleazy husband.”

“What are we going to do about him, by the way?” I asked. “We can’t leave you here like that.”

“There’s nothing you can do,” Roni said. “Besides, you got your own issues.”

“When are you going to tell your parents, Tameka?” Alyssa asked.

I shrugged. I didn’t have any answers.

“You’d better make some decisions fast,” Roni said. “Especially if you decide to get an abortion. You have to do it before you get too far along. Otherwise, you’re putting yourself in danger.”

“I’ll deal with it as soon as I get home,” I told them. “Now, as for you, Roni, I think you should tell my mom your secret. Maybe she can help. Maybe she could arrange for you to come and live with us for a while.”

“Won’t ever happen. Barracuda lady’s not going for that,” Roni said.

“What won’t ever happen?” My mom walked into the room, carrying her pumps in her hand. “My feet hurt.”

“Hi, Aunt Mel.” Alyssa smiled.

“Hello, girls.” Mommy looked at each of us, one after the other, suspicion in her eyes. “What are you up to?”

“Nothing,” Roni quickly answered.

“Tell her,” I mumbled under my breath.

“Tell me what?” Mommy asked.

“Nothing. Your daughter’s losing it,” Roni said, playing it off.

I jumped right in there. “Roni wants to come and stay with us for a while.”

“She does?” Mommy asked. “What about school?”

“She can go to school in Atlanta,” I said. “We can enroll her in school. We can fix up the guest bedroom for her and everything.”

“Why would she want to come to Atlanta, Tameka? Her mother is here in Charlotte,” Mommy said.

I kept answering for Roni. “Because she hates her stepfather. He’s a punk.”

“Watch your language, girl,” Mommy said. “I know you don’t really care for Grant, Roni, but he is your mother’s husband. He’s the man that she chose to spend the rest of her life with, whether you like it or not.”

“I know, Aunt Mel, but…” Roni’s voice was beginning to crack.

“He did something bad to her, Aunt Mel,” Alyssa interrupted. “Something that he should go to jail for.”

My mother immediately shut the door and locked it. There was deep concern in her eyes.

“What is going on, Roni? You tell me right now what he did to you!” Mommy demanded.

Roni was silent. Tears began to creep down the sides of her face.

“He raped her,” Alyssa whispered.

“More than once, too,” I added.

“Is this true, Roni?” Mommy grabbed Roni’s hands in hers, held them tight.

Roni shook her head yes.

“Oh my God, baby. I’m so sorry.” Mommy grabbed Roni and held her. She rocked her and wouldn’t let go. “That’s why you hate him so much.”

“You can’t tell Uncle Paul or Uncle Rich,” Roni pleaded. “They wouldn’t understand.”

“Does your mother know?” Mommy asked.

The looks on our faces told her that the answer was yes. My mother was furious; I could see it in her eyes.

“Please don’t say anything, Aunt Mel. It will only make it worse,” Roni pleaded.

“I will handle this,” Mommy promised. “One way or another, I will handle this. Pack yourself a bag. You’re going back to Atlanta with us.”

“She won’t let me go,” Roni said.

“Oh, she’ll let you go, or there will be hell to pay,” Mommy warned. “You pack a bag, and I’ll handle the rest.”

“Thank you, Aunt Mel.” Roni wrapped her arms around my mother’s neck. “Thank you for protecting me now that Grandpa Drew is gone.”

With a confused look on her face, Mommy stood and approached the door.

“Got any more secrets you want to share with me?” she asked.

My eyes bounced from Roni to Alyssa, and their eyes landed on me.

“Got any more secrets, Tameka?” Roni asked.

“Nope. That’s it,” I lied.

“Good. That’s enough for one night.” Mommy sighed. “People are finally starting to leave, and it’ll be quiet around
here soon. Tameka, start getting your things together. Your dad wants to pull out of here early in the morning.”

“Okay, Mommy,” I said. “I’ll be ready.”

She didn’t say another word. She just left the room, shutting the door behind her. At least Roni’s secret was out there, in the air, with a solution just around the corner. If anyone could handle things, it was my mother. She knew just how to make things right.

“You feel better?” I asked Roni.

“Much,” Roni said. “Aunt Mel’s cool.”

“I told you,” I said. “Everything will be just fine.”

“What about you?” Roni asked. “How are you going to handle your little problem?”

“I’m not sure yet,” I confessed.

It was true. I wasn’t sure yet. All I knew was that I couldn’t leave Roni in North Carolina to deal with her mother’s husband all by herself. She wasn’t strong enough to do it. I would deal with my problem once I got home. One way…or another.